Coming out every day

  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Jul 18, 2008 3:34 PM GMT
    Do you come out everyday?

    I bought a book a long time ago called "Coming Out Everyday." It was basically about the fact that as a gay man, you have to come out to everyone, because the assumption is always that you're straight. At the time, this made sense to me, and that's how I felt, until now.

    I didn't realize it exactly until last night, but at some point in the last 5 years, I've stopped 'coming out' to people. Everyone I know and love knows already, and for everyone else, I don't make a big deal about it. I mention my partner, using his name, and let them figure it out on their own.

    I was talking to a friend last night, and he said something about 'coming out' to people. This was interesting to me, because I immediately realized that I haven't had that nervous sensation of telling someone I'm gay and waiting for their reaction in a long time.

    So, is coming out to people a big deal for you? Do you get nervous about it? Is it something you think about?
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    Jul 18, 2008 3:39 PM GMT
    I do this all the time on the net. LOL. Even my teammates are annoyed at how I almost always mention the fact that I'm gay at least once every hour. Even in the online FPS I'm playing, it's like everyone's reaction is 'Yeah, you're gay, we know, we dealt with it, STFU already'. LOL icon_redface.gif

    I'm consciously trying to dampen it now. Lord knows what'll happen when I do come out fully in real life. I'd probably find a way to sneak it into every conversation. heh
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    Jul 18, 2008 3:44 PM GMT
    Sed, to the tune of: "Ma, Pa, I'm gay, please pass the salt."
    Fortunately for me, I'm a dead giveaway. The whole of Dubai knows I'm gay.
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Jul 18, 2008 4:00 PM GMT
    That's easy for you to say Zim. You're Thirty Fwhore.
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    Jul 18, 2008 4:08 PM GMT
    *ahem* dhirty-fwhore *ahem*
    how are you? x
  • UncleverName

    Posts: 741

    Jul 18, 2008 4:34 PM GMT
    Somewhat hijacking my own thread...

    I'm just Dhirty this year. Give me a bit longer, and I'll be Fwhore as well.
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    Jul 18, 2008 4:52 PM GMT
    No, my private life is my private life and if they assume I am straight and try to fix me up with someone I set them "straight" so to speak.
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    Jul 18, 2008 5:31 PM GMT
    I haven't had to say, "I'm gay" to anyone in a long time. I think people usually figure it out for themselves. It shouldn't be a big deal, because it doesn't change anything about who you are (deel down), just who you love.
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    Jul 18, 2008 5:35 PM GMT
    I don't volunteer the info however if I am asked I tell the truth!
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    Jul 18, 2008 5:40 PM GMT
    I don't expect a straight person to tell me they are straight so why the fuck would I feel like I got to tell some pimple faced kid at the drive through I'm gay? If they need to know they will know.
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    Jul 18, 2008 5:45 PM GMT
    During my RJ hiatus, I did some soul-searching. I did come to terms with myself that I am in fact, a homosexual.
    I am so out, I needed to come in --so I found myself back here again...in the company of the hotlist-worthies... yeah okay, chatroom junkies included. BAH!
    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_cool.gif
    Hi Alpha62667 --you're a big bad bitch.
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    Jul 18, 2008 5:49 PM GMT
    I've never felt the need to come out to anyone other than those who mean most to me in life. As Popeye put it, "I ams what I ams." Gay is a part of who I am, not what I am. If people ask, I tell, but I don't offer.
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    Jul 18, 2008 5:56 PM GMT
    Alpha62667 saidI don't expect a straight person to tell me they are straight so why the fuck would I feel like I got to tell some pimple faced kid at the drive through I'm gay? If they need to know they will know.


    Yeah, fucking pimple-faced pencil-necked dick-head suckwad asshole shit-for-brains people! Fucking losers!

    (I've been trying to learn to speak in the poster's native languages lately. I think it's helping me to make a better impression on people. Whadday'all think?)
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    Jul 18, 2008 5:59 PM GMT
    Don't you mean, "I think it's helping me to make a bitter impression on people"?
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    Jul 18, 2008 6:02 PM GMT
    iguanaSF said
    Alpha62667 saidI don't expect a straight person to tell me they are straight so why the fuck would I feel like I got to tell some pimple faced kid at the drive through I'm gay? If they need to know they will know.


    Yeah, fucking pimple-faced pencil-necked dick-head suckwad asshole shit-for-brains people! Fucking losers!

    (I've been trying to learn to speak in the poster's native languages lately. I think it's helping me to make a better impression on people. Whadday'all think?)


    FUCKEN A!!
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    Jul 18, 2008 6:21 PM GMT
    iguanaSF said
    Alpha62667 saidI don't expect a straight person to tell me they are straight so why the fuck would I feel like I got to tell some pimple faced kid at the drive through I'm gay? If they need to know they will know.


    Yeah, fucking pimple-faced pencil-necked dick-head suckwad asshole shit-for-brains people! Fucking losers!

    (I've been trying to learn to speak in the poster's native languages lately. I think it's helping me to make a better impression on people. Whadday'all think?)


    Oooh that's hawt! icon_cool.gif

    *adjusts underwear*
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    Jul 18, 2008 8:09 PM GMT
    I only talk about being gay if necessary. Most of the time I don't think it needs mentioning.

    I used to, for instance, come out to the supermarket checkout lady. But I realised somewhere along the way that when I buy non-fat Greek yogurt, Kashi, and pomegranate juice dressed head to toe in a matching outfit with appropriate accessories and shoes, she can figure it out...
    icon_surprised.gif

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    Jul 18, 2008 8:32 PM GMT
    I hate having to do this because i recently acquired a group of new friends and im sure one of them is well onto me, hell he even said "fuck, i already KNOWWW your gay". I think most have put two and two together, but i haven't necessarily told them straight out because i haven't found it necessary to do so. Now when they start talking about girls, i wont lie i crawl right back into the closet and attempt to talk about how "hot" this one chick is and all that fake shit. Oh well, one day.
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    Jul 18, 2008 8:46 PM GMT
    london_nyc saidI only talk about being gay if necessary. Most of the time I don't think it needs mentioning.

    I used to, for instance, come out to the supermarket checkout lady. But I realised somewhere along the way that when I buy non-fat Greek yogurt, Kashi, and pomegranate juice dressed head to toe in a matching outfit with appropriate accessories and shoes, she can figure it out...
    icon_surprised.gif



    I tend to agree. I'm of the mindset that sexual orientation should be divulged on a need-to-know basis. There is a bit of ancient wisdom that goes along the lines of, "say as little as possible." I'm not advocating that we all stay in the closet; rather, I think there is tremendous gay peer pressure to be out to the world, but I would contend that this approach robs us of personal power and, at times, even our dignity. By all means, be out to trusted friends and loved ones. Keep the rest of the world guessing.
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    Jul 18, 2008 8:55 PM GMT
    Most of my friends are straight, and most of my friends friends are straight. As much as I'd like it to not be an issue, previous posters have a point, in people just assuming I'm straight. That assumption leads people to start talking all sorts of shit they wouldn't talk if they knew I was gay. I can only speak for myself, but when I'm out with my friends, and someone starts talking shit about gay people, I speak up. I don't really care if they have a problem with gay people or not, I know I don't have to listen to it. The positive side of this is that I've opened a few peoples minds up on the issue, and destroyed some preconceived notions of what a gay man is.
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    Jul 18, 2008 9:12 PM GMT
    something really tragic (a matter of life & death) happened to me last december 2007 that i decided to come out ...

    first ... to my family ...

    then ... to some few friends ...

    but majority of my friends do not know who i really am ...

    my boyfriend was inspirational in my coming out ...

    of course, i don't announce it to the world that i'm gay ... if they ask, i will tell ...

    but to those people or friends who cannot understand who i really am, i don't waste my time trying to explain to them ... it is like, there's no need to explain ... i don't care anyway what they say ...

    it's my life, and i'm the one to decide on how to live my life ... it's none of their business anyway ...