1 couple 2 different religions...will this work?

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    Apr 26, 2012 10:51 AM GMT
    So I just started seeing this guy.
    Awesome guy, we click so easily.
    The only thing is...he is Christian.
    I am just spiritual. I believe in the afterlife but not religion.
    Will this work?
    Or will this cause problems?
    I ask because I have no dating experience help me!
    Of course I will let things play out and not just end things...but I am just curious as to what I should or might be expecting
    I personally push no spiritual or religious affiliation...but idk about him
    I do not despise religious people only stupid, pushy religious people

    THANKS!
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    Apr 26, 2012 1:31 PM GMT
    It will take some work for each of you to recognize what other believes in and respect that. If you can do that then it won't be an issue.
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    Apr 26, 2012 1:40 PM GMT
    Its hard to generalize. Sometimes, we're born and raised by devout Christian parents. It ends up being part of who we are. Guys notice that I don't use the full spectrum of swear words. I stick with "fuck".

    Guys of Mormon faith. Sometimes, you meet one who is the salt of the earth but not out to his family so you end up sneaking around. Then, there is a close partered friend of mine who is the total opposite and a closet sadist top... "flogging party? Awesome. When? Where? BYOF?"icon_rolleyes.gif I guess its merely a bonus that he's a psychologist.

    I can identify with this guy. I think you'll be fine...as long as he is comfortable being seen in public with you.icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Apr 26, 2012 1:47 PM GMT
    Hard to say, esp. since we don't know either of you. One factor for him (speaking as a Christian) may be resolving in his mind how the person he's in love with (perhaps you) would reject the One he loves (Jesus), who will always have priority in his life (again, depending on his level of Christian maturity). But like I said, hard to speculate since we don't know you or him. Too many variables.

    Bottom line, though.... like all relationships, it will take work to navigate and make compromises. I'd be curious to know what his "non-negotiables" are or are not regarding his faith.
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    Apr 26, 2012 1:54 PM GMT
    NaturalDisasterI do not despise religious people only stupid, pushy religious people

    For as long as he is not like that, and won't turn into that when relationships grows deeper, you'll be okay.
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    Apr 26, 2012 1:56 PM GMT
    As long as nobody feels the need to "convince" the other person of their beliefs, nor feels the need to put anyone else down for their beliefs, everything should be just fine
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    Apr 26, 2012 1:59 PM GMT
    I think you'll work out just fine.

    If you believe in "the afterlife" you're both capable of making the mental leap of completely ignoring everything we know about human physiology and believing what you want to believe for "spiritual" reasons.

    Sounds like you two are on the same intellectual level.
  • Lincsbear

    Posts: 2605

    Apr 26, 2012 5:24 PM GMT
    As long as you respect each other`s beliefs and accept the difference, I can`t see a problem in principle.
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    Apr 26, 2012 5:38 PM GMT
    NaturalDisaster saidWill this work?

    Depends on you and him. Gay couples of different religions can be very successful together. Other couples break up over what food each likes, or what music. It depends on the tolerance & flexibility of the men involved.

    My husband's oldest gay friends are a couple where one is Jewish, the other Christian. That's the couple in whose home we ate the Passover Seder earlier this month.

    So I would have to say it's entirely possible to have different religious beliefs, and not cause problems. But if your guy is an inflexible fanatic about his religion, or you about your beliefs, then there could be a clash.
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    Apr 26, 2012 8:22 PM GMT

    "Of course I will let things play out and not just end things...but I am just curious as to what I should or might be expecting
    I personally push no spiritual or religious affiliation...but idk about him"

    Date him and find out. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 26, 2012 8:36 PM GMT
    Not if you are going to fight over how to raise the children.
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    Apr 27, 2012 12:37 AM GMT
    NaturalDisaster saidSo I just started seeing this guy.
    Awesome guy, we click so easily.
    The only thing is...he is Christian.
    I am just spiritual. I believe in the afterlife but not religion.
    Will this work?
    Or will this cause problems?
    I ask because I have no dating experience help me!
    Of course I will let things play out and not just end things...but I am just curious as to what I should or might be expecting
    I personally push no spiritual or religious affiliation...but idk about him
    I do not despise religious people only stupid, pushy religious people

    THANKS!


    You make it sound as though spiritual people are the pinnacle of perfection and are immune from faultiness. (Holier than thou syndrome.)

    Good that you plan to let things play out. Insight is always more meaningful from experience.

  • Apr 27, 2012 1:06 AM GMT
    It is not really two religions. It will work (as long as he is not a Catholic).
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    Apr 27, 2012 1:08 AM GMT
    ooooh my ex was raised catholic and his father use to be a jew. anyway , he was anti religion and anti myself practicing anything. he constantly made fun of people n tv who prayed and knew nothing about the mizrahi/jewish culture. anyway, it really annoyed me but i guess i never brought it up because i did what i wanted to whether he liked it or not.
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    Apr 27, 2012 4:09 AM GMT
    I'm atheist and my bf is Catholic (and recently found out he's also Repub but doesn't vote because of the anti-gay nature of current Repubs).

    It works pretty well because he has a high IQ, which means he's highly capable of learning. The more I teach him about the history of religions, the more he questions his original faith.

    There is hope. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 27, 2012 4:33 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidI'm atheist and my bf is Catholic (and recently found out he's also Repub but doesn't vote because of the anti-gay nature of current Repubs).

    It works pretty well because he has a high IQ, which means he's highly capable of learning. The more I teach him about the history of religions, the more he questions his original faith.

    There is hope. icon_biggrin.gif


    Wow Paul that was so cool to read!

    *giggles unashamedly at Paul in love, you rascal*

    -Doug

    Yes men can giggle although I guess snicker is better, though that word to me doesn't convey warmth. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 27, 2012 4:40 AM GMT
    Now a days I think political differences would be something more to worry about than religious differences. I mean when was the last time you heard someone say "Be respectful and there's no reason for it not to work," regarding political differences?
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    Apr 27, 2012 4:54 AM GMT
    No one knows.

    The truth is that your relationships won't work until they do.
    There are countless reasons why it won't work out, yet there are plenty of people who make their relationships work in spite of those reasons.

    You can either sit at home looking for ways this won't work, or take a risk.
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    Apr 27, 2012 4:32 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI'm atheist and my bf is Catholic (and recently found out he's also Repub but doesn't vote because of the anti-gay nature of current Repubs).

    It works pretty well because he has a high IQ, which means he's highly capable of learning. The more I teach him about the history of religions, the more he questions his original faith.

    There is hope. icon_biggrin.gif


    Sounds like an objective cat guarding the milk. icon_wink.gif
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    Apr 27, 2012 4:44 PM GMT
    yes it will work. it's just religion after all.
    i dated a guy that was quite into his religion and i'm anti religion and we got on well. my longest relationship to date

  • Apr 27, 2012 10:34 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI'm atheist and my bf is Catholic (and recently found out he's also Repub but doesn't vote because of the anti-gay nature of current Repubs).

    It works pretty well because he has a high IQ, which means he's highly capable of learning. The more I teach him about the history of religions, the more he questions his original faith.

    There is hope. icon_biggrin.gif


    Well, the fact that he can question his faith in his religion means that he is not really that devoted. Religion is not science so you either believe it or you don't. And being religious means you follow every rules, not taking some that you like and discarding some you find inconvenient.

    I have respect for people who don't believe in god, who won't acknowledge god, or who believe in god completely. The half-way ones are just weak.
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    Apr 27, 2012 10:38 PM GMT
    My boyfriend is Muslim. The cultural and religious differences are huge and can be challenging but there is always a way. It just takes patience and understanding.
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    Apr 27, 2012 11:04 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidThe more I teach him about the history of religions, the more he questions his original faith.

    I can just see "bad influence" written all over you. icon_twisted.gif
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    Apr 27, 2012 11:08 PM GMT
    It all depends on whether his religion is the priority in his life or you. He doesn't have to choose but he shouldnt force it on u.
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    Apr 27, 2012 11:16 PM GMT
    [quote][cite]NaturalDisaster said[/cite]So I just started seeing this guy.
    Awesome guy, we click so easily.
    The only thing is...he is Christian.
    I am just spiritual. I believe in the afterlife but not religion.
    Will this work?
    Or will this cause problems?
    I ask because I have no dating experience help me!
    Of course I will let things play out and not just end things...but I am just curious as to what I should or might be expecting
    I personally push no spiritual or religious affiliation...but idk about him
    I do not despise religious people only stupid, pushy religious people

    THANKS![/quote

    Can it work? Yes. You are already displaying a level head by not getting ahead of the situation until you know him better.

    The reason I say it can work is because I'm in a very healthy relationship with someone who was born, raised, and still embraces his mormon religion while I personally don't believe there is some higher power above us so enamored with it'self that if we don't fall at it's feet in all of it's grand love it will make sure we are tortured in hell. We've worked around it with a lot of respect both ways. It's a trial and error situation because I use to tease him about his faith and specifically his denomination ( mormon ) and I can tell he was really offended. Even hurt by my teasing so I don't do it at all. He's very passionate and private about his beliefs. Likewise he knows what not to say to me when it comes to God as it's super touchy with me. And we are more in love every day ( God when the fuck did I get so sappy? LOL ) But yes it can work.

    You may be one of the very first real young guys on this website that has shown some maturity the way you are addressing your situation. Just get to know him right now. See where it leads.