Long distance? hmm

  • Subhan89

    Posts: 4

    Apr 26, 2012 1:14 PM GMT
    what do you guys think of long distance relationships? it can be tough as hell but sweet in the same time. stumbled upon this video , its sweet. i personally think it wont work out but what do you guys think?

    love xo


  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Apr 26, 2012 2:29 PM GMT
    I know of several couples (gay and straight) who have very successful relationships that started out as LDRs. The key is that there 1) has to be honest and open communication throughout; and 2) there has to be an agreed-to end-point to the long-distance part of the relationship. The third (and most important) criterion, in my book, is the desire for it to work. If it's up to one person to "carry" the relationship, then it is pretty much doomed.

    Oh, and you have to see each other as much as possible, ideally splitting time as evenly as you can between each person's residence. It's important to see how your guy operates not only in his environment, but that he sees how you operate in yours. If you go to him all the time, you only see a one-sided perspective.
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Apr 26, 2012 3:14 PM GMT
    They never work...temptation and mistrust around every corner........
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    Apr 26, 2012 4:45 PM GMT
    NC3athlete saidI know of several couples (gay and straight) who have very successful relationships that started out as LDRs. The key is that there 1) has to be honest and open communication throughout; and 2) there has to be an agreed-to end-point to the long-distance part of the relationship. The third (and most important) criterion, in my book, is the desire for it to work. If it's up to one person to "carry" the relationship, then it is pretty much doomed.

    Oh, and you have to see each other as much as possible, ideally splitting time as evenly as you can between each person's residence. It's important to see how your guy operates not only in his environment, but that he sees how you operate in yours. If you go to him all the time, you only see a one-sided perspective.



    All are very important parts. I had a good LD going but after 4 months of not seeing him due to busy schedules and not ever having him in my "environment" it ultimately became too much for me. He cared about me deeply as did I about him but in my eyes the distance was not worth the pain I felt everyday being without him and how unhappy I was not having him.
    But
    1) Communication is most important
    2)Trust
    3) Don't take him for granted.
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    Apr 26, 2012 5:11 PM GMT
    NC3athlete saidI know of several couples (gay and straight) who have very successful relationships that started out as LDRs. The key is that there 1) has to be honest and open communication throughout; and 2) there has to be an agreed-to end-point to the long-distance part of the relationship. The third (and most important) criterion, in my book, is the desire for it to work. If it's up to one person to "carry" the relationship, then it is pretty much doomed.

    Oh, and you have to see each other as much as possible, ideally splitting time as evenly as you can between each person's residence. It's important to see how your guy operates not only in his environment, but that he sees how you operate in yours. If you go to him all the time, you only see a one-sided perspective.


    This is really good advice. Ive tried it before and I think, not really sure at all though, that it failed because he lost interest, aka point 3. Being in that spot deffffinitely sucks lol.
    I learned that with long distance comes a some obvious hurdles, like actually being able to make the time to travel and communicate on a relationship level, handling the financial aspect of flying (if necessary) or driving, and just being a good boyfriend all together is difficult when you can't be around each other aside from the predetermined visits.
    If you are to get into one, those three points NC3athlete made are the keys. Only thing I can say about the "agreed end of long distance point" he mentioned is that, that aspect is not something either person can really commit to when it starts. Its something you have to feel out and decide together when you feel it is the right time. Moving somewhere new contains a huge amount of consideration, only made more difficult to decide when doing it for a potential partner.
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    Apr 26, 2012 5:22 PM GMT
    I am absolutely biased when it comes to Long Distance Relationships, because that's how I was born.

    My parents met by chance on a freeway in Germany. She lived in Western Germany, he in Italy. They went out, got to like each other, and started sending letters. One letter a day, for a full year. He'd try to write in German, she'd try to write in Italian. It took each letter over a week to reach the other, so they had this really weird conversation going on, where they had to react to the things the other had said a week before.

    After a year, he proposed, she accepted, and a year later they were married.

    If this is not schmaltzy, I don't know what is. But it's true, and my brothers and I are living proof that it can work.
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Apr 26, 2012 6:24 PM GMT
    doing it right now and we r going strong. it gave us the time to get to know eachother first before the whole sex thing is involved.icon_biggrin.gificon_wink.gif
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    Apr 26, 2012 6:32 PM GMT
    I'm in one right now. Not a problem. Just vacationed last week to stay with him for a few days. Can't wait till Sept when I move back there and we can sex each other all the time again. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Apr 26, 2012 6:49 PM GMT
    Im having some sorts of long distance relationship too. I would not call it relationship cuz i havent met him yet but it's gonna happen in july and i'm so very excited.


    However, most guys would tell me that i'm wasting my time and this relationship is gonna end badly anytime soon. Well it's been a year and it's still all good. I'll see where it goes.

    My straight friends seem to always cheat on their GFs when they have long distance relationships tho'.... And i heard that gay guys have higher cheating potential...
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    Apr 26, 2012 6:57 PM GMT
    My late partner & I began as a 1500-mile LDR. Not for too long, just 6 months before we moved in together. Like young lovers, we were on the phone every day we weren't together, and e-mailing.

    Being retired we got to spend about 2 weeks for each of those months alternately visiting the other. But it was still a thrill to see him, at his place or mine. I wonder if that's why for the entire time we lived together we'd always do a lover's greeting when one of us came home, not a perfunctory "Hey" or some other minimal recognition, no more romantic than coming back from putting out the garbage.
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    Apr 26, 2012 7:00 PM GMT
    from my experience ... NOT a fan

    it didn't work
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    Apr 26, 2012 7:06 PM GMT
    I think if you are lucky enough to find someone who you are totally 100% comfortable with then distance is not gonna be an issue. If a LDR doesn't work, it just means he wasn't the right guy for you. They can work. All it requires is that you both are madly in love with eachother.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    Apr 26, 2012 7:42 PM GMT
    ^^^ this

    If both parties are in love and willing to "go the distance" it can work. But it takes determination.
  • youngborneo

    Posts: 1

    Apr 27, 2012 7:09 PM GMT
    I looking 4 true love long distern
  • Chadfromfw

    Posts: 34

    Apr 30, 2012 5:49 AM GMT
    I think starting out a relationship long-distance is hard and very stressful. If you start out nearby then move apart, it depends how close you were in the first place and how often you get to see each other.