First Date Do's and Don't's

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2008 6:14 PM GMT
    So I have been out for a little over a year now. And have gone on quite a few dates. This was the first time I've ever been dating period, and have learned some things on what works and doesn't work.

    I also want to hear the input of my fellow RJer's and their suggestions. What works for you?

    Do's:

    1) Be yourself
    2) Keep conversation's light hearted
    3) Have fun
    4) Be engaging
    5) Smile and be confident

    Dont's:

    1) If you are new, don't let them know. (scares people away)
    2) Don't act desperate
    3) Don't divulge too much history or drama
    4) Don't sleep together on first date
    5) Be available, but not too available



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2008 7:26 PM GMT
    sdn8 said
    Do's:

    1) Be yourself

    Dont's:

    1) If you are new, don't let them know. (scares people




    Okay... so if u wanna be yourself, you should probably let them know you're new ;) It's only fair. The one bad thing about being the unexperienced one is that the other one thinks of you as some silly boy, who doesn't know shit ... which isn't always true.

    I'd add one more Don't - say how much you love the person you're on a date with and how gorgeous he is. I think a simple "had a very nice time" is enough for a 1st date ;)
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    Jul 18, 2008 7:42 PM GMT
    don't get inebriated for obvious reasons and do arrive on time (for me, tardiness is a turn-OFF and says a lot about you)... if you must, keep your tardiness to a minimum and call to let him know
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2008 8:26 PM GMT
    Here's a don't:

    Do not cruise or hit on other guys while on a date. It is so distasteful.

    I've been out at a restaurant and have ascertained a gay couple on a date. When one left the table for the restroom, his date practically swooned over me. My thoughts: "so, if I date you and go to the bathroom you'll be cruising some other guy." Not cool.
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    Jul 18, 2008 8:56 PM GMT
    Don't get drunk, but I like to have a drink or two, to relax a bit.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2008 9:01 PM GMT
    Don't spend half the date texting someone else on your cell phone, or for that matter, talking on it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2008 9:12 PM GMT
    Dont spend the whole nite talking about urself.

    Do give me an idea of who u are and ask about me as well.

    Oh and do remember my name lol.
  • dhinkansas

    Posts: 764

    Jul 18, 2008 9:27 PM GMT
    Don't tell me how even though you are the same age as me (46) 20 something guys hit on you all the time and going out with someone over 30 is an exception, not the norm.
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    Jul 18, 2008 9:41 PM GMT
    Don't call until at least the evening after.

    thanks, I had a nice time, hope to see you again, generic non illicit complement, text message is acceptable but only one

    Do not expect a reply or make assumptions regarding his interest or lack off if he doesn't reply immediately
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2008 10:55 PM GMT
    fulldelight said
    sdn8 said
    Do's:

    1) Be yourself

    Dont's:

    1) If you are new, don't let them know. (scares people




    Okay... so if u wanna be yourself, you should probably let them know you're new ;) It's only fair. The one bad thing about being the unexperienced one is that the other one thinks of you as some silly boy, who doesn't know shit ... which isn't always true.

    I'd add one more Don't - say how much you love the person you're on a date with and how gorgeous he is. I think a simple "had a very nice time" is enough for a 1st date ;)


    Isn't the hypocrisy wonderful! But being new does scare off people and should be slipped into the divulging too much category.

    I have to agree on the compliment thing. I don't know why guys get turned off when you tell them how wonderful they are, but they do. I don't get turned off, but all the men who I've gone gaga for have totally disappeared and the only connection is that I told them how great they are (this did not even include 'love' stuff). Apparently that has to be said after moving in together? It's such bull. But oh well!

    Do - Bring money!

    Don't - Stay if he turns out to have lied about half the things on his profile. Some people think it's rude, but why should I stay. If it's not his pic or stats, you cant trust that the solid stuff discussed is true either. It's a lesson learned, and lies are the biggest turn off. So...Leave and send him a message about honesty!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 18, 2008 10:56 PM GMT
    AMT87 saidDon't call until at least the evening after.

    thanks, I had a nice time, hope to see you again, generic non illicit complement, text message is acceptable but only one

    Do not expect a reply or make assumptions regarding his interest or lack off if he doesn't reply immediately


    very good advice.
  • Squarejaw

    Posts: 1035

    Jul 19, 2008 12:30 AM GMT
    Don't fuck on the first date -- a blowjob on his doorstep is plenty.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Jul 19, 2008 12:35 AM GMT
    Don't fart
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2008 6:48 AM GMT
    looknrnd said
    Isn't the hypocrisy wonderful! But being new does scare off people and should be slipped into the divulging too much category.

    Well you can't really hide the truth icon_smile.gif Besides I think if you're new and out on a date with an experienced guy, he will probably know how uncomfortable you are. And I think it's better for him to think it's like that because you're new, and not because you're shy or simply... boring?

    People like to be told how great they are, but they also don't like people who say it all the time. Besides if one tells you're great it automatically makes him not-great, so... maybe that's the thing?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2008 6:52 AM GMT
    AMT87 saidgeneric non illicit complement

    Misspelling aside, what are you trying to say here?

    generic legal compliment???? ...huh?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2008 7:36 AM GMT
    Don't talk about your ex and how badly he treated you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2008 8:03 AM GMT
    Don't go to an Indian restaurant. LOLLLLL
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 19, 2008 9:12 AM GMT
    Do's:

    1) Be yourself
    2) Keep conversation's light hearted
    3) Have fun
    4) Be engaging
    5) Smile and be confident

    Dont's:

    1) If you are new, don't let them know. (scares people away)
    2) Don't act desperate
    3) Don't divulge too much history or drama
    4) Don't sleep together on first date
    5) Be available, but not too available


    I agree with much of what you said
    But I'd add
    Do:
    Ask at some point if he has a BF
    If the name "Tina" means anything else besides to him except Ms Turner
    icon_confused.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2008 12:35 AM GMT
    gq...tina????????


    aside from that though.... ima go see her in march!
    Am i gay?
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 20, 2008 10:12 AM GMT
    Fable saidgq...tina????????


    aside from that though.... ima go see her in march!
    Am i gay?


    crystal meth
    (crystal methamphetamine, tina, crystal meths, krank, tweak, ice)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2008 12:25 PM GMT
    Trust your 'gut' feelings.

    Unless your 'gut' has told you that the last ten guys you were out on a date with were all bad or all perfect.

    Listen carefully, but with positive cynicism (Don't hear only what you like and dismiss/ignore what you don't like).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2008 12:38 PM GMT
    Squarejaw saidDon't fuck on the first date -- a blowjob on his doorstep is plenty.


    In the gay world a blowjob is like a handshake... so end it with a kiss unless there won't be another date.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 20, 2008 12:44 PM GMT
    DO let people know that you are going... the day after talk about how the date went is sure to be fun, regardless of whether you had a good date or a bad one.

    DON'T see him again if you didn't have a good time.

    Hey, it's not the best advice, but it's stuff that I would pass on. Take it or leave it.
  • Csrobbie2000

    Posts: 359

    Jul 23, 2008 2:32 PM GMT
    Do not do the boring usual "dinner" or "coffee". Do something different such as going for a hike, bowling, checking out an art museum together, or even a walk in the park, etc.
  • DiverScience

    Posts: 1426

    Jul 23, 2008 2:37 PM GMT
    Show the fuck up. Unless your mother died, go. And if you really do have to cancel, CALL HIM, and this means BEFORE he's already at the meeting point.