sharing my feelings about the opposite sex

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 27, 2012 12:50 AM GMT
    I had dated many women since I was in my early 30's , I could say around 30-40, but never slept with them. I found them to be good friends but never looked at them in a lustful sexual way. Any other guy would have had sex with them.

    I know hetrosexual guys who are not picky and they don't care about looks but just want to get laid. But anyways back to me. So I am okay with women, but they all played me all this time, games that really wasted my time, money and energy and yes emotions to an extend. So everything else other than sex was how I related to them but got burned so many times.

    I also burned the ones that I wanted to, simply because I lost interest or found them to be clingy. Regardless my family upbringing was that, you don't have sex until your married. I can not say I agree with it, but that is the mentality or was my families who brought me up.

    So now that I am in my 40's I am still to find women attractive, which I have not, I mean give me angelina joley and I would sleep with her but not many chicks that I know are pretty these days. Even if they are, their attitude makes me want to run away.

    So bottom line, I am not sexually attracted to women because I was always turned off by them, again their games mostly. Yes not being sexually attracted to them has a role in it too.

    My question is, this confusion that I feel is it because I have not meet the right girl? I have had relationships with guys but nothing deep either that I can say that I am totally on their camp either. All my guy relationships have ended too.

    Somehow I feel lost and with all the pressures from family and society about getting married, time and time again I wonder if it is me or what happened to me in the past that molded my thinking this way. I believe I have not meet the one I love regardless of their sexuality.


  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    Apr 27, 2012 3:26 AM GMT
    I think after dating 30 or 40 women, it seems unlikely you're going to find one that you're interested in. You're a guy - it's pretty easy to tell what/who you're attracted to, but you're the only one who knows what makes your trigger happy.
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    Apr 27, 2012 4:06 AM GMT
    You sound like a typical introvert, in that you're happier living by yourself than with someone else. Try dating a guy who is also an introvert and lives by himself.

    In my experience, being an introvert is automatic doom when it comes to live-in relationships because you're always wanting more "me" time, which simply doesn't happen when someone is there all the time.
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    Apr 27, 2012 4:32 AM GMT
    I dunno guy. You seem way more F'd up than any advice anyone could give here. Seek professional help. But if you want my opinion, you are a homosexual (why else would you be on this site?) who can't accept himself because of his culture, religion, and family pressures and you are using women as the scapegoat for not being able to seal the deal with one.

    So you can keep lying to yourself and stay exactly where you have been for the past 40 years or you can get into therapy quickly and move forward with your life.
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    Apr 27, 2012 5:37 AM GMT
    you all make sense, there is a lot to think about here. Yes I am an introvert, never thought of it this way. However i did become friends with an introvert guy and it was a disaster.

    I think the comment about being F* up was not really true. I have very high expectations and after seeing both my brothers marriages and my own parents doomed, regular fighting and arguments and seeing how unhappy they all are and always complaining about their partners, it makes me not want to seek any relationship within the marriage institution. Many of my friends marriages failed too and they are left with broken hearts and families, with kids who are just as confused and devastated.

    I think it is not about being gay or straight, it is about me being afraid of commitment and being trapped in a relationship. Sexuality is a small part of relationships.
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    Apr 27, 2012 6:00 AM GMT
    From what I'm reading, I think that if you aren't introverted and if you're still in your 40s and not whacking it to the peen/poon, you're probably either asexual or demisexual. Demisexuality is defined as where you need to have a deep emotional connection in order to be attracted to someone.
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    Apr 27, 2012 6:14 AM GMT
    no gurlz allowed on RJ...even in discussion.

    BOYZ KLUB
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    Apr 27, 2012 9:08 AM GMT
    waccamatt saidI think after dating 30 or 40 women, it seems unlikely you're going to find one that you're interested in. You're a guy - it's pretty easy to tell what/who you're attracted to, but you're the only one who knows what makes your trigger happy.


    Wise words Waccamatt!
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    Apr 27, 2012 3:42 PM GMT
    I think you hit it on the nail, I am demisexual.
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    May 02, 2012 5:59 PM GMT
    They are there but sometimes when you have this luck called "lady luck!" its speaks alot and knowing it and how to use it wisely, you must have that smartly appreciation of them don't just fall in love when you are not destine! Throughout my life I have always notice ladies of any females they are the ones will help me out in life. Just as as my placement now with all females they are the one who are coaching me in every single way. when you have this "Lady Luck!" always appreciate them don't spill feelings that's misusing that bond. Destiny is there only how you clear it with that windy cloudy mind its you! Think Bright-fully dont simply try or fall of what others are & around you. Its your true-self of knowing you THAT YOU! that's when all the right kingdom will fall into place! icon_wink.gif
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    May 02, 2012 6:07 PM GMT
    JPtheBITCH said
    graphicabc saidI think you hit it on the nail, I am demisexual.

    What the hell does that mean? That you want to have sex with Demi Moore?


    No one wants to have sex with present-day Demi Moore. You'd cut yourself on an elbow or hipbone.