Difficult in topping? Anyone relate?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2012 6:57 AM GMT
    Soooo, I use to suffer a condition called TMS, it's getting off abnormally by masturbating differently, thus damaging the nerves in your dick. I'm recovered alot, as I can wank n stuff now. However... I still can't finish when topping and don't enjoy oral sex and it can be hard to get off sometimes still? My partner hates bottoming, so that probably doesn't help, but it's just tight and hurts even with heaps of lube and patience, but it just doesn't feel like anything... Is this normal? Can all guys get off on top or am I just broken haha?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2012 7:03 AM GMT
    I'm now suffering from a condition called TMI.
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    Apr 29, 2012 7:06 AM GMT
    Yeah, I have all kinds of difficulty in topping. Baking the cake is easy, but getting the topping to look and taste right is a huge challenge.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2012 2:43 PM GMT
    cold saidI'm now suffering from a condition called TMI.


    Hahahaha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2012 2:46 PM GMT
    anal sex is bad for you.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19136

    Apr 29, 2012 2:48 PM GMT
    cold saidI'm now suffering from a condition called TMI.



    It must be contagious because suddenly I have come down with that too icon_eek.gif
  • dj12

    Posts: 55

    Apr 29, 2012 3:06 PM GMT
    How would you masturbate?
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    Apr 29, 2012 3:12 PM GMT
    iLikeDC saidanal sex is bad for you.
    icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2012 3:23 PM GMT
    dj12How would you masturbate?


    I'm curious about that myself.icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2012 3:32 PM GMT
    cold saidI'm now suffering from a condition called TMI.


    icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2012 3:32 PM GMT
    iLikeDC saidanal sex is bad for you.


    mmmmmmmkay
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2012 5:20 PM GMT
    iLikeDC saidanal sex is bad for you.


    A hearty welcome for the guy from the g0y corner. icon_rolleyes.gif

    For the OP:

    Get used to bottoming. Especially if the BF hates getting his fudge stirred.
  • metta

    Posts: 39138

    Apr 29, 2012 5:29 PM GMT
    I actually feel that you did not give us enough information. I did a quick google search.


    Transcranial magnetic stimulation

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transcranial_magnetic_stimulation



    If you don't enjoy it then don't do it. If you do get enjoyment out of it, then keep doing it. Don't worry about finishing. Just do what works for you, that you enjoy and is safe. I would think that it would probably be easier to figure this stuff out with a bf than w/ hookups. And I would hope that a bf would be more understanding.

    Sometimes I feel like I'm visiting elementary school on RJ. ;) Obviously, the OP's question is an important legitimate concern for him. I think that a lot of guys are uncomfortable taking about problems with the penis so they try to divert the conversation rather than try to say anything that might be helpful.
  • confidentcrip

    Posts: 111

    Apr 29, 2012 5:37 PM GMT
    cold saidI'm now suffering from a condition called TMI.


    cold.... but hilarious....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2012 5:45 PM GMT
    andrewstkitts001 said
    cold saidI'm now suffering from a condition called TMI.


    cold.... but hilarious....



    icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2012 5:52 PM GMT
    andrewstkitts001 said
    cold saidI'm now suffering from a condition called TMI.


    cold.... but hilarious....

    hahahahahahahaha
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    Apr 29, 2012 8:14 PM GMT
    Kristoff saidSoooo, I use to suffer a condition called TMS, it's getting off abnormally by masturbating differently, thus damaging the nerves in your dick. I'm recovered alot, as I can wank n stuff now. However... I still can't finish when topping and don't enjoy oral sex and it can be hard to get off sometimes still? My partner hates bottoming, so that probably doesn't help, but it's just tight and hurts even with heaps of lube and patience, but it just doesn't feel like anything... Is this normal? Can all guys get off on top or am I just broken haha?



    no problem getting off from topping, but everyone is different. Not everyone's triggers are the same when cumming. It's not about normal, it's about what works for YOU.

    Also, there's a certain component of prep when you bottom (not just the cleanliness part), lube and patience are definite, but there's also just practice. it is not always going to go smoothly the first few times, but that doesn't mean you don't keep trying.

    And for the patience part, be patient with yourself in general. The anxiety from pressuring yourself to bottom properly is counterproductive, and it makes what can be a fun activity into a chore (and thus, a bore). Not sure what you and your partner do, but perhaps you can integrate other kinds of play before/during the part where you bottom (i.e. kissing while you guide him inside, etc)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2012 10:32 AM GMT
    Traumatic Masturbatory syndrome. It's not common, it's self inflicted from an early age, crushing your penis basically.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2012 11:19 AM GMT
    Ok! I may be setting myself up for some humiliating treatment from some of the posters here. But, what is TMI?icon_redface.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2012 11:26 AM GMT
    cold saidI'm now suffering from a condition called TMI.


    icon_lol.gif
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    Apr 30, 2012 11:52 AM GMT
    I agree with Metta8. There is nothing that says you must finish (ejaculate) while topping your partner during anal sex. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves with the attitude of "Look Ma, no hands!" as if all big boys do is fuck and cum, and our dicks are these independent beings.

    if you have a good partner, a boyfriend who is your friend, who is understanding, and whom you like, then why don't you both just relax, and take anal fucking off the table for a while? have sex play that ranges from kissing, oral, rimming, wrestling, hugging, mutual masturbation, anything thats hot and where you just play together. if you cum/ejaculate, then great. but if not, then so be it.

    you're not broken. but you don't need the additional performance anxiety that comes with the expectation that if you're naked, you must shoot a load in order for it to be worthwhile or successful sex. sex is an intimate interaction between you and your partner - thats what's meaningful about it - not how you ejaculate.

    don't listen to some of the dickhead comments here. people can be dumb, or perhaps you didn't write very clearly what was going on with you, but people could demonstrate a bit of intelligence by reading between the lines.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2012 12:27 PM GMT
    p.s. i like your crazy hair. i wish i had the patience to grow mine
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 30, 2012 12:45 PM GMT
    Martin_Maros saidOk! I may be setting myself up for some humiliating treatment from some of the posters here. But, what is TMI?icon_redface.gif



    too much information
  • metta

    Posts: 39138

    Apr 30, 2012 3:41 PM GMT
    Kristoff saidTraumatic Masturbatory syndrome. It's not common, it's self inflicted from an early age, crushing your penis basically.


    I have never heard of this before. Very interesting. There is a lot more detail here:

    http://www.healthystrokes.com/
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    Apr 30, 2012 7:34 PM GMT
    kingmo saidI agree with Metta8. There is nothing that says you must finish (ejaculate) while topping your partner during anal sex. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves with the attitude of "Look Ma, no hands!" as if all big boys do is fuck and cum, and our dicks are these independent beings.

    if you have a good partner, a boyfriend who is your friend, who is understanding, and whom you like, then why don't you both just relax, and take anal fucking off the table for a while? have sex play that ranges from kissing, oral, rimming, wrestling, hugging, mutual masturbation, anything thats hot and where you just play together. if you cum/ejaculate, then great. but if not, then so be it.

    you're not broken. but you don't need the additional performance anxiety that comes with the expectation that if you're naked, you must shoot a load in order for it to be worthwhile or successful sex. sex is an intimate interaction between you and your partner - thats what's meaningful about it - not how you ejaculate.

    don't listen to some of the dickhead comments here. people can be dumb, or perhaps you didn't write very clearly what was going on with you, but people could demonstrate a bit of intelligence by reading between the lines.


    Great advice.