Seeing a lot of posts about failing long term relationships...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2012 7:37 AM GMT
    It's there and it's not impossible. I think it's what most of us want with the right person and at the right time. Don't give up. Nothing worth fighting for came easy right?

    Here's just a little bit of inspiration:

    "Dad and Papa"
    4CbQ0.jpg

    The reward at the end is just too awesome.

    Need more? Here's my source of inspiration.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2012 2:18 PM GMT
    Ah, the risk of getting hurt...
  • Puppy80

    Posts: 451

    Apr 29, 2012 3:04 PM GMT
    Thanks for that link MtnRider It made me melt into a puddle.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2012 4:14 PM GMT
    I have a slightly different take on "the right person". I think there are a lot of guys who could be matches for us if we could learn to deal with their flaws and they could learn to be patient with ours. The more we experience, the more confident we become and when you're confident, you aren't as easily threatened. You find that there are a lot of guys who could be "right for you" or vice versa. The question is, are they right for you right now? The answer for many of us is "no", not because of their flaws, but because of ours.
  • Smiling_Eyes

    Posts: 197

    Apr 29, 2012 5:09 PM GMT
    Brownale saidI have a slightly different take on "the right person". I think there are a lot of guys who could be matches for us if we could learn to deal with their flaws and they could learn to be patient with ours. The more we experience, the more confident we become and when you're confident, you aren't as easily threatened. You find that there are a lot of guys who could be "right for you" or vice versa. The question is, are they right for you right now? The answer for many of us is "no", not because of their flaws, but because of ours.


    Well said!

    I'm a polyamorous guy in Toronto. If I had a nickel for every time I was having a great conversation with a guy online who wouldn't meet me because I was partnered, I'd be super rich!

    Now I'm not stupid; I get that single guys want their own man - someone they can build a future with, date, bring home to mom etc. In many European countries, having multiple life partners is accepted and part of social norm constructs. In North America, polyamory remains a fringe, unaccepted minority. Being gay and polyamorous is like looking for a needle in 100 haystacks.

    Now if I were single and I had a connection with someone online who was attached and open to dating me because he was poly, I'd admit that I'd hesitate. I'd suss out what he was really after and might get to know him a bit more before agreeing to meet. But I wouldn't close that door. Because that attached man I am connecting with, may be "one" of those guys I can really love who can really love me back.
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    Apr 29, 2012 5:43 PM GMT
    Picture. Is. Soooo. Cute.
  • Smiling_Eyes

    Posts: 197

    Apr 29, 2012 5:53 PM GMT
    mizzouguy10 said
    Smiling_Eyes said
    Brownale saidI have a slightly different take on "the right person". I think there are a lot of guys who could be matches for us if we could learn to deal with their flaws and they could learn to be patient with ours. The more we experience, the more confident we become and when you're confident, you aren't as easily threatened. You find that there are a lot of guys who could be "right for you" or vice versa. The question is, are they right for you right now? The answer for many of us is "no", not because of their flaws, but because of ours.


    Well said!

    I'm a polyamorous guy in Toronto. If I had a nickel for every time I was having a great conversation with a guy online who wouldn't meet me because I was partnered, I'd be super rich!

    Now I'm not stupid; I get that single guys want their own man - someone they can build a future with, date, bring home to mom etc. In many European countries, having multiple life partners is accepted and part of social norm constructs. In North America, polyamory remains a fringe, unaccepted minority. Being gay and polyamorous is like looking for a needle in 100 haystacks.

    Now if I were single and I had a connection with someone online who was attached and open to dating me because he was poly, I'd admit that I'd hesitate. I'd suss out what he was really after and might get to know him a bit more before agreeing to meet. But I wouldn't close that door. Because that attached man I am connecting with, may be "one" of those guys I can really love who can really love me back.


    Don't try to put gay and polyamorous in the same category, that's a little offensive.

    You have inherent qualities: Gender, Sexual Attraction, Race, Age, Ethnic Background

    And then you have chosen qualities: Religion, Nazism, Being Polyamorous, Political Affiliation


    With due respect, I think you're the one being offensive!

    Just as being gay is not a choice, there are those of us that are not geared towards one partner. For us polyamory is also not a choice but an orientation. I don't expect you to understand this but you're hate is vulgar!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 29, 2012 6:00 PM GMT
    Smiling_Eyes, I don't think you put gay and polyamorous in the same category.
    You simply said that some gays are polyamorous, and it's true. Some straights are polyamorous. Some BIs are polyamorous.

    I think if we are all allowed to simply be who we are without acrimony, then there is less misunderstanding, less presumption and assumption, and far, far fewer broken hearts.

    kind regards,

    -Doug




  • Smiling_Eyes

    Posts: 197

    Apr 29, 2012 6:12 PM GMT
    meninlove said Smiling_Eyes, I don't think you put gay and polyamorous in the same category.
    You simply said that some gays are polyamorous, and it's true. Some straights are polyamorous. Some BIs are polyamorous.

    I think if we are all allowed to simply be who we are without acrimony, then there is less misunderstanding, less presumption and assumption, and far, far fewer broken hearts.

    kind regards,

    -Doug






    Right with you Doug. Thank you!
  • dancedancekj

    Posts: 1761

    Apr 29, 2012 6:46 PM GMT
    Thanks for the encouragement OP! You're right. Humans are social beings in the end, and that interpersonal connection is something we all intrinsically crave - although some have experiences that make them hesitant or outright against pursuing any sort of romantic relationship.