Brownale saidI have a slightly different take on "the right person". I think there are a lot of guys who could be matches for us if we could learn to deal with their flaws and they could learn to be patient with ours. The more we experience, the more confident we become and when you're confident, you aren't as easily threatened. You find that there are a lot of guys who could be "right for you" or vice versa. The question is, are they right for you right now? The answer for many of us is "no", not because of their flaws, but because of ours.
I'm a polyamorous guy in Toronto. If I had a nickel for every time I was having a great conversation with a guy online who wouldn't meet me because I was partnered, I'd be super rich!
Now I'm not stupid; I get that single guys want their own man - someone they can build a future with, date, bring home to mom etc. In many European countries, having multiple life partners is accepted and part of social norm constructs. In North America, polyamory remains a fringe, unaccepted minority. Being gay and polyamorous is like looking for a needle in 100 haystacks.
Now if I were single and I had a connection with someone online who was attached and open to dating me because he was poly, I'd admit that I'd hesitate. I'd suss out what he was really after and might get to know him a bit more before agreeing to meet. But I wouldn't close that door. Because that attached man I am connecting with, may be "one" of those guys I can really love who can really love me back.