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Would you date someone who make less than you? For example, you make good money and got a house, and you meet a guy who is making less than you and is renting a studio apartment. Would that be a problem?

Answer to the first question: Yes
Answer to the second question: No

Basically, socioeconomic status won't matter to me.

Socioeconomic status doesn't matter, but it doesn't mean that it is unimportant. It does take a lot of time and work for people from different backgrounds to get used to each other.

People that I have been with in my life who came from a different background than I seem to have had a bigger problem with socioeconomic status than I have (in other words I might not have cared at all, but they certainly did).

It helps if people are smart and flexible (on both ends).

Terry

My answer is I don't care if a guy lives in a studio apt. and has a lower paying job. Think of the numbers of great guys you would be missing out on if you held out for only a limited group of guys within your same socioeconomic sphere. I mean, there are always pre-nups if it gets serous! hahahahaha!

Jockbod48 saidMy answer is I don't care if a guy lives in a studio apt. and has a lower paying job. Think of the numbers of great guys you would be missing out on if you held out for only a limited group of guys within your same socioeconomic sphere. I mean, there are always pre-nups if it gets serous! hahahahaha!

Maybe too that lower paying job keeps him in super hot shape too... agree with above. Plus anyone would get bored with the same crowd every day at every party, etc... Money... just another meaningless number [used to label] as long as you are happy and getting by!

PRDGUY saidMaybe too that lower paying job keeps him in super hot shape too...

Oh my gosh, that is sooo true! I often jokingly answer when I am asked* how do I manage to keep myself in shape --I say "Poverty". Which is partly true as accommodation is more of a priority than food, for my status.

*by former school mates of mine who I reconnected with recently after not seeing even a picture of them in the last 20 years or so!

You know, if money's an issue for either partner, beware. Love can take all forms, but if he's intimidated, he'll have difficulty feeling worthy, and that'll breed resentment.

Or, worst case scenario, and I've seen this: he's broke and always asking for money, help with bills, that sort of thing. You may find him to be a drain on your resources.

But, if you can be a sugar daddy, go for it.

For me, it's not how much a potential mate makes, but being self-sufficient. I don't want someone that lives beyond his means!

I would never date money.

I actually struggle because my guy makes more!

silly question in a way, every other person you meet either makes more or less than yourself, I own, but many people of means rent, so ownership defines nothing in a way related to the question. no judgement here, but perpetuating silly ideas

No it wouldn't matter.

I can only see it being a problem if the guy was straight up broke. I am very good with my money and I like to treat my self to nice things and go nice places. Someone who was not able to go certain places or do certain things i would not allow them to limit me.

But at the same time, I wouldn't not be friends with them or not give them a chance, but its not fair to someone who CAN afford more out of life to feel put out because the person they are with cannot share in that lifestyle. It's a two way street.

I want to travel one day so if my partner can't afford that i'm not going to put that off. I think as long as the other person tries to make a living as much as possible and is a hard worker it shows good character. If the guys a lazy ass then move along.

i would date someone who doesnt make as much as me and i would date someone who makes more than me.

however, i do think that although it is not the most important part of a relationship, i do think that does play a role. if one partner makes significantly less than the other and one person is much further ahead in their career and financial goals than the other, i think that if we speak with honesty we can say that it might cause a problem. people can tend to become insecure or even jealous. i think that it could also limit some of the things that u might want to do as a couple because of cost restraints which can cause tension. But like anything in a relationship, if you really care and love the person, you will make it work.

I don't think it would matter so much with dating for fun, but dating with the idea of LTR - those guys that would interest me probably are making decent money just based on their intellect and drive.

I've been in love twice and when in those two relationships the socioeconomic difference between us didn't matter at all.

In a couple of my more casual dating relationships, the fact that I made more money seemed to be a mildly, bothersome issue at times.

In sum, it's never been the deal-breaker.

It is a factor for me. I would date someone from a lower socio-economic status as long as they didn't fall into the cultural trappings of that class. I couldn't date someone who was poorly educated, loved Jebus, and operated a still. But I couldn't date a super-rich guy who was the trust-fund Paris Hilton sort. Money isn't the issue, culture is.

lol

finances happens to be one of the top three reasons couples don't make it...so...

NO - no problem with someone making less than I do if they REALLY love their job...there are some really good people doing really good work...making really shitty salaries...

I would probably take issue if our financial values were different...[i.e. what you do with your money]...I tend to like people who can "hold their own" in a relationship...so, if I'm paying for everything...that might be an issue...

- David

I used to think socioeconomic status didn't matter until I dated a very wealthy man.

I grew up middle class, thus was never introduced to the different social environments the wealthy encounter. I had difficulty finding common ground in these situations.

This man showered me with gifts(that i repeatedly asked to stop), preferred to eat a higher end establishments and shop at high end retailers.

Although, he did not judge or persuade me to live his lifestyle, I compromised to do some things he enjoyed. The simple act of eating out with bills of $200, left little in the wallet.
I'm one that insists on carrying my own weight in
a relationship and this was just too expensive and stressful to maintain.


Theoretically it doesn't matter but as a realist...yes it does.

The answer is wrapped up in WHY he's renting a studio apt

If he's working and just has a low paying job?
Absolutely, I'd date him
But if he's renting a studio apt because most of his money is going toward other things? Like drugs maybe
or clothes that he can't afford?
that tells me something of his character and then the answer is no

MunchingZombie saidIt is a factor for me. I would date someone from a lower socio-economic status as long as they didn't fall into the cultural trappings of that class. I couldn't date someone who was poorly educated, loved Jebus, and operated a still. But I couldn't date a super-rich guy who was the trust-fund Paris Hilton sort. Money isn't the issue, culture is.

I have to say, my jaw dropped reading that

I think how guys handle their finances would be a bigger issue than the amount of money they make.

I would probably have no problem dating a guy who makes less money then me. But maybe I will if he makes more ...

I sort of agree with what MunchingZombie said. Sometimes socioeconomic status DOES effect people...

Lapinblanc saidI think how guys handle their finances would be a bigger issue than the amount of money they make.

whoa i didn't read his post LOL i agree with lapinblanc... what would matter to me is how he treats his money. if he's cheap like me, we'll prolly get along juuuust fine

Socioeconomic status = similar background.

My 49 years have taught me I would probably have a better chance with a guy who has been to college, is making enough to be reasonably comfortable, hasn't been married or a parent, has dropped acid/shrooms/etc. at least once, . . .

But exceptions are allowed.

Charlie

Whether my guy makes more or less than me, money becomes an issue for me if we find ourselves thinking about it, and when it eventually affects the way we deal with other as a couple.

I'm going to go against the grain here and say that socioeconomic status is important. I mean, obviously one shouldn't not date someone because of how much money they make, but I think problems can arise if you both aren't on the same wavelength.

Granted, socioeconomic status doesn't just mean wealth; it can also be spending habits, etc.

clarksdale97 saidWould you date someone who make less than you? For example, you make good money and got a house, and you meet a guy who is making less than you and is renting a studio apartment. Would that be a problem?

At one time I was that guy who was making shockingly little money and lived in a small one bedroom apartment with two roommates. I don't think that made me a bad guy, nor one that should be excluded from dating someone more established.

Silly question.

I'm more interested in someone's character. Sometimes bad character leads to a lower socioeconomic status, but there's not always that correlation.

I don't let someone's socioeconomic status bother me at all. Short of someone being homeless or too rich to see me as a human being, I could date anyone; though artist and business minded types are my favorites they're not a prerequisite at all.

I dated a guy with credit card problems....


It is embarrassing to hear the word declined, to be told your being treated to dinner and then having to pay for it, be be invited out to drinks with his work friends, people that you didn't really like and realize you're simply there because it's the end of the month and your card will go through when it's our turn to buy drinks.

He was actually making more than me but throwing it all away.


I vowed never again to go out with someone in a similar position.

clarksdale97 saidWould you date someone who make less than you? For example, you make good money and got a house, and you meet a guy who is making less than you and is renting a studio apartment. Would that be a problem?

Yes and yes. I have yet to date a man who's financially better off than myself. The disparity between my and my ex's incomes has varied greatly but I unequivocally believe it can divide a relationship. Connections supposedly transcend trivial matter like socioeconomic statuses. Nevertheless, if they're too extreme, they can implant secretive jealousies, insecurities, and actuate ensconced preconceptions about one another's status. Of course I'm solely speaking on personal experiences but I've witnessed it become an issue more times than not. Am I suggesting one should only pursue a man within his bracketed personal income range? No, but I advise weariness when it comes to such matters as these.... everyone's view of money is vastly different...

Yes - I have; and actually, I married someone who makes a lot less than I do. We have similar backgrounds though - blue collar/military.

Yes - there are issues you have to deal with in a case like that; you can't really just ignore the 500# gorilla at the head of the table. Nevertheless, it can be worked out very successfully.

I'm half and half on the subject.

I would normally say that money doesn't matter, but my last 2 relationships were with people that worked full-time but I always ended up paying for everything since they couldn't handle their money. So learning from experience I'd say that I would date them, but only if bumping into them after they'd spent half their pay check in one afternoon wasn't a common occurance.

Finally that wouldn't be a problem. It's his life and he can live it how he sees fit, if that's a problem then we shouldn't be together.

Out of all the people that I know that make nearly 6 figures or who actually do I only know one out of all of them that originally came from a financially lower class family. He worked hard to go to Yale and is now married to a female friend of mine. He does very well for himself. I take my hat off to him.
But most people that make good money now come from parents who made good money. Basically, people usually wind up being an extension of their parents in terms of financial wealth. You rarely see someone come from a family where the parents made 40K or less with combining their incomes to eventually see their children making 150K when they reach adulthood.
Up until recently I was doing reasonably well for myself. But due to health issues that has changed a bit for the time being. But I just wanted to say that it does matter. It matters to the majority of guys and girls. I tend not to believe that most of you are purporting that it doesn't matter to you. It's like 90% of you are of the same opinion. But in real life 90% of guys are the opposite and so shallow.
What's the first thing most people ask you when they first meet you and show interest? It's, "So what do you do for a living?" That tells you right there that he wants to know if you're a dentist, a doctor or a lawyer. And if it "matters" to him he's going to cling on to you. But tell that same person you work for sanitation of your city, a cashier at Wendy's, etc and see how fast that person will find an excuse to escape your presence.

muchmorethanmuscle said
What's the first thing most people ask you when they first meet you and show interest? It's, "So what do you do for a living?" That tells you right there that he wants to know if you're a dentist, a doctor or a lawyer.

OR...they could be interested in whatever you spend (more than) 1/3 of your time doing each week. ;)

I don't care how much money a guy makes, as long as he is content, self-sufficient, and responsible. I've already been in a relationship with someone who is financially irresponsible...and am still paying off that debt.

I am going to be interested in what someone does for a living, but I'm going to care more that you enjoy what you do, rather than how much money you make.

I don't make a lot of money, but I love my job, my debt is under control, and I'm content.

MunchingZombie saidIt is a factor for me. I would date someone from a lower socio-economic status as long as they didn't fall into the cultural trappings of that class. I couldn't date someone who was poorly educated, loved Jebus, and operated a still. But I couldn't date a super-rich guy who was the trust-fund Paris Hilton sort. Money isn't the issue, culture is.

Interesting.

But Paris is not well educated. She may well of went to a good school, but she is not educated; not sure if shes even smart. But hay shes a trust-fun kid. She does not have to be.

My Grand pa, never really went to school, but he died with a shit load of assets, lots of land, and stuff; old money.

I get to spend $60 on my (to go USA) take Away lunch, 3 to 4 days a week, and live in an exclusive part of town. I never went to high School, but did Uni. So Would one call Oneself educated?

Would I? One would think it would depend on the individual. One of my bf's comes from a Irish peasant catholic background, and the other, a privileged athiest Russian background.

AMT87 said
It is embarrassing to hear the word declined, to be told your being treated to dinner and then having to pay for it

LOL, that happened to me just last week. Not on a date, just a friend who took me out as a thank you for a favor I did. I knew he might be in trouble when he didn't want to put a tip on his card, but left cash instead. Then the server came back and said his card was declined. So I ended up having to pay for my own thank you dinner, as well as covering his.

But it happens. At least I'm not the guy that loaned a friend his car and got it back totalled.

MikePhil said

MunchingZombie saidIt is a factor for me. I would date someone from a lower socio-economic status as long as they didn't fall into the cultural trappings of that class. I couldn't date someone who was poorly educated, loved Jebus, and operated a still. But I couldn't date a super-rich guy who was the trust-fund Paris Hilton sort. Money isn't the issue, culture is.

I have to say, my jaw dropped reading that

Why?

Yes, I would date someone who makes less than me.

Not much of a problem or hang up here.

QUOTE AUTHOR GOES HEREIt is a factor for me. I would date someone from a lower socio-economic status as long as they didn't fall into the cultural trappings of that class. I couldn't date someone who was poorly educated, loved Jebus, and operated a still. But I couldn't date a super-rich guy who was the trust-fund Paris Hilton sort. Money isn't the issue, culture is.

This is offensive because saying that there are "cultural trappings" based on income is untrue.

People who are non-business-minded creatives will never make a dime. Also keep in mind that we undervalue a lot of jobs here in America -- social workers and teachers (depending on district) will never make a dime, but people who sell pharmaceuticals will (no offensive to anyone who does, it's as respectable as most jobs).

And I'd much rather date creative and/or good-hearted guys than most guys out there. Also, they tend to be the most well-read and least bible-thumping.

So the answer to the initial question is a big resounding YES from me.

MunchingZombie said

MikePhil said

MunchingZombie saidIt is a factor for me. I would date someone from a lower socio-economic status as long as they didn't fall into the cultural trappings of that class. I couldn't date someone who was poorly educated, loved Jebus, and operated a still. But I couldn't date a super-rich guy who was the trust-fund Paris Hilton sort. Money isn't the issue, culture is.

I have to say, my jaw dropped reading that

Why?

Can I abstain from answering that, as I do not wish to offend

Oh.........OK.........I'll answer.

I think it is very offencive, and I did not think you were the kind of guy that would think like that.

No offence meant

Mike

Depends what they're doing and where they're at. If they're working towards something then the lower socioeconomic thing is fine. I do like ambition in people, and not all wealthy people have that. There are plenty of wealthy useless types who have families/parents/partners who bankroll their lives.

MikePhil saidCan I abstain from answering that, as I do not wish to offend

Oh.........OK.........I'll answer.

I think it is very offencive, and I did not think you were the kind of guy that would think like that.

No offence meant

Mike

No offense taken. I stand by what I said. I cannot connect with a guy who's cultural world is filled with NASCAR and mega-churches. Money is not the issue.

You cannot say money is not an issue when you are discriminating against people of lower socioeconomic status, a big part of which is determined by INCOME.

So by saying that socioeconomic status is an issue, you are saying that you would not date people who make much less than you. And your reasoning? Oh, all those people like NASCAR and are fundamentalists. Wrong -- uh, yeah, stereotyping is not good buddy.

There are intelligent and cultured individuals everywhere who are at the fringes of society -- maybe by choice maybe not -- who do not have what would be considered prestigious careers.

Also, in the workplace I've run into two religious crazies and both were clearly white collar management -- I know for a fact that each made over $100K a year.

"Smart and cultured" is not synonymous with "rich and prestigious."

Greg, did you read the initial post I made that Mike was responding to?

Yes, but I didn't necessarily refresh my memory of it.

However, you're still stereotyping and should not be making sweeping discriminatory generalizations based on socioeconomic status.

A person's income and job title certainly don't tell you anything about them. There are too many gray variables involved to be able to say "Hey that guy's a garbage man making $25,000, he likes NASCAR and is a religious freak and isn't well read." Or even "Hey, that guy's a doctor, he certainly doesn't watch Larry the Cable Guy and make racist comments and beat his partner in the name of Jesus."

Or whatever.

Education is also somewhat irrelevant. While I agree that less educated people SOMETIMES tend to feel out of place or awkward when people discuss literary theory or hydrology (or whatever), many people just need the benefit of the doubt. Never doubt people's capabilities and willingness to change. Many people WANT change in their lives, but opportunities are not readily available to them.

So much is circumstantial when discussing an individual's current place in society: Do not judge based on this.

Ah, in my initial post I said I would only not date people who fell into the cultural trappings of their class. Which is certainly not everyone. So it isn't stereotyping everyone of that class. To use your examples, I said that I would date the garbage man who doesn't like NASCAR, is an atheist, and is well read.

I don't think you're trying to be ignorant or anything. But your initial post soured a few of us for good reason.

I guess this general question still remains: If you are willing to be proven wrong over 50 percent of the time (which I'm telling you you would be), why judge prospective partners on this level?

Proven wrong on what? I am not sure what the general question you are talking about it.

If the general question is "would you date someone who makes less than you" I have said I would.

Proven wrong on your assumption that guys of lower socioeconomic status are not cultured, articulate, decent people.

Why say: "Socioeconomic status is a factor"?

I did not assume that of people of that status. I did say there is a culture of that class. I also said that people of that class need not identify with that culture. And I most certainly did not assume that people of a lower socioeconomic status are uncultured, inarticulate, indecent people.

You are assuming by assigning a bs "culture" to their class.

Also, your depiction of that class' culture is incorrect and you will be proven wrong most of the time. Or maybe you will be proven right by seeing what you want to see and moving on without giving them a chance.

It's still mystifying to me as to why you would want to judge on this material level.

And I will stand by my claim that you are making a sweeping generalization. Which is not so good.

You are being haughty. Judge on an individual basis.

You aren't even reading what I am writing anymore.

Have fun with the thread.

I'm just trying to make you think.

Sure I'm jumping to conclusions, but they're conclusions anyone could make when you outright state that socioeconomic status is a factor for you.

And they're especially conclusions anyone could make when you're as bold as to insinuate that there is some dominant "culture" of a lower class. Sort of writes people off no?

I Couldn't Have Said It Better MySelf Cookie!



Disclosure 1




I'm single, I'm horny, and I'm human. The only answer I can give to a question like that is yes!! Of course I would date someone who is less fortunate then me. I've met several really hot guys who were dirt broke and just about living on the streets. Dating them didn't always come easily. People who are less fortunate don't usually trust or even accept people who are better off than themselves. In many cases they will try to avoid you or disrespect your kindness by taking advantage of your interest in them usually by ripping you off or physically and sexually assaulting you. A few words of advice Please Be Careful!!


-Bobbyb

Ugh...Bobby, I couldn't watch more than 4 seconds of "Cookie."

What is her basic message?

Gay guys in general live well beyond their means (not all, but many). So it's hard to tell somebody's SE status based on first impressions.

Honestly? I dont know if I would date somebody poor. It's never happened. I imagine it would be hard finding things to do when you don't have enough money. Plus being wealthy gives you freedom to do almost anything, at any time. I dont think I could give that up.

MikePhil said

MunchingZombie said

MikePhil said

MunchingZombie saidIt is a factor for me. I would date someone from a lower socio-economic status as long as they didn't fall into the cultural trappings of that class. I couldn't date someone who was poorly educated, loved Jebus, and operated a still. But I couldn't date a super-rich guy who was the trust-fund Paris Hilton sort. Money isn't the issue, culture is.

I have to say, my jaw dropped reading that

Why?

Can I abstain from answering that, as I do not wish to offend

Oh.........OK.........I'll answer.

I think it is very offencive, and I did not think you were the kind of guy that would think like that.

No offence meant

Mike

MIKE
-way to nice and agree with you there.... [are u back up off the floor from the shock of fainting? LOL] I know dumber than rock rich dudes who actually have educations, even the best ones $ can buy, and super intelligent getting by/ poor dudes who u'd never know.....

Said b4.... like gay bi str8 bi curious, money/ soc-econ status ARE just anutter labeling system.

AND MEANINGLESS

josh

I'm probably gonna be the guy who always makes less than the one I'm dating since I'm 47 and I chose to pursue a spiritually based motivation when I could of chosen the high income paths early on. So now I'm looking to change career. I do agree that it's not what you make but what you do with it that's more important.
I know a gay couple where one makes a high 5 figures and the other 6 figures. They vacation 4 times a year traveling. They work out a ratio so that the one who makes less is not struggling to come along. I'd do that.
knowing how to save and live within your means makes a guy a whole lot more attractive to me than someone who has to have the latest gadgets or a finanicially draining hobby and is in debt all the time.

Socioeconomic: of, pertaining to, or signifying the combination or interaction of social and economic factors

culture: the quality in a person or society that arises from a concern for what is regarded as excellent in arts, letters, manners, scholarly pursuits, etc.

I put the definitions to help clarify what seems to be some people talking past each other rather than too each other. I agree completely with munch, cultural factors are much more important than someone's income. For example: if an individual thinks a literal interpretation of the bible is the only interpretation of the bible, something that would be part of their culture, then there's just no way I could date them. I've tried and it was heartbreaking. His cultural background was deeply religious, which affected everything in his life. The fact that he blindly accepted it because his parents told him too speaks volumes about him, who he is, and why it would never work between us.

If someone wants to live in a fantasy land that all you need is love, then knock yourselves out. Some of us need a mental connection at a different level of sophistication. Does that make us elitist snobs? Who the heck cares! We all have to live the life that is right for us, including making choices about the men we want next too us.

Your culture does matter. It's not a judgment about whether it is better or worse, it's just different.