Polite conversation and Sexual Activities (sex isn't just for people)

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2008 3:42 PM GMT
    Something my aunt sent me was humorous, and had a lot of facts that could be used to encourage polite behavior...

    for someone who yells, you could tell them that if they kept yelling for ... 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
    (Hardly seems worth it.)

    or to relieve tension, for example if someone got embarrassed by gas emissions you could say...

    If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
    (Now I'm really glad the fart didn't last that long!)


    The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
    (Good reason to stay healthy, you want to pump other things too...)


    A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (Great for the pig!)

    A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
    (I'm still not over the pig.)


    Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour
    (Don't try this at home, maybe at work)


    The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)


    The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes.. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)


    The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
    (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)


    Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
    (I think the pig has it better, quality over quantity)


    Butterflies taste with their feet.
    (Something I always wanted to know.)


    The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmmmmmm......)


    Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
    (Okay, so that would be a good thing)

    A cat's urine glows under a black light.
    (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)


    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
    (So acting like an ostrich could mean something other than burying your head in the sand)


    Starfish have no brains
    (But they can grow back limbs)


    Polar bears are left-handed. (How do they figure that?)


    Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
    (What about that pig??)


    Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.
    In other words, send it to everyone ! (and God love that pig!)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2008 5:03 PM GMT
    Thank you very much. Made my day that much better
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 19, 2008 5:17 PM GMT
    mobiusstripped saidor to relieve tension, for example if someone got embarrassed by gas emissions you could say...

    If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
    (Now I'm really glad the fart didn't last that long!)[ Yeah, but think about the greenhouse gases!]

    The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
    (Good reason to stay healthy, you want to pump other things too...)[I believe this .. I saw it on kill bill!]

    A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (Great for the pig!) [I must be a pig thenicon_redface.gif .. hey I resent that.icon_mad.gif]

    A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
    (I'm still not over the pig.) [Shit, I know some blonds that have lived their whole lives without one!]

    The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!) [And this is supposed to be a surprise?? This is why gay sex is good]

    The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
    (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?) [And having lived in the south and going to fish fry's, I have tasted all 27,000]

    Butterflies taste with their feet.
    (Something I always wanted to know.) [And humans speak out of their ass]

    Polar bears are left-handed. (How do they figure that? ) [You throw them a coke or a penguin]

    Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
    (What about that pig??) [When the pig has sex, he is makin' bacon!]

  • PRDGUY

    Posts: 641

    Jul 19, 2008 7:28 PM GMT
    Funny forum, even funnier responses.... from the south as well, so in regards to the catfish, who had the job of counting all 27,000 taste buds! and how many do we have???? Must be enuf as I havent yet received any complaints.