Am I mentally sick? Any advice/insight would be greatly appreciated.

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    May 01, 2012 12:25 AM GMT
    So ever since I was a kid I've been attracted to males, but I'm only attracted to males when they are wearing crew socks. The thought of me seeing men in crew socks, especially when doing rough atheletic activites has always hardened me. The thought of me being a crushed in a football/rugby pile of men( all in crew socks) or wrestling/boxing with a man while wearing this particular gear are the only things that has ever gotten me hard and the only things I've ever masturbated to. Anything sexual (with a man or woman) does nothing for me, It's not that I'm disgusted by it or anything, I just simply don't get turned on by penis or vagina. I see women out in the street and I think to myself "she's beautiful" or " damn, she's sexy" but thats as far as it goes. When I see an attractive man, all I can think about is how he would look in the kind of gear I like. I've never undressed anyone with my eyes and I have no desire to. My football/wrestling/rugby fantasies..are all that I think about (it's like it's taken the place of sex in my head)

    In addition, Im a virgin in every way you could possibly phantom, I've never had oral sex, I've never had sexual intercourse, I've never tongue kissed anyone or passionately made out with another human being. I also have extremely low self-esteem, people tell me I'm attractive and I believe their being honest, but I don't see it at all. As a result, I have attempted suicide in the past (sometimes I find that having this weird fetish + being black + getting older and older as time goes by is too much to live with) Most people would never know this looking at me from the outside though, I have friends, and I'm like the school therapist when it comes to giving others advice and mediating conflict, several of my friends have confided in me about their changes in sexuality and it seems people always look to me for help. So why the hell can't I get my life together? and why are my sexual attractions so weird? I think I'm crazy and no one believes me, I've been to doctors and everything and they keep telling me I'm normal or just "depressed", but I know this isn't normal...and I really don't want to be alone for the rest of my life, but I can't help what I like...is this rectifiable? any help/advice would be greatly appreciated
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    May 01, 2012 12:31 AM GMT
    Hi, Surpra! I nor anyone on the forum can diagnose you with being "mentally sick," but I will say you don't sound like it to me.

    Having a fetish like that isn't odd at all. We all have things like that. I myself am attracted to much older men. In fact, I am dating someone twice my age right now and it's my first "relationship" I've ever been in. Something about older men just turns me on. icon_smile.gif

    Self-Confidence is something you can improve. It all starts with you. Research some psychology forums behind it and begin improving your life. I struggle with self-esteem issues but when I look at it at a scientific way it becomes easier. When it comes down to it life is all about perspective.

    You're young. You won't be alone the rest of your life. Find an activity you enjoy and pursue it. Meet new people that way and begin living your life for yourself before anyone else.

    If it means anything I am a complete virgin as well. I've never made out with anyone before but I'm meeting my man very soon so we will see how that goes. Life is pretty awesome when it comes down to it, and you're journey is just beginning!

    If you would like some links to some cool and interesting hobbies let me know! I train parkour and it has changed my life completely (for the better).

    Much love, bro

    Josh
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    May 01, 2012 12:33 AM GMT
    mizzouguy10 saidYou need to get laid. Yes you're weird, but so are all virgins who are older than 17.


    And please don't listen to this. Being a virgin is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. At any moment you could be like anyone else, but nobody can go back to not being a virgin. Save it for someone you care about.
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    May 01, 2012 2:56 AM GMT
    mizzouguy10 said
    Josh1992 said
    mizzouguy10 saidYou need to get laid. Yes you're weird, but so are all virgins who are older than 17.


    And please don't listen to this. Being a virgin is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. At any moment you could be like anyone else, but nobody can go back to not being a virgin. Save it for someone you care about.


    Says the teenager that's dating a middle aged man...

    Worrying about your virginity is a puritan leftover in society. Your first time will be some of the worst sex you'll ever have and who you lose your virginity to will most likely NOT be the guy you end up with in the long run. If you want to save that for someone you really care about go right ahead.

    In short there's nothing inherently wrong with being a virgin, it's just that being a virgin is a symptom of being socially awkward and weird as hell.


    The Virgin Mary is contacting her son about you right now, Mizzouguy.
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    May 01, 2012 2:57 AM GMT
    mizzouguy10 said
    Josh1992 said
    mizzouguy10 saidYou need to get laid. Yes you're weird, but so are all virgins who are older than 17.


    And please don't listen to this. Being a virgin is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. At any moment you could be like anyone else, but nobody can go back to not being a virgin. Save it for someone you care about.


    Says the teenager that's dating a middle aged man...

    Worrying about your virginity is a puritan leftover in society. Your first time will be some of the worst sex you'll ever have and who you lose your virginity to will most likely NOT be the guy you end up with in the long run. If you want to save that for someone you really care about go right ahead.

    In short there's nothing inherently wrong with being a virgin, it's just that being a virgin is a symptom of being socially awkward and weird as hell.


    I don't think being a virgin 18+ as a gay male is weird. Unless you plan on having sex with some random guy you find on the internet when you're underage. It's not like people walk around high school with "I'm gay" signs for you to figure it out.
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    May 01, 2012 3:09 AM GMT
    mizzouguy10 said

    You make it seem like finding a guy on the internet is more random than going to the same school as people you live near. I say in this day and age it is weird.

    If you're not using the internet to find other gay guys even just for friends you're pretty far in the closet.

    To be fair, I met a GREAT guy who lost his gay virginity at 22 and he's cool as hell. But he lost his straight virginity while he was a teenager in the closet.


    And he'd be so much cooler if he lost his "gay" virginity when he was 17 right?....
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    May 01, 2012 3:16 AM GMT
    We're all mentally sick, the only difference is how willing we are to adhere to societies expectations. You like what you like. If you don't find normal sex attractive, it makes it more difficult to find someone to be with, but it's not impossible. Don't commit suicide, the pain will end, but it is an action of a coward.
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    May 01, 2012 3:18 AM GMT
    mizzouguy10 said
    yourname2000 said
    mizzouguy10 saidYou need to get laid. Yes you're weird, but so are all virgins who are older than 17.

    Really? 'Cos the OP seems as "normal" as any 'mo I've ever met. Sure beats the guy today who wants to fuck dead bodies (you know, as long as he can wake them up so they can enema their dead asses and then "die" again in time for him to slip his dick in.)

    Supra....there's just nothing "odd" about anything you've posted.


    Comparing a virgin to a necrophiliac is an interesting tactic. It's like saying a murder isn't bad because some people helped with the holocaust.

    He has a fetish. Not finding either gender sexually attractive unless they have socks on I think is a good sign of abuse.

    And not to mention, the Black community in America doesn't have the greatest history when it comes to child abuse and gay relations. (note that statement is a fact, not a statement on race itself)


    Dude, you missed a thread from earlier today. Dave was comparing this harmless fetish to something that actually *is sick*, that an actual RJ member had posted about. icon_rolleyes.gif

    EDIT: Linky to the thread in question http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2331096/
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    May 01, 2012 3:29 AM GMT
    mizzouguy10 said
    intensity69 said
    mizzouguy10 said
    yourname2000 said
    mizzouguy10 saidYou need to get laid. Yes you're weird, but so are all virgins who are older than 17.

    Really? 'Cos the OP seems as "normal" as any 'mo I've ever met. Sure beats the guy today who wants to fuck dead bodies (you know, as long as he can wake them up so they can enema their dead asses and then "die" again in time for him to slip his dick in.)

    Supra....there's just nothing "odd" about anything you've posted.


    Comparing a virgin to a necrophiliac is an interesting tactic. It's like saying a murder isn't bad because some people helped with the holocaust.

    He has a fetish. Not finding either gender sexually attractive unless they have socks on I think is a good sign of abuse.

    And not to mention, the Black community in America doesn't have the greatest history when it comes to child abuse and gay relations. (note that statement is a fact, not a statement on race itself)


    Dude, you missed a thread from earlier today. Dave was comparing this harmless fetish to something that actually *is sick*, that an actual RJ member had posted about. icon_rolleyes.gif


    See I think you guys are the ones who are confused. Not only is the OP worried that he is sick, it's clearly affecting his love life.

    Thinking socks on a guy is kinky is fine. Liking your toes sucked on, a little strange, but not sick. Neither affects your enjoyment of life.

    Only finding guys sexually attractive when they have socks on, and that alone, is probably a symptom of a mental disorder or past abuse. The OP has clearly sought help.

    You determine whether someone is sick or not based on it's effect on their quality of life. If it's detrimental I think it would be beneficial to seek help.


    So what makes you think that the OP has been abused? He's dumped a lot of information out there, and has not mentioned this.
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    May 01, 2012 3:53 AM GMT
    Supra89 said

    A.
    So ever since I was a kid I've been attracted to males, but I'm only attracted to males when they are wearing crew socks.

    B.
    I'm a virgin in every way you could possibly phantom,

    C.
    I also have extremely low self-esteem, people tell me I'm attractive and I believe their being honest, but I don't see it at all. As a result, I have attempted suicide in the past (sometimes I find that having this weird fetish + being black + getting older and older as time goes by is too much to live with)




    A. Stop fixating on your fantasy or fetish. Adult intimate relationships are not one dimensional. There's more than one factor in adult intimate relationships. You are a new adult at age 22. You have a lot of maturing to do. Adult intimate relationships are not just about a man giving you your fantasy orgasm. You need to have an orgasm just because someone LOVES you--not because they're wearing effing CREW SOCKS. Crew socks do not equal love.

    What if a No Strings Attached episode came your way; and, you got a man wearing crew socks but he wasn't good for your adult development? Like George Michael sang, there are teachers. You better connect your concept of lovemaking and release to something more substantial than a pair of effin' socks.

    B. Fathom

    Understand (a difficult problem or an enigmatic person) after much thought: "he could scarcely fathom the idea".

    C.
    Thoughts of suicide and dying do not need to be acted out. Just hold on until they go away. Put on some Shirley Caesar, Daryl Coley, or any good passionate Gospel music. You're Black. You can hold out until tomorrow (James Cleveland).

    You say you've helped other people. Keep living to help another day.
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    May 01, 2012 4:52 AM GMT
    Don't ya just hate when people abuse the "Quote" button?
    Like we really need to see the same thing over and over just because they add 3 more lines to the end?
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    May 01, 2012 4:58 AM GMT
    mizzouguy10 saidEspecially when that user has even more posts than you!

    The quantity of posts is irrelevant.
    It's what is in the posts.
    And when 99% of the post is odious back-quoting...

    ...just don't do it.

    Your back-and-forth stopped being about helping the guy a long time ago.
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    May 01, 2012 5:35 AM GMT
    Hi Supra89, how is having a fetish for crew socks a problem? It isn't; you like what you like.
    There's a wonderful man on here, Malefeet, who, as his monicker indicates, loves male feet.

    There's nothing wrong with liking socks on men, or jocks, or muscles, or hair.

    In fact, if we could all just be open about our likes, rather than our dislikes, it might make it easier to connect with each other.

    Yikes I sound like an old Uncle.

    -Doug
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    May 01, 2012 5:53 AM GMT
    Not at all "mentally sick". Everyone has a different appetite.
    Also that can change over time.

    The socks part is funny to me cause I remember going to the circus when I was 9. I think there was a hot trapeze artist who was probably wearing tights but I kept remembering him in dark blue socks. Not different from Aquaman (another of my hotties back then). For a few years I had some fantasies (not sexual!) which included that. Haven't thought about it in a *long* time, but I think I basically set up a secret society or club of people who wore these socks... perhaps somewhere I would belong and be accepted. (socks, bandanas, earings... what's the difference....)

    But I want to focus on something else you said:

    Supra89> it's like it's taken the place of sex in my head

    I think that's a defense mechanism to avoid sex. I think I did that in high school and college, too. I allowed myself to look at hot guys and appreciate them - from the waist up (ok, I also peeked elsewhere when I could, but I wouldn't fixate on that). Anything below the belt was twisted and to be avoided.

    THAT, not sex, is what is dysfunctional.


    Anyhow, you are you. Accept it. Allow yourself to live.
    Others - your friends and school mates - likely already do.
    It'll be ok.
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    May 01, 2012 10:13 PM GMT
    mizzouguy10 said
    yourname2000 said
    mizzouguy10 saidYou need to get laid. Yes you're weird, but so are all virgins who are older than 17.

    Really? 'Cos the OP seems as "normal" as any 'mo I've ever met. Sure beats the guy today who wants to fuck dead bodies (you know, as long as he can wake them up so they can enema their dead asses and then "die" again in time for him to slip his dick in.)

    Supra....there's just nothing "odd" about anything you've posted.


    Comparing a virgin to a necrophiliac is an interesting tactic. It's like saying a murder isn't bad because some people helped with the holocaust.

    He has a fetish. Not finding either gender sexually attractive unless they have socks on I think is a good sign of abuse.

    And not to mention, the Black community in America doesn't have the greatest history when it comes to child abuse and gay relations. (note that statement is a fact, not a statement on race itself)


    I've NEVER been sexual abused as a child, molested, touched or any of the above and if I was, MY RACE wouldn't have anything to do with it, none the less, thank you for your attempt to contribute.

    To the other guys:
    Is not wanting sex normal? idk how I'm going to find a partner if I can't sexually please them. Im on several other sites I won't name, that allows people to meet each other, however I don't have much success with them because most people obviously want more than socks and wrestling. Most straight people label me gay because of this fetish and gay people label me, asexual or "confused"....which is fine, I'm not big on labels anyway, but I'm 22 years old and will be 23 this summer, which means I'm getting old. When I was a teen I though it was something I'd eventually grow out of, but as I morph in to a full-blown adult, the desire is stronger than ever and I've yet to find a guy who understands where I'm coming from, which is starting to make me thing the person(s) I'm looking for does not exist.