Relationships with siblings...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2012 12:05 AM GMT
    So this is something I just realized; I haven't had a conversation with my older brother for more than 8 years. Is this common?

    When we were younger, we were polar opposites and never had much in common. As we grew older, the divide began to deepen to the point that by the time I graduated high school, we rarely talked. It's not that I don't like him, or that I hate him for some reason, it just has worked out that way. Living away from my hometown has only made it harder to keep in touch. I have never been really open with my parents about my private life, so with my brother I'm even more distant.

    Does anyone here have similar relationships with their siblings?
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    May 02, 2012 12:06 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidSo this is something I just realized; I haven't had a conversation with my older brother for more than 8 years. Is this common?

    When we were younger, we were polar opposites and never had much in common. As we grew older, the divide began to deepen to the point that by the time I graduated high school, we rarely talked. It's not that I don't like him, or that I hate him for some reason, it just has worked out that way. Living away from my hometown has only made it harder to keep in touch. I have never been really open with my parents about my private life, so with my brother I'm even more distant.

    Does anyone here have similar relationships with their siblings?
    Yup!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2012 12:08 AM GMT
    I have a much different reason to be distant from my brother. It's not because he hates gays - it's because he abandoned his son at birth (and I'm the one who ended up raising him).
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    May 02, 2012 12:38 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidSo this is something I just realized; I haven't had a conversation with my older brother for more than 8 years. Is this common?

    When we were younger, we were polar opposites and never had much in common. As we grew older, the divide began to deepen to the point that by the time I graduated high school, we rarely talked. It's not that I don't like him, or that I hate him for some reason, it just has worked out that way. Living away from my hometown has only made it harder to keep in touch. I have never been really open with my parents about my private life, so with my brother I'm even more distant.

    Does anyone here have similar relationships with their siblings?


    Yes. My older brother Renaldo and I have a somewhat distant relationship but it seems to be getting better even though it wasn't in the past.
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    May 02, 2012 12:45 AM GMT
    I wish I can have a distant relationship with my older brother for that long, luckily he just moved a state away and I couldn't be happier.
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    May 02, 2012 12:46 AM GMT
    LilPuppet saidI wish I can have a distant relationship with my older brother for that long, luckily he just moved a state away and I couldn't be happier.
    AZ or OR?
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    May 02, 2012 12:47 AM GMT
    I talk to my two younger brothers all the time. We send links and other text messages all the time, I think they cared about the gay thing at first but I don't think they care much at this point.

    I think it's really odd you two haven't spoken in 8 years. If you want a relationship just reach out to the guy, he might really appreciate it.
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    May 02, 2012 12:55 AM GMT
    Difficult family situations are common, from what I've observed with all the people I know.

    I myself have a good sister that I'm in regular contact with. But we have two brothers who are about as bad as they come. Spoiled, uneducated, vicious, homophobic, dishonest, slandering, ungrateful, jealous, hateful thieves. Get the picture? When our mother dies, I'll never have to speak to either of these rotten brothers again. Have I tried to forgive and be accepting? Yes. Many times. Did it work? No. Now I just have to forgive (hard) and let them go.
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    May 02, 2012 12:59 AM GMT
    I'll be the first to admit that I may be biased but I couldn't imagine not talking to a sibling for that long granted I've a identicle twin and we thick as thieves but even my sister and I yarn every month at least
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    May 02, 2012 1:01 AM GMT
    Jockbod48 saidDifficult family situations are common, from what I've observed with all the people I know.

    I myself have a good sister that I'm in regular contact with. But we have two brothers who are about as bad as they come. Spoiled, uneducated, vicious, homophobic, dishonest, slandering, ungrateful, jealous, hateful thieves. Get the picture? When our mother dies, I'll never have to speak to either of these rotten brothers again. Have I tried to forgive and be accepting? Yes. Many times. Did it work? No. Now I just have to forgive (hard) and let them go.
    The best medicine for a healthy mental state!
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    May 02, 2012 1:02 AM GMT
    qldcowboy saidI'll be the first to admit that I may be biased but I couldn't imagine not talking to a sibling for that long granted I've a identicle twin and we thick as thieves but even my sister and I yarn every month at least
    Your sister looks like you? Uh OH!icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif
    Yeah, twins are an exception to the sibling rules!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2012 1:15 AM GMT
    My sister and I used to fight like cats and dogs. We're much more civil now, she can even be a great friend at times. icon_cool.gif
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    May 02, 2012 1:20 AM GMT
    TropicalMark_GySgtUSMC said
    LilPuppet saidI wish I can have a distant relationship with my older brother for that long, luckily he just moved a state away and I couldn't be happier.
    AZ or OR?


    NV
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2012 1:20 AM GMT
    Luckily, I get on well with my family, including my brother and sister.

    I have had friends in the same boat as the OP, however.
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    May 02, 2012 1:21 AM GMT
    LilPuppet said
    TropicalMark_GySgtUSMC said
    LilPuppet saidI wish I can have a distant relationship with my older brother for that long, luckily he just moved a state away and I couldn't be happier.
    AZ or OR?


    NV
    Oops.. forgot that one.. my bad! (being a calif native and all)
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    May 02, 2012 1:24 AM GMT
    jmusmc85 saidSo this is something I just realized; I haven't had a conversation with my older brother for more than 8 years. Is this common?

    When we were younger, we were polar opposites and never had much in common. As we grew older, the divide began to deepen to the point that by the time I graduated high school, we rarely talked. It's not that I don't like him, or that I hate him for some reason, it just has worked out that way. Living away from my hometown has only made it harder to keep in touch. I have never been really open with my parents about my private life, so with my brother I'm even more distant.

    Does anyone here have similar relationships with their siblings?


    The way I get along with my siblings is just the opposite. It seems like the older we get the closer we grow.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2012 1:25 AM GMT
    I am not close with my three younger siblings. They are not close with one another. There's no actual animosity or big falling out per se, although there have been some minor disagreements. We were never close.

    Some of it is age. My sister and little bro are 6 and 12 yrs younger than me. Most of it is the way we were raised. We were taught to be independent, especially emotionally/mentally.

    When my youngest brother had cancer in his teens, that also added to the already-in-place distance. The other two couldn't deal with it. I spent many nights in the PICU during his chemo, but even after that intense experience we were no closer than when it started.
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    May 02, 2012 1:30 AM GMT
    TropicalMark_GySgtUSMC said
    LilPuppet said
    TropicalMark_GySgtUSMC said
    LilPuppet saidI wish I can have a distant relationship with my older brother for that long, luckily he just moved a state away and I couldn't be happier.
    AZ or OR?


    NV
    Oops.. forgot that one.. my bad! (being a calif native and all)


    When he was leaving I was like where? Neva..what...oh Nevada icon_razz.gif at least its 200 miles away from me.

    But I LOVE my little sister (she is 14) I I want her to travel with me everywhere. She is so much fun can't wait till she is 18 so we can go all over the world and party.
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    May 02, 2012 1:36 AM GMT
    I've always been very close to my twin, but not so with my older brother. In the past 4-5 years, however, I've gotten much closer to him; now, I consider him to be a close friend. It's really nice.
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    May 02, 2012 1:38 AM GMT
    My brother is 12 years older than me and also my half-sibling. He's my mom's other son from her first marriage.

    He and I never grew up together because he grew up with his dad and step-mom in Texas while I grew up with our mom and my dad in Virginia. Essentially I grew up as an only child and have always felt like an only child. We saw each other only a few times growing up. Then around 9 years ago he moved to Maryland for work. As you can imagine, I've gotten to see him more since he moved closer. Plus he and our mom have been able to catch up since she wasn't in life for a long time.

    My brother and I get along fine, but I don't consider us close. For a long time he felt like a stranger, but at least he no longer does. However, we don't have much of a sibling relationship since we've always been distant.

    I sometimes have a feeling he and I might become close later when life when our mom dies. Just a hunch.
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    May 02, 2012 1:47 AM GMT
    I'm cool with all my brothers, they knew about my having feelings for guys many years ago even though i never acted on my feelings until a few years ago. They love me and want only the best for me..I LOVE THOSE GUYS
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    May 02, 2012 1:52 AM GMT
    bodyjuice saidI'm cool with all my brothers, they knew about my having feelings for guys many years ago even though i never acted on my feelings until a few years ago. They love me and want only the best for me..I LOVE THOSE GUYS
    Well are glad you finally did?
  • DanOmatic

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    May 02, 2012 1:57 AM GMT
    I'm lucky: my brothers and sister and I are all emotionally close and very supportive of each other, even though we live far apart. It's sort of a miracle, since we were raised to be pretty much emotionally autonomous. It's a shame that we weren't particularly close as kids when we could have circled our wagons against our crazy dad who would have these wildly destructive temper tantrums (the kind where the entire room would get trashed in front of us, and then we'd be told to clean it up). But as adults we realized that we really need to be there for each other, if anything to make up for how little we were able to support each other as kids.
  • GWriter

    Posts: 1446

    May 02, 2012 1:58 AM GMT
    My sister and I don't talk as much as I would like, but we get along fine. I called her and asked her advice before I came out to my parents. (The first thing she said was, "Finally!")
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    May 02, 2012 2:04 AM GMT
    My sis and I are too close for our own good. I think it's great that we have that support and I can have that foot to kick my ass when I need it (and yes- I do need it sometimes) but sometimes it is not a good thing.