How do you know when it's time to take a break?

  • mtnjock

    Posts: 104

    Jul 19, 2008 10:52 PM GMT
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months. It's been great but I feel like he and I both might need a break. How do you tell when it's time and what to do during that time? I'm afraid if we take a break we might drift apart. We both know that we love one another, but some time apart might help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 20927

    Jul 19, 2008 11:25 PM GMT
    If you think you need a break, you probably do. If you drift apart, it wasn't meant to be. If the break makes you stronger, than it will have been worth it.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Jul 19, 2008 11:27 PM GMT
    How do you tell when it's time?

    When you feel like both of you need a break.

    What to do during that time?

    Take a look at your life with him and your life without him and see which one works best. If your life without him works best, determine the reason(s) why. Are these serious reasons? Can they be worked on and overcome?

    Will you drift apart during this break?

    It may happen, it may not happen. People can drift apart with or without a break in their relationship.
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13999

    Jul 19, 2008 11:38 PM GMT
    why do you feel you need time apart?
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 20, 2008 10:21 AM GMT
    Sorry guy, that you have to feel this way
    It's tough when you care about someone and you come to this conclusion

    You know after a couple of things

    ** when the sex starts going sour
    when no matter what your intentions are when you get together all you do is fight
    when communication is no longer possible
    when your other half has done things you can't forgive
    anything that takes the enjoyment about being with each other

    How long and what you do during the break is up to you guys
    But spend that time on yourself
    I wouldn't take that time to date other men... that would be counter productive
    and will you drift apart? Maybe...that's what the break is for
    to see if your relationship is strong enough to weather this storm
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    Jul 20, 2008 11:33 AM GMT
    I'd be concerned that you feel you need a break after only 7 months. 7 years maybe, but 7 months? Have you really learned everything about the other person in this short time, that now you need a break from the relationship? Maybe the break you're seeing is based more on your perceived compatibililty with him or lack there of.
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    Jul 20, 2008 12:04 PM GMT
    I think that GQjock hit the nail on the head.

    The only thing I would add or question is that you word your question in a way that indicates that it is a decision that you've made and the guy your dating hasn't a clue about. Maybe you've tried to tell him but he won't listen (which gets back to shat GQjock said.)

    But in line with what GQjock said, you've come to this decision in a way that would indicate that you don't want to hurt him, you like him, but you no longer see him as the man your looking for.
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    Jul 20, 2008 3:00 PM GMT
    Why would you need a break after only 7 month's?
    That beat's me?

    I don't see enough of my Boy and if he was with me all the time I would not want a break only the odd day going for a walk alone maybe?
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    Jul 22, 2008 7:44 PM GMT
    If the dating has been going great, maybe you guys just need a bit more space, not really "a break." Seeing or talking to each other less often might afford the distance you require without having to part ways.

    If the need to take a break is borne from a feeling of doubt or uncertainty, best to identify where it's coming from and if it's worth fixing.

    If the need to break is out of the desire to be non-exclusive, then maybe you just want to keep your options open. But this might be interpreted as wanting the best of many worlds, with the other guy acting as possible reserve in case the other dates don't measure up.

    I guess the bottom line is to identify the real reason behind the need to take a break. If the reason is worth the risk of drifting apart, then go for it.

    All the best! icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2008 8:34 PM GMT
    mtnjock said "My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months ..."

    i'm just wondering ... or maybe confused ...

    why do you say "boyfriend" and "dating for 7 months"?

    i thought the terms "dating" and "boyfriend" are two different worlds ...

    i thought "dating" means getting to know someone in order to determine if a relationship is something worth pursuing ...

    and "boyfriend" means you are with someone whom you have a romantic or sexual RELATIONSHIP ...

    see the difference? ...

    in "dating" there is no romantic or sexual relationship yet ...

    but in "boyfriend", you are in a romantic or sexual relationship ...

    discuss ...