Why do fem guys always get the "short stick" in dating

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 02, 2012 6:14 PM GMT
    I've found that being middle-mannerism or even being the slightest fem acting is such a turnoff for guys. Why? We have qualities as well. Why are most gay guys caught up in the whole illusion of "straight acting/" I know the excuse is "if i wanted to be with a girl, Id be with a girl." Really not an excuse, but hey everyone has one.
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    May 02, 2012 6:24 PM GMT
    Personally I prefer middle of the road characteristics. I'm not attracted to the ultra straight/jock/bro/alpha type. But I don't have any issues with the fem type either so long as they aren't an annoying whiny mess.
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    May 02, 2012 6:26 PM GMT
    TellMeMoar saidPersonally I prefer middle of the road characteristics. I'm not attracted to the ultra straight/jock/bro/alpha type. But I don't have any issues with the fem type either so long as they aren't an annoying whiny mess.

    I'm like inbetween but some guys assume im that "bro" type because of my pics but I'm not. That type makes me vomit! Its like they are trying too hard.
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    May 02, 2012 7:19 PM GMT
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    May 02, 2012 8:42 PM GMT
    I don't understand the whole "If I wanted to be with a girl I would just date one."
    Girls don't have penises. End of story.
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    May 02, 2012 8:42 PM GMT
    Hmm well being with a fem guy in public can get you some odd disapproving looks. I don't really care either way, just be who you are. As for why masculine acting guys are more desired, it might be that we subconciously lower the status of feminine people. Masculinity is associated with strength, confidence, and dominance. While femininity is asscoiated with grace, beauty and submissiveness. I think feminine guys are further ostracized from heternormative society, as they don't fit the expected male behavior, and they are easily more identifiable as gay men.
    I was with a guy who liked watching those beauty competition shows, not something I'm into, but he was still a great guy.
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    May 02, 2012 8:46 PM GMT
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    May 02, 2012 9:05 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidI don't under stand why fem guy want to date masculine guys .... why don't they want to date other fem guys

    Sorta like 2 lipstick lesbians

    icon_biggrin.gif


    OMG they can scissor sword fight (mind blown) icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 02, 2012 9:39 PM GMT
    AMoonHawk saidI don't under stand why fem guy want to date masculine guys .... why don't they want to date other fem guys
    hhmmmm.. good point!
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    May 02, 2012 9:46 PM GMT
    TellMeMoar said
    AMoonHawk saidI don't under stand why fem guy want to date masculine guys .... why don't they want to date other fem guys
    hhmmmm.. good point!

    I get the point, and honestly you think that two fem guys would have more in common but its basically disaster! I tried it and I just couldn't get into the relationship. It lasted for less than a month and was one of the most stressful ones ever! We tend to be more emotional, so two together is like..IDK a mess is all I can say.
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    May 02, 2012 9:57 PM GMT
    fhaynie81 said
    TellMeMoar said
    AMoonHawk saidI don't under stand why fem guy want to date masculine guys .... why don't they want to date other fem guys
    hhmmmm.. good point!

    I get the point, and honestly you think that two fem guys would have more in common but its basically disaster! I tried it and I just couldn't get into the relationship. It lasted for less than a month and was one of the most stressful ones ever! We tend to be more emotional, so two together is like..IDK a mess is all I can say.


    And therein lies the issue man. Its the same old story, different coat. "Its ok for me to not want to date x/y/z because I am x/y/z, but it is not ok for you to not want to date x/y/z because you are not x/y/z."

    What you just described sounds like a huge turn-off for me. Why would I do that? Ever?!

    I date masculine men because I have more in common with them. We know what its like to just want to go shoot hoops, play games, be competitive a bit, work out a shit ton, and so forth. With more feminine men, while I love hanging out with them and are great people, I tend to have less in common with. And then there is the whole emotional roller coaster thing too.

    So yea. Wondering why people dont want to date feminine? Well, ask yourself why and you will have the answer you seek.
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    May 02, 2012 10:00 PM GMT
    fhaynie81 saidThat type makes me vomit! Its like they are trying too hard.


    You had me on your side but then you had to say something stupid. You just used the same EXACT words that people use in describing feminine guys. Can we say "HYPOCRITE"? icon_rolleyes.gif
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    May 02, 2012 10:06 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said
    fhaynie81 saidThat type makes me vomit! Its like they are trying too hard.


    You had me on your side but then you had to say something stupid. You just used the same EXACT words that people use in describing feminine guys. Can we say "HYPOCRITE"? icon_rolleyes.gif

    I know your right its a doubled edged sword. I think everyone is dipping to deep into this LOL. But everything said is helpful.

    P.S. Emotional isn't always bad.....in my OWN PERSONAL experiences ( with exception of the fem guy) every masculine guy i have dated/ LTR has been basically non-emotional which makes for a communication block. So thats's why one time I tried to date another fem guy. I get it.
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    May 03, 2012 12:12 AM GMT
    I dunno, I wouldn't really want to date a fem guy because he's just not what I'm looking for to date. It's not that I wouldn't be friends with them, just their qualities don't turn me on. I think at the end of the day, you date someone that possesses qualities you like. Majority of people on here I think it's safe to assume aren't interested in fem guys.

    But to people who generally think fem guys are just a whiny mess, I don't think so. They may act that way sometimes depending on the situation and if you just talk to them, like any normal human being, I'm sure they can understand and turn it down for you if they really cared about you.
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    May 03, 2012 5:33 AM GMT
    fhaynie81 said
    P.S. Emotional isn't always bad.....in my OWN PERSONAL experiences ( with exception of the fem guy) every masculine guy i have dated/ LTR has been basically non-emotional which makes for a communication block. So thats's why one time I tried to date another fem guy. I get it.


    Nah...see, let me tell you about masculine men. They are just as emotional if not MORE emotional than fem guys. You just have to start peeling back the layers one by one, ignore all the butch stuff. They have emotions and are filled with them just like anyone else. I even told this guy I'm seeing now, "you seem like the bad boy type...but I know in reality you're sweet and have a kind heart. I see that." Next time we met up, his emotions were front and center and it actually drew him closer to me. Call them out on it!

    Remember the episode of Jersey Shore when Mike got all emotional when people didn't celebrate his birthday like he wanted? Oh yeah...get them around their birthday time all the emotions come out then.

    In my experiences, I've found fem men to be more ho-ish and can't give a fuck than masculine men. My reasons for not dealing with them. Especially with me, I really get the short end of the stick. The fem guys who like me are the same ones who've probably taken every Black dick available in the club. You know who you is. Like, don't fucking look at me ho...go on and flutter your ass someplace else.
  • Art2D2x

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    May 03, 2012 5:50 AM GMT
    I grew up with a mom and two younger sisters. Maybe that's the reason I prefer the guys who have masc-fem/masculine qualities. I wouldn't be able to stand anymore feminine energy.


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    May 03, 2012 5:56 AM GMT
    Anduru said125.jpg


    Chimps can wear human clothing and pretend to be human because it's okay to be human but if a human dresses like a chimp and behaves like a chimp then it is degrading because you think being a chimp is degrading.

    Wow, faulty logic is actually pretty fun!
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    May 03, 2012 6:02 AM GMT
    Claystation saidAndHereWeGo.gif


    tumblr_lu3hkq9qdZ1qakh43o1_500.gif

    So I propose we enjoy the ride with some jazz

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    May 03, 2012 6:03 AM GMT
    Animus said
    Chimps can wear human clothing and pretend to be human because it's okay to be human but if a human dresses like a chimp and behaves like a chimp then it is degrading because you think being a chimp is degrading.

    Wow, faulty logic is actually pretty fun!

    uh... 0_0
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    May 03, 2012 6:10 AM GMT
    Animus said
    Anduru said125.jpg


    Chimps can wear human clothing and pretend to be human because it's okay to be human but if a human dresses like a chimp and behaves like a chimp then it is degrading because you think being a chimp is degrading.

    Wow, faulty logic is actually pretty fun!


    What he said.^^^
    Honestly if you changed it to:
    "Girls are over-sexualized and put on a pedestal, expected to be beautiful barbies, yet when a male attempts to look that way it's degrading. Because women are degraded, and why would a guy want to deal with that kind of pressure"

    then that would make sense to me.

    I used to dress in women's clothing and have long hair, all throughout highschool. I quickly grew out of it, because it was way too much work, and a waste. I'm much happier putting my time into working out, instead of sitting in front of a mirror plucking my eyebrows and dyeing my hair.
  • Art2D2x

    Posts: 148

    May 03, 2012 6:15 AM GMT
    MK_Ultra said
    Animus said
    Anduru said125.jpg


    Chimps can wear human clothing and pretend to be human because it's okay to be human but if a human dresses like a chimp and behaves like a chimp then it is degrading because you think being a chimp is degrading.

    Wow, faulty logic is actually pretty fun!


    What he said.^^^
    Honestly if you changed it to:
    "Girls are over-sexualized and put on a pedestal, expected to be beautiful barbies, yet when a male attempts to look that way it's degrading. Because women are degraded, and why would a guy want to deal with that kind of pressure"

    then that would make sense to me.

    I used to dress in women's clothing and have long hair, all throughout highschool. I quickly grew out of it, because it was way too much work, and a waste. I'm much happier putting my time into working out, instead of sitting in front of a mirror plucking my eyebrows and dyeing my hair.


    Beauty is pain.
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    May 03, 2012 6:16 AM GMT
    MK_Ultra said
    I used to dress in women's clothing and have long hair, all throughout highschool. I quickly grew out of it, because it was way too much work, and a waste. I'm much happier putting my time into working out, instead of sitting in front of a mirror plucking my eyebrows and dyeing my hair.


    And men don't do that? Masculine, butch men don't do that???
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    May 03, 2012 6:17 AM GMT
    this is more reality: "if i wanted to be with a girl, Id be with a girl."

    and NOT an excuse
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    May 03, 2012 6:20 AM GMT
    Tallathlete24 said
    MK_Ultra said
    I used to dress in women's clothing and have long hair, all throughout highschool. I quickly grew out of it, because it was way too much work, and a waste. I'm much happier putting my time into working out, instead of sitting in front of a mirror plucking my eyebrows and dyeing my hair.


    And men don't do that? Masculine, butch men don't do that???


    I was dying my hair pink, purple, blue, etc. My eyebrows were thinner than Gwen Stefani's.

    I still pluck, but only a few hairs that need it.
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    May 03, 2012 6:21 AM GMT
    I could use getting a short stick right about now...