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Have you been heartbroken? What did your ex teach you about yourself? What did they teach you about what your needs are?

I need to stop denying myself, to live more, and I need people more than I thought.

To walk out at the first sign of drug/alcohol abuse.

That I will pour myself out for a man I love... and that I should be careful to love a man who will pour himself out for me as well. Or I'll just be left empty.

This is a great topic.

I can't call this person my "ex" but we dated for a month.

He taught me a lot. He taught me that people will walk all over you and suck the life out of you if you let them. He made it perfectly clear that once a crystal addict, always a crystal addict. So in the future, a person who claims to have let go of intense "prior" drug use I will be looking for the nearest exit to make my permanent escape.

It's not so much that he wanted to do drugs again but it takes a certain mentality for people to do drugs to the point of crating their dog so that they can have orgiastic sex all weekend long while smoking crystal meth. I mean, we're talking to the point of losing a couple rear molar teeth.

Addicts are typically self-focused selfish people. I now know this very well and will not make this same mistake twice.

So, to recap, what I learned was how to maintain a level of integrity within myself and to allow myself to be more discerning. I went into things trying to keep an open mind but I do have a right to be discerning. Unfortunately I let that go and I let myself get a bit too involved with someone I really have nothing in common with.

And I wasn't listening to my instincts. I have to remember that as well.

NC3athlete saidTo walk out at the first sign of drug/alcohol abuse.

This x2

To trust less and be a little more selfish.

1. Don't settle.

2. An intellectual/mental connection does not equate to a physical attraction/connection.

3. I guess he taught me how to dress better...

LAGuy1979 saidTo trust less and be a little more selfish.

Amen...that and to do a criminal background check.

The most important thing I've learned: never, ever ignore the red flags no matter how much your heart tells you otherwise.

That bat-shit-crazy might be sexy at the beginning....but it sure as hell isn't sexy at the end.

Be assertive

To trust my gut

if you cut off the head the body will die.

Don't be clingy.
The only one who can really make you happy is yourself.
Be safe. (He died 20 years ago, before effective HIV treatments.)

NC3athlete saidTo walk out at the first sign of drug/alcohol abuse.

++1

Addicts are abusive to themselves and those around them. I was once again reminded of that this week.

ramigun saidThe most important thing I've learned: never, ever ignore the red flags no matter how much your heart tells you otherwise.

++ To this. When you ignore the read flags you will have the situation I had this week that included verbal abuse and spit.

Some of my exes taught me, without being aware of it, to never let someone steal your ability to trust, love, and be happy with yourself, or to control your future by damaging your optimism.

-Doug

My ex taught me that the good times can outweigh the pain at the end, that the end does not necessarily imply bitterness or hostility, and that I really do like eggplant and avocado, I just didn't know that before.

How to suck dick.

that i'm selfish. and that it's okay

TotalTopJock said

ramigun saidThe most important thing I've learned: never, ever ignore the red flags no matter how much your heart tells you otherwise.

++ To this. When you ignore the read flags you will have the situation I had this week that included verbal abuse and spit.

Co-sign this.

On the flip side, those small things along the way that said "I love you" were important reminders to me that I was worthy of being loved.

On my personal journey, that was a very valuable gift.

Don't pour all of your emotions into one person.
Don't be clingy.
Be ready to love and care for yourself in case the one you're with leaves you.
Don't wear your heart on your sleeve.
Relationships don't need to be a "right now" thing if it's not meant to be.
Among other things...

mizzouguy10 said1. Once a cheater, always a cheater. (that applies in every situation unless they're the ones who confessed)

2. People make themselves misleading to "sell" themselves to the world.

3. People are selfish and think they aren't.

4. Love is the most amazing thing in the world.

5. You know that's such thing as a spark when you find someone who makes you feel like you've never kissed anyone before them.

The thing about #4 and #5 is that they often go along with the same person who taught you lessons #1-3.

What has your ex taught you?

More accurately my exes, plural.

I learned about heartbreak. And how to move past it.

I learned that love can be a one-way street, that what you put in isn't always what you get back. And then you move on.

I learned to keep looking, to never give up hope, because one day *HE* will be there.

And he was, and he is. Twice in my life, actually.

Having exes taught me to never capitulate, to always keep searching. The right guy is out there, and he was. Because I was looking for him, and so was able to find him, knew him when I met him. That's what my exes taught me.