A note of encouragement for my brothers here

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    May 06, 2012 1:53 AM GMT
    I wanted to let y'all know something things that had happened to me recently.

    I've been out to my parents for about a year... I hadn't told them I was gay because my parents are very conservative... voted for Huckabee in 2008 because he sounded the most Christian. But my parents both hugged me, said they loved me, and nothing would ever change that... They were more upset that I thought they'd reject me for something like that. And now they read books about sexuality and stand up for gays in church.

    Then I was terrified to come out to my Grandparents... because my Granddad is my hero, but also a Methodist Minister and a lifelong missionary. But I told him, and he didn't bat an eye. In fact, of all my family, he's the only one to ask me how I feel about the breakup with my last boyfriend.

    Then I thought my oldest friends, who I knew from church when I was in high school and who lead a church in Jacksonville now, wouldn't understand... but they knew and were upset that I had gone through 12 years of friendship with them thinking they didn't love me enough.

    Then I assumed my cousins in Mississippi, who very Southern and very conservative, of course disagreed with me, though I knew they were aware of my sexuality because my aunts are huge gossips... But then today I jokingly became boyfriends with a friend of mine on facebook (long story) and my Mississippi cousins congratulated me and told me they loved me.

    The tide is turning guys... There are really good days ahead of us icon_smile.gif
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    May 06, 2012 1:59 AM GMT
    cute emoticon-0152-heart.png
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    May 06, 2012 2:09 AM GMT
    Larkin said

    The tide is turning guys... There are really good days ahead of us icon_smile.gif


    I agree. I never thought my brother would accept me before I told him but now he is my biggest supporter and advocate after I told him. It improved our relationship as well.
  • Coug24_wyo

    Posts: 147

    May 06, 2012 2:10 AM GMT
    That is nice to hear, thanks for sharing Larkin!
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    May 06, 2012 2:10 AM GMT
    Wow, that makes me feel like coming out sooner than I planned to! But still, everyone has to judge their own situation but what you just said really put a smile on my face that things are changing for the better. Thanks man!
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    May 06, 2012 2:10 AM GMT
    All smiles here for you, Larkin. My experience was pretty much the same - years back. Things are good for you - - - - and that's great.
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    May 06, 2012 2:11 AM GMT
    You are fortunate to have family and friends who truly believe the power of Love and that they fully understood the real message of Christianity.
    HALLELOOOO!!!
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    May 06, 2012 2:12 AM GMT
    That is awesome Larkin! I hope that we all have the same success.
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    May 06, 2012 2:16 AM GMT
    ." They were more upset that I thought they'd reject me for something like that."
    That's exactly what they said to me! And mom said well son you know it's going to hurt. I said what? Your behind. icon_wink.gif
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    May 06, 2012 2:28 AM GMT
    Congrats, man. All the best.
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    May 06, 2012 2:28 AM GMT
    Interesting.

    I'm the youngest of three brothers - oldest is 50, the middle is 48, and me bein the latecomer at 39.

    My older (middle) brother came out in the late 80s to our family - dad didn't take it well at all (and resulted in his being more or less cut off from the family for the next 10 years).

    Dad was frightfully homophobic and as a long time career army man (ranger and drill sergeant among many other things) made his displeasure known, even going as far as to introduce us to others as his "two sons and a daughter".

    So you can imagine that this wasn't exactly a very nurturing environment for me to consider coming out in.

    I'm a bit conflicted in that dad passed away and I never came out to him - part of me feared breaking his heart (by this time he had come to tolerate my brother and was somewhat reconciled, if not fully so with his homosexuality) ; the other part of me somewhat regrets not having told him.

    But my brothers for obvious reasons are much more accepting.
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    May 06, 2012 2:32 AM GMT
    I never really cared what my parents, relatives, or others thought about me and my sexuality. My biggest hurdle was myself.
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    May 06, 2012 2:37 AM GMT
    AlphaTrigger saidDad was frightfully homophobic and as a long time career army man (ranger and drill sergeant among many other things) made his displeasure known, even going as far as to introduce us to others as his "two sons and a daughter".


    My mother jokingly called me Tinker Bell once. I blank stared at her and called her BITCH! And said, "Now that we've decided on pet names for each other..."
  • CuriousJockAZ

    Posts: 19138

    May 06, 2012 2:42 AM GMT
    Thanks for sharing, Larkin -- very happy for you. It's great to here positive stuff like this because it's not all negative out there and, YES, times they are a changin'
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    May 06, 2012 2:47 AM GMT
    AlphaTrigger said...
    I'm a bit conflicted in that dad passed away and I never came out to him - part of me feared breaking his heart (by this time he had come to tolerate my brother and was somewhat reconciled, if not fully so with his homosexuality) ; the other part of me somewhat regrets not having told him.

    But my brothers for obvious reasons are much more accepting.


    I'm sorry to hear that your father is no longer with you and your family. I am happy to hear that your bothers are more accepting.

    I hope that you will be able to come to terms with your decision not to tell your father. In the end, you didn't and your relationship with your father is forever what it is when he passed.

    Don't beat yourself up.

    Hugz!

    Alan
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    May 06, 2012 2:59 AM GMT
    Larkin....wonderful story...it is so good to hear the positive stories, but then you come across as a special guy too....so why wouldn't your family be supportive!

    The first person I came out to was my mom....in 1998 at age 38......I was scared to death and nervous as a whore in church!....when I told her...she looked at me and said....Yeah, AND?......I've known that for YEARS!.....same with my sister and brother and Grandmother.......they all KNEW before I ever said anything.....and all said the same thing when I asked....why nobody TOLD ME?....saved me lots of money and time and heartache in therapy?....they all said.....just something you needed to find for yourself.......

    CONGRATS on the happy outing!icon_lol.gif
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    May 06, 2012 3:11 AM GMT
    it's certainly wonderful that you feel much acceptance, but it is troubling that those nearest and dearest to you have led and continue to lead lives of such utter intellectual incoherence . . .

    . . . why do their opinions count?

    . . . and why is it so fabulously good for gays to be "accepted" by half wits and to be happy about that?
  • nolejock01

    Posts: 39

    May 06, 2012 3:11 AM GMT
    wuv you larkieeee
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    May 06, 2012 4:23 AM GMT
    I'll get back to you after the citizens of North Carolina vote Tuesday on which way the tide is turning......But excellent for you!!!! ;-)
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    May 06, 2012 4:25 AM GMT
    Not enough dick pics in this thread....
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    May 06, 2012 4:27 AM GMT
    You say that you have kin in Mississippi? Interesting. I'm curious actually, if you don't mind telling me, how do those people view the current world of technology and politicis that we live in now in the United States? I'm fascinated and curious to learn about such a thing. How are they adjusting to the world that is around them now and the world that is coming from around the globe? Thanks
  • AirLandia

    Posts: 110

    May 06, 2012 4:33 AM GMT
    The tide is turning for some and in some ways, but there's still a long road ahead. It is certainly not easy for many gay men to grow into being a gay man in a straight man's world.
    I did attend the Gay Christian Network conference in Orlando in January too by the way and found it very inspiring. A great resource for gay Christians and a great place to make some new friends.
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    May 06, 2012 4:36 AM GMT
    AWWWW YEAHHHH icon_biggrin.gif
  • newral

    Posts: 137

    May 06, 2012 4:38 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan said
    AlphaTrigger saidDad was frightfully homophobic and as a long time career army man (ranger and drill sergeant among many other things) made his displeasure known, even going as far as to introduce us to others as his "two sons and a daughter".


    My mother jokingly called me Tinker Bell once. I blank stared at her and called her BITCH! And said, "Now that we've decided on pet names for each other..."


    icon_eek.gif
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    May 06, 2012 4:42 AM GMT
    Larkin saidI wanted to let y'all know something things that had happened to me recently.

    I've been out to my parents for about a year... I hadn't told them I was gay because my parents are very conservative... voted for Huckabee in 2008 because he sounded the most Christian. But my parents both hugged me, said they loved me, and nothing would ever change that... They were more upset that I thought they'd reject me for something like that. And now they read books about sexuality and stand up for gays in church.

    Then I was terrified to come out to my Grandparents... because my Granddad is my hero, but also a Methodist Minister and a lifelong missionary. But I told him, and he didn't bat an eye. In fact, of all my family, he's the only one to ask me how I feel about the breakup with my last boyfriend.

    Then I thought my oldest friends, who I knew from church when I was in high school and who lead a church in Jacksonville now, wouldn't understand... but they knew and were upset that I had gone through 12 years of friendship with them thinking they didn't love me enough.

    Then I assumed my cousins in Mississippi, who very Southern and very conservative, of course disagreed with me, though I knew they were aware of my sexuality because my aunts are huge gossips... But then today I jokingly became boyfriends with a friend of mine on facebook (long story) and my Mississippi cousins congratulated me and told me they loved me.

    The tide is turning guys... There are really good days ahead of us icon_smile.gif


    That is beautiful! I know the feeling especially when it comes to church. There are good people around us that don't want us living in pain.