May 06, 2012 2:23 AM GMT
Okay, so here's my background. I have always considered myself straight, and had lived that way for 20 years. I was also a virgin, but I still thought I knew what I liked. I'm in college, and about 3 weeks ago I made a new friend next door to me. He ended up saying he was gay, and I didn't really care (I told him I was straight). I would hang out with him after school, and used to stay up talking to him until five in the morning every night.
Finally after five days of spending over probably 24 hours talking to him, I decided to lay on his bed and continue to talk to him until I fell asleep. In the morning after more talk in bed, he started resting his his hand closer and closer to my junk until he was on top of it...
I was both nervous and excited, because I'd never felt that from anyone else. He told me of how when he'd met me, he thought I was extremely attractive. I told him that no matter what happened, we could only be FWBs (that was the straight in me). He agreed and then we did a whole bunch of fun stuff (minus kissing and anal (we both agreed we didn't like anal)). So, this fun carried on for about the next week. One day, he asked me to kiss him (therefore giving my first kiss to him). I previously believed in "true love," so had held it off for that very special person. He said that I should give it to him; it should go to someone who cared deeply about me. As he said, "Why would you give it to some random college ho when you could give it to someone who cares about you?" I hesitated, but finally agreed and I learned how to make out that night.
Then for about two weeks, I would get head from this guy on a daily basis. I gave back a few times, because I didn't see it as fair that he had to do all the work. He was my first man, and I was his first man. We talked about all the adventures we'd have during summer break, and all the romantic love we would make. Then, something happened...
I caught a common cold because of all the late nights I was spending with him. I was literally out of the game for a weekend, and he ends up talking to some guy that is openly gay. At first I was not worried, but then he started telling me about how he believed in monogamy. I'm still not even sure if they're dating, but I've basically been cut out of his life. His text messages now consist of one word (or nothing at all), and he's always "busy" now.
I asked him what happened, and he said he wants to have someone he can openly call his partner (when we first started, I made him swear secrecy to what we were doing). So here's my problem, I can't afford to be openly "gay" because 1st: I'm not, and 2nd: I would have huge family controversies. He wants that open relationship, but I was providing all the benefits without any of the obligations.
So, what should I do if I think I "love" him now? I miss the guy, and I thought we made a pretty strong connection. Maybe it's not love, maybe it's that I'm missing all the fun we were having. He now spends all his free time with this other dude, and I have no idea what to say! I do feel pretty "used" now, and what I really want to say to him for making me feel that way is "fuck you buddy."
I'm holding back because he says that we're still "friends," but that the "with benefits" is now gone until his relationship is over (which he hopes doesn't happen). If he was my friend, would he start avoiding me and telling me he always has "plans" now? I'm just not sure what to do, and I think this would be the best group of people to come to.
If you made it through all this, I congratulate you. I'll 1-up you or try any way to show my gratitude.
Thanks,
A confused dude
Finally after five days of spending over probably 24 hours talking to him, I decided to lay on his bed and continue to talk to him until I fell asleep. In the morning after more talk in bed, he started resting his his hand closer and closer to my junk until he was on top of it...
I was both nervous and excited, because I'd never felt that from anyone else. He told me of how when he'd met me, he thought I was extremely attractive. I told him that no matter what happened, we could only be FWBs (that was the straight in me). He agreed and then we did a whole bunch of fun stuff (minus kissing and anal (we both agreed we didn't like anal)). So, this fun carried on for about the next week. One day, he asked me to kiss him (therefore giving my first kiss to him). I previously believed in "true love," so had held it off for that very special person. He said that I should give it to him; it should go to someone who cared deeply about me. As he said, "Why would you give it to some random college ho when you could give it to someone who cares about you?" I hesitated, but finally agreed and I learned how to make out that night.
Then for about two weeks, I would get head from this guy on a daily basis. I gave back a few times, because I didn't see it as fair that he had to do all the work. He was my first man, and I was his first man. We talked about all the adventures we'd have during summer break, and all the romantic love we would make. Then, something happened...
I caught a common cold because of all the late nights I was spending with him. I was literally out of the game for a weekend, and he ends up talking to some guy that is openly gay. At first I was not worried, but then he started telling me about how he believed in monogamy. I'm still not even sure if they're dating, but I've basically been cut out of his life. His text messages now consist of one word (or nothing at all), and he's always "busy" now.
I asked him what happened, and he said he wants to have someone he can openly call his partner (when we first started, I made him swear secrecy to what we were doing). So here's my problem, I can't afford to be openly "gay" because 1st: I'm not, and 2nd: I would have huge family controversies. He wants that open relationship, but I was providing all the benefits without any of the obligations.
So, what should I do if I think I "love" him now? I miss the guy, and I thought we made a pretty strong connection. Maybe it's not love, maybe it's that I'm missing all the fun we were having. He now spends all his free time with this other dude, and I have no idea what to say! I do feel pretty "used" now, and what I really want to say to him for making me feel that way is "fuck you buddy."
I'm holding back because he says that we're still "friends," but that the "with benefits" is now gone until his relationship is over (which he hopes doesn't happen). If he was my friend, would he start avoiding me and telling me he always has "plans" now? I'm just not sure what to do, and I think this would be the best group of people to come to.
If you made it through all this, I congratulate you. I'll 1-up you or try any way to show my gratitude.
Thanks,
A confused dude
