How Do You Define a Successful Relationship?

  • uncgymguy

    Posts: 27

    May 06, 2012 12:23 PM GMT
    I've been in a great relationship with a guy for about 6 years. He is truly a great friend and lover. We "get" each other and we still make each other laugh.

    What makes your dating style and/or relationship work?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 5:06 PM GMT
    What has always worked for me is complete and total honesty and hot and passionate sex. If either one of those fails, everything else gets out of balance. Keep both of those going strong, everything else will be fine.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 5:24 PM GMT
    I don't have a relationship... but I have my parents and grandparents to draw from.

    My grandfather has faithfully loved my grandmother for over 50 years. And not even in the "well I guess we're still together" way: he really and truly loves her and shows it in the way he treats her and talks about her. They are successful because they never thought that giving up was an option, never treated love as a perpetual state of romantic euphoria, and never expected the other person to be perfect.

    My grandfather's love works because he works at love.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 5:35 PM GMT
    I could say a lot about this, but it would only pertain to Bill and I and what works for us easily doesn't work for another.

    Great friend and lover? Check.

    Everything else is pretty subjective...

    We both love co-existing, which means each doing our own thing together, if that makes sense.
    We're monogamous (it requires both to want that in order for it to work), but that means little when considering all the successful relationships that are not.
    We have no secrets from each other. We gave up privacy for each other, then gave it back to each other as a gift of trust.

    I could go on but some readers may go into diabetic shock, lol.

    -Doug


  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 6:44 PM GMT
    Measure by happiness.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 8:00 PM GMT
    any relationship (romantic or not) can be measured/defined by how well it meets the mutual needs and desires of the parties involved.

    the most durable relationship of my life was successful in that we both grew up and met each others needs for a long time. i don't think all relationships should be measured by their duration to be "successful".

    what worked in that scenario was that we were opposites. he was a rock and i'm very flexible. we both needed what the other was as a man. of course, over time, the type of rock changed, and no one is limitless, so we evolved away from each other.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 10:04 PM GMT
    Larkin saidI don't have a relationship... but I have my parents and grandparents to draw from.

    My grandfather has faithfully loved my grandmother for over 50 years. And not even in the "well I guess we're still together" way: he really and truly loves her and shows it in the way he treats her and talks about her. They are successful because they never thought that giving up was an option, never treated love as a perpetual state of romantic euphoria, and never expected the other person to be perfect.

    My grandfather's love works because he works at love.


    Aww icon_smile.gif that sounds pretty amazing
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 10:10 PM GMT
    uncgymguy saidI've been in a great relationship with a guy for about 6 years. He is truly a great friend and lover. We "get" each other and we still make each other laugh.

    What makes your dating style and/or relationship work?


    It's successful if it keeps you from signing into REALJOCK.

    Just kidding . . . icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 10:16 PM GMT
    uncgymguy saidI've been in a great relationship with a guy for about 6 years. He is truly a great friend and lover. We "get" each other and we still make each other laugh.

    What makes your dating style and/or relationship work?


    On a serious note, your description makes sense. My mom and dad are great friends. I'm sure they don't tell each other everything--total honesty just doesn't work--but they share quite a bit. I've always said that my next boyfriend will first be a good friend.

    But finding someone who wants to build a friendship first is hard. I've met guys who want to fuck first. But of late I haven't met anyone who wants to be a friend first. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 10:25 PM GMT
    *** takes notes ***

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 07, 2012 1:28 AM GMT
    I think the best relationships work when there are absolutely no outside interference's including personal issues within each person.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 07, 2012 1:31 AM GMT
    One in which the two people are actually still speaking to one another. :-)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 07, 2012 1:44 AM GMT
    My first 10 year was successful in both sexual chemistry and humor. Listening to my bud laugh was like listening to my own echo. Sexually, the tension between us was obvious to both of us from the moment we met and I still lust for him all these years later.

    My 2nd 10 year was successful simply because we got each other. I've never known anyone who knew me so well. Even though there was not much sexual compatibility to that relationship, I think I 've never known a relationship more intimate.

    I miss the hell out of both of them.
  • PolaroidSwing...

    Posts: 1131

    May 07, 2012 1:55 AM GMT
    How+I+get+FJ+girls+to+like+me+.+Girls_55
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 07, 2012 3:20 AM GMT
    I pretty much agree with some of the posters above, that is these 2 main points:

    - great friend and lover
    - total honesty, no secrets from each other
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 07, 2012 3:26 AM GMT
    Am we, he and I happier on the whole for being together?
    Do we learn and grow just from being with one another?
    Do we aspire to do more for the other cause we want to make each other happy, without anything in return.
    Do we make love/still make love?
    Are we learning new things about each other, or are we bored with one another already?
    Does his absence make me worry for his well-being, and long for his return after so much time together?

    These are questions I ask myself after more than a year of being together; but for me, that's when these sort of questions begin to count the most.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 07, 2012 4:57 AM GMT
    Larkin saidI don't have a relationship... but I have my parents and grandparents to draw from.

    My grandfather has faithfully loved my grandmother for over 50 years. And not even in the "well I guess we're still together" way: he really and truly loves her and shows it in the way he treats her and talks about her. They are successful because they never thought that giving up was an option, never treated love as a perpetual state of romantic euphoria, and never expected the other person to be perfect.

    My grandfather's love works because he works at love.


    This is pretty much it. I couldn't have said it better myself.

    PS: No secrets, at all? I don't think that could work, even if it were possible. Which it isn't.
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    May 07, 2012 5:26 AM GMT
    uncgymguy saidI've been in a great relationship with a guy for about 6 years. He is truly a great friend and lover. We "get" each other and we still make each other laugh.

    What makes your dating style and/or relationship work?


    If he's there for me when I can't be there for myself, and vice versa, then that's a good relationship. I know it's simple and stupid probably, but that's me, lol.
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    May 07, 2012 5:32 AM GMT
    I vote for happiness as well!
  • ytOwen

    Posts: 298

    May 07, 2012 11:54 AM GMT
    I am not in a relationship, but I've heard ... ... ...

    Mutual Admiration is common characteristic.

    Owen!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 07, 2012 9:09 PM GMT
    When you know beyond any doubt that you'd rather be with your bf/partner than with anyone else.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 07, 2012 9:29 PM GMT
    A great relationship is one in which the %'s are not 50/50 but vary according to the situation given the strengths of each individual. Trust is the foundation and is sometimes hard to fine but essential if a relationship is to work. Common interests but also time given to develope your individual skills is also essential.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 07, 2012 9:51 PM GMT
    For me it's being open, caring and always trying to give a little more than I get. Mutual trust, respect and love.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 30, 2012 3:26 PM GMT
    know_wunder saidAm we, he and I happier on the whole for being together?
    Do we learn and grow just from being with one another?
    Do we aspire to do more for the other cause we want to make each other happy, without anything in return.
    Do we make love/still make love?
    Are we learning new things about each other, or are we bored with one another already?
    Does his absence make me worry for his well-being, and long for his return after so much time together?

    These are questions I ask myself after more than a year of being together; but for me, that's when these sort of questions begin to count the most.


    ^^THIS^^.......speaks volumes to ME. I couldn't put it any better!!
  • CTHS

    Posts: 135

    Aug 30, 2012 3:38 PM GMT
    A relationship is like a fart... if you have to force it, its probably shit anyway icon_lol.gif