Not "out" deliberately......

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    Does anyone have a family situation where one or more members are kept in dark deliberately about your sexuality?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 2:23 PM GMT
    Yea one, my crazy Evangelical uncle.

    But I dont really consider him family...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 5:27 PM GMT
    Still haven't told my pops about me, though I'm pretty sure he knows. Still waiting for the right time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 9:01 PM GMT
    Yeah everyone knows but my pop. My mom said don't tell him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 9:09 PM GMT
    My Dad and his entire family probably know, but I've never told them.
    It seemed kinda silly to point out a fight just waiting to happen, especially when his wife is the kind of woman who would have sent me off to a "get-straight" camp in my youth had I told them 6 years ago.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 9:12 PM GMT
    The only family members I ever actually told were my parents, and my favorite cousin and his wife. But that was 21 years ago, so I'm sure the rest of the family knows by now. I"ll never know if they know, though, cause I haven't been to a family function since coming out (never enjoyed them anyway - too religious).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 9:15 PM GMT
    As opposed to those that it just slipped your mind to tell
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 9:16 PM GMT
    MsclDrew saidAs opposed to those that it just slipped your mind to tell
    That's actually the reason I never told the rest of my family. Just never gave a fuck really.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 9:20 PM GMT
    By only coming out to one parent you are only going to cause more hurt feelings down the road in the one you didn't tell. Mainly that you didn't trust them or think highly enough of them.

    Besides, if you already have a family member you are out to then you are in a better position to come out completely, using them for support.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 9:29 PM GMT
    I know I should feel more shame for this, but since my father was an abusive alcoholic growing up and still beats his current wife, I am not sure if I really want to build bridges to him. So nah, still not gonna tell him. Ever. icon_confused.gif

    Now, anyone else gets to know, but I also don't wear a neon sign. /shrug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 9:38 PM GMT
    I came out to my parents and brother at age 13. Parents at first thought I was just confused because of my age. My brother was completely supportive immediately.

    There are many in my family that are homophobic religious republicans that my parents begged me not to tell. But once I turned 21 it gave me THE GREATEST pleasure in telling them at the annual family summer get togther.
    It was awesome! icon_biggrin.gif

    Tristan
  • austex85

    Posts: 572

    May 06, 2012 9:41 PM GMT
    I haven't told my parents or my brother (but my sister and cousins know)

    Parents - they're kind of old now and I'm not too close with them. Telling them would only strain relations at this point, and I don't want to be the cause of my mother going through some deep depression in her 60s.

    Brother - eventually I'll tell him, but at the moment, I see no benefit in doing so.

    Besides them, I have no qualms about letting people know about my sexuality.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    May 06, 2012 9:48 PM GMT
    no not at all
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 9:54 PM GMT
    The Arab side of my family are in the dark because I haven't spoken to them in about 5 years.

    I made a conscious decision to cut them out of my life so that awkward ' I fuck men Dad !' moment has not occurred. It's an alien concept to them and I doubt they would be accepting of it so I don't really see the point.

    I'm at a stage in my life where I'm completely comfortable with my sexuality and I don't want to introduce any sort of drama that would threaten that.

    As much as I like to think I'm in control of my emotions I know that an encounter with my Dad would make my world crumble since he's been the most important man in my life.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 10:35 PM GMT
    To be honest I wonder what my family thinks about me..
    Because my mom always tried to fix mariage for my two brothers eversince they turned 21-22y.. she kept nagging them to get married..
    But not once she said that I should get married or whatever..

    So as far as I know, only my nephew knows because of my former best friend -_-
  • prototype

    Posts: 194

    May 06, 2012 10:56 PM GMT
    Nah sorry man I'm out to everyone!

    But the term family for me is different. My frends are pretty much part of my immedate family which I've told!
    Also i doesn't hurt that I have a gay sister!
    but for cousins, aunts, and uncles from my dad's side of the family I don't care enough to keep in touch with so I really wouldn't care to say anything to them!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 11:17 PM GMT
    My folks don't know either.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 11:30 PM GMT
    Haven't told dad yet, and even though I'm out to my mom, I still don't feel comfortable discussing relationships with the older folks.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 06, 2012 11:58 PM GMT
    I'm not out to anyone in my family. icon_sad.gif