A last minute invitation I couldn't accept.................

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 07, 2012 3:07 PM GMT
    So a gay couple (guys in their 30's) moves in next door last year and we are friendly whenever we see each other outside. We offer to bring a good bottle of wine over sometime as a housewarming gift (they said they'd have us over when their house was ready to be seen). We had them over last year and they are nice guys, doing good things to their house. We see them and say hello every few months at best.

    So yesterday I'm out working in the front garden (hoses, broom, trowel - trimming, putting things in the rubbish can for trash pickup). I'm my usual sweaty mess when I work outside. One of the guys next door comes over and asks if we'd like to come to dinner at their house? I said that we would like that, and asked what day he was thinking about. He said, "Today" and I said, "Oh - well what time are you thinking about - since I have to get cleaned up and Bob isn't home yet." He then said he wanted us "Right now." I was thrown off a bit. He then said the other guests (other neighbors) were already there. I thanked him enthusiastically but had to decline. Bob wouldn't be home for two more hours, and we'd already planned on dinner out. I was going to finish up my yard work and hit the shower in about an hour. I cheerfully asked if we could have a rain check? The neighbor smiled and nodded.

    This could be a cultural thing - he is from India, or it could be that he is very casual and this is the way they do things. Or we could have been just an afterthought. Not sure what to think, but I was grateful to be invited anyway! I wonder if anyone else has ever faced this kind of invitation?ass
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    May 07, 2012 3:45 PM GMT
    It sounds like you were an afterthought. icon_sad.gif
  • Import

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    May 07, 2012 3:50 PM GMT
    I'd agree with the "afterthought".....thought

    all his other guests were already there? That would be awkward just showing up...last minute, as if he's doing u some kind of favor by inviting you. icon_rolleyes.gif

    he probably saw you outside, realized that u would probably notice the guests at his place, so in order to not look like a complete dick head, decided he should at least make an attempt to invite you.... that way he won't be hurting ur feelings by not getting an invite, knowing ful-well you were in no condition to attend such a social gathering....

    I'd be kind of put off by that. and would not count on them to be "friends" with you or Bob....and to just leave it at that.... Just because u are gay and they are gay, does not mean u have to be friends or have to socialize with eachother.
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    May 07, 2012 3:55 PM GMT


    Well.....icon_redface.gif


    We have on a rare occasion invited neighbours over for dinner like that. It was very spontaneous, like your neighbour. No planning whatsoever. As casual as it gets.
    Our nieghbours sometimes do this, too. One day a gal down the street was barbequing and anyone outside in their yards was casually waved over.
    Another neighbour made East Indian food and and her husband came knocking. We couldn't - too busy in the yard, so he came back with stacked plates. He did this with a few neighbours.

    Nice gesture.


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    May 07, 2012 3:58 PM GMT
    My entire life revolves around ikmpromptu everything. This would be a no-brainer for me. I'd cancel the previous dinner plans (as long as I hadn't invited other guests) and visit the neighbor.

    Impromptu free meal = Win. icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 07, 2012 4:15 PM GMT
    Did you just get cruised?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 07, 2012 4:17 PM GMT
    Claystation saidDid you just get cruised?


    Ha! I was thinking the same thing.
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    May 07, 2012 4:18 PM GMT
    Import saidI'd agree with the "afterthought".....thought

    all his other guests were already there? That would be awkward just showing up...last minute, as if he's doing u some kind of favor by inviting you. icon_rolleyes.gif

    he probably saw you outside, realized that u would probably notice the guests at his place, so in order to not look like a complete dick head, decided he should at least make an attempt to invite you.... that way he won't be hurting ur feelings by not getting an invite, knowing ful-well you were in no condition to attend such a social gathering....

    I'd be kind of put off by that. and would not count on them to be "friends" with you or Bob....and to just leave it at that.... Just because u are gay and they are gay, does not mean u have to be friends or have to socialize with eachother.


    well said
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    May 07, 2012 4:46 PM GMT
    ECnAZ said
    Claystation saidDid you just get cruised?


    Ha! I was thinking the same thing.

    More like cruised to be used.
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    May 07, 2012 4:51 PM GMT
    JoyfullyRandom said
    ECnAZ said
    Claystation saidDid you just get cruised?


    Ha! I was thinking the same thing.

    More like cruised to be used.
    That's the best way to be cruised. icon_wink.gif
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    May 07, 2012 4:55 PM GMT
    who cares if you were a after thought. its not like you guys are friends. at least he thought enough to ask you over. i think sometimes we put too much thought behind nothing.
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    May 07, 2012 6:00 PM GMT
    tumblr_lwh3ez1jGp1qccjmlo1_500.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 07, 2012 6:06 PM GMT
    ah I miss dinner parties... icon_sad.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 07, 2012 6:11 PM GMT
    Gregg, it isn't any big deal. I get asked by clients if I want to stay for dinner at various points when I'm talking to them and I've had neighbors who have asked,
    "if I would like supper". Never use "supper" (the term), but I would have taken it as a very positive thing. Glad he gave you a rain check.

    icon_biggrin.gif