I am so sorry for your losses, antijock *hugs*
I just can't believe the world is still like this in 2012. You think things would be in order or at least close to it. However, I am hopeful for the future.
Thank you Josh. That's very kind of you. Nothing to be sorry for, however, That's simply life. They were both great guys and I woudn't trade those decades even though they ended tragically. Plenty of people have that pain and more without ever having known the pleasure.
With my first guy, only his sister acknowledged our relationship at the funeral. Even though I was good friends with his mom and helped her through the loss of her husband, she was homophobic (once said she didn't think gay people should be allowed to teach children) and could only relate to the relationship of her son and me as good friends, even while we were in bed in her home or on their boat. My family knew us as we were, of course, but his lived on a deepwater canal just off the River Denial in Delray. They didn't treat me badly and only showed me love. But there is a subtle difference which is undeniable when the full reality of a relationship is refused to be recognized. And that hurt.
But this type of treatment will go far beyond 2012, even if our inalienable human rights are ever restored, it will be generations before they consider us as they consider themselves. Even if they don't mean to treat us badly, they simply do not know to treat us properly. Even if the fault isn't theirs individually, culturally, it will take a long time to put a proper finish on scars that are this engrained.