Guilty about being gay?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 08, 2012 5:06 AM GMT
    Anyone else feel guilty about being gay?

    I'm serious... I want to be straight.. Don't know what to do... Thought about suicide. Not joking. Don't fuck around. What should I do?
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    May 08, 2012 5:09 AM GMT
    It's something that passes. When I first found out I was gay (a couple of months ago) I was a bit bummed out for a bit. Then I realized it's something I cannot change so there's no reason to get upset about it.

    The world has many types of people: straight, gay, bisexual, and transgender. I just fit into one of those categories and it shouldn't affect anyone else.

    At the end of the day you should be happy with yourself. So what if you're attracted to men? It's not the worst thing in the world and "this too shall pass."
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    May 08, 2012 5:10 AM GMT
    Don't think about suicide number one!

    And honestly, a lot of us would have gone through wanting to be straight but have you thought why you want to be straight? Is it because society wants you that way or do you honestly want to be that way? You need to calmly think about these things and then just accept yourself however you are.

    It's a very rough and difficult road, at first I used to tell myself that the reason I watched gay porn was because I was curious of how big I was compared to other guys and not because I was gay. There's a lot of denial and self-loathing. Just don't do anything to hurt yourself because that is definitely the wrong way to go. You need to start trying to figure out who you are and accept yourself.

    I'm not saying it's easy but you have to try.
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    May 08, 2012 5:10 AM GMT
    What happens if you're straight?
  • A_1991

    Posts: 366

    May 08, 2012 5:10 AM GMT
    lol dude just accept it. It is not going to change any time soon. Might as well come out and not waste your time acting straight and regretting it later when your old or when you knocked up a chick and have her kids and tell her your gay.

    Yeah it would be easier if we all could be straight, but deal with it! Deal with the cards you have been dealt with.
  • A_1991

    Posts: 366

    May 08, 2012 5:12 AM GMT
    unfounded7 saidWhat happens if you're straight?


    you get pussy!
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    May 08, 2012 5:15 AM GMT
    i do

    but listen to this, and youll feel better

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    May 08, 2012 5:15 AM GMT
    Yeah I do. Suicide is bad, don't do it.
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    May 08, 2012 5:17 AM GMT
    guide_me_home saidAnyone else feel guilty about being gay?

    I'm serious... I want to be straight.. Don't know what to do... Thought about suicide. Not joking. Don't fuck around. What should I do?


    First I must tell you suicide is definately NOT the answer. There are free resources out there that can help you sort this out like http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ . Please seek their help as they are professionals.


    I did for a long time. Not since I came out though and realized I can't change who I am and at the end of the day I wouldn't want to anymore. You can't feel guilty for something you were born as and can't control. There is NOTHING wrong with being gay and nothing to be ashamed of. People are more supportive then you think out there.

    I got help and I hope you get help too b/c it does get better. If you ever want to talk PM me but please also reach out to the website I gave to you. It helped me and it will help you if you let it.

    Life is great for me now.
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    May 08, 2012 5:34 AM GMT
    Yes, I did feel guilty at first because I didn't want to hurt my parents. Now, I realize I've got to live my life for myself.
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    May 08, 2012 6:59 AM GMT
    guide_me_home saidAnyone else feel guilty about being gay?

    I'm serious... I want to be straight.. Don't know what to do... Thought about suicide. Not joking. Don't fuck around. What should I do?


    Don't do the suicide thing would be my advice. Religious people in America are usually not good counselors about gay issues because they usually have their own issues and agendas they are dealing with which makes non-objective, but one of my friends did share a verse in his belief scriptures with me the other day that I had never heard of before and it was a verse about how long the God in my friend's religion actually wanted us human beings to live and I was shocked! Gen. 3:6 or 6:3, I can't remember which one it was. But any way, I just remember that it was impactful upon me when I read it and it was very interesting.
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    May 08, 2012 7:04 AM GMT
    guide_me_home saidAnyone else feel guilty about being gay?

    I'm serious... I want to be straight.. Don't know what to do... Thought about suicide. Not joking. Don't fuck around. What should I do?


    Not guilty so much as I hate that society doesn't accept it and I just can't be me at ease without worrying about being called a fag in public for kissing a guy. That parts sucks but I'd rather deal than deny that I like guys and cock lol. Plus eventually people will start to accept gay people like they did black people and interracial couples. We are pioneer gays for future generations. Pretty soon society will be picking on something else, like god knows what. Lol society is just bored with nothing to do, miserable about their personal stuff like the economy and where they stand financially. But not worth killing yourself over. If you like girls & guys then your bi and should like fucking a chick too, experiment with it. There are a lot of bi guys, even closeted ones. I hate pussy & tatties eww lol.
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    May 08, 2012 11:51 AM GMT
    u should be gulity,NOT FOR BORNED GAY,but whine how hard is ur life and so suck u gonna throw ur life away,do u now that so many ppl around the world dead for so many reason?do u know how many gay ppl harrassed every single day till they forced to quit their school and work?If u still have hope on urself,u should join the LGBT centres or watever u can find to help those gay kids.
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    May 08, 2012 12:03 PM GMT
    Hang in there buddy. There are a lot of guys on this forum (and in the world) who feel or have felt the same way as you feel (including myself).
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    May 08, 2012 12:06 PM GMT
    I don't feel a bit guilty about being gay. I AM GAY AND I LOVE IT!!! If people cannot accept you for who you are--they can go fuck themselves...if they can get their limp noodles to stand up.
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    May 08, 2012 12:20 PM GMT
    To the OP I definitely understand where you're coming from.

    I think if homosexuality was more widely accepted many people wouldn't even think twice about it.

    It might help if you keep in mind that your attraction is as big or as small as you want it to be in terms of defining who you are.

    Just think about it.

    Are you just a gay guy, or are you a guy who plays piano, rockclimb, bowl, who just happens to like other guys?

    perception plays a big difference. Good luck bro
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    May 08, 2012 12:44 PM GMT
    There is nothing to feel guilty about. Don't kill yourself.
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    May 08, 2012 12:49 PM GMT
    The only reason you feel guilty about being gay is some church man wagged his finger at everyone and said feel guilty about it and so they did. There is nothing wrong with homosexual acts or actions. The whole of ancient greek culture functioned on this intimate level of male bonding. This is just a product of the Christian church whose prime weapon on everything physical is that you should feel GUILTY. And those people are truely the sickest ones out there, telling people gay or stregith that natural, primal instincts are wrong and bad and you shuold feel guilty about them. No wonder everyone today needs to be medicated; thay can't deal with how horrible they think they are otherwise!

    When you see a guy in the locker room changing clothes under a couple towels: that's the result of guilt and embarrssment he has bene rasied to feel toward his own body. It is false, phoney and, in spite of the churhc's insistance to the contrary, a most unnatural state of mind.

    Celebrate you body and your physical and emotional enjoyment of other males. If you feel guilty, the thought-Nazi's are winning. Do NOT believe it.
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    May 08, 2012 12:52 PM GMT
    guide_me_home saidAnyone else feel guilty about being gay?

    I'm serious... I want to be straight.. Don't know what to do... Thought about suicide. Not joking. Don't fuck around. What should I do?


    Suicide won't make you straight (that's no joke either). I relate.

    I don't know what to do either, so I put it on the back burner for years after I wound up HIV positive. I realize now it's not about sex; it's about what kind of friend I can be. Do I want to be known for giving the best blow job or do I want to be known for genuinely caring about someone regardless of who they are or how they look? Being gay forced me to acknowledge this importance.

    There are worse things to fear in life than being gay. How vulnerable being gay has made me become over the years. I was attacked recently by someone who took advantage of my gayness and put me in the hospital for eye surgery because he wanted to steal my computer. It was horrid.

    Put sex on the back burner for awhile. You are not what you do sexually, sexuality is something you like to do. Sex is a gift and clearly you seem to know that part. If you are meant to utilize it for it's God given purpose you will someday even if you remain gay (notice I do not assign it a purpose). For now you clearly are not ready for that so try something else.

    And don't kill yourself! There are a million songs written for you about that. Life is going to get hard, but if it were easy you might find yourself bored instead. Step outside and find yourself a hobby you like. Make that your goal by the end of the week. Don't live life so fast either! Take it slow and you will enjoy it more.

    What I am trying to say if you haven't been able to tell already is that sex is really not that important. God doesn't require you to do it one way or the other and that is the Truth!!!! Peace little brotha!
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    May 08, 2012 1:03 PM GMT
    guide_me_home saidAnyone else feel guilty about being gay?

    I'm serious... I want to be straight.. Don't know what to do... Thought about suicide. Not joking. Don't fuck around. What should I do?


    Pack your bags and move.

    Move to a place where being gay is accepted. Surround yourself with friends that love you and accept you. Go somewhere you can meet other gay guys and where there is a possibility for relationships in public.
  • newscguy3

    Posts: 3

    May 12, 2012 8:09 AM GMT
    I can definitely sympathize with your situation. I still haven't told most of my family that I'm gay yet. I had the same thoughts of suicide that you did for quite some time. However, there is nothing wrong with being gay. If you want to be straight, ask yourself why? Is it because you're trying to fit a mold that someone else has in their mind of how you should be? Is it because you want to be "normal" by societies standards?

    What you need to realize is that you are who you are, and you were gay long before you realized it. The friends you've made and the family, if they love you, will be shocked at first, maybe even confused, but if they love you, they will accept you for who you are. Being gay doesn't change why they like you and why they care about you. When you're feeling this way, seek shelter and comfort among those who love you. Don't be left alone to your thoughts either, talk to someone you trust and who cares deeply about you.

    I hope you hang in there, but remember that suicide isn't ever the answer. If you'd like to talk sometime, let me know icon_smile.gif
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    May 12, 2012 8:18 AM GMT
    I was in your situation when I was 18 last year.

    It was tough and I took it out on RJers, but I eventually came to my senses and realized that the reality I perceive as better isn't really "better"...

    in fact, with guys, less drama, less incentive to pay (mostly 50/50), people will always be giving you attention.. .etc.

    Just go out and enjoy life.

    Yes, the gay culture is HARSH, CRUEL, but also LOVING in a very deep way.

    I found it at a BDSM bar... honestly.. just go and explore.
  • Yousha

    Posts: 27

    May 12, 2012 7:18 PM GMT
    Emesis54 saidHang in there buddy. There are a lot of guys on this forum (and in the world) who feel or have felt the same way as you feel (including myself).

    true....................
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    May 12, 2012 7:33 PM GMT
    I was in a stage similar to yours for a long time, even pondered suicide for a long time. Handling with rejection seems so harsh. I can tell you that at the moment some people that are close to me know, and they all accepted without a problem - I even proved them that we don't all fit in the "big gay stereotype". I've come to appreciate the fact of being gay, we don't get it as easy as other people may have, so we go through challenges that many straight people haven't even got the slightest clue. I've grown so much due to the fact of going through all of this alone, there IS always a bright side to things, try to look at it, and stop looking at all the shit this brings. It's not always easy, but fuck it, I like a good fight! And hey, when people think they are superior to you just because of your sexual preference, there's no better feeling that surpassing them, without even giving a fuck about it, 'cause you know you're better than the people who still give a shit about who you want to sleep with.

    Enjoy life man, why should you feel guilty about something that is not on your power to change (or that you've chosen)? It is, what it is .. don't waste time feeling bad about it, 'cause that won't lead to any good path, believe me!

    Best of luck man, anything you need, just shout icon_wink.gif
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    May 12, 2012 9:20 PM GMT
    I understand where you are coming from. A lot of us do, having been there ourselves. The majority of gays that have self-destructive feelings experience them not due to a lack of social acceptance, but a lack of self-acceptance. For many, the source of this lack of self-acceptance doesn't come from the fact that we don't want to be gay because we want kids and a family, but from the notion that we are living in sin, apart from God's will. In so, simply being ourselves is against what we know to be the source of life and the basis of everything that we are; however, this doesn't have to be the case.

    I was pretty torn up about my identity for a number of years. I had a lot of self-hatred and anguish due to the way I had turned out. Much of this was religiously based, and the same goes for many others. I was raised pretty conservatively Christian in the South, so I had a lot working against me. During a few sermons homosexuality was condemned and most of my friends were openly anti-gay. I projected the ministers' interpretations and the immature behavior of my friends to be God's view of homosexuality. In short, I naively took my society's disdain for being gay and attributed it to God. In retrospect, it was an incredibly moronic thing to do, but when you are raised in an environment like that with no good role models it tends to happen.


    Due to an intense belief of the incompatibility of homosexuality and Christianity I attempted to experience each with total exclusion of the other, but only half-heartedly. Things could not really have gone much worse. The majority of my time spent going out and meeting guys tended to end in emotionally vacuous hook-ups, while my time in church was spent in deep regret over who I was and what I had done rather than experiencing the love of God. By trying to have both without ever coming to terms with who I was, I ended up with neither. In turn, I began to lose interest in my faith while trying to shut out the concept of being gay. To compound matters, I was also in the military before DADT was repealed, so I had no friends I could talk to without risking being kicked out. It was a very somber existence, and a very dark time.


    What finally pulled me out of these depths was an older gay couple I met after I moved north for college. They were very unashamed for their love for each other and they were proud, practicing Christians. They exemplified everything that I thought could not possibly coexist. They had been in a relationship for nearly 30 years, they were not timid about who they were, they were Christian, and even more than that- they were happy. It was from them that I began to understand that being gay and being Christian are not mutually exclusive and that Jesus never condemned homosexuality. Rather, He said the greatest commandments were to love God and to love your neighbor; against these there is no commandment. I had always heard that, but never believed due to how I was brought up. Their relationship was a manifestation of this truth, and seeing them finally opened my eyes to a world of possibility and hope.


    Suicide destroys a family like nothing else. The hardest thing for a parent to experience is to bury one of their children, because it upsets the natural order of life. EVERYONE you are close to and most of those you know will blame themselves for it. By trying to dump your pain, all you will do is place it on those that love you, but it will be a far heavier burden than the one you currently bear. Although you may feel as if you are just trying to find a way out, it is one of the most selfish things imaginable.


    Although you may not feel it, you have much to live for. There were many times I didn’t believe that and wanted to end it, but I kept going. My life has gotten so much better with the love and support of friends and family after I came out. I have never met a single person whose life didn’t get better.


    I empathize with you. By the simple fact of what you have had to endure, I respect you. Please, if you ever feel like you don’t want to go on get in touch with me. The same goes for anyone on here that feels the same way. I pray for you all.