What defines the success of a date and/orrelationship?

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    May 09, 2012 6:03 AM GMT
    Find a distraction to not study so I thought I would post this.

    Just curious what other people think on the subject. I have heard many opinions regarding dates and relationships and some of them are:

    -The first date should always involve some sort of fun in the bed.
    -Sex is what starts the path to dating and possibly a relationship.
    -Go with the flow.
    -Get to know the person first before jumping in the bed.
    -Have sex first ask questions later.


    In my opinion I believe one should get to know the person first before jumping into the bed and take things slow. Seeing if you click with the person through go out on a series of dates. Activities where you get to know the person for who they are. Such activities like: board games, going to a museum or movies, playing video games, going out hiking even going running or to the gym. Doing something to see if the person is someone you could see yourself date or even have a relationship with.

    Doing such activities I believe helps first develop a bond between the person that leads eventually, if it does, to something more which eventually involves sex, as I do believe sexual compatibility is such as important as personality and the "click" that can happen. Furthermore I feel by doing this first will make sex with that person have even meaning and so much better than just a one night stand, NSA or hook up.

    Yet many guys I have met always seem to see Sex (ranging from oral to anal or some sexual activity) has the first thing before doing any of these activities. Don’t get me wrong I have believed this when I was younger but I have realized this does not really work, in my personal opinion. Maybe I am wrong.

    It is frustrating however that although I do not go seeking dates or relationships, guys do approach me and flat out ask me if I want come over and have some fun, or I get the sense they are talking to me with the sole objective with wanting to get laid. Maybe I am overthinking this, however based on the times this has happened to me, I do not think so.

    Is possibly that it is just my age range or is it something that is typical in the gay culture.

    In this reflection I am not bringing looks into the subject yet I do know for a lot of people it does play a big factor. For me it does, but this I feel is in our nature in regard to what type of guy(s) we are into.

    Looking forward for the feedback and opinions of others,
    APV
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    May 09, 2012 12:10 PM GMT
    A successful date is one that you'd want to see each other again, and not to hurt each other. Sounds simple enough, right?
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    May 09, 2012 12:58 PM GMT
    A successful relationship is one where you don't get tired physically, emotionally or any other way.
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    May 09, 2012 12:59 PM GMT
    Anonymousherefornothing saidA successful relationship is one where you don't get tired physically, emotionally or any other way.


    Wrong.

    Relationships require work...and it isn't always going to be sunshine and rainbows.
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    May 09, 2012 1:26 PM GMT
    a great relationship is when u can be yourself and feel comfortable about it....its when the other person makes u want to be a better person....its about laughing ..connecting....trusting...consideration ...and when holding their hand connects right to your heart......its seeing a text from them and u immediately smile..its a kiss that makes u feel special....it wondering what they are doing in the middle of the day ....its feeling their pain when they are down ..sick..or grieving....its feeling alive inside ....its knowng this person has your back ...he is your go to person no matter what........

    on the other side...its loving him even when he is an ass...its accepting each other as is because noone is perfect.....its communicating whats in your heart and knowing he will listen....its putting him in the middle of a room full of hot men and knowing he will never stray cause his love and heart is all yours.....hmmmm ..where is this man....please send him my way..icon_smile.gif
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    May 09, 2012 1:43 PM GMT
    7Famark said
    Anonymousherefornothing saidA successful relationship is one where you don't get tired physically, emotionally or any other way.


    Wrong.

    Relationships require work...and it isn't always going to be sunshine and rainbows.


    Agreed.
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    May 09, 2012 2:57 PM GMT
    Xarusan saidWhat defines the success of a date and/orrelationship?
    The hotness of the guys.
    joshua.jpg
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    May 09, 2012 3:04 PM GMT
    I think it's when you could talk or not talk forever and still find things to not talk about...

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    May 09, 2012 3:19 PM GMT
    The success of a date or a relationship is defined by what you become. If as a result you become a better person, a more content person, with greater resolve and sense of meaning, that is success. Love and hard work and sex by themselves are not enough. All this dilemma about when to have sex and if we should play a board game first really misses the point. Observe instead your own transformation (or lack there-of) from the moment someone enters your life.