Getting played

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2008 2:00 AM GMT
    Even the best of us get played.

    I thought I could spot a player but they come in all shape and sizes. It kinda goes like this. I met a guy on here and we dated hit it off and got it off more times than not. I fell for him opened up to him. Then got dumped by him. All in two weeks. Incredible. I thought I was pretty savvy but shit happens...Right?

    Should I snub him or be friends? That's friends like "Hey on the street"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2008 2:02 AM GMT
    no, you should come over here and let me soothe your hurt feelings ...there, there now! ... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2008 2:03 AM GMT
    Do you still want him as a friend? In two weeks he dogged you out and disrespected you.

    I guess it all depends how strong your relationship was withing those 2 weeks.
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    Jul 22, 2008 2:36 AM GMT
    Sorry you're feeling badly about this - you're hurting right now - but know what? Keep thinking, "next!" and go out and do fun stuff - have a great time with friends, work out - go places - live your life - and you'll find out there are so many great guys out there that you're going to meet. You have to believe this! I just met a great guy from RJ a few days ago. It will happen to you - just let it!
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    Jul 22, 2008 2:40 AM GMT
    Bummer man. That's gotta hurt on some level. Take the highroad and chalk it up as one of life's unpleasant experiences and hopefully you learned from it. I say keep it mutual and have some class about the situation.

    If you see the guy then acknowledge him with a simple hello or whatever. There's no reason why you can't be civil and adult when seeing him. Snubbing him just doesn't seem like something a classy looking guy like you would do.

    For the record, I've never had the option of being played so I can't really fully grasp the hurt you are going though. Forgive my ignornace for it is truly blissfull
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    Jul 22, 2008 2:43 AM GMT
    Just let this one go. And if you happen to see him, at least be cordial.
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    Jul 22, 2008 2:45 AM GMT
    I agree with HighVoltage.

    Cordial.

    Adult. (And not in the "Bom-Chicka-Wah-Wah" way)

    I just got played too. I know it hurts.

    I also know there are a lot of people outside of our community who hate us just because we are who we are, so I don't see a lot of reason for us to hate on each other too. Lotta hate.

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    Jul 22, 2008 2:47 AM GMT
    sorry dude. we all get played at one time, and we all continue to live. keep it moving to the next one. good luck.
  • MuslDrew

    Posts: 463

    Jul 22, 2008 2:52 AM GMT
    I'd try to be cordial. You never know what other situations you'll wind up in with him. You'll feel comfortable in his presence.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2008 2:55 AM GMT
    You fell for him in 2 weeks? Hmmmm.....
  • swimbikerun

    Posts: 2835

    Jul 22, 2008 2:57 AM GMT
    Ok, I waded through every post but have yet to hear details!
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    Jul 22, 2008 4:02 AM GMT
    I'm with Vineyard.
    The last time I "fell" for someone in two weeks it was a disaster.

    But I'm also of the opinion that no matter what you can't have too many friends, or at least acquaintences.

    And I don't believe there's ever a need to be a dick. So be nice, be cordial, and go get the next one, Tiger.

    ;-)
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    Jul 22, 2008 4:08 AM GMT
    Seriously be cordial and next time you do see him on the streets or something, TOTALLY play it like "HEY! What's up? How are you? What's going on?" Seriously it TOTALLY messes with them. And you weren't rude about ANYTHING!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2008 4:17 AM GMT
    Tired of getting played? Now get rid of that pesky Playa for good with the new PlayaHata-3000 a bargain at only three monthly payments of $399,999.99 plus shipping and handling.
    Photobucket

    Call now and well include the PlayHata-Classic for free! Photobucket PlayaHata-Classic: For when it's gotta be up close and personal.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2008 5:32 AM GMT
    Thoughts of homicide aside, I would just try and work through it. Don't give in to drama, but don't be his buddy either.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2008 5:42 AM GMT
    I hope you don't give up being nice guy sam that you are. But hey-- he must have his reasons. x
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2008 5:44 AM GMT
    Delete him into the Trash Basket!!!!!!! Forever!
  • Squarejaw

    Posts: 1035

    Jul 22, 2008 5:49 AM GMT
    To be honest, I'm not sure what the other guy did wrong. You met, had sex, got to know each other, and he decided he didn't want to pursue it as a romantic relationship. That's part of the dating experience. Nothing inherently wrong in that story so far.

    Did he lie to you? Disrespect you in some way?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2008 6:02 AM GMT
    Two weeks!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2008 6:17 AM GMT
    Squarejaw saidTo be honest, I'm not sure what the other guy did wrong. You met, had sex, got to know each other, and he decided he didn't want to pursue it as a romantic relationship. That's part of the dating experience. Nothing inherently wrong in that story so far.

    Did he lie to you? Disrespect you in some way?


    Oh quit being so wise, mature and logical about it. You're derailing perfectly good big gay drama. Don't make me pull your tail. icon_wink.gif
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Jul 22, 2008 7:09 AM GMT
    Don't put a label on it

    you met the guy... had some positive dates
    some sex involved and it ended relatively amicably
    He's made it clear that he doesn't want to continue

    If you say that you've been "played" it will only make you angry at him
    I don't think he specifically went out of his way to dump you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2008 8:35 AM GMT
    I've get lots of romantic proposals during concert seasons-- yeah, so they can be my +1 in all the events I get invited to. I end up getting multiple dates who I make pay for the drinks! LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2008 12:06 PM GMT
    Call me naive, but what is the term "played" mean?

    I think I can parse some of it out, but it also sounds a lot like just dating -- you meet, date some, may or may not have sex and then if things don't work out, you move on. While I'm not terribly thrilled with the "move on" part usually, it happens and I'd just chalk it up to "dating".

    Is it about intent? Is the idea of being "played" mean the guy dated you with only an intent to use you for sex and then dump you while leading you on it could be more? Something more subtle (or gross)?
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    Jul 22, 2008 12:22 PM GMT
    a1972guy saidSeriously be cordial and next time you do see him on the streets or something, TOTALLY play it like "HEY! What's up? How are you? What's going on?" Seriously it TOTALLY messes with them. And you weren't rude about ANYTHING!


    That's good advice.....The best thing to take the cool high road....smiles....(real ones)..."what's up"?!!....Who needs to be angry for being rejected or played? You tried and you found out things didn't work. It was an honest attempt....and the other guy wasn't.

    He will have to live with how he acted towards you, and you will feel good knowing you did the right thing.

    BTW......I have had 2 guys in the last year who played me.....and now they both have come back to me apoligizing for the "misunderstanding" and seeing if we could try it again.

    Both guys give me boners. But it ain't going to be that easy for them......Back up your blah blah with actions and then I will reconsider.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 22, 2008 12:24 PM GMT
    You got it exactly right, aagerry. That's being played: being led to believe one intention when the real intention is something different.

    Niceguysam, I don't think you got played. I think you just experienced the normal dating process. It happens. Quite a lot sometimes. More than humanly possible, even.