Dead Mothers

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    May 13, 2012 2:51 PM GMT
    Is anyone else going through Mother's Day without a mother? If so, how old were you when she died? What are your thoughts?
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    May 13, 2012 4:08 PM GMT
    I'm glad you started this thread, because celebrating Mother's Day is difficult when your mother is no longer around.

    Four years ago today was the last time I spoke to my mother. She died two weeks later, one month before her 70th birthday. Her death inspired me to write my book of short stories, many of them honoring her and all that she went through with my father and more. One story, the second to the last in the book, is entitled "Mother's Day." I wrote it a year after her death.

    I noticed that CBS had a story this morning called "Mother's Day without a mother."

    http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-3445_162-57433336/nancy-giles-mothers-day-without-a-mother/

    What I'll do is go out and celebrate for the time my mother was here. Do something peaceful. She was such a beautiful woman, I don't know how I came out of her. Happy Mother's Day, mom. icon_smile.gif

    momin80s.jpg
    Mom in the 80s after picking me up at the Norfolk, VA airport

    momin70s.jpg
    Mom in the 70s sitting next to some goonie, red-headed kid. ;-)
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    May 13, 2012 4:09 PM GMT
    wrestlervic saidI'm glad you started this thread, because celebrating Mother's Day is difficult when your mother is no longer around.

    Four years ago today was the last time I spoke to my mother. She died two weeks later. Her death inspired me to write my book of short stories, many of them honoring her and all that she went through with my father and more. One story, the second to the last in the book, is entitled "Mother's Day." I wrote it a year after her death.

    I noticed that CBS had a story this morning called "Mother's Day without a mother."

    http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-3445_162-57433336/nancy-giles-mothers-day-without-a-mother/

    What I'll do is go out and celebrate for the time my mother was here. Do something peaceful. She was such a beautiful woman, I don't know how I came out of her. Happy Mother's Day, mom. icon_smile.gif

    momin80s.jpg
    What a sweet looking MOM!
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    May 13, 2012 4:29 PM GMT
    It is a sad day. I lost my mom a few years back and Mother's Day is my least favorite day of the year. I make it a point to stay busy and not dwell on what was. I'm having company tonight for dinner, all of us in the same boat.
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    May 13, 2012 4:42 PM GMT
    Lost my mother when I was six. It is always a sad day. But fill it with the memories of how she showed her love for you. THEN, why not take some flowers to some mom in a nursing home who didn't get a card or a visit. It does help.
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    May 13, 2012 5:47 PM GMT
    I feel very conflicted today.
    I remember the good in my mother, which was truly GOOD, indeed. I do believe any "good" in myself (for what ever its worth) came from her example; Things I look back on and feel touched by. Compassion, helpfulness, artistry.
    Unfortunately I can't forget the bad, and there was a lot of it. It's difficult to suppress bad memories and replace them with gratitude and love. Forgiveness is partly accepting the events of the past can't be changed, but forgetting those events is something different.

    She was a complicated woman. Life threw some shit her way, and coped the best way she knew how. Unfortunately, she surrendered to her dark side too often and her family was a witness to the worst of it.

    She is at peace now.

    I am jealous of the guys whose moms provided stability in their lives. You are fortunate.

    My mother was the template for the good in my character, because I steered away from many of her bad traits. My sister learned to become like her. I learned to become almost nothing like her, and that is her gift to me.


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    May 13, 2012 6:01 PM GMT
    I lost my mother over 8 years ago. She always told us that she was going to live until she was 80. So we celebrated her 80th birthday with a party that started on Friday and went till Sunday so that way the whole family including neices, nephews and close friends could join us. She died in a car accident 5 days later. She was a terrific lady and had many close friends and was the glue that held our whole family together. We miss her very much. Today, I went and took flowers to the cemetery and was shocked to see so many others that had brought flowers to her. Tomorrow, I am going to go pick them up as they have to be off the grave markers by 2pm every Monday for lawn mowing and take them to the nursing home.
  • drypin

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    May 13, 2012 6:12 PM GMT
    Mom passed two years ago. It hurts far less than I expected, but partly because here in Germany I am not subject to the onslaught of advertising surrounding the event. I miss her laugh, her smile, her love of games (though she could become incredibly competitive at times), her encyclopedic knowledge of trivia (we nicknamed her the "Guess Goddess" because she would pull random factoids out of her ass to win Trivial Pursuit, no matter which version we played), and her love, as she expressed it in warm hugs, tender caresses and unannounced kisses.
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    May 13, 2012 6:21 PM GMT
    My Mother died in 1985-I was 22.She died right before Christmas.It's been a long time,.
    She was a force to be reckoned with .Barely five feet tall but an iron will.I get the artistic side of my nature from her.She was a strong woman, but also hilarious[both my parents were]...one thing I am most grateful for was that although they were very strict with me [which I am so grateful for now-I have never done drugs in my life because they put the fear of God into me..they were not religious that's just a figure of speech] I was allowed to read or see anything I wanted."If your old enough to ask for it,Your old enough to read it."
    I miss both my parents very much.I consider myself extraordinarily lucky.They had a very happy marriage.
    I still occassionally have dreams about my Mother.I learned so much from both my parents but one that pops into my mind right now is "A sense of humour is a powerful weapon"
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    May 13, 2012 6:51 PM GMT
    Dead Mothers is your thread title on Mother's Day?

    Sorry for those with unresolved issues with their moms.
    Sorry for those who lost their moms when they were very young.
    At whatever age we might be when we bury our moms, we have lost them too soon.

    RIP Mom. You will always live in my heart. I love you.

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    May 13, 2012 7:56 PM GMT
    n8698u saidI feel very conflicted today.
    I remember the good in my mother, which was truly GOOD, indeed. I do believe any "good" in myself (for what ever its worth) came from her example; Things I look back on and feel touched by. Compassion, helpfulness, artistry.
    Unfortunately I can't forget the bad, and there was a lot of it. It's difficult to suppress bad memories and replace them with gratitude and love. Forgiveness is partly accepting the events of the past can't be changed, but forgetting those events is something different.

    She was a complicated woman. Life threw some shit her way, and coped the best way she knew how. Unfortunately, she surrendered to her dark side too often and her family was a witness to the worst of it.

    She is at peace now.

    I am jealous of the guys whose moms provided stability in their lives. You are fortunate.

    My mother was the template for the good in my character, because I steered away from many of her bad traits. My sister learned to become like her. I learned to become almost nothing like her, and that is her gift to me.


    I could have written this verbatim! But she still lives, I think....
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    May 13, 2012 8:21 PM GMT
    n8698u saidI feel very conflicted today.
    I remember the good in my mother, which was truly GOOD, indeed. I do believe any "good" in myself (for what ever its worth) came from her example; Things I look back on and feel touched by. Compassion, helpfulness, artistry.
    Unfortunately I can't forget the bad, and there was a lot of it. It's difficult to suppress bad memories and replace them with gratitude and love. Forgiveness is partly accepting the events of the past can't be changed, but forgetting those events is something different.

    She was a complicated woman. Life threw some shit her way, and coped the best way she knew how. Unfortunately, she surrendered to her dark side too often and her family was a witness to the worst of it.

    She is at peace now.

    I am jealous of the guys whose moms provided stability in their lives. You are fortunate.

    My mother was the template for the good in my character, because I steered away from many of her bad traits. My sister learned to become like her. I learned to become almost nothing like her, and that is her gift to me.




    Beautifully put.

    My story is somewhat similar, however, I cannot remember the good in my own mom. I can only remember the negative, and that is sad.

    My mom died in 1997 and only 5 people came for the wake at the funeral home and the graveside service. You reap what you sow, I suppose.

    Hate to add to the less-than-upbeat postings here, however, this is what I endured and remember.

    (If a similar forum comes out to remember dads for Father's Day, I'll write plenty and that will not be very pretty either)
  • cageym

    Posts: 99

    May 13, 2012 9:06 PM GMT
    This is my first Mother's Day without my Mom; she died last October. Mom was just a few weeks shy of her 89th birthday and didn't die with unresolved family issues or any of that. She was ready and that helped all of us deal with it. She was an impressive woman and did a great job as a mother. I miss her a lot.
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    May 13, 2012 9:08 PM GMT
    Sending good vibes to all you guys who are missing your mom or are otherwise a bit sad today. Big hugs from NC.
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    May 13, 2012 9:20 PM GMT
    swimguychicago saidIs anyone else going through Mother's Day without a mother? If so, how old were you when she died? What are your thoughts?

    She died in 1992, age 75, when I was 43. I think about both my late parents a lot, I really don't use Mother's Day for that purpose, don't give her more thought today than I usually do.
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    May 13, 2012 9:25 PM GMT
    Mom passed just a few weeks ago. Missing her every day.
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    May 13, 2012 9:26 PM GMT
    crsonoma saidMom passed just a few weeks ago. Missing her every day.

    awwww... icon_cry.gif
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    May 13, 2012 9:32 PM GMT
    It is the wound that never heals.

    My mom passed away July of last year at the very young age of 52. Ovarian cancer. I felt almost afraid that Mother's Day would come. Fortunately, a friend of mine took me hiking at Angeles Crest earlier today and it kept my mind off of things.




  • BuddhaLing

    Posts: 107

    May 13, 2012 9:46 PM GMT
    Thanks for the thread . . . I lost my Mom in 2004 after a very short battle with breast cancer. I continue to grieve each day. She was a kind and very generous Mom. When you met her for the first time it as if she had known you all of your life. I delivered the eulogy for Mom and to this day I can not remember the service nor the funeral; a classic avoidance-avoidance approach. Mom was always a very encouraging person. The glass was always half full for her even in the most of adverse times. My mother raised seven children. The Social Service people wanted my mother to put some of us in a foster home, etc. She would not have it; I commend her for her firm decision to keep us together. I tell my friends that if your mother is alive do everything for her while you have her because once they are gone, they are gone. No more cards, phone calls, visits, attending church together, etc. Mom, I miss your terribly! Happy Mother's Day!
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    May 13, 2012 10:41 PM GMT
    My mother died, last year, on the day before Thanksgiving.
    I'm afraid of becoming more and more like her...
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    May 13, 2012 10:47 PM GMT
    My mom passed away last year and this is my second Mother's Day without her. I get my outspokenness and love of shopping from her. icon_smile.gif
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    May 13, 2012 11:49 PM GMT
    I was 27 when my mother passed away. It has been 23 years since then. I count her has still being the guiding light in my life.
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    May 13, 2012 11:52 PM GMT
    this thread gives me a sad.

    RIP, Mom. And thanks for loving me in spite of myself.
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    May 13, 2012 11:56 PM GMT
    Last year she was an alive Mom........she was everything to me. icon_cry.gif
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    May 13, 2012 11:58 PM GMT
    I was 13, when she died. Its hard

    especially when where I work , we did a project where we let the kids make flowers out of coffee filter and pipe cleansers and markers.

    Seeing their moms reactions to the cuteness of it, was kinda..heartbreaking.

    I had to do it all day, and it kinda bothered me, but it was nice aswell.