Does He Know We're Going out on Dates?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 13, 2012 5:14 PM GMT
    So there's a gay friend of mine who I've become attracted to and interested in (introduced to me by a now another gay mutual friend of ours a couple months ago) and I finally worked up the nerve to ask him out on a date last week, just the two of us for once. Out to dinner and drinks and texting afterwards say how we had fun and would like to see each other again (we've never texted after we all hung out as a group). They went well so that's good.

    We went out again yesterday on a date, to the museum, dinner and drinks at the same bar. The bartender recognized us from last time and asked what "the boyfriend will be having" when he took our drink orders. That's a good thing that we give off that vibe of being more than friends as that's what I'm hoping for and I think he's interested in me too since the first date we established that we're both open to dating friends and he's done so in the past, we were a bit flirty on the first date we went on

    I texted him after last night saying I had fun and would like to see him again soon to hint that indeed those were dates (dating?).

    Hopefully he should or already knows those were dates and we aren't just hanging out as friends- I don't want to give an mixed signals. It's fine if he wants to remain friends but we do have things in common, he hit's most of the things I'm looking for and (at least I think) he may be attracted to me also so it might be worthwhile exploring potential BF territory...

    Maybe I need to less showing and more telling just to confirm? What should I say? We haven't kissed or anything yet if he also feels the same way. Not sure how to initiate that either.

    Need a little help with this from those more experienced.
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    May 13, 2012 5:48 PM GMT
    / Opps, forgot that part- yep. He's gay and knows I am too so that hurdle is out of the way.

    BTW, feel free to face palm as this is another gay guy (not another straight guy thread) who I'm going on dates yet am still unsure if he know's these are dates...I'm still new at this icon_redface.gif

  • Mar 27, 2017 8:42 PM GMT
    Just man up and say "lets go on a date this friday too...." or "OK it's a date" to something you guys agreed to. Or just have a discussion like "what are we doing here? Are we hanging out as friends or dating?"

    Just because you think its a date doesn't make it one. It could be a date for you and just haning out for him.

    100% chance to know for sure JUST ASK.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 27, 2017 9:14 PM GMT
    Actually I never use the "date" word. Never have. Didn't think it was necessary. We'd just go out, seemed perfectly natural. No need to put a name on it. He would know.

    Lots of other gays, and some straights, would guess we were BFs. Just weeks after we started going out. (There's another RJ thread debating the existing of gaydar) But we'd be asked how many YEARS we'd been together! Was it 10 or 20? After barely a month!

    Well, when you get older, it's a lot easier and more natural. You just sorta meld and blend, no big effort. You know the moves, it's very easy, you just fall into it without thinking.

    I always took it as a compliment, a good sign, when strangers would call us BFs. That we were matching well. Broadcasting those signals so obviously.

    Maybe you're doing the same thing? But don't over-analyze and vocalize it with him. Just enjoy it!
  • Apparition

    Posts: 3794

    Apr 10, 2017 4:35 AM GMT
    you went out 3 times and havent had sex yet? one of you doesnt think it is a date.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4684

    Apr 10, 2017 4:19 PM GMT
    If next time you two go out it remains more pals than date, just give him a hug and quick kiss along with the goodbye. See how he reacts. Be prepared to stay over... Like the old song goes, "How do I know if he loves me? It's in his kiss."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Apr 16, 2017 4:37 PM GMT
    Destinharbor saidIf next time you two go out it remains more pals than date, just give him a hug and quick kiss along with the goodbye. See how he reacts. Be prepared to stay over... Like the old song goes, "How do I know if he loves me? It's in his kiss."


    Since it has apparently been 5 years since the last "date," it's fair to assume that there is no relationship in the offing.
  • Destinharbor

    Posts: 4684

    Apr 16, 2017 5:48 PM GMT
    HikerSkier said
    Destinharbor saidIf next time you two go out it remains more pals than date, just give him a hug and quick kiss along with the goodbye. See how he reacts. Be prepared to stay over... Like the old song goes, "How do I know if he loves me? It's in his kiss."


    Since it has apparently been 5 years since the last "date," it's fair to assume that there is no relationship in the offing.

    lol I missed the date of the thread. Ya, guess it didn't work out. No love....