what do we do when we get old...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 13, 2012 11:16 PM GMT
    Alright, so this question has been in my mind for a long time. Now I am young and can date and waste my time enjoying everything this world bring to me. What about when I am 50 years old or even older? My parents are gonna be gong, my friends will all have their happy family and children (which means I will basically be isolated. But by that time I won't have any kids or marry anyone unless I come out (which is a different story).
    I am starting to worry about this...or perhaps it's a bit too early for me?
    But anyway, even in the future the society becomes incredibly open and tolerant, it seems to me that gay marriage or gay relationships don't usually last long ( or is that just how the media portrays?).
    So basically I am asking in the website, since I believe many of you are far more experienced than I am, what is the plan in your mind when you get old?
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    May 14, 2012 12:41 AM GMT
    Your question is yet another reason why I want to have a husband and a couple of kids one day. I'm already family oriented in the first place, and I would rather not grow old alone.
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    May 14, 2012 12:47 AM GMT
    My question is, what do you do with the family albums......and the items collected over 50 or 60 years before and after you were bornicon_confused.gif

    With no descendants, will they end up in the garbage or Goodwill?

    Probably.......... icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2012 12:55 AM GMT
    Perhaps you'd be interested in reading some work of an existentialist.
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    May 14, 2012 12:57 AM GMT
    I would love to get married... but if it doesn't happen... whatever.. it's life, and life isn't fair.

    Life SUCKS... let me put it that way... do what you can with the cards you're handed to you.

    If you have the opportunity to get married and don't want to be lonely... go for it, hell, I would.

    If not, you can either keep crying OR you can volunteer somewhere and you would get that same meaningful part of your life fulfilled and not be lonely.
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    May 14, 2012 1:23 AM GMT
    timbers saidAlright, so this question has been in my mind for a long time. Now I am young and can date and waste my time enjoying everything this world bring to me. What about when I am 50 years old or even older? My parents are gonna be gong, my friends will all have their happy family and children (which means I will basically be isolated. But by that time I won't have any kids or marry anyone unless I come out (which is a different story).
    I am starting to worry about this...or perhaps it's a bit too early for me?
    But anyway, even in the future the society becomes incredibly open and tolerant, it seems to me that gay marriage or gay relationships don't usually last long ( or is that just how the media portrays?).
    So basically I am asking in the website, since I believe many of you are far more experienced than I am, what is the plan in your mind when you get old?


    You are 18 so it might be a bit early to worry about this... but here is my thought.

    Your questions is a complex one. Even straight people get divorced and may end up alone when they are in their 50's. You may have kids but they may not connect with you or have a broken relationship with you. So I don't think it has anything to do with gay/straight.

    It has something to do with the choices you make but also your luck/opportunities in this life. I don't want to write a whole book on it, but my thought is that you will meet the right person one day when you are ready and when you know how to open your eyes and see that person. I found the right guy when I started to understand how to center happiness around my own actions rather than those of another person.
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    May 14, 2012 1:50 AM GMT
    timbers saidAlright, so this question has been in my mind for a long time. Now I am young and can date and waste my time enjoying everything this world bring to me. What about when I am 50 years old or even older? My parents are gonna be gong, my friends will all have their happy family and children (which means I will basically be isolated. But by that time I won't have any kids or marry anyone unless I come out (which is a different story).
    I am starting to worry about this...or perhaps it's a bit too early for me?
    But anyway, even in the future the society becomes incredibly open and tolerant, it seems to me that gay marriage or gay relationships don't usually last long ( or is that just how the media portrays?).
    So basically I am asking in the website, since I believe many of you are far more experienced than I am, what is the plan in your mind when you get old?


    Wow.. you're 18 and already worrying about that? There's nothing wrong with thinking about how you want your future to be.. But seriously if you're worrying about something that lies 32y ahead of you.. I think you'll miss out alot on the ''here and now''...

    Create your future instead of wondering how it will turn out..

    And to answer your question, I'm hoping to get me a man and have children too..
    I'm not going to sit around watch everyone live their life to the fullest while me getting depressed and lonely living to their expectations...

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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2012 1:56 AM GMT
    You might have a partner at that point in your life, and you may even have children. In the very least let's hope you have made a good support system of friends. Bottom line, you have the power to make all of these things happen. Go out and live! You're too young to dwell on this fear. If you build your life the way you want it to be then you will not be alone in the end. You will have constructed your life just the way you intended. And by the way, as you get older the "alone" thing doesn't really bother you so much and is not so scary.
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    May 14, 2012 1:58 AM GMT
    Sit on RealJock all day and talk about the good ol days apparently.
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    May 14, 2012 2:12 AM GMT
    Dont worry man ;)
    I want to be married and want a happy family too.
    But what will be will be ;)
  • Cdnontherun

    Posts: 69

    May 14, 2012 2:19 AM GMT
    I believe that we must embrace the path before us. If that means that we don't have an immediate family, we must find ways to stay connected to the world either through work or friends or exploration or, what I hope for myself, some combination of all of those. In my family, my mother has lost two husbands that she loved totally, my brother lost his wife two years ago to breast cancer and my sister is in the middle of a divorce. All that to say, we have no control over whether we end up alone or not. Therefore, we must invest in a larger circle and make sure that our life is what we want it to be. No regrets when they close the lid.
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    May 14, 2012 2:38 AM GMT
    Question: why do you think that you you will be isolated when your friends are married and have kids?

    I know my parents had plenty of their single friends over for entertainment nights when I was a kid.

    Just because someone makes a new life with a family doesnt mean they have no room for the people from their old lives. Heck one of my dads friends is my god father and a close friend of my mothers is my god mother. I already know that when my best bud and his wife have kids, I'm totally gonna be tapped for babysitting duty lol.

    As for feeling isolated, that's easy to prevent by making an effort on your part to not only include them in your life but include others as well.

    All in all, you have plenty of time so don't worry about it.
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    May 14, 2012 2:45 AM GMT
    timbers said, my friends will all have their happy family and children (which means I will basically be isolated.


    In my experience it is more like this...

    At 45 most of my straight friends have been through at least one broken marriage/relationship and may or may not have an intact family at the moment. Those that do are not necessarily happy. They need companionship/friendship too. Those that expect to get all of their emotional needs met from a committed emotional relationship end up more miserable than those that build and maintain friendships (whether they are single of partnered at any given moment.) "Bros over hoes."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2012 2:47 AM GMT
    What you are asking is this: How does one deal with an unencumbered existence?

    Steely Dan provided the clear and ebullient answer decades ago: Break out the hats and hooters!

    Celebrate dude . . .
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    May 14, 2012 2:52 AM GMT
    timbers saidAlright, so this question has been in my mind for a long time. Now I am young and can date and waste my time enjoying everything this world bring to me. What about when I am 50 years old or even older? My parents are gonna be gong, my friends will all have their happy family and children (which means I will basically be isolated. But by that time I won't have any kids or marry anyone unless I come out (which is a different story).
    I am starting to worry about this...or perhaps it's a bit too early for me?
    But anyway, even in the future the society becomes incredibly open and tolerant, it seems to me that gay marriage or gay relationships don't usually last long ( or is that just how the media portrays?).
    So basically I am asking in the website, since I believe many of you are far more experienced than I am, what is the plan in your mind when you get old?


    You'll have your gay and lesbian friends and you'll probably be in a relationship and who knows, you may even have children. I'm 48 and will tell you that life gets better with age!
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    May 14, 2012 2:59 AM GMT
    dan_x saidSit on RealJock all day and talk about the good ol days apparently.



    In the future you will be able to have sex using your realjock hologram avatar with other hologram avatars on realjock. If you're old, you can just go to bodybuilding.com or bigmuscle and steal a younger, sexier hologram from another guy's profile and claim on realjock that it is you, as long as someone doesn't go to google and reverse search your hologram.
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    May 14, 2012 3:00 AM GMT
    um...what do you consider.....old? icon_confused.gif
  • Art2D2x

    Posts: 148

    May 14, 2012 3:00 AM GMT
    Something I learned in the past few years: do not worry about it until it's happened. In other words...

    Live in the now.

    ...and start a 401k. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 14, 2012 3:06 AM GMT
    After living with HIV for 27+ years, I don't think about "getting old".

    I live in the moment with purpose, passion, and urgency.

    Worry is fear of the future and most of our fears never come to pass (except death).

    Regret is rumination on the past. Learn whatever lesson there was to be learned and move on.

    Live in the precious present. Because you just don't know if you're going to wake up tomorrow.

    Learn to be happy now.
  • Pontifex

    Posts: 1882

    May 14, 2012 3:11 AM GMT
    If you worry about the future you won't ever see what is in front of you. Live your life, meet people, have fun, make friends. I think that a lot of the good friends you make could still be around in the future. Even if you don't find a guy to spend your life with(there is no reason why you wouldn't).
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    May 14, 2012 3:11 AM GMT
    DarthOmni saidQuestion: why do you think that you you will be isolated when your friends are married and have kids?

    I know my parents had plenty of their single friends over for entertainment nights when I was a kid.

    Just because someone makes a new life with a family doesnt mean they have no room for the people from their old lives. Heck one of my dads friends is my god father and a close friend of my mothers is my god mother. I already know that when my best bud and his wife have kids, I'm totally gonna be tapped for babysitting duty lol.

    As for feeling isolated, that's easy to prevent by making an effort on your part to not only include them in your life but include others as well.

    All in all, you have plenty of time so don't worry about it.


    Because we won't have any common topics and common stuff to do...I will basically be out of their social circle in a way.
  • Art2D2x

    Posts: 148

    May 14, 2012 3:15 AM GMT
    timbers said
    DarthOmni saidQuestion: why do you think that you you will be isolated when your friends are married and have kids?

    I know my parents had plenty of their single friends over for entertainment nights when I was a kid.

    Just because someone makes a new life with a family doesnt mean they have no room for the people from their old lives. Heck one of my dads friends is my god father and a close friend of my mothers is my god mother. I already know that when my best bud and his wife have kids, I'm totally gonna be tapped for babysitting duty lol.

    As for feeling isolated, that's easy to prevent by making an effort on your part to not only include them in your life but include others as well.

    All in all, you have plenty of time so don't worry about it.


    Because we won't have any common topics and common stuff to do...I will basically be out of their social circle in a way.


    See, you're too young to even begin thinking that. Your circle of friends will evolve... A LOT. And so will you.
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    May 14, 2012 3:17 AM GMT
    HawkEyez said
    timbers saidAlright, so this question has been in my mind for a long time. Now I am young and can date and waste my time enjoying everything this world bring to me. What about when I am 50 years old or even older? My parents are gonna be gong, my friends will all have their happy family and children (which means I will basically be isolated. But by that time I won't have any kids or marry anyone unless I come out (which is a different story).
    I am starting to worry about this...or perhaps it's a bit too early for me?
    But anyway, even in the future the society becomes incredibly open and tolerant, it seems to me that gay marriage or gay relationships don't usually last long ( or is that just how the media portrays?).
    So basically I am asking in the website, since I believe many of you are far more experienced than I am, what is the plan in your mind when you get old?


    Wow.. you're 18 and already worrying about that? There's nothing wrong with thinking about how you want your future to be.. But seriously if you're worrying about something that lies 32y ahead of you.. I think you'll miss out alot on the ''here and now''...

    Create your future instead of wondering how it will turn out..

    And to answer your question, I'm hoping to get me a man and have children too..
    I'm not going to sit around watch everyone live their life to the fullest while me getting depressed and lonely living to their expectations...

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    icon_cool.gif


    My worry is not without a cause. There is an open gay teacher in our school. He is very old, parents passed away, living alone with his dog. He seems to be very lonely. I don't know how he is going to do after he retired. I don't know who will take care of him, who will spend time with him, who will speak to him or even care about him. It looks like no one here dislike him because his sexual preference and everyone respects him but really he has no close friend except for another old teacher who is married and will retire next year. I don't know what I will become when I am old and impotent. I don't want to end up like him. But it seems to me that such fate is inevitable.
    I desperately want to prevent my future from this but I feel like I am so incapable...I really don't know what I can do now to avoid regrets and remorse when I gets to 50s...
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    May 14, 2012 3:21 AM GMT
    50 is old?

    I think that you should remold your premise a bit and not try to deal with age as a fixed point, but as an ongoing process. How you handle tomorrow and the next week is also a part of confronting the aging process.
  • Art2D2x

    Posts: 148

    May 14, 2012 3:26 AM GMT
    timbers said
    HawkEyez said
    timbers saidAlright, so this question has been in my mind for a long time. Now I am young and can date and waste my time enjoying everything this world bring to me. What about when I am 50 years old or even older? My parents are gonna be gong, my friends will all have their happy family and children (which means I will basically be isolated. But by that time I won't have any kids or marry anyone unless I come out (which is a different story).
    I am starting to worry about this...or perhaps it's a bit too early for me?
    But anyway, even in the future the society becomes incredibly open and tolerant, it seems to me that gay marriage or gay relationships don't usually last long ( or is that just how the media portrays?).
    So basically I am asking in the website, since I believe many of you are far more experienced than I am, what is the plan in your mind when you get old?


    Wow.. you're 18 and already worrying about that? There's nothing wrong with thinking about how you want your future to be.. But seriously if you're worrying about something that lies 32y ahead of you.. I think you'll miss out alot on the ''here and now''...

    Create your future instead of wondering how it will turn out..

    And to answer your question, I'm hoping to get me a man and have children too..
    I'm not going to sit around watch everyone live their life to the fullest while me getting depressed and lonely living to their expectations...

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    icon_cool.gif


    My worry is not without a cause. There is an open gay teacher in our school. He is very old, parents passed away, living alone with his dog. He seems to be very lonely. I don't know how he is going to do after he retired. I don't know who will take care of him, who will spend time with him, who will speak to him or even care about him. It looks like no one here dislike him because his sexual preference and everyone respects him but really he has no close friend except for another old teacher who is married and will retire next year. I don't know what I will become when I am old and impotent. I don't want to end up like him. But it seems to me that such fate is inevitable.
    I desperately want to prevent my future from this but I feel like I am so incapable...I really don't know what I can do now to avoid regrets and remorse when I gets to 50s...


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    The End.