Unrequited love - Been there, done that?

  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    May 15, 2012 10:03 PM GMT
    I decided to make the ultimate gay post icon_lol.gif (didn't find any topic about this). And what best way to start than with a text I wrote at lunch time (was kind bored and not feeling that great) which explains how I feel about it and the way I started to deal with it.

    "So, lately I've been thinking about this little thing called love. Stupid little thing, I might add. Why does this sick feeling takes over your mind, shuts down your rationality, and decides to bombard you every second with high expectations (that you didn't even ask for!). You can try to shut it, but you know your brain won't cope with your needs, he made you its prisoner after all. So all you can do is give in and try not to hurt too much. Don't fuel any thoughts that might lead you to get locked in this matter, keep your mind busy, find something you find interesting, and do it constantly! Whatever you do, don't ever think of that special someone .. that special person that is not meant to be with you, although your brain keeps analyzing every word, tone or gesture from that person to prove the contrary. At this precise moment, there's no worse enemy than yourself. Don't trust any thought that your brain makes up, don't listen to that inner voice that insists in shouting: "hey, I think he's into you too". He's not, whatever the reasons may be - DON'T, and I meant it, DON'T try to figure out why that may be, or you'll only end up corroding every support that you spent years bulding, which left you, for a change, in a stable position. Only great suffering comes from that. And why? Because your brain, that sonofabitch, made sure to kept you floating around on those bubbly expectations of yours - and once they burst, oh when they burst .. you'll only be sure how high you were up there, when the urge to crawl in your bed and sleep for days, laying your emotions to sleep, kicks in. You'll feel like shutting down your emotions, and you say you will actually, but nothing good comes from that also. So take a few days to be sad and gloomy, but no more than that! Life is a mysterious one way ticket that you don't want to waste. Get on your own two feet as soon as you can, so that you may proceed with your life, but only this time you'll be a little colder, a little bit more disattached to this sick feeling. Rinse and repeat the process, until you eventually stop feeling at all..."

    As a hopeless romantic, this is where I'm at. What about you guys?
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    May 16, 2012 1:06 AM GMT
    You already know how I feel about this icon_smile.gif Don't become too bitter, you'll find the right one!
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    May 16, 2012 1:18 AM GMT
    Yeah, been there OP. You described pretty well what recently happened to me, except it wasn't just my brain conspiring against me. Sometimes a love interest will himself collude with the crazy signals your brain is sending to really throw you off your footing, and when it suddenly comes to nothing, you're left wondering if it ever really happened.
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    May 16, 2012 1:35 AM GMT
    I've actually been there but I've actually developed a bit of resistance to this kind of feeling when i get it. Usually works really well but sometimes it gets hard to control...but it gets easier each time I try. I don't know if it's gonna start setting me up for failure but it really helps keep me sane and focused on what is and not what may or may not be.
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    May 16, 2012 1:41 AM GMT
    I think although we might not want to admit it (or remember it because it's too painful), but I think most people have been in that stage before. When people are faced with unrequited love, it's easy for others to tell you just to move on, but it's easier said than done, IMHO
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    May 16, 2012 1:46 AM GMT
    Story of my life. I've been in love with enough men to fill a gymnasum and they woulod have no idea why they were gathered there.
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    May 16, 2012 2:53 AM GMT
    CityRiver saidI think although we might not want to admit it (or remember it because it's too painful), but I think most people have been in that stage before. When people are faced with unrequited love, it's easy for others to tell you just to move on, but it's easier said than done, IMHO



    YEP... icon_neutral.gif
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    May 16, 2012 2:55 AM GMT

    Listen to this song. Ball your eyes out. Find someone attainable. Good luck!




    Call me morbid,
    Calle me pale.
    I've spend six years on your trail.
    Six long years on your trail.

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    May 16, 2012 3:04 AM GMT
    I've been in that predicament one broken heart too much.
    That's why I don't Love anymore. I'm done.
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    May 16, 2012 3:10 AM GMT
    This is only natural. Happens to me on occasion; either being the one not having my feelings returned; or being the one who doesn't return the feelings. The trick is to keep from doing it over and over with the same person before you go nuts, and to do it sparingly at that, if you feel your feelings just outside the threshold of your control.

    Don't forsake the possibility of love, but don't martyr yourself a fool for what is null and void.
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    May 16, 2012 4:10 AM GMT
    you expressed my current situation very well. Everyone does go through this but when its your turn, you wonder "why me!?" you cant stop it from happening cuz its natural.

    “You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could've, would've happened... or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.” Tupac
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    May 16, 2012 1:34 PM GMT
    I wish I could reply to you all, but I really must focus on studying for my finals, or I'll just get lost in here haha.

    I agree with most of what you guys said. I don't want to become bitter, and I don't think I'll ever be, but I need to find a balance between being a big dreamer and realistic. I tend to fall too much on the first one!

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    May 16, 2012 1:39 PM GMT
    Splendidus_1 saidI decided to make the ultimate gay post icon_lol.gif (didn't find any topic about this). And what best way to start than with a text I wrote at lunch time (was kind bored and not feeling that great) which explains how I feel about it and the way I started to deal with it.

    "So, lately I've been thinking about this little thing called love. Stupid little thing, I might add. Why does this sick feeling takes over your mind, shuts down your rationality, and decides to bombard you every second with high expectations (that you didn't even ask for!). You can try to shut it, but you know your brain won't cope with your needs, he made you its prisoner after all. So all you can do is give in and try not to hurt too much. Don't fuel any thoughts that might lead you to get locked in this matter, keep your mind busy, find something you find interesting, and do it constantly! Whatever you do, don't ever think of that special someone .. that special person that is not meant to be with you, although your brain keeps analyzing every word, tone or gesture from that person to prove the contrary. At this precise moment, there's no worse enemy than yourself. Don't trust any thought that your brain makes up, don't listen to that inner voice that insists in shouting: "hey, I think he's into you too". He's not, whatever the reasons may be - DON'T, and I meant it, DON'T try to figure out why that may be, or you'll only end up corroding every support that you spent years bulding, which left you, for a change, in a stable position. Only great suffering comes from that. And why? Because your brain, that sonofabitch, made sure to kept you floating around on those bubbly expectations of yours - and once they burst, oh when they burst .. you'll only be sure how high you were up there, when the urge to crawl in your bed and sleep for days, laying your emotions to sleep, kicks in. You'll feel like shutting down your emotions, and you say you will actually, but nothing good comes from that also. So take a few days to be sad and gloomy, but no more than that! Life is a mysterious one way ticket that you don't want to waste. Get on your own two feet as soon as you can, so that you may proceed with your life, but only this time you'll be a little colder, a little bit more disattached to this sick feeling. Rinse and repeat the process, until you eventually stop feeling at all..."

    As a hopeless romantic, this is where I'm at. What about you guys?


    WOW toally how I am feeling right now to the 'T." Easier said than done!
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    May 16, 2012 7:28 PM GMT
    fhaynie81 said
    WOW toally how I am feeling right now to the 'T." Easier said than done!


    It's true, words aren't actions .. but it's up to you to do the transition. It's hard, but possible! Sorry to hear man .. hope everything truns out well.
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    May 16, 2012 7:45 PM GMT
    yep totally feelin ya on this one, buddy! I sure have been there... fml icon_rolleyes.gif
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    May 16, 2012 11:47 PM GMT
    SUCH DRAMA. You sound like a fifteen year old girl. Someone with your abs and ass should not be suffering such angst. Not really relevant; just thought you should know they are appreciated. Maybe I should have just left a photo comment. LOL.

    Remember:

    I hold it true, whate'er befall;
    I feel it, when I sorrow most;
    'Tis better to have loved and lost
    Than never to have loved at all.



    From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In In Memoriam A.H.H.
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    May 17, 2012 12:02 AM GMT
    Splendidus_1 saidI wish I could reply to you all, but I really must focus on studying for my finals, or I'll just get lost in here haha.

    I agree with most of what you guys said. I don't want to become bitter, and I don't think I'll ever be, but I need to find a balance between being a big dreamer and realistic. I tend to fall too much on the first one!



    Screw being realistic! Realistic is for the people who believed we'd never have cars, planes, and electricity. The present is the result of the few who refused to dream realistically and it's, I imagine, richer for it.

    While I resonate with your post a lot, I've already been to the conclusion, the "until you feel nothing at all" and it sucks. I had no passion, no will to do or be with anyone that didn't fulfill my only prerogative of simply existing. My days consisted of going to school, coming home from school, studying, gaming, eating, and sleeping[.] Though I was born to have four siblings, you'd never know it from the way I isolated myself. I lived like that from around the age of 13 until late in my high school/early college career. Even though I've been trying to learn to "want" again, I still have no passion that originates from within that drives me to move forward besides my prerogative. The only thing that still manages to grab me heart and soul is the love that strikes me for certain guys so I'd be damned before I cut myself off at the pass because I feared that the attraction might not be mutual. Sure that's left me with lots of highs that's resulted in horribly destitute lows, but that's just the nature of life, right? I learned something valuable from every relationship so I don't regret the pain of them ending in the slightest. Even though the pain does make me want to sleep until the darkness of eternity overtakes me, I know that I'll be able to keep moving on into the future sooner or later with advantage the experience I've gained has provided me. I believe that I'll find the guy for me as long as I keep on moving forward!

    After all, you never know unless you try!
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    May 17, 2012 12:07 AM GMT
    Splendidus_1but I need to find a balance between being a big dreamer and realistic. I tend to fall too much on the first one!


    That's my problem too, and altough I know it, it's hard to fight it..
    Very nice written btw.
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    May 17, 2012 12:34 AM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidSUCH DRAMA. You sound like a fifteen year old girl. Someone with your abs and ass should not be suffering such angst. Not really relevant; just thought you should know they are appreciated. Maybe I should have just left a photo comment. LOL.

    Remember:

    I hold it true, whate'er befall;
    I feel it, when I sorrow most;
    'Tis better to have loved and lost
    Than never to have loved at all.



    From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In In Memoriam A.H.H.


    Woa, woa, hold your horses! I like to write, that's all! I'm not feeling this way or anything, that's simply my view on this matter. I didn't want to come out as dramatic, I abominate such thing, so I try to keep it to a minimum.
    Thank you? Haha. I guess I'm appreciated overseas, but not so much at a national level. Oh well, maybe I should just move!
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    May 17, 2012 12:44 AM GMT
    Animus said
    Splendidus_1 saidI wish I could reply to you all, but I really must focus on studying for my finals, or I'll just get lost in here haha.

    I agree with most of what you guys said. I don't want to become bitter, and I don't think I'll ever be, but I need to find a balance between being a big dreamer and realistic. I tend to fall too much on the first one!



    Screw being realistic! Realistic is for the people who believed we'd never have cars, planes, and electricity. The present is the result of the few who refused to dream realistically and it's, I imagine, richer for it.

    While I resonate with your post a lot, I've already been to the conclusion, the "until you feel nothing at all" and it sucks. I had no passion, no will to do or be with anyone that didn't fulfill my only prerogative of simply existing. My days consisted of going to school, coming home from school, studying, gaming, eating, and sleeping[.] Though I was born to have four siblings, you'd never know it from the way I isolated myself. I lived like that from around the age of 13 until late in my high school/early college career. Even though I've been trying to learn to "want" again, I still have no passion that originates from within that drives me to move forward besides my prerogative. The only thing that still manages to grab me heart and soul is the love that strikes me for certain guys so I'd be damned before I cut myself off at the pass because I feared that the attraction might not be mutual. Sure that's left me with lots of highs that's resulted in horribly destitute lows, but that's just the nature of life, right? I learned something valuable from every relationship so I don't regret the pain of them ending in the slightest. Even though the pain does make me want to sleep until the darkness of eternity overtakes me, I know that I'll be able to keep moving on into the future sooner or later with advantage the experience I've gained has provided me. I believe that I'll find the guy for me as long as I keep on moving forward!

    After all, you never know unless you try!


    That's the correct spirit to have, I think icon_smile.gif . I know I'll never be able to change this part of me .. since I was a little kid I recall having an humongous imagination. So yeah, I guess I'll keep making millions of story in my head with a person who I've just switched glances (even though I'm learning how to control it to a certain level).
    I agree with you, every bad experience gives us experience nonetheless. I'm willing to take the consequences, if that makes me evolve!
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    May 17, 2012 12:46 AM GMT
    HawkEyez said
    Splendidus_1but I need to find a balance between being a big dreamer and realistic. I tend to fall too much on the first one!


    That's my problem too, and altough I know it, it's hard to fight it..
    Very nice written btw.


    Maybe we should just embrace it. Maybe someday, someone will like that particular characteristic of ours hehe.
    Oh, thank you so much icon_smile.gif
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    May 17, 2012 3:22 AM GMT
    Splendidus_1 said
    HawkEyez said
    Splendidus_1but I need to find a balance between being a big dreamer and realistic. I tend to fall too much on the first one!


    That's my problem too, and altough I know it, it's hard to fight it..
    Very nice written btw.


    Maybe we should just embrace it. Maybe someday, someone will like that particular characteristic of ours hehe.
    Oh, thank you so much icon_smile.gif


    Or... Just hear me out... Maybe instead of embracing ''it'' we could simply embrace each other! icon_razz.gif



  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    May 17, 2012 11:19 AM GMT
    HawkEyez said
    Splendidus_1 said
    HawkEyez said
    Splendidus_1but I need to find a balance between being a big dreamer and realistic. I tend to fall too much on the first one!


    That's my problem too, and altough I know it, it's hard to fight it..
    Very nice written btw.


    Maybe we should just embrace it. Maybe someday, someone will like that particular characteristic of ours hehe.
    Oh, thank you so much icon_smile.gif


    Or... Just hear me out... Maybe instead of embracing ''it'' we could simply embrace each other! icon_razz.gif





    Haha, that's a possibility! But imagine what it'd be like being with someone exactly like us .. Two big dreamers! We'd float to outter space haha. Maybe someone who'd keep us on Earth would be better for us?
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    May 18, 2012 3:14 AM GMT
    Splendidus_1 said
    HawkEyez said
    Splendidus_1 said
    HawkEyez said
    Splendidus_1but I need to find a balance between being a big dreamer and realistic. I tend to fall too much on the first one!


    That's my problem too, and altough I know it, it's hard to fight it..
    Very nice written btw.


    Maybe we should just embrace it. Maybe someday, someone will like that particular characteristic of ours hehe.
    Oh, thank you so much icon_smile.gif


    Or... Just hear me out... Maybe instead of embracing ''it'' we could simply embrace each other! icon_razz.gif





    Haha, that's a possibility! But imagine what it'd be like being with someone exactly like us .. Two big dreamers! We'd float to outter space haha. Maybe someone who'd keep us on Earth would be better for us?


    Hahaha, yeah you're probably right..
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    May 18, 2012 1:55 PM GMT
    I know I'll never be able to change this part of me
    www.50centsloseweight.com