Him in Writing VS. Him in Person

  • tautomer

    Posts: 1010

    May 16, 2012 5:05 AM GMT
    This is something that has come to a head in my mind recently: Very few people are the same in writing and in person.

    Of course, this is a no brainer, most people already know this, and it makes sense. Nevertheless, I think this is something worth discussing, and ultimately puts the concept of online dating into perspective.

    It seems like most people are either good at writing and communicating online, and are poor in person. Or, they are poor at writing, but less so in person. Further, you often either get along very well with someone in writing, or in person. It's almost never both. Why this is, I could speculate on, but I don't think it's entirely necessary here. It's for these reasons that I am inching closer and closer to completely ditch using online sites as a way to meet people. It has yet to actually be conductive to meeting the right kind of person.

    So, what I ask you all, is what is your experience with all of this? Have you noticed that guys you meet are quite different between online and in person? Do you actually think you are the same in writing as you are in person? Do you make a point to keep those similar? What implications do you think this has on the success of online dating with you?

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    May 17, 2012 3:06 PM GMT
    You’ve made some valid points here. I think the issue at hand has a lot to do with perception. Online communication leaves a lot of room to misinterpret what people write--even more so in regards to dating. My experiences on internet forums in general have proven that most people communicate in a consistent manner whether it be online, in chat, or in person.

    If a person is naturally polite and charismatic in writing, it usually manifests in person. If a person is naturally vulgar and uncouth online, then that behavior is likely to manifest in person. I’ve never experienced a dramatic difference.

    I do, however, find it easier to express myself in writing most of the time. It is simply because it allows me more time to properly analyze, assess, and accurately relay what I’m thinking.
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    May 17, 2012 4:48 PM GMT
    I agree with you both. Sometimes it is frustrating to communicate over email, IM, etc with a person and then meet them and see the obvious differences in the way they express themselves. But I think as long as we have a means to connect online, that will never go away.

    The good thing is that you can spot the inconsistencies quite fast. And if that is any indication of compatability (for me it is), it might prove to be useful before investing much time in the person.

    The benefit for me is that due to my attraction to younger guys, it's easier to spot a real cutie who ALSO has brains, ambition, interests, etc. They can express themselves and carry a conversation versus the 98% who, after a short conversation, lose my attention.
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    May 17, 2012 4:53 PM GMT
    Not is more telling and liberating than meeting someone in person and getting to know them for yourself, not through friends, coworkers or strangers opinions, just you and him. You can gauge so much about a person that you won't get via any message or text. In fact, whenever I meet someone in person I've talk to online, the way their text sound in my mind changes cause I've heard them speak and can see more of what they're trying to say... maybe why I dislike text from family? Lol.