needy much?

  • imbrad

    Posts: 377

    May 16, 2012 5:18 AM GMT
    I met this guy a while back while i was in a relationship. Now that that relationship has ended we have started talking a bit. I work in a bar and i'll get multiple texts throughout the night from him to which i don't respond (because i don't use my phone at work). The next day I will get a kind of bitchy text about me sending him mixed signals for not responding to his texts. I know it's kind of old fashioned anymore to expect people to allow a day or two between casual correspondance (or am i wrong).

    I guess the real problem is how do i gracefully navigate this friend's neediness. I've already explained to him that I was deeply in love with my ex boyfriend and not looking to get into something new very quickly. We haven't slept together or even kissed. I feel like he's is being inappropriate. Time to ax the tree before it get's too big? Am I just overwhelmed by new attention and need to get with the program? How am I 23 and so clueless about dating???

    Finally, if there are some cool young guys that would like to go on an old fashioned date (the kind where a kiss at the end is a good sign, not the kind where sleeping with each other is expected or prerequisite) that would give me hope in homanity!
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    May 16, 2012 5:50 AM GMT
    imbrad saidHow am I 23 and so clueless about dating??


    You're certainly not alone in that department....that's 95% of Denver gay man population. Guys in their 40s don't know how to date around hizzle.

    i think as far as the neediness goes, you should probably tell him exactly what you told us here; that you work and don't have your phone on you. Time between correspondence varies according to the type of correspondence you're having. Is he texting you to begin a conversation? Or are you all already in a conversation? I know the guy I'm talking to now, we'll be in a conversation and unless I ask a question...he tends to drift off and not respond. I don't get annoyed because its commentary and doesn't warrant a response, whereas he generally responds to a question.

    imbrad said
    Finally, if there are some cool young guys that would like to go on an old fashioned date (the kind where a kiss at the end is a good sign, not the kind where sleeping with each other is expected or prerequisite) that would give me hope in homanity!


    I'm one of them! And I must add, if someone is rushing into the sex part then they are either creeping on the side or not all that interested and just getting their nut. If they can't hold out, then it's because they aren't focused on long-term to begin with to even wait it out. Of course, you want to make sure they are attracted too.