God, this sucks!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2012 6:57 AM GMT
    So basically I had this huge crush on a straight guy who is 4y older..
    It took me almost 6years to finally get him off my mind
    Seriously when people say 'out of sight is out of mind' that is so not true!

    I knew him from when I was 8y at our summerplace he was our neighbour, When we were older I always thought he was the most handsome guy I ever knew and honestly he still is..
    When I was 16 we were talking about stuff and suddenly he said he would never get turned on by a guy.. I said ofcourse you would, so one thing led to another he dared me and we started kissing and stuff..

    But he was right he didn't get turned on icon_sad.gif and I did icon_redface.gif
    And that was also the day I started to have a crush!

    We were always comfortable with eachother we would even watch a movie and fall asleep and sometimes I would either wake up half on top of him or his arms around me.. Apparantly he didn't mind..

    He taught me alot of things like skateboarding, surfing, fishing and he brought me to places I've never been before and so on...
    I never understood why but he was so differend towards me, protective, caring, toughtful and knew how to have a great time...
    He wasn't like that with other people..

    But when I was 18y I stopped going there because of some problems I had here thx to my dad

    So from 18 - 23 (even thou I dated girls) I was still stuck with him in my mind, it really didn't wanna stop untill I decided to try dating guys, well that didn't last long but my crush was finally gone, I sometimes thought about him but it didn't effect me anymore..

    8years has passed since last time I saw him, few months ago he visited my brother and they came by my house, he really looked even better than before but I wasn't crushing on him anymore.
    He is also married now and has a babygirl..

    Now the problem is my brother called me yesterday telling me that this friend is coming to visit again I said ''Ah great, well be sure to drop by'' he then said "Actually I wanted to ask you if he could stay at your place for a couple of days, because my girlfriend will be staying here"
    8.gif
    I immidiatly said "Can't he stay at T.'s house, he lives closer + they know eachother too" he than said "He doesn't want to stay at T's house, he wants either to stay at your house or hotel and what's the big deal anyway? You are friends too, no?" there was a long silence and then I said "ok, I guesse he can stay here"

    I'm really afraid for this, I don't want to start crushing on him again, this really sucks I mean he's married and got a child for crying out loud.. icon_sad.gif
    Last time I saw him he said some weird things aswell.. But maybe I'm now overthinking it..

    What do you think? Should I cancel it?
    I feel like a real jerk if I had've said no.. He's coming from France..
    So nervous!!

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2012 7:40 AM GMT
    He's probably ugly by now, so it should be a problem anymore.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2012 8:00 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidHe's probably ugly by now, so it should be a problem anymore.


    Last time I saw him which was few months ago, he actually looked better...
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    May 16, 2012 4:38 PM GMT
    Tell the truth. Tell him you would suffer greatly, seeing him dripping as he steps out of the bath. Explain that his friendship is too valuable.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2012 4:42 PM GMT
    There is nothing better then seducing a married men! Do it like they do it in the pornos.
  • metta

    Posts: 39155

    May 16, 2012 5:10 PM GMT

    Try to just approach it as a mature adult.

    If those thoughts enter then you need to acknowledge them and let them go. Do not dwell on them. You know they are not realistic so just let them go and move on from them. It is when you dwell on them that you are going to have a problem. Notice that I'm not asking you to push down your feelings. I think it is important to acknowledge them when they arise.

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    May 16, 2012 5:27 PM GMT
    We were always comfortable with eachother we would even watch a movie and fall asleep and sometimes I would either wake up half on top of him or his arms around me.. Apparantly he didn't mind..

    and

    "He doesn't want to stay at T's house, he wants either to stay at your house or hotel..."

    "Straight" guys (especially in their teens) do not feel comfortable laying arm-in-arm with a gay teen! GET REAL He's also insisting on staying at YOUR HOUSE (not T's) and the hotel was thrown in to divert suspicion.This leads me to believe he's got some unresolved, latent homosexuality issues he's not ready to face and may be just ripe for the picking now.

    But since any sexual contact with him will lead you to untold angst as he flys off to France to his wife and kid...

    Tell him to get a hotel room.
  • metta

    Posts: 39155

    May 16, 2012 10:27 PM GMT
    dontknowwhy saidThere is nothing better then seducing a married men! Do it like they do it in the pornos.


    featureUNETHICAL.jpg

    6440290_orig.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2012 11:02 PM GMT
    Thx all for the replies

    @Mickey
    You should not have put that image in my head! icon_smile.gif
    But I can't because I'm not out..

    @dontknowwhy
    The way I read your post:
    "There is nothing better then destroying a marriage.." And considering I had a terrible father it's the last thing I would wish upon for his daughter

    @metta8
    How do you accept your feelings without dwelling on them?
    That is really difficult considering his personality and looks are 1 in a million..

    I'm afraid that's where it will go wrong the moment I acknowledge the feelings..

    @UndercoverMan
    I never told him I was gay
    That time when we kissed he puts my hand on his crotch and putted his hand on mine to see who'd get turned on.. Well he knew the results.. We laughed about it, but he never called me gay..

    He did sometimes say "I can't figure you out" if I would ask why he'll say something like "I don't know you're differend from any guy I ever knew". Few months ago he said to me in front of my brother "I have always found you a special kid, it seems you haven't changed one bit".

    Also my brother informed me that this wont be a 1time visit, he wants him to join our company! Not sure if he is going to accept it yet but it seems like life is toying with me................................

    I wont lie somewhere deepdown I actually want him back in my life again as a friend.. We had before a LDFriendship where I only saw him in the summer and back then I lived almost 3000km away, now he lives 4h driving away..
    ...I don't know what to think.. Honestly I'm already screwed cause he's not here yet and I'm already thinking of him this whole time..






  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2012 11:36 PM GMT


    Shouldn't have listened to it!
    icon_cry.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2012 11:40 PM GMT
    I don't date or fuck friends. Good way to keep girl friends from hitting on me. I don't believe in faghags either. Tie an anchor to a foot and try to swim to shore?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 12:03 AM GMT
    Don't shit where you eat.
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    May 17, 2012 12:16 AM GMT
    Don't act on your thoughts and you'll be fine. I know it sucks but he's committed to someone else now and has a kid as well. Even if there were a possibility before, he's got a prior commitment and so it would be very uncool for you or him to break that commitment for a one night tryst.

    That being said, if you can't "contain your feelings", just sit him down when he gets to your place and explain the situation to him like you explained it to us. If he's as good a friend as you say, he'll understand and create distance if you need it or be more aware about causing agony with casual touch and etc.

    You should be able to retain your friendship through this. You just have to focus on what your actions would cause in his life and stop yourself from committing actions that would make his life worse. That shouldn't be a problem though since, as his friend, a high quality life is what you should want for him too.
  • metta

    Posts: 39155

    May 17, 2012 12:18 AM GMT
    HawkEyez saidThx all for the replies


    He did sometimes say "I can't figure you out" if I would ask why he'll say something like "I don't know you're differend from any guy I ever knew". Few months ago he said to me in front of my brother "I have always found you a special kid, it seems you haven't changed one bit".

    Also my brother informed me that this wont be a 1time visit, he wants him to join our company! Not sure if he is going to accept it yet but it seems like life is toying with me................................

    I wont lie somewhere deepdown I actually want him back in my life again as a friend.. We had before a LDFriendship where I only saw him in the summer and back then I lived almost 3000km away, now he lives 4h driving away..
    ...I don't know what to think.. Honestly I'm already screwed cause he's not here yet and I'm already thinking of him this whole time..




    I think that you are reading way too much into what he has said. It sounds like he is just being friendly. If he meant what you thought it might mean, he would have said it privately and not in front of your brother. It sounds like you are already getting out of control. Make sure that you take care of your physical needs prior to seeing him.

    And every time you think of him look at this photo:

    Barbara%20Bush.jpg

    and think of this:

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 12:21 AM GMT
    ^
    In other words, jerk off before he arrives.

    And if it gets to be to much when you're around him, close your eyes and think about fat chicks and baseball (that always worked for me back in the day).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 12:21 AM GMT
    metta8 said
    Try to just approach it as a mature adult.
    If those thoughts enter then you need to acknowledge them and let them go. Do not dwell on them. You know they are not realistic so just let them go and move on from them. It is when you dwell on them that you are going to have a problem. Notice that I'm not asking you to push down your feelings. I think it is important to acknowledge them when they arise.

    This. Just because your libido says one thing, doesn't mean you have to act on it. You're a mature adult with responsibilities as is he.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 2:02 AM GMT
    I hate this part.. Admitting that you guys are right..

    @Animus

    I've let my selfish thoughts slip for a moment.. I would go through hell for him to be happy, even if that means.. another 5-6y of misery..

    Also as much as I want I can't talk to him about this.. Too much at stake..


    @metta8

    Thanks, that really changed my mood a bit! I needed that icon_smile.gif

    And yes, probably that's why it didn't affect me few months ago..
    That's the thing him being over friendly towards me was confusing.

    Ugh straight funny, sweet, kind, hot, sexy cute guys are such jerks!! icon_rolleyes.gif

    No but seriously, I'm 100% sure I can keep my hormones in check
    I did it before and I can do it again.. I'm just not sure if (what UndercoverMan said is true) he would be able too...

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 2:07 AM GMT
    credo said^
    In other words, jerk off before he arrives.

    And if it gets to be to much when you're around him, close your eyes and think about fat chicks and baseball (that always worked for me back in the day).


    lol thx for the suggestion..

    Again thx guys, really appreciate your thoughts about this matter!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 2:08 AM GMT
    credo saidDon't shit where you eat.



    ^^^ This.

    So either tell him what's going on, and make sure you keep your distance (and hands to yourself) if he stays with you.
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    May 17, 2012 2:15 AM GMT
    credo said^
    In other words, jerk off before he arrives.
    .





    I agree with Credo. Anytime I know I'm going to be around someone I kinda crushed on or a str8 guy totally my type I jerk off before meeting them. 3 or 4 times if I really need too.
















    In boot camp it was like an everyday need, god help.
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    May 17, 2012 2:19 AM GMT
    HawkEyez said
    paulflexes saidHe's probably ugly by now, so it should be a problem anymore.


    Last time I saw him which was few months ago, he actually looked better...
    Take a picture and fap to it to get it out of your system.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 2:21 AM GMT
    mynyun said
    credo said^
    In other words, jerk off before he arrives.
    .





    I agree with Credo. Anytime I know I'm going to be around someone I kinda crushed on or a str8 guy totally my type I jerk off before meeting them. 3 or 4 times if I really need too.
















    In boot camp it was like an everyday need, god help.
    Everyday? More like each HOUR!