Looking for a date online...and then running away when you find it.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 7:01 AM GMT
    Ever had someone ask you out online and then when you agreed they were all eeek and then they disappeared/flaked? This guy near me sent me a message we grab coffee sometime, and I was like sounds good how about this week, and he's like sure let's do it, and I was like awesome, Monday works for me and so does Friday or Thursday, so let me know which works for you.

    And dude of course completely vanished and I never heard from him again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 7:10 AM GMT
    he cray cray
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 7:37 AM GMT
    well cum 2 tha intar webz
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 8:16 AM GMT
    Fake profile. Wait for the follow up message where he says he had a family emergency or his best friend died or he got into fatal car accident and that he's actually messaging you from the afterlife.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 8:25 AM GMT
    xrichx saidFake profile. Wait for the follow up message where he says he had a family emergency or his best friend died or he got into fatal car accident and that he's actually messaging you from the afterlife.


    His profile's pretty legit (he's from BM not RJ). Lots of normal regular guy pictures. It just seemed like one of those "hey man let's meet up sometime!" "ok" "oh shit wait this is actually happening err....never mind >_>" kind of things.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 8:58 AM GMT
    I've had this happen a number of times. Pisses me off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 9:35 AM GMT
    You probably didnt put out enough icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 12:29 PM GMT
    When that happens, I'd consider is luck, you did not waste the time on the "date" or the money on the coffee or the time listening to what would have been an hour of gay drama, and you know a flake like this would have shown up a mess with all sorts of "stuff" going on in his life that he just had to unload on his new best friend.
    No, when you get flaked, look on it as a gift and move on quickly. Also, remember that face, flakes have a tendency to create new profiles and return in a couple of weeks, a couple of years younger, with a new name, maybe a better outlook, but generally the same flakiness.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 12:52 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidWhen that happens, I'd consider is luck, you did not waste the time on the "date" or the money on the coffee or the time listening to what would have been an hour of gay drama, and you know a flake like this would have shown up a mess with all sorts of "stuff" going on in his life that he just had to unload on his new best friend.
    No, when you get flaked, look on it as a gift and move on quickly. Also, remember that face, flakes have a tendency to create new profiles and return in a couple of weeks, a couple of years younger, with a new name, maybe a better outlook, but generally the same flakiness.


    AMEN
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 1:00 PM GMT
    I'll kill em for you ariodante, you know I would.

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 16, 2012 1:05 PM GMT
    Since I've been involved with my bf since I've been out, never had the experience...... I've had some odd experiences based on friends and their behavior however.

    Anybody who would do that to me, I'd immediately think they had lied about what they look like. I can't imagine they would just chicken out in that way.
  • nomadfornow

    Posts: 1069

    May 16, 2012 1:27 PM GMT
    Oh yeah, this has happened to me quite a few times. I try to tell myself that I dodged a bullet, and was spared any future bullshit as a result of the guy flaking out. But even so, it pisses me off, bums me out, and honestly, hurts. I always end up asking myself what I did wrong.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 1:34 PM GMT
    Oh gads, no different from real life (vs online) when I was young and single.

    My take was that if they did that, they had personal issues that I was better off not being saddled with.
    I was lucky to have friends I could bounce these experiences off with and talk about with and vent my frustrations with and....hey wait, that's just what we're doing here! icon_wink.gif


    (a warm hug to Ariodante and OneEightZero and nomadfornow)

    -Doug
  • stratavos

    Posts: 1831

    May 16, 2012 2:00 PM GMT
    OneEightZero saidI've had this happen a number of times. Pisses me off.


    I can only agree
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 2:09 PM GMT
    Yeah, what's even weider is when they chat with you for weeks before moving to Antarctica.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 2:15 PM GMT
    Claystation saidYou probably didnt put out enough icon_neutral.gif
    Lol*
    Unless he was frosted or falling from the sky there is no good reason to worry about a flake you're not better acquainted with... I like bore iffy guys to death when they interest in me, just to see how flakey they may be; then if they're pass that test they can get coffee. Usually guys who make excuses and flake make bad dates/boyfriends in my experience.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 2:36 PM GMT
    His profile's pretty legit (he's from BM not RJ)

    What's BM?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 2:41 PM GMT
    I'm more confused by the fact that the OP is using any form of online dating........your freakin gorgeous man you don't need to resort to it.

    Unless of course you are looking for something/someone more 'specific' icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 2:46 PM GMT
    Flakes online? Seriously?

    Sucks, man.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 2:58 PM GMT
    JPtheBITCH said
    Tenebrism saidFlakes online? Seriously?

    Sucks, man.

    I sense insincerity. Yes, I'm sad to say I do.


    Nah- just relating that I've run into it on all too many occasions. No snark intended.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 4:25 PM GMT
    Ariodante said
    His profile's pretty legit (he's from BM not RJ).


    Big Muscle and legit should not be used in the same sentence. One time I messaged about 5 guys from there, couple of them carried on a conversation and never got around to meeting. I seen it as basically a place to gawk at oneself and post public photos and stats. They aren't looking for dates.

    You're probably better off meeting guys off craigslist...or even better, the tiki bar. I know you got tiki bars in Tia...That way, you cut out the issue of trying to meet because you can meet the people who already out. 1 less thing to worry about.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 4:33 PM GMT
    It happens all the time. I find it even weirder when guys flake and then contact me again after a few weeks and do it all over again. I've let a couple of guys flake on me three times (obviously without putting any energy into it) but then I just block them.

    I'm convinced that this is such common behavior in the "hook-up" community that most of those guys line up two or three dates for a given weekend. At the last minute, they choose the one that seems best and flake on the other two. The others have done the same, so they move down the list to their number two. It's just a question of understanding the correct network protocol.

    Or they could just be assholes.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 4:44 PM GMT
    mindgarden said
    I'm convinced that this is such common behavior in the "hook-up" community that most of those guys line up two or three dates for a given weekend. At the last minute, they choose the one that seems best and flake on the other two. The others have done the same, so they move down the list to their number two. It's just a question of understanding the correct network protocol.


    I know one guy I met on adam awhile back...this guy literally shows up to the bar with a new guy EVERY time I see him out. Like I must have seen him out a dozen times. never once with the same guy. He also would flake on me if we asked to meet separately, but I always run into him at the bar. We had a talk once awhile back and he says it's basically his way of preventing himself from getting all worked up and disappointed. Some guys don't want to take risks.

    Me on the other hand...everyone knows I'm pretty consistent with the guys I meet. And if not, people are asking questions. You'll see me with the same guy consecutively unless we part ways.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 4:48 PM GMT
    Tallathlete24 said
    mindgarden said
    I'm convinced that this is such common behavior in the "hook-up" community that most of those guys line up two or three dates for a given weekend. At the last minute, they choose the one that seems best and flake on the other two. The others have done the same, so they move down the list to their number two. It's just a question of understanding the correct network protocol.


    I know one guy I met on adam awhile back...this guy literally shows up to the bar with a new guy EVERY time I see him out. Like I must have seen him out a dozen times. never once with the same guy. He also would flake on me if we asked to meet separately, but I always run into him at the bar. We had a talk once awhile back and he says it's basically his way of preventing himself from getting all worked up and disappointed. Some guys don't want to take risks.

    Me on the other hand...everyone knows I'm pretty consistent with the guys I meet. You'll see me with the same guy consecutively unless we part ways.


    Get a reality tv show on Bravo called "Everyone and their momma wants my fine black ass :
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 16, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    superblaster saidTHIS IS WHY I DONT BOTHER TRYING TO DATE GUYS ANYMORE.WHO NEEDS THE HASSLE?? JUST BANG EM AND MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ONE ! YEEEEAAAHHHHHH..


    That's an easy way out. Cop out.

    Besides, the OP's situation is not even about dating! For all we know, the guy probably just had hooking up on his mind. Hookups can flake and stand people up too, don't cha know. It's not exclusive to dating. This is an issue about intial meetups, not dating. You're not dating if you never met up before!