whats the weirdest reaction you've had when coming out to family and friends

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    May 16, 2012 10:14 AM GMT
    im just about to come out and very nervous, im just wondering if there is any funny stories or weird reactions of people you have told, just so i know its going to be ok

    many thanks look forward to reading :-)
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    May 16, 2012 11:44 AM GMT
    I decided to tell every member of my family separately, back when being gay was still a big deal. The funny thing was that each of them told me they were fine with it, but not to tell some other member of the family, because they wouldn't be able to handle it. My mom told me not to tell my younger brother, my aunt not to tell my mom, my younger brother not to tell my father, my father not to tell the cousins from out of state, etc.

    Then, the last one of the list was my older brother. I told him and he looked at me. Then he asked, "Who else knows?" I told him. "So I am the last one?" Sure looked like it - I didn't mean it to be the case, but it just worked out that way. "Why am I always the last one to know these things?" That was his entire reaction.

    Congratulations on coming out. It's nerve-wracking, but once you are done with it, you realize how heavy the weight on your shoulders has been.
  • ja89

    Posts: 789

    May 16, 2012 11:56 AM GMT
    I told a good friend of mine and he started crying...I said "WAIT...wasn't I supposed to be the one crying right now?" then he laughed.
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    May 16, 2012 12:01 PM GMT
    I got slapped .
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    May 16, 2012 12:24 PM GMT
    It was no big deal to the people who loved me. I don't get the drama I have heard from people. It's 2012, everyone knows about the gay. Maybe if you were coming out in 1950 it would be shocking, but now? Doubtful.
    Best reaction was my dad who was so calm and cool. You are not telling people you have cancer, you are telling people a good thing, that's what you need to keep in mind.
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    May 16, 2012 1:39 PM GMT
    I sat my grandma down when I was 18, and said I had to tell her something.
    She got shakey and nervous.
    I said I was gay.
    She said, "Oh, well I knew that. I was worried you got some girl pregnant!"

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    May 16, 2012 1:42 PM GMT
    teamzissou saidI sat my grandma down when I was 18, and said I had to tell her something.
    She got shakey and nervous.
    I said I was gay.
    She said, "Oh, well I knew that. I was worried you got some girl pregnant!"



    LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2012 1:51 PM GMT
    I told a female friend who I knew was going to be cool with it... only she immediately demanded that I be her shopping buddy, and then asked me later on that day to stay the night and sleep in her bed with her. icon_eek.gif

  • Dbrad3693

    Posts: 227

    May 16, 2012 1:57 PM GMT
    I told a good male buddy of mine
    He laughed said "Its cool"
    Then leaned back on the couch and spread both of his legs
    I said" WTF are you doing?"
    He replied " Well im trying to see, how do you guys do it? Like do you just stick it in there? Or do you like have to do it from the back?"

    HAHA my friend also has a little bit of s sick mind sometimes icon_rolleyes.gif
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    May 16, 2012 2:00 PM GMT
    No weird reactions from family or friends - but then it wasn't this big secret that I suddenly revealed to everyone in my life, it was a process that took a few years. Most of my friends knew from college on - but I didn't tell my parents until I was 26. They said all the right things. In the background they still had some adjustments to make, and they got used to it pretty quickly.

    The biggest reaction I got was from a girl I was sleeping with (just fooling around, nothing serious) in law school when I was still experimenting - when I decided that I wasn't really bi and wasn't really interested in doing the deed any more, she was just really, really disappointed. But we're still friends, to this day.

    So, even in the early '80s, it wasn't a huge deal in my personal life.

    Work is another story. I was the first out gay lawyer at an extremely prominent law firm, and it was an uphill battle all the way. I definitely suffered discrimination. Luckily, things are quite different now - I work in a place where diversity is valued and they actually seek out LGBT employees. We even have a semi-annual worldwide LGBT retreat where the LGBT employees from around the firm get together and do long-range planning, plus just have a little fun.
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    May 16, 2012 2:05 PM GMT
    Well I don't know about weird but some straight people when they find out im gay all of sudden start talking a little bit more to me. I mean it's obvious what just clicked on in their head so I guess it's more of a "Ohhh did not know you were interested in guys"
  • ATXnative

    Posts: 240

    May 16, 2012 2:09 PM GMT
    One time this girl cried.... I was flattered.
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    May 16, 2012 2:28 PM GMT
    I've got a gay/bi brother, the second youngest after me. I came out to the public when I was 14 in Jr.High. He came out to my sister when he lived with her when he was 16 years old. My family "thinks"/says I'm trying to be like older brother and don't know what I like? They really want me to have babies! Damn it. I want kids to, but would have to adopt if anything. No way I'm getting close to a clap trap!
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    May 16, 2012 2:30 PM GMT
    ATXnative saidOne time this girl cried.... I was flattered.
    You must be so butch! icon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gificon_twisted.gif
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    May 16, 2012 2:35 PM GMT
    The relative with whom I first I discussed it was my younger sister. Except SHE broke the news to ME, when I was 48.

    Our mother had already died, our father terminal but the news being withheld from him. I was visiting her when we had a long talk late at night, most of it reminiscing about family history things, our minds on our dying father.

    And then out of nowhere she said: "Well, Mom & Dad always knew you were gay." I almost fell off my chair, since I had only been out to myself 2 years, and hadn't told the family yet.

    "They told me right after you enlisted in the Army that they knew from the time you were a kid." (I was 20, she 17 when I enlisted in 1969). "They thought you made a mistake, that you would get killed by the other soldiers, or get thrown into military jail." I sat there speechless, and eventually changed the subject, not knowing what to say to her about it.

    She raised the topic again after our father did finally pass away, to tell me how much she hated me for being gay, and about other things in my life. I chose to never see her again, now 15 years.

    The next problem, though, was whether to tell my father, which I greatly wanted to do while I could. We'd been informed he only had a few months left, but he was being kept in the dark. My sister claimed he knew about me from the beginning, but I wondered if over the years he came to believe I had "grown out of it."

    I finally decided not to tell him. It seemed to me if the news would upset him, why make him unhappy in his last months? Was my motive in wanting to tell him more to ease my own feelings, rather than to make his difficult final days less stressful? And after all, hadn't his doctors recommended we not tell him he was terminal? (And later making me suspicious that my own doctors were doing the same thing when I developed the same cancer myself) But still a tough choice.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2012 2:35 PM GMT
    This was the very first coming out conversation I had with my close friend.

    Me - You know that girl that was hitting on me last night (at the club), the one that you ended up going home with?
    Friend - Yeeeah? icon_neutral.gif
    Me - Well, there is a reason I didn't make a move...
    Friend (nervous) - Uh huh? icon_confused.gif
    Me - Well, I know you think I'm shy, but the real reason is I'm gay.
    Friend - Oh Haha! I thought you were going to say you were angry at me for cutting in!
  • drypin

    Posts: 1798

    May 16, 2012 2:41 PM GMT
    It turns out my female friend in high school was in love with me. She bawled when I came out to her one weekend when she was visiting me in college. I'd let it slip that I had something to talk with her about. I'm afraid her mind took a whole different turn with that. Instead of a proposal, she gets the coming out spiel.

    (Bear in mind that, while she was a very dear friend, we had never done anything that I would have interpreted as remotely leading in that direction. She was just a very innocent girl with an active imagination and big dreams.)

    I actually felt a little ashamed of being gay for a few minutes - not because I thought there was anything wrong with it but because I might otherwise have been the answer to her dreams.
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    May 16, 2012 2:45 PM GMT
    I too was a total wreck, my stomach was turning, my face was red, my heart was beating, I was in a panic etc.. Then, I blurted it all out. The family looked at me and then said, " Pass the potatoes"...It was, a non event. I imagine a long time ago it was far worse than it is now. BUT, still, coming out of the closet is no easy task. BUT, all that is hard is worthwhile. You will love life outside of the closet ! Welcome to your new world, live long and celebrate..

  • May 16, 2012 2:48 PM GMT
    I told one of my friends and she screamed (out of excitement) and said "YES". I don't know why she was happier than I was. I think she was just proud of the fact that I was able to accept who I was.
  • gymrat1

    Posts: 132

    May 16, 2012 3:07 PM GMT
    smartmoney saidIt was no big deal to the people who loved me. I don't get the drama I have heard from people. It's 2012, everyone knows about the gay. Maybe if you were coming out in 1950 it would be shocking, but now? Doubtful.
    Best reaction was my dad who was so calm and cool. You are not telling people you have cancer, you are telling people a good thing, that's what you need to keep in mind.


    <3 <3 <3

    You, my friend, have an awesome father!
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    May 16, 2012 3:16 PM GMT
    I knew I was gay since before kindergarten but I let myself be seduced by a female in college and I wound up coming out to my mom as a "bisexual".

    Mom's very first words in response, said with her usual enthusiasm: "I always thought I was bisexual too." Then we went off to lunch.

    When I later came out to my childhood friends, generally they expressed disappointment in me that I hadn't opened up to them about my sexuality earlier, assuring me that them knowing would not have changed our relationships growing up. I think they're delusional by projecting how they thought later in life upon how they acted earlier but I appreciate their sentiment.

    In college I came out to my then best friend and roommate of 2 years who stupidly outed me to the entire 12-story building the very next day. Scared the hell out me though in retrospect everyone was quite kind. It took me a few years to sort it all out in my head but in retrospect I realized I screwed up some opportunities because some of the guys were coming onto me though I couldn't act on it at the time.

    If coming out wasn't such a fucking drag it actually could have been a lot of fun.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 16, 2012 3:17 PM GMT
    I told one of my long term friends (since 2nd grade) her response...

    "I don't believe this for a second, this is another one of your jokes isn't it"?

    She didn't have a problem accepting it, she just couldn't believe it initially.

    LOL
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    May 16, 2012 3:24 PM GMT
    Dbrad3693 saidI told a good male buddy of mine
    He laughed said "Its cool"
    Then leaned back on the couch and spread both of his legs
    I said" WTF are you doing?"
    He replied " Well im trying to see, how do you guys do it? Like do you just stick it in there? Or do you like have to do it from the back?"

    HAHA my friend also has a little bit of s sick mind sometimes icon_rolleyes.gif


    I completely forgot, that reminds me. I had a friend in college who wouldn't believe it. So he asked me in front of our other friends to hug to prove that I'm gay. We embraced for a longer than usual period supposedly until he was convinced.

    Then a bunch of us were on a roadtrip during a break. We stayed on my parent's boat for a few days and then on our way back to school we stopped off at friend's hotel who gave us some rooms. This guy and I wound up in the same bed. Though we fell asleep on separate sides, I woke up in the middle of the night to find our bodies completely entwined in each other and I know I didn't crank that up.

    Str8s, their such opportunists.
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    May 16, 2012 3:25 PM GMT
    My mother told me my grandmother accepted my being gay ...and my grandmother was dead. icon_eek.gif
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    May 16, 2012 3:30 PM GMT
    I was surprised at the number of my friends, especially women, who would reply, "Yeah... I know... I have been waiting for this."

    The funny thing is very few men said that, most men were surprised... I am not sure why so many women knew... maybe they are just saying that.