15 Powerful Things Happy People Do Differently

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    May 16, 2012 1:42 PM GMT

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  • GWriter

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    May 16, 2012 4:24 PM GMT
    Good reminder that happiness is a choice. Thanks for posting this.
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    May 16, 2012 4:35 PM GMT
    Please tell me this wasn't in Cosmo.

    I absolutely HATE simplistic lists. It's so easy to diagnose someone from afar, prescribing simple things that will make them less insufferable. But life isn't that simple.

    I've met people who are intensely happy with their unhappiness. You could call them drama queens, Negative Nellys, Debbie Downers. But their whole existence is wrapped around the misery in their life and how much it validates their martyrdom. Some of these people will never amount to anything (financially, socially) but their belief that they are the only one who can endure their near-Christlike travails is the only thing giving their shitty life meaning. Sure, I can't stand to be around them, but who am I to change their purpose in life?

    And, are some happy people just deluded? Bad shit happens all of the time, and do happy people block it from their mind? I've seen enough of that too, and I want to slap the silly fucking smile off of their face when they serenely praise Jesus for the tests he's putting them through, when it's obvious Our Lord was trying to tell them to Fucking Get Insurance Already.

    And on a final note, I'll admit I'm generally a positive, happy-ish person. But I'm not convinced the cult of Pursuing Happiness is the best bandwagon for us (personally and perhaps culturally) to be hopping on. I'm more a fan of the cult of Not Shitting On Others' Heads (EXCEPT with criticism). That seems more constructive.
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    May 16, 2012 5:04 PM GMT

    I liked a lot of this, some of it was a little too idealistic.

    Mickey, you gave me a good laugh with this truth, which I've noticed as well:
    "when they serenely praise Jesus for the tests he's putting them through, when it's obvious Our Lord was trying to tell them to Fucking Get Insurance Already."

    -Doug
  • neosyllogy

    Posts: 1714

    May 16, 2012 5:15 PM GMT
    Says who?
    Are there studies backing this up? (There are lots of good studies on happiness.) Seems like someone just wrote their personal thoughts down and presented them as self-evident truths... (not saying there isn't food for thought there)

    mickeytopogigio saidAnd on a final note, I'll admit I'm generally a positive, happy-ish person. But I'm not convinced the cult of Pursuing Happiness is the best bandwagon for us (personally and perhaps culturally) to be hopping on.


    I agree. I actually actively dislike happiness as a primary pursuit in and of itself (as an ancillary pursuit, by all means). It also seems to me that the people actively seeking happiness have little luck ever finding it. I think it's hard to be happy with just being happy. Improving some part of the world, doing something you respect, being someone you respect: I think is an easier route to happiness. But I don't have a study to back that up either. icon_razz.gif
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    May 16, 2012 5:18 PM GMT
    Scruffypup said

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    the first post in RJ that i really like
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    May 16, 2012 5:25 PM GMT
    Geeez still waiting for it to download, gotta love this dial up... it keeps you guessing. It's great to dream realistically... I try to be positive in most aspects of my life's mindset. Yes, usually i am a happy inspiring guy, but sometimes others can bring me down. Thank you Scruffy for posting this .... and i do think Mickey is right as well.... it's the mindset we have to keep on the good and lift the hearts of others with a smile. It bothers me about those who re-enforce that the afterlife will be better when they've never been there....aaaahhhhh.
    I think that if we all went by the old adage of Do unto others that to which you would justly wish to have done unto you... It would make the world a happier place.
  • metta

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    May 16, 2012 5:35 PM GMT


    http://www.cafemom.com/group/110860/forums/read/16543256/15_Powerful_Things_Happy_People_Do_Differently
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    May 16, 2012 5:40 PM GMT
    I actually agree with this 100%.

    Last year, I changed my paradigm to be very much aligned to all of these things and, overall, things were really good for me. I felt better about myself. I interacted better with people. I was a much happier person than I've ever been in my life. it was at this exact time that I started seeing a very tangible difference in my world around me.

    I'm unsure why some of you seem to be very critical of some of the points here, as they are all very practical and easily attainable, with the right focus. And, that difference in approach that you achieve makes a huge difference in how you feel and how people feel about you. They are not saying that you need to walk around with a fake smile on your face all day. It's not about being fake to the reality of what's around you. It's about changing how you react/respond to adversity so that it doesn't get you down. It doesn't change the reality, it just changes how you feel about the reality and how that feeling impacts your entire life.

    Honestly, I bought in when I thought about the people in my life who I perceived as "unhappy". When I assessed how they approached life, it was very much in line with what this article is saying "unhappy people" do.

    Late last year and early this year, I allowed some of my old psychological habits to get the best of me again and it's been tough to maintain the same attitude I had. But, I'm slowly feeling like I'm getting it back, but it's alot of hard work, but very much worth it.
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    May 16, 2012 6:04 PM GMT
    I'm working on it.

    I think the "dreaming big, being realistic" dichotomy bugs me. It's hard to be happy when even your realistic goals can't be met. Forget dreaming big.

    I was sure some kind of solid job prospects would open up this year. The last interview I had was in January, with only 9-18 hours/wk at minimum wage, without benefits and no raise for a year. My "wages" wouldn't cover my gas to get me to work and back. That's pretty fucking depressing. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. After that, I just gave up and returned to college.

    I'm in college again, waiting for this "economic cold" to pass. I am succeeding at that, and I'm impressing my teachers and the head of my history department. icon_redface.gif

    It doesn't pay, but it makes me so proud and happy. I'm making due with whats available.
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    May 16, 2012 6:27 PM GMT
    n8698u saidI'm working on it.

    I think the "dreaming big, being realistic" dichotomy bugs me. It's hard to be happy when even your realistic goals can't be met. Forget dreaming big.

    I was sure some kind of solid job prospects would open up this year. The last interview I had was in January, with only 9-18 hours/wk at minimum wage, without benefits and no raise for a year. My "wages" wouldn't cover my gas to get me to work and back. That's pretty fucking depressing. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. After that, I just gave up and returned to college.

    I'm in college again, waiting for this "economic cold" to pass. I am succeeding at that, and I'm impressing my teachers and the head of my history department. icon_redface.gif

    It doesn't pay, but it makes me so proud and happy. I'm making due with whats available.


    The key is to be happy even when your goals aren't being met. It just means that they're not being met based on your expectations. Eventually, they will be met. Also, when you want to achieve a goal, you have to be 100% definitive in achieving it.

    My personal example is this:
    I "dreamed big" a year and a half ago, and got a Director job, paying really good money, managing a large group of people. I couldn't be happier. But, things happened that were beyond my control and my position and the division were eliminated so I was laid off in December. I could have easily let this get me down, which at times over the two months it took me to secure a new position, it did. I thought of everything from repo of my car, filing bankruptcy, etc. However, I told myself that i had to stay true to my goal to react to adversity differently, where I didn't let it get me down.
    Eventually, I was able to secure a good-paying position (not as high as my prior job, but still better than the job I had before I became a Director), allowing me to stay in my current city, keep my car, pay my bills, work from home, not manage people, not have the stresses in my previous position. Those last 3 items are ones I "dreamed" of in the past.

    The change in paradigm is extremely difficult to achieve in a short period of time. It takes ALOT of effort and you have to make sure that your doubts don't contradict your goals/dreams. That's been my biggest constraint in my 41 years and continues to be my struggle today.
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    May 16, 2012 6:39 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio said:

    Please tell me this wasn't in Cosmo.

    I can't say I've ever read Cosmo, but since you think this belongs in it, apparently you do. icon_eek.gif


    I absolutely HATE simplistic lists. It's so easy to diagnose someone from afar, prescribing simple things that will make them less insufferable. But life isn't that simple.

    This little article is no different than everything else in life.....you take what you can use from it (if anything) and apply it to your life to make it better. Then you move along. Not sure why a positive article would upset you so much.


    I've met people who are intensely happy with their unhappiness.

    We obviously have very different views on the meaning of "happiness".


    "... I want to slap the silly fucking smile off of their face when they serenely praise Jesus for the tests he's putting them through, when it's obvious Our Lord was trying to tell them to Fucking Get Insurance Already."

    Who mentioned anything about "Jesus"?


    And on a final note, I'll admit I'm generally a positive, happy-ish person.

    I can tell. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    May 16, 2012 7:08 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidPlease tell me this wasn't in Cosmo.

    I absolutely HATE simplistic lists. It's so easy to diagnose someone from afar, prescribing simple things that will make them less insufferable. But life isn't that simple.

    I've met people who are intensely happy with their unhappiness. You could call them drama queens, Negative Nellys, Debbie Downers. But their whole existence is wrapped around the misery in their life and how much it validates their martyrdom. Some of these people will never amount to anything (financially, socially) but their belief that they are the only one who can endure their near-Christlike travails is the only thing giving their shitty life meaning. Sure, I can't stand to be around them, but who am I to change their purpose in life?

    And, are some happy people just deluded? Bad shit happens all of the time, and do happy people block it from their mind? I've seen enough of that too, and I want to slap the silly fucking smile off of their face when they serenely praise Jesus for the tests he's putting them through, when it's obvious Our Lord was trying to tell them to Fucking Get Insurance Already.

    And on a final note, I'll admit I'm generally a positive, happy-ish person. But I'm not convinced the cult of Pursuing Happiness is the best bandwagon for us (personally and perhaps culturally) to be hopping on. I'm more a fan of the cult of Not Shitting On Others' Heads (EXCEPT with criticism). That seems more constructive.


    The winner, hands down! Less focus on yourself is the answer to being happy.
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    May 16, 2012 7:09 PM GMT
    But there are some kernels of truth in there.... icon_cool.gif
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    May 16, 2012 7:20 PM GMT
    mickeytopogigio saidPlease tell me this wasn't in Cosmo.

    I absolutely HATE simplistic lists. It's so easy to diagnose someone from afar, prescribing simple things that will make them less insufferable. But life isn't that simple.

    I've met people who are intensely happy with their unhappiness. You could call them drama queens, Negative Nellys, Debbie Downers. But their whole existence is wrapped around the misery in their life and how much it validates their martyrdom. Some of these people will never amount to anything (financially, socially) but their belief that they are the only one who can endure their near-Christlike travails is the only thing giving their shitty life meaning. Sure, I can't stand to be around them, but who am I to change their purpose in life?

    And, are some happy people just deluded? Bad shit happens all of the time, and do happy people block it from their mind? I've seen enough of that too, and I want to slap the silly fucking smile off of their face when they serenely praise Jesus for the tests he's putting them through, when it's obvious Our Lord was trying to tell them to Fucking Get Insurance Already.

    And on a final note, I'll admit I'm generally a positive, happy-ish person. But I'm not convinced the cult of Pursuing Happiness is the best bandwagon for us (personally and perhaps culturally) to be hopping on. I'm more a fan of the cult of Not Shitting On Others' Heads (EXCEPT with criticism). That seems more constructive.



    THIS! AGREE.
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    May 16, 2012 7:32 PM GMT
    Well, I tried deleting this thread but it won't let me because there have been too many comments. Sorry it's caused such negative reactions. Wasn't my intention. I got something positive out of it so I thought I would share. Guess I should have known better.
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    May 16, 2012 8:37 PM GMT
    Pretty damned accurate list, have to say.

    Unfortunately, there are so many negative bellies out there, especially the one making "oh woe is me" posts looking for a pity-party. They are the ones who need to see this list, but are most likely to be disinterested in this post.
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    May 16, 2012 8:43 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidWell, I tried deleting this thread but it won't let me because there have been too many comments. Sorry it's caused such negative reactions. Wasn't my intention. I got something positive out of it so I thought I would share. Guess I should have known better.


    Scruff, the ones who have negative things to say are truly the ones who need to make a focused effort to practice these points. I'm not downing them at all, but I feel it's really true. A thread like this NEEDS to stay visible because many need to take it to heart.
  • beaujangle

    Posts: 1701

    May 16, 2012 10:57 PM GMT
    Scruffypup saidWell, I tried deleting this thread but it won't let me because there have been too many comments. Sorry it's caused such negative reactions. Wasn't my intention. I got something positive out of it so I thought I would share. Guess I should have known better.



    Please don't delete this excellent thread!
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    May 16, 2012 10:59 PM GMT
    Unhappy people live longer than happy people. Happy people take foolish risks like swimming with sharks or sky diving, which ironically leads to their untimely deaths. Depressed people are more creative and cautious which equates to a longer life span according to some scientific studies.
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    May 16, 2012 11:09 PM GMT
    What, no music?


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2012 11:32 PM GMT
    You read this in Guns & Ammo, didnt you
  • socalfriend1

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    May 16, 2012 11:32 PM GMT
    Excellent. I liked this very much. Thanks for sharing it.
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    May 16, 2012 11:41 PM GMT
    Trollileo saidYou, sir, are going to get reamed in a bit for that one.


    Promises promises icon_rolleyes.gif
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    May 16, 2012 11:49 PM GMT
    When I saw that reading the list might require thought, I cautiously put it away for later, because I could not see straight at the time. Glad you could not delete it.