How Should I Come Out?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 16, 2012 11:31 PM GMT
    Lately the idea's been in my head to come out and for a while I felt like it would never work and sometimes I feel like it will, but even then I never really thought about how I should do it. Do I just call my family around and announce it? Or do I just say stuff like "he's hot" and when they ask me what I mean just act as if it's a normal thing and not even go into it unless they want to.

    I was also thinking of coming out to friends, before my family (they are still maybe/maybe not to come out to just yet) but I do want to come out to some of my friends just don't know how to say it. I know they wouldn't mind and one of them I think has been like trying to get me to admit it to her already (she's a really good friend and I think it's because she has a hot gay friend she wants to introduce me to).

    So how should I come out to my friends and family?
  • dabcrt

    Posts: 512

    May 17, 2012 2:06 AM GMT
    A BIG wig and killer heels should take care of iticon_eek.gif
  • makhot

    Posts: 43

    May 17, 2012 2:12 AM GMT
    Well I would start with whomever you most comfortable with preferably a close and trustworthy friend. I would do it individual by individual, starting with those who are less influential in your life, you know, just so you can get a little practice. I found the more people I came out to the easier and the better I got at it.. got me prepared for my family, which i must say is still a work in progress. Good luck icon_smile.gif
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    May 17, 2012 2:15 AM GMT
    MarkRoger saidSo how should I come out to my friends and family?
    Get caught in action with another guy.
    It worked well for me. icon_biggrin.gif
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    May 17, 2012 3:21 AM GMT
    With a great deal of fan fare and a big brass band!



    Seriously, though, come out first to someone who will be most supportive amongst your friends and who will be most supportive amongst your family members and expand from there. Before you do that you can come out on here.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 3:25 AM GMT
    Nonchalantly! I came out in an off hand comment. Think I was drinking, cause after I went to visit my family in CO at the time, I came out again! Must've been drinking a lot both times. But the second time was the special one. I was legal to drink that time!
  • citypartyboy

    Posts: 187

    May 17, 2012 3:27 AM GMT
    good luck!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 3:36 AM GMT
    Billboard.
    Final answer. icon_biggrin.gif










    But seriously, tell the ones that are very close to you. Extended family or "friends" that are more like acquaintances are not entitled to knowing anything. If they ask you, sure, just admit it and move on. But yea, just let the ones closest to you know and let the rest find out when they find out. Coming out shouldn't have to be this big, complex, planned event icon_smile.gif
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    May 17, 2012 3:40 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    MarkRoger saidSo how should I come out to my friends and family?
    Get caught in action with another guy.
    It worked well for me. icon_biggrin.gif


    Yeah if I could find a guy to get into some action with, sure why not lol.

    And thanks, I think that I'll tell certain people and build like some support in case things go bad with others at least I can fall back on someone.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    May 17, 2012 3:51 AM GMT
    The low key approach sounds sensible. Thinkof it as letting them know about something important to know because you are both close.

    After you do it, try not to make too big a deal. Let them have time to adjust.

    Pulling for you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 4:08 AM GMT
    Why come out when you can live in the closet until you're dead? icon_confused.gif
  • BmwKid92

    Posts: 1097

    May 17, 2012 4:39 AM GMT
    unfounded7 saidWhy come out when you can live in the closet until you're dead? icon_confused.gif


    and we have a winner
  • LexLuthor

    Posts: 199

    May 17, 2012 4:50 AM GMT
    This is kinda what I've been trying to think about, how to really tell people, I've only told one person and we were talking about sex and how girls keep getting pregnant, and I decided to mention that I can't get a guy pregnant so I'm good, and that's how I told the first person lol. Not really sure how to bring it up to other people or just randomly insert that into a convo "yeah so that movie was im gay a really good movie, you should go see it."

    and still trying to get thr courage to do this.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 4:51 AM GMT
    unfounded7 saidWhy come out when you can live in the closet until you're dead? icon_confused.gif
    Because death usually comes sooner in the closet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 5:09 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidBecause death usually comes sooner in the closet.

    Is there evidence to support this?
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    May 17, 2012 5:57 AM GMT
    MarkRoger saidLately the idea's been in my head to come out and for a while I felt like it would never work and sometimes I feel like it will, but even then I never really thought about how I should do it. Do I just call my family around and announce it? Or do I just say stuff like "he's hot" and when they ask me what I mean just act as if it's a normal thing and not even go into it unless they want to.

    I was also thinking of coming out to friends, before my family (they are still maybe/maybe not to come out to just yet) but I do want to come out to some of my friends just don't know how to say it. I know they wouldn't mind and one of them I think has been like trying to get me to admit it to her already (she's a really good friend and I think it's because she has a hot gay friend she wants to introduce me to).

    So how should I come out to my friends and family?


    You're from the islands dude. My advice to you would be to not make a big deal of it. I would come out to a few people, one or two, at a time, and even then after you tell them let them tell the others; trust me, they will. Choose two people: the cousin you trust the most to keep secrets and the cousin you know can not keep any secret about any body. Let those two carry the word, quietly. By the time de wurd gets back to you, your mission will be accomplished and life can go on as normal.
  • ursa_minor

    Posts: 566

    May 17, 2012 6:08 AM GMT
    i started with one friend at a time. if i get them alone in my car or in a casual conversation, i just blurt it out without thinking of consequences.

    i used to hold back, thinking of how bad it would turn out (but it never really did).

    i had a nice cuddle with an ex one time and the next day i had a full Joan-of-Arc courage to out myself to 4 persons in one day. it seems having that someone in your life gives you more willpower to overcome the FEAR.

    ...also, one time 3 glasses of wine helped a lot

    cheerios!
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    May 17, 2012 6:38 AM GMT
    Get hammered and just blurt it baby!

    That was one of my friend's startegy at least. icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 6:46 AM GMT
    One-on-one rather than a big event/scene. Start with your most trustworthy and open-minded friends for practice, then tell a family member. That's unless you have a particular family member that you have a huge comfort level... but from what you've said elsewhere I don't think that's the case.
  • CincyBOJ

    Posts: 306

    May 17, 2012 6:49 AM GMT
    Flash Mob.... talk to Howie


    http://www.fox.com/mobbed/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 7:47 AM GMT
    I wish you luck, really do
  • Karl

    Posts: 5787

    May 17, 2012 7:53 AM GMT
    you should write a letter icon_smile.gif
    Good luck !
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 8:11 AM GMT
    Wishing you the best of luck with this! Big hugs!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 7:24 PM GMT
    Ask your parents if they could sit down and talk with you alone. Let them know that you love them and you hope they can accept what you're about to say and then tell them. I know it's easier said than done for most people but it worked out pretty well for me. Hope it goes well! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 17, 2012 7:25 PM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    paulflexes saidBecause death usually comes sooner in the closet.

    Is there evidence to support this?
    No, because closeted guys who kill themselves generally don't leave a note saying why.