The misconception that being tall = being dominant/ a top.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 18, 2012 4:00 PM GMT
    What are your thoughts?

    Ever since I graduated from college I had made a choice to start hitting the gym on the regular to shake the, "You are way too skinny" talk. Back in my running days I weighed in at 155lbs, so at 6'4" I was, in fact, just skin and bones!! Now, being slightly more solid at around 190lbs, I have a nice lean/muscular exterior and still looking to gain some more!

    Anywho, I digress...I have noticed a trend over the past year, that of the men who are interested in talking to me...typically younger, shorter, skinnier etc. Granted, there are cases of outliers, but not enough to skew this trend. Don't get me wrong, I love the attention, but many of them assume that I'm going to be the dominant male and in cases of sex, the top. I can be in certain ways, but the later is simply not true. Maybe this is why at the age of 26 I can still count on one hand how many sexual partners I've been with or I'm just a prude hahahahaha icon_twisted.gif

    Although I don't like many of his videos, I just had to laugh at the one below when I saw it, because it was spot on!


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    May 18, 2012 5:01 PM GMT
    The bigger the biceps, the bigger the bottom.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2012 2:27 PM GMT
    Dont judge a book by its cover?????????????????????????.......icon_confused.gificon_cool.gificon_lol.gif
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    May 19, 2012 2:32 PM GMT
    The video cracked me up. I had actually seen it almost a year ago I think, and the "taller" guy was a dead give-away as to being a vers, maybe even a vers/bttm. Anyways, at 6'4 like you are, it comes down to visuals. You are WAAAY above average height for men, and height is one of society's focal equators of dominance (at least physically.... one could argue money has become the main equator. "breadwinner" and such).....

    Anyways, it's just the way we're conditioned. Since the odds are in your favor that you'll find someone substantially shorter than you based on averages, one would just assume you would be the top, even though there are short tops matched with taller bottoms.

  • Montague

    Posts: 5205

    May 19, 2012 2:41 PM GMT
    Every guy I know over 6'4 is a bottom.
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    May 19, 2012 2:46 PM GMT
    Just wear a t-shirt that says 'bottom' when you go out.
  • mustangd

    Posts: 434

    May 19, 2012 3:16 PM GMT
    at 6'5, and older, i can relate, both tend to typecast me as a top, reversing the roles would be nice from time to time.
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    May 19, 2012 3:20 PM GMT
    I am friends with, and messed around with, a great looking guy who's about 6'3", hung like a donkey and giggled while we made out. Sometimes outsides don't match inside and vice versa.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    May 19, 2012 3:23 PM GMT
    someguy saidI am friends with, and messed around with, a great looking guy who's about 6'3", hung like a donkey and giggled while we made out. Sometimes outsides don't match inside and vice versa.



    viva lah diff-ah-rance icon_exclaim.gif


    icon_biggrin.gif
  • vintovka

    Posts: 588

    May 19, 2012 3:24 PM GMT
    I get approached by guys who assume I'm not just a top but also into heavy bondage, etc. People have a hard time disconnecting reality from the movie scripts they're constantly writing in their own heads. Personally I think the "top/bottom" thing is a holdover from the straight world. If I'm a man and I'm with a man, why should we not be flexible about our relationship? (and obviously the top/bottom thing frequently assumes a power imbalance out of the bed as well, which I think is unhealthy.)
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    May 19, 2012 3:38 PM GMT
    vintovka saidI get approached by guys who assume I'm not just a top but also into heavy bondage, etc. People have a hard time disconnecting reality from the movie scripts they're constantly writing in their own heads. Personally I think the "top/bottom" thing is a holdover from the straight world. If I'm a man and I'm with a man, why should we not be flexible about our relationship? (and obviously the top/bottom thing frequently assumes a power imbalance out of the bed as well, which I think is unhealthy.)


    Don't make it into some complex bs psychology, some guys are just into ass, some guys just into penis. Some into vagina and some all flexible all over the place. that's about it.
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    May 19, 2012 3:43 PM GMT
    LOL....this is such a funny video....

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    May 19, 2012 3:44 PM GMT
    FootballHawk said
    vintovka saidI get approached by guys who assume I'm not just a top but also into heavy bondage, etc. People have a hard time disconnecting reality from the movie scripts they're constantly writing in their own heads. Personally I think the "top/bottom" thing is a holdover from the straight world. If I'm a man and I'm with a man, why should we not be flexible about our relationship? (and obviously the top/bottom thing frequently assumes a power imbalance out of the bed as well, which I think is unhealthy.)


    Don't make into some complex bs psychology, some guys are just into ass, some guys just into penis. Some into vagina and some all flexible all over the place. that's about it.


    Touche. But, how do you really feel? ;P lol
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    May 19, 2012 4:39 PM GMT
    teach_miaz said
    FootballHawk said
    vintovka saidI get approached by guys who assume I'm not just a top but also into heavy bondage, etc. People have a hard time disconnecting reality from the movie scripts they're constantly writing in their own heads. Personally I think the "top/bottom" thing is a holdover from the straight world. If I'm a man and I'm with a man, why should we not be flexible about our relationship? (and obviously the top/bottom thing frequently assumes a power imbalance out of the bed as well, which I think is unhealthy.)


    Don't make it into some complex bs psychology, some guys are just into ass, some guys just into penis. Some into vagina and some all flexible all over the place. that's about it.


    Touche. But, how do you really feel? ;P lol


    I like me penis if that's what you're saying icon_razz.gif
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    May 19, 2012 4:40 PM GMT
    teach_miaz saidWhat are your thoughts?

    Ever since I graduated from college I had made a choice to start hitting the gym on the regular to shake the, "You are way too skinny" talk. Back in my running days I weighed in at 155lbs, so at 6'4" I was, in fact, just skin and bones!! Now, being slightly more solid at around 190lbs, I have a nice lean/muscular exterior and still looking to gain some more!

    Anywho, I digress...I have noticed a trend over the past year, that of the men who are interested in talking to me...typically younger, shorter, skinnier etc. Granted, there are cases of outliers, but not enough to skew this trend. Don't get me wrong, I love the attention, but many of them assume that I'm going to be the dominant male and in cases of sex, the top. I can be in certain ways, but the later is simply not true. Maybe this is why at the age of 26 I can still count on one hand how many sexual partners I've been with or I'm just a prude hahahahaha icon_twisted.gif

    Although I don't like many of his videos, I just had to laugh at the one below when I saw it, because it was spot on!





    I agree its not about height but more attitude. Just by talking to someone in real life, I can tell if they are top or bottom.
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    May 19, 2012 5:08 PM GMT
    bhp91126 saidJust wear a t-shirt that says 'bottom' when you go out.


    Better yet, have it on the back of a t-shirt with an arrow.
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    May 19, 2012 5:36 PM GMT
    FootballHawk said
    teach_miaz said
    FootballHawk said
    vintovka saidI get approached by guys who assume I'm not just a top but also into heavy bondage, etc. People have a hard time disconnecting reality from the movie scripts they're constantly writing in their own heads. Personally I think the "top/bottom" thing is a holdover from the straight world. If I'm a man and I'm with a man, why should we not be flexible about our relationship? (and obviously the top/bottom thing frequently assumes a power imbalance out of the bed as well, which I think is unhealthy.)


    Don't make it into some complex bs psychology, some guys are just into ass, some guys just into penis. Some into vagina and some all flexible all over the place. that's about it.


    Touche. But, how do you really feel? ;P lol


    I like me penis if that's what you're saying icon_razz.gif


    Guess we will have to flip flop lol icon_twisted.gificon_eek.gif
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    May 19, 2012 5:38 PM GMT
    Sparks said
    bhp91126 saidJust wear a t-shirt that says 'bottom' when you go out.


    Better yet, have it on the back of a t-shirt with an arrow.


    Better yet, have it tattooed on your back, along with an arrow pointing down saying bottom?! LMAO icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2012 5:41 PM GMT
    I slept with a 6'5 bottom once. I was a tad disappointed because like the OP says people usually associate bigger guys with being the dominant one,

    I felt kinda stupid with my short 5'10 ass ploughing this huge man ! Everything about the way he looked made me want to bend over and submit.
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    May 19, 2012 5:43 PM GMT
    teach_miaz said
    FootballHawk said
    teach_miaz said
    FootballHawk said
    vintovka saidI get approached by guys who assume I'm not just a top but also into heavy bondage, etc. People have a hard time disconnecting reality from the movie scripts they're constantly writing in their own heads. Personally I think the "top/bottom" thing is a holdover from the straight world. If I'm a man and I'm with a man, why should we not be flexible about our relationship? (and obviously the top/bottom thing frequently assumes a power imbalance out of the bed as well, which I think is unhealthy.)


    Don't make it into some complex bs psychology, some guys are just into ass, some guys just into penis. Some into vagina and some all flexible all over the place. that's about it.


    Touche. But, how do you really feel? ;P lol


    I like me penis if that's what you're saying icon_razz.gif


    Guess we will have to flip flop lol icon_twisted.gificon_eek.gif


    you make me wanna icon_twisted.gificon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2012 6:10 PM GMT
    I'm one of those guys who is tall and a jock, so I've usually been thought of (or typecast) as only a top.........and I've surprised more than a few guys when they found out I'd do more than just top.
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    May 19, 2012 6:14 PM GMT
    I tried to find this study of gay men's sexual habits and its not a misconception. It does work out that smaller guys tend to be bottoms and larger guys tend to be tops (body size.. not penis size icon_razz.gif).

    So in general I would say it is true, but there are always exceptions and with the gay community I think there is a far more variance than you'd find in other groups.
  • Generaleclect...

    Posts: 504

    May 19, 2012 7:31 PM GMT
    It works in reverse, too - if you're short, you're a total bottom.

    I really wouldn't care if a bottom was 4'11 or 11'11; an ass is an ass. Personally, I think it's hot when a bigger guy likes to bend over.
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    May 19, 2012 7:45 PM GMT
    I am 5.7+ approx. 5.8
    & i always had my bottoms boyfriends who were 6 or more!

    & i am a top too

    So this is a misconception for sure
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2012 8:19 PM GMT
    Hmmmm, there's also the popular misconception that being short(5'6 and below) equals a submissive bottom. icon_confused.gif

    Oh hey, i'll make a thread about that!