Virgin Bad?

  • fit19

    Posts: 15

    May 19, 2012 6:07 PM GMT
    Hey all,

    If you could take some time out of your day to help me/give me some advice, I'd really appreciate it.

    About myself:
    I'm 20 years old, athletic, in shape, and I like to say attractive (but not drop dead model), and motivated. I'm about to graduate college and start my masters, and I'm just one of those people that loves life and everything in it.
    Family, friends, I tend not to judge, I tend just to try and stay happy with every moment that I get.

    I've messed around with guys before, and have done literally everything except the actual sex (top/bottom). I know everyone's philosophy is different, and I 110% respect that, mine is just I want to wait until I am happy with someone, and in the long run I want to be happy with someone, so why not wait, or atleast wait until I feel the moment is right?

    Is it wrong to think like that? There's this guy I really like, and he seems attracted/into me, but I get the tendency he is more into just hooking up rather than wanting anything else. And I feel he almost makes fun of me because I am a "virgin". I get that being a virgin might not be "cool," and I get I'm probably more inexperienced/may not understand, but at the same time, I don't feel I should have to sacrifice my virginity just to impress some guy.

    I don't know. I just wanted to hear other people's stories, or maybe someone that can relate. I think we all have to go through these types of issues at some point in our life, this is just one I have to deal with right now.

    Thanks guys!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2012 6:10 PM GMT
    fit19 saidHey all,

    If you could take some time out of your day to help me/give me some advice, I'd really appreciate it.

    About myself:
    I'm 20 years old,
    Funny that your profile says 72.............icon_rolleyes.gif
  • fit19

    Posts: 15

    May 19, 2012 6:18 PM GMT
    I am haha....I usually don't get on these sites except to browse around.

    Here's a pic of me..zabyi.jpg
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    May 19, 2012 8:50 PM GMT
    There's nothing wrong with waiting until you find someone you care about before you take the plunge, and if you engaged in oral sex I would hardly consider you a virgin. Besides, there are lots of gay men who don't engage in anal sex, so if it's something you're just not into, that's ok.

    But, if it's something that you'd like to be doing, don't wait until you're 40. You'll be wasting a lot of time!
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    May 20, 2012 1:01 AM GMT
    fit19 saidI am haha....I usually don't get on these sites except to browse around.

    Here's a pic of me..zabyi.jpg

    All I can advise is to stay true to yourself. If you don't want to have sexual (anal) intercourse until in a committed, or at least genuinely serious, relationship, there's nothing "wrong" or "to be embarrassed" about that at all. So don't sweat it... icon_wink.gif

    (And btw, judging from this pic of yours, you're cute-as-hell... icon_wink.gif )
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 1:07 AM GMT
    When you are ready to have full-fledged sex with someone, that will be your decision alone.

    There will certainly be some "men" on here who will tell you that you need to go buck wild and have as much sex as you can; there will be others who will tell you to stop acting like a pussy and man up and have sex; and others will chastise and criticize you for your decision.

    But none of that bullshit matters. What DOES matter is your own decision and what YOU choose to do with your body, whether you wait until you are 25 or 35. It's your body, your health, and your choice.

    Now don't get me wrong about sex; it IS important in a relationship but if the sex goes, you sure as hell better have something else there to hold the relationship together.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    May 20, 2012 2:45 AM GMT
    This really is not about getting married, it is about getting laid.

    If you want to play romance, fine. Many guys you meet will not feel that way.

    Whatever you decide is OK, but you have to decide.
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    May 20, 2012 2:58 AM GMT
    don't do anything you don't want to, especially for some dumb ass guy, if waiting for the right guy is what you want then do it and don't pay attention to what anybody says, its your choiceicon_biggrin.gif
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    May 20, 2012 3:02 AM GMT

    "I've messed around with guys before, and have done literally everything except the actual sex (top/bottom)."

    This concept never fails to mystify me.
    Consider this: Actual sex is any physical contact with sexual intent, where you and your contact, or one of you, climax.

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    May 20, 2012 3:41 AM GMT
    i'm in the same boat as you.. ive done everything except for sex but cant seem to find the right guy i want to fuck.. and i know some ppl dont care at all who they fuck but i do so i m willing to wait a couple more years I dont want to regret it, so do it when it feels right
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 3:43 AM GMT
    Nothing wrong with waiting for the right one. I think it's romantic and ought to be encouraged in my opinion. icon_smile.gif
  • Slickdog21

    Posts: 164

    May 20, 2012 3:46 AM GMT
    I'm waiting for the right one too. The only difference is that I'm not a virgin. icon_smile.gif
    Hey! Nothing's wrong with what you're doing. I think that's very respectable and you should hold that boundary with any man you may come across in the future. Personally, I have my eyes on my virgin gay friend. I'm just waiting to see where things go.
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    May 20, 2012 3:48 AM GMT
    I'm the exact same way. Most I've ever done with a guy was go to third base, but I've never had a relationship before. My friends are trying to get me laid but they're also not good friends, I hate to say.
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    May 20, 2012 3:51 AM GMT
    Do what you want to do; no one can tell you what is right or wrong in these situations. However, my advice would be don't start to think of your virginity as something so sacred that you'll put of actually having sex with someone you really like because he's not 'the one'. If it feels like the right time with a guy, then do it. How you define the 'right time' will be up to you.
  • Splendidus_1

    Posts: 611

    May 20, 2012 4:25 AM GMT
    dash_8 saidDo what you want to do; no one can tell you what is right or wrong in these situations. However, my advice would be don't start to think of your virginity as something so sacred that you'll put of actually having sex with someone you really like because he's not 'the one'. If it feels like the right time with a guy, then do it. How you define the 'right time' will be up to you.


    ^This

    Ultimately, you're the only one who has the answer. I too was in your position, until last summer I decided it was time to do it (since I was starting to think it was a huge deal). I ended up doing it with someone who meant nothing to me, and I regret it. But what's done is done. Still, I'm kind of relieved that I done it, because I know myself - I'd make two worlds out of it.

    The thing is, don't put yourself up to do something just because of what others might think. Do what feels right to you. If you feel like waiting, then do it! But like Dash_8 said, don't hold it like it's something sacred haha.
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    May 20, 2012 4:30 AM GMT
    trust your instincts dude, would be my advice.
  • bischero

    Posts: 847

    May 20, 2012 4:44 AM GMT
    I'm almost 22 and am proud to say that I'm still a virgin. No need to loose it due to some skanky night at the club or something. Your virginity is what you make of it. Like other people have said, stay true to yourself and there is no rush! icon_smile.gif
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    May 20, 2012 7:16 AM GMT
    I kinda share your issue.... See i have lived mosy of my life in dubai, and its illegal to be gay in here they punish you for being one, they block the sites for gay dating ( except for this site. thank god) but any way i havent been in any sexual acitivity with any guy since i turned gay 5 years ago, am almost 21 and still a virgin which sucks ass icon_sad.gif
    But the good thing that i will live in canada soon and start seeking guys for relationships, dating and so on icon_biggrin.gif its just being a virgin is kinda hard....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 7:24 AM GMT
    i feel that same way and i 2 am a virgin
  • fit19

    Posts: 15

    May 20, 2012 8:09 AM GMT
    I just want to say, you guys ROCK.

    Haha. You really do.

    You have no idea how much better reading all of these made me feel.

    I just wanted to know I wasn't alone, you know?

    I don't consider my virginity "sacred', as I've already done stuff, but I want to lose it when it's the right time. When I want to do it, not because I feel I have to or else I'm going to be judged/not as impressive if I don't.

    And since I'm 20, my perspective is obviously not as broad. What I see is probably completely different from someone who is older and wiser.

    Anyways, thank you guys so so much. You really have no idea how much I appreciate it.
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    May 20, 2012 9:08 AM GMT
    Well, by the way you describe it, it does sound like your friend is probably not serious about you. He wants to have sex with you, but doesn't want anything serious. Don't give into him just because he is teasing you.

    I believe that people should get the V card out of the way and get on with their lives, but you do want it to be with the right guy, and be an experience that won't leave you crying in an alley. Think to yourself, if you do it with him and then he flakes on you afterward, how will you feel? If you will be devastated, then he is not for you.

    But don't put too high a set of expectations on your first anal experience either, it is usually not the best you will have ;) Practice makes perfect. Just look for a guy that you like to have fun with, is sexy, and is eager to please you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2012 3:24 AM GMT
    hey,u should not have to have sex unless u want,even if it is to make d guy u like happy........he has to accept ur thoughts and actions because only u can decide what is best for u caus watever u decide will b ur load to carry.......wait until ur ready.........dnt stress bro