Do all gay men just want sex?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2012 7:04 PM GMT
    I've been trying to find a date for over a month now, I mean every day i spend at least 2 hours online, gaydar.co.uk, ladslads, adam4adam, match.com, or on grindr or maleforce on my iphone. I've gone to bars alone like twice a week solely to find a date, I've joined a couple of gay sports groups in the city i am in, but no one wants a relationship, it's all "will you fuck me" or " do you do chem sex?" im sick of it all! I can't take any more of it! where did you find your halfway not dull boyfriend? i am almost 22 and three years of being out and i havent found a single relationship, i think theres someone wrong with me.
  • Beeftastic

    Posts: 1747

    May 19, 2012 9:15 PM GMT
    Nice face pics will increase your chances of meeting someone online exponentially. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • starboard5

    Posts: 969

    May 19, 2012 9:28 PM GMT
    There's nothing wrong with you, other than being mature for 22.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2012 9:29 PM GMT
    Well all the methods you're using are places where people go for hookups.
    A4A, grindr, etc. guys on there aren't looking for relationships.
    At bars and the gym you'll find some guys who want sex, some who want relationships you just have to sort them out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2012 9:30 PM GMT
    for now its yes i wanna enjoy first then after i get tired then im ready for relationship yay
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2012 9:32 PM GMT
    Look at the 6 hours cuddling vs. 1 hour sex thread. I'd say "no":
    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/1784114

    But it's all about context. If you're using certain sites to meet guys, the expectation is for hookups.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2012 9:36 PM GMT
    Yes. All Gay Men just want sex. We just want our dicks sucked and on e we shoot it's all over.

    We are not Human Beings with thoughts and heart and soul and kindness an capacity for Love


    We are good Guys dudes. Can we just acknowledge that we are good guys that Love each other???

    Is it really that hard to be decent to one another????
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2012 9:37 PM GMT
    Cash said
    Is it really that hard to be decent to one another????


    Nope! icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2012 9:51 PM GMT
    YES! It's definitely better with someone you have a deep abiding love for, but hookup sex can be pretty damned good too. Maybe you can find a nice fuck buddy relationship that would blossom into a beautiful relationship.
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    May 19, 2012 9:53 PM GMT
    JPtheBITCH saidOf course we want sex.
    And good lighting.
    At this stage of my life the sex is optional, but good lighting is mandatory.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2012 10:18 PM GMT
    there's nothing wrong with you. agree with some guys who say that the sites you're using are primarily for hookups. also agree to some lesser degree that guys around your age are looking to have fun and not get too serious. but with both, there will be exceptions.

    i think searching online for relationships is a bit tilted. online personals sites have the user-experience of a catalog. its like we're shopping for something on ebay. and if you think about it, thats just crazy. you can't tick off a bunch of check boxes, press enter, and wind up with a deep and meaningful and long-lasting relationship. human interaction is more complex and nuanced than that.

    i think they are useful for socialising, for identifying what and who interests you, for making contact, but the depth and meaning of a relationship is always going to be through getting to know someone. learning to trust them and for them to trust you. and building up some personal intimacy.

    some of my gym buddies and sports league friends have crossed over into being personal friends. i think its because through working out or playing sport, we've realised that we have interests, outlooks on life, and other things in common with each other. the rest are just like contacts i'd have at work or school. i also volunteer in the gay community and have met some good friends that way. all of my boyfriends have been made through contact at uni, through sport, or through mutual friends. only one was made through a website (ironically, it was the most meaningful one, but also the most hurtful when we broke up 4 yrs later).
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 19, 2012 11:51 PM GMT
    Have you tried like, OKCupid? Doesn't hurt to try. I'd like to check it out some time.
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    May 20, 2012 12:01 AM GMT
    I posted a thread about this similiar topic yesterday about asking if there were any Gay LTR dating web sites instead of the normal hook up sites and took it down b/c it got no response at all and it made me feel like dork asking and getting no response.

    People say you should not use online to find serious relationships but its not exactly easy in the homophobic and largely heterosexual world we live in to randomly ask dudes we do not know their sexuality yet on a date.

    I would think by now there would be atleast one Gay LTR dating web site up b/c by looking at the cuddling vs fucking thread there is a big market for it it seems.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 3:03 AM GMT
    NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!icon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 3:04 AM GMT
    you sound desperate
  • JeanPierre

    Posts: 19

    May 20, 2012 3:07 AM GMT
    I think it depends on the types of men with whom you relate. If you go to gay bars or connect to the "gaydar" or gay chats probably you will find this kind of persons. On-line is unlikely that you can find guys who look the same that you BUT there are some. A relationship takes time and space for meet better that person and on-line all is so fast, for short time and impersonal too... The best way for me is meet guys that are presented by your friends, guys that at least you have a reference of how they are or what they seek...

    Hope you can find that guy. Good Luck!
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    May 20, 2012 3:12 AM GMT
    BeachBodyDave saidI posted a thread about this similiar topic yesterday about asking if there were any Gay LTR dating web sites instead of the normal hook up sites and took it down b/c it got no response at all and it made me feel like dork asking and getting no response.

    People say you should not use online to find serious relationships but its not exactly easy in the homophobic and largely heterosexual world we live in to randomly ask dudes we do not know their sexuality yet on a date.

    I would think by now there would be atleast one Gay LTR dating web site up b/c by looking at the cuddling vs fucking thread there is a big market for it it seems.

    I'm sorry I missed your topic, because I think highly of you and would have responded.

    As for darren, this forum is loaded with topics about men looking for relationships.

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 3:31 AM GMT
    Tenebrism said
    JPtheBITCH saidOf course we want sex.
    And good lighting.
    At this stage of my life the sex is optional, but good lighting is mandatory.


    HAHAHA, Totally Agree! icon_biggrin.gif
  • masculumpedes

    Posts: 5549

    May 20, 2012 3:43 AM GMT
    No...some of us look for "other things"....icon_wink.gif
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    May 20, 2012 3:44 AM GMT
    malefeet saidNo...some of us look for "other things"....icon_wink.gif


    Yeah, like home decor and good food.

    I'm hungry now...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 3:50 AM GMT
    NoOO!! definitely its a NO! by all means! ~ what they just want is Love!!! that purity bond speak louder then just sex!. We are beings that meant to love and if sex is what you see then you are not that sentiment being that walks on earth. Get yourself a bigger spectrum of life, then you know how snail, plants and butterflies makes Love! ~ Its all around you!

    Gay is not a cancer cell in mother-nature registers! ~ ignorant and deviant beings are!. Fine tune yourself.icon_wink.gif

  • Slickdog21

    Posts: 164

    May 20, 2012 3:50 AM GMT
    Nothing's wrong with you, we've all been there before. But I do believe that you're looking in the wrong places. Maybe you could try meeting other gay people through your friends. That way you may have more in common with them and hopefully will have a better chance at something real. Good luck!
  • metta

    Posts: 39095

    May 20, 2012 3:54 AM GMT
    Nope....I have been celibate for many years and I'm not the only one. Random sex just does not appeal to me. I'm not suggesting that you need to be celibate. And I'm not recommending that you even consider it.

    But I would like to suggest that you not go to hookup sites to find a relationship. Try one of the more relationship oriented sites. I'm sure that relationships can happen on any site but they have not been designed for that purpose so those sites do not generally encourage relationship oriented people.

    http://www.okcupid.com

    http://www.onegoodlove.com

    http://www.chemistry.com

    There are others.


    Just...whatever you do...be careful...take your time...because not everyone is honest out there.....and try and enjoy the process of finding someone.
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    May 20, 2012 3:58 AM GMT
    darren222 saidI've been trying to find a date for over a month now, I mean every day i spend at least 2 hours online, gaydar.co.uk, ladslads, adam4adam, match.com, or on grindr or maleforce on my iphone. I've gone to bars alone like twice a week solely to find a date, I've joined a couple of gay sports groups in the city i am in, but no one wants a relationship, it's all "will you fuck me" or " do you do chem sex?" im sick of it all! I can't take any more of it! where did you find your halfway not dull boyfriend? i am almost 22 and three years of being out and i havent found a single relationship, i think theres someone wrong with me.


    I swear if there was a way to REVOKE a gay card it would be well overdue for these obsessed crybablies who are in love with the idea of having a boyfriend. God it's so past time to explain that fostering a long term relationship is not sunshine and lollipops like you Cinderella wannabe's think it is. I love my man. I really do but it's not always a perfect day. Believe it or not there are even days the sex doesn't happen or it just end's up being ... EH. There are moments you look across the room and say to yourself.. That bitch gets on my last fucking nerves. My suggestion is to stop LOOKING for a bf. Stop fantasizing about a BF. Let it happen when it will happen. He may be the guy that wants to have sex with you the moment you met. It's ok. If every single person who you encounter wants to fuck you then you must be one incredible human being or you are one fat fucking liar and embellishing all of that just a bit. Chances are you may just be presenting yourself as a potential lay to get noticed and when he thinks thats what it's all about suddenly you retract and start the whole bitching about .. Don't ya wanna date me routine? Otherwise known as a cock tease and for some a complete psycho. So relax. Go out and have fun. Meet all kinds of guys. Stop making finding the ultimate lover a priority. Be safe but don't be a fucking bitch. You get no prize for withholding unless you are looking for writeup on Yahoo that you remained a gay virgin for 72 years.

    I wanted to add... Just wait til your first failed "relationship" that you so desperately wanted. You'll be so exhausted with that shit you'll tell yourself it will be a long damn time before that happens again and suddenly casual safe sex ocassionally isn't so damn bad after all.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 4:03 AM GMT
    GigoloAssassin said
    malefeet saidNo...some of us look for "other things"....icon_wink.gif


    Yeah, like home decor and good food.

    I'm hungry now...

    Don't forget about high IQ's and Ph.D's!
    Aside from not having a face pic, you're lost without those.
    Don't look online... have you tried a rehab clinic??