Do you have friends like this?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 12:02 AM GMT
    I'm not out and I have a straight friend that I'm extremely close with. I would just say he's comfortable with his sexuality and that we're just good friends but I think it might be more than that. We go out together a lot he calls me hubby, bf etc.. When he spends the night he always sleeps in my bed. We cuddle and lay together all the time. He always tells me that he loves me. Just last night he was going on an overnight trip and asked me to stay in his hotel room with him. I said sure and asked if he had 1 or 2 beds. He said "1 of course". So I'm confused here. It never goes much further than groping, grinding and cuddling. To top it all off he has a girlfriend I recently met. She says shes jealous of me and thinks of herself as the 3rd wheel.

    Any of you have similar friends like this? I'm not sure if I should just come out to him. Or if he's messing with me or what.
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    May 20, 2012 1:14 AM GMT
    C'mon guys. No one had any experiences with misleading or confusing guys? I just don't know what to do in this situation.
  • tautomer

    Posts: 1010

    May 20, 2012 1:23 AM GMT
    I think it might be something worth sitting down with him, and having a heart to heart discussion about what goes on between you two. If just for the fact that it can and will get in the way of his girlfriend. Which, could easily damage your friendship with each other.

    I think both of you need to really ask yourselves "why am I do doing this?" and figure out the root and source of it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 1:24 AM GMT
    When he spends the night he always sleeps in my bed. We cuddle and lay together all the time. He always tells me that he loves me. Just last night he was going on an overnight trip and asked me to stay in his hotel room with him. I said sure and asked if he had 1 or 2 beds. He said "1 of course". So I'm confused here. It never goes much further than groping, grinding and cuddlingTo top it all off he has a girlfriend I recently met. She says shes jealous of me and thinks of herself as the 3rd wheel.

    I think that pretty much sums up as a closet gay or bisexual... The way he reacts is definitely not a straight guy would do. You could come out to him and see what he's going to do? If he's react negatively, just say you went along with his stupid mind confusing actions.
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    May 20, 2012 1:27 AM GMT
    Are you kidding. Of course this is not a regular friendship. No straight guy is going to cuddle, grope or grind with another guy. Next time, why don't you take it a step further and see where it leads to.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    May 20, 2012 1:29 AM GMT
    If I had a friend like that, I doubt if I would have a partner.....LOL
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    May 20, 2012 1:30 AM GMT
    If you two are that close and he is that comfortable with his sexuality, why are you still in the closet to him?

    I wonder if your friend is on another gay forum asking "I have a straight friend who am very intimate with, I invite him to share a bed with me and he never refuses, do you think he is gay?"
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    May 20, 2012 2:02 AM GMT
    sweetyork saidAre you kidding. Of course this is not a regular friendship. No straight guy is going to cuddle, grope or grind with another guy. Next time, why don't you take it a step further and see where it leads to.

    Idk I guess a lot of it comes down to me being afraid that he will reject me or be freaked out by me to be honest.
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    May 20, 2012 2:26 AM GMT
    WestCoastGuy saidC'mon guys. No one had any experiences with misleading or confusing guys? I just don't know what to do in this situation.


    Yes and he is now sleeping in my bed which i'm avoiding by "working" on my project all night long..

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2374083
  • waccamatt

    Posts: 1918

    May 20, 2012 3:53 AM GMT
    Of course he's coming on to you - if you're not out to him then he probably is thinking the same about you as you are about him.
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    May 20, 2012 3:54 AM GMT
    HawkEyez said
    WestCoastGuy saidC'mon guys. No one had any experiences with misleading or confusing guys? I just don't know what to do in this situation.


    Yes and he is now sleeping in my bed which i'm avoiding by "working" on my project all night long..

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/2374083


    I knew I wasn't the only one.
    let me know how things turn out
    or well how this night turns out as well.
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    May 20, 2012 3:56 AM GMT
    waccamatt saidOf course he's coming on to you - if you're not out to him then he probably is thinking the same about you as you are about him.

    He has a girlfriend too though. And I would feel kind of bad if we just fucked around behind her back. He would get the best of both worlds and I would end up being his secret or something.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 4:05 AM GMT
    I'm not sure if you got a car without an engine; or an engine without a car? icon_confused.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 4:09 AM GMT
    things like this happen. i enjoy my cuddle time with my best friend. do i hope it'd go farther? yep, but i love his friendship more than i wna get my dick wet.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 4:10 AM GMT
    JoyfullyRandom saidI'm not sure if you got a car without an engine; or an engine without a car? icon_confused.gif


    Either analogy works. icon_confused.gif
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    May 20, 2012 4:12 AM GMT
    intensity69 said
    JoyfullyRandom saidI'm not sure if you got a car without an engine; or an engine without a car? icon_confused.gif

    Either analogy works. icon_confused.gif
    Screw the car and the engine, let me have the Driver! icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 4:12 AM GMT
    It may be that he's gay himself and into you. Or he could be bi... or he could be completely straight. To me, it sounds like he's at least bi. I mean, if there's groping, grinding, and cuddling going on... it sounds like he's into you, at least physically. It doesn't necessarily mean he wants to break up with his girlfriend and have a relationship with you, though.

    I sort of had a similar experience with a straight friend before I came out. I think he could sense that I was into dudes and a little into him. So he would stroke my leg and get really close and be really flirty. For a little while I thought he might be bicurious and I thought maybe he was daring me to take things further. But maybe it was all subconscious, because when I finally came out to him, he seemed a little surprised and since then, all the touching and joking has pretty much stopped.

    So it might be that he's straight, but he's subconsciously aware that you're not and for some reason, he feels comfortable being physical with you in ways he doesn't with other guys. I know that seems kind of weird, but that's how I think of my experience with my straight friend, who's been dating (and fucking) the same girl for four years.

    My advice? Come out to him. If you think he'd be receptive to that, I mean. I knew my friend wouldn't have a problem with it. And actually, once I came out to him, I felt a lot more comfortable around him.
  • sinnersedge

    Posts: 14

    May 20, 2012 4:13 AM GMT
    Need to tell him that you are gay and the way he acts with you is tiring emotionally. Start dating other guys if he reacts badly. Which, if he's a true friend he won't care if you are gay. He'll just stop doing all the cuddling, groping etc.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    May 20, 2012 4:13 AM GMT
    Force his hand a little and see what he does about the girlfriend. she is really not your problem. He is the one who has to make that call. Put another way, you figure out what you want and go for it. Then he can make his decisions.

    As for her being a third wheel, girlfriends often are, even for straight guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 4:17 AM GMT
    I suggest you tell him everything. Be honest. Ask questions and answer his fully. I was in exactly the same situation and I decided to talk with him about it. He got really weird and denied anything "gay" and 'acted' as straight as he could for the next few days. BUT, its now four years later and he's in the process of coming out of the closet to us (all his friends). Society forces some of us guys to hide the gay and to be ashamed of it, but I believe that sexuality is intrinsically part of who a person is and whatever that sexuality may be, it should be followed, not avoided. The process of accepting our own sexuality can be quick or long depending on the individual and their situation.
    Perhaps this conversation could be a pivotal stepping stone that helps your friend along on his journey to find out who he really is. Even if you don't get a positive response, you may have done him a huge favour concerning the rest of his life! And, ensuring his long term happiness is something a good friend does.
    If he responds positively, you'll probably the the happiest boy on the planet. If he responds negatively, don't feel embarassed or ashamed. It takes courage and balls to have this kind of conversation and regardless of the outcome, you acted bravely and honourably. Then, I suggest you be patient. be helpful and supportive. play the waiting game. Even if it takes years. It's possible you may not have a boyfriend if he comes out, but you'll still have a gay brother to welcome to the team and that in itself is worth this one conversation. Go talk to him icon_smile.gif All the best!
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    May 20, 2012 4:27 AM GMT
    VSG1290 saidIt may be that he's gay himself and into you. Or he could be bi... or he could be completely straight. To me, it sounds like he's at least bi. I mean, if there's groping, grinding, and cuddling going on... it sounds like he's into you, at least physically. It doesn't necessarily mean he wants to break up with his girlfriend and have a relationship with you, though.

    I sort of had a similar experience with a straight friend before I came out. I think he could sense that I was into dudes and a little into him. So he would stroke my leg and get really close and be really flirty. For a little while I thought he might be bicurious and I thought maybe he was daring me to take things further. But maybe it was all subconscious, because when I finally came out to him, he seemed a little surprised and since then, all the touching and joking has pretty much stopped.

    So it might be that he's straight, but he's subconsciously aware that you're not and for some reason, he feels comfortable being physical with you in ways he doesn't with other guys. I know that seems kind of weird, but that's how I think of my experience with my straight friend, who's been dating (and fucking) the same girl for four years.

    My advice? Come out to him. If you think he'd be receptive to that, I mean. I knew my friend wouldn't have a problem with it. And actually, once I came out to him, I felt a lot more comfortable around him.


    Yeah I definitely thought at the very least he must be bi or curious. I mean he picks me up and puts me on top of him cowboy style. Somehow I just don't think 2 straight guys would do that alone in a hotel room. That's why I started this thread. I know sexuality is different for everyone. But this is like mind fucking with me. I'm going to see him next month and when I do I hope to try and talk some things out with him.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 4:42 AM GMT
    Fuck! I wish I had a friend like that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 4:43 AM GMT
    If you fell for a straight guy you'll always end up loosing, beleive me... Sometimes if you´re having feelings for someone even if he moves his right arm to scratch himself you'll take it as a sign of him wanting to hug you.. beleive me it's not healthy. So unless he openly tells you something or you openly tell him something to clear thing up then my advice would be to ignore all the fact 'cos odds are he's not into you.
    Hope this helps somehow and good luck ;)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 20, 2012 4:46 AM GMT
    ya I do - several of them.
    One, in particular, always tells me how "if he was gay" we'd be together because I'm so hot blah blah
    We cuddle in his bed, he always asks me to stay over, calls me babe and is always hugging me and kissing me (on the cheek). Someone took a pic of him kissing me on the cheek and he had it framed and it's hanging on his wall lol
    But he isn't gay.... he's just completely comfortable with his sexuality.
    So like others have said be honest but just be careful what you say to him in case you're only misinterpreting his actions. Good luck!
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    May 20, 2012 4:54 AM GMT
    Helios69 saidFuck! I wish I had a friend like that.


    It sounds like a lot more fun than it is. It's more tiring now than anything else really.