Who's your biggest critic?

  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    May 21, 2012 5:31 AM GMT
    You know, the person who always has to tell you when you do something wrong. They usually seem to have a small little tiff with your appearance on most occasions. If you have an idea, well they "don't quite get it." You finally accomplished something and they go off on a tangent about how you could have achieved this so much earlier if you had done x, y and z. They want to mold your future for you.


    For me this would be my brother, who I love to death, but find myself arguing with more than a brainwashed evangelical zealot and a glitter princess twink.
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    May 21, 2012 6:01 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidYou know, the person who always has to tell you when you do something wrong. They usually seem to have a small little tiff with your appearance on most occasions. If you have an idea, well they "don't quite get it." You finally accomplished something and they go off on a tangent about how you could have achieved this so much earlier if you had done x, y and z. They want to mold your future for you.


    For me this would be my brother, who I love to death, but find myself arguing with more than a brainwashed evangelical zealot and a glitter princess twink.


    I think that I'm my biggest critic....I say that everyone is entitled to an opinion, but only I'm entitled to the decision lol and if they don't like my decision, who the fuck cares? I tell them "that sounds like a personal issue to me" and keep it movin hahaha
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    May 21, 2012 9:15 AM GMT
    Mom of course !
  • Bunjamon

    Posts: 3161

    May 21, 2012 11:26 AM GMT
    Definitely myself.
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    May 21, 2012 11:41 AM GMT
    Me.

    To an extreme.

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    May 21, 2012 1:33 PM GMT
    That's not a critic, that's an asshole. I have several close friends who are my biggest critics. If they agree with me on something they will tell me and why. If they think I have my head up my ass (and this is often), they will also tell me and why. That is what a critic (as well as a friend) should be. But someone who constantly picks you apart for the littlest things without equally celebrating your successes is not a critic, that is someone who has his/her own insercurities and/or jealousies they are hiding under a layer of "helpful criticism."
  • great_scott

    Posts: 519

    May 21, 2012 2:05 PM GMT
    Just me, myself and I. I don't think anyone else cares that much. icon_lol.gif
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    May 21, 2012 2:06 PM GMT
    MuscledHorse saidThat's not a critic, that's an asshole. I have several close friends who are my biggest critics. If they agree with me on something they will tell me and why. If they think I have my head up my ass (and this is often), they will also tell me and why. That is what a critic (as well as a friend) should be. But someone who constantly picks you apart for the littlest things without equally celebrating your successes is not a critic, that is someone who has his/her own insercurities and/or jealousies they are hiding under a layer of "helpful criticism."

    I totally agree to this. Giving constructive criticism is to help you improve, not to bring you down. My best friend is my biggest external critics while I am my biggest critic internally. I am constantly evaluating myself and what I've done to see if I can improve or if there was something I could have done better or add to it.
  • calebiscrunk

    Posts: 8

    May 21, 2012 2:07 PM GMT
    My penis. And he normally responds positively with huge loads, and negatively he tends to play dead.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    May 21, 2012 6:08 PM GMT
    MuscledHorse saidThat's not a critic, that's an asshole. I have several close friends who are my biggest critics. If they agree with me on something they will tell me and why. If they think I have my head up my ass (and this is often), they will also tell me and why. That is what a critic (as well as a friend) should be. But someone who constantly picks you apart for the littlest things without equally celebrating your successes is not a critic, that is someone who has his/her own insercurities and/or jealousies they are hiding under a layer of "helpful criticism."


    Well to him, he's "just trying to help."
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    May 21, 2012 6:11 PM GMT
    No one.
    Because
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  • Steven791

    Posts: 95

    May 21, 2012 6:30 PM GMT
    I'm my biggest critic. I accept the... constructive feedback of others but I am my own worst critic.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    May 21, 2012 6:31 PM GMT
    Wow most of you guys said yourself.

    I see no reason to be so hypercritical of myself.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    May 21, 2012 6:47 PM GMT
    Funny, but I would have to say that it's my boss. Though she and I work well together for the most part, sometimes I'm taken aback by some of the critcisms she comes up with (most aren't necessarily constructive, but just to make a point). Sometimes she even makes a point of going beyond just comments about work, saying things like "You forgot to shave," since I usually like to have a bit of scruff (meanwhile I'm always the best-dressed person in the office).

    Most times I just let it slide, but every now and then I just think: WTF?
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    May 21, 2012 6:51 PM GMT
    Myself. I will change my clothes like four times before I'm happy.
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    May 21, 2012 6:55 PM GMT
    My father and older brother
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    May 21, 2012 6:57 PM GMT
    I wonder if it is a common theme among most gays to be their own biggest critics... or if that can be expanded on most of the populace.

    Hmm
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    May 21, 2012 7:01 PM GMT
    Bunjamon saidDefinitely myself.



    SAME HERE! I am always my own harshest critic.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    May 21, 2012 7:07 PM GMT
    I have this "friend" who will critisize lots of things I do....or wonder "why"...

    she had a hard time accepting the fact I was gay when I first came out to her 3 years ago... she just couldn't "get it"....like u said.....

    Since, coming out to her...she expects me to tell her everything, that I should have "nothing to hide, at this point" yet when I tell her about a date I went on, or a guy I met.... or whatever she gets super annoyed and starts freaking out and telling me how I should have more self-respect and I deserve better and I need to be careful, etc etc....

    I deep down think it makes her angry and almost a bit jealous when she hears about me choosing to spend my time with a guy vs. her...a girl...but she'll use the guise of "i just really care about you, i just worry, i want the best for you" yet no one will ever be good enough...

    ie, like a month ago, I met this guy in NYC....It was a short visit. I met him in the lobby of his hotel...we chatted for about 10 minutes in the lobby (big, busy hotel, lobby)...after 10 minutes he invited me up to his room.... I agreed...I went up to his room and we just talked, hung out, etc. Nothing sexual happened, except at the end we made out for like 5 minutes.....that's it...

    whatever, so I tell her that I met this guy in NYC etx...and she went off on me about how stupid i was for just going up to someon's room, I could have been beaten and killed, it could have been a trick just to beat up a gay person, etc. U need to make better choices, etc. icon_rolleyes.gif

    anyway, it goes on and on, but shes def my biggest critic... even the clothes I wear. if she doesn't approve, she'll let me know.
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    May 21, 2012 7:12 PM GMT
    TheBizMan saidI wonder if it is a common theme among most gays to be their own biggest critics... or if that can be expanded on most of the populace.

    Hmm


    I'm certain this is common for most people.
  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    May 21, 2012 7:20 PM GMT
    Stuttershock said
    TheBizMan saidI wonder if it is a common theme among most gays to be their own biggest critics... or if that can be expanded on most of the populace.

    Hmm


    I'm certain this is common for most people.


    Well I dunno. Gays at large don't get as much love and support as straight people. They don't have as many external motivators or people to push them to new places.

    I think gay people often times must be self reliant and push their way to the top through gut feelings and intuition. It seems to me that this would internalize a self-critical disposition.
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    May 21, 2012 7:26 PM GMT
    I like perfection, but perfection does not exist. I am pretty confident but not high on myself, yet I want to be the best i can in the physical sense, spiritually and my work. I wish I was easy on myself, no wonder I am still single LOL
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    May 21, 2012 7:42 PM GMT
    I think that everyone harbors an inner voice that can be overly critical at times, and that it affects gays and non-gays alike. We live in a society that is bombarding us all the time with messages of inadequacy, usually to prompt us to buy something to assuage our misgivings about how we look or appear to the outside world.

    I do think that gay men and lesbians experience this at a broader and deeper level than non-gays. I just read an interesting book by Alan Downs called "Velvet Rage" and it has to do largely with the internalized sense of inadequacy experienced by many gay men. Left unexplored or unprocessed, it can lead to intense self-hatred, which in turn can lead to self-destructive behaviors such as addictions and inability to form intimate relationships.

    I'm not saying it applies 100% across the board, but there are certain components that are sure to ring true for many of us.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    May 21, 2012 7:49 PM GMT
    me