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fat men
paerva Posts: 3	Jul 23, 2008 6:45 PM GMT Quote Do you find attractive a fat man? or almost a boy with a little belly? like a bear, cub or chubby? Or are you looking for a slim/athlethic/muscular man?

Sedative Posts: 5115	Jul 23, 2008 6:50 PM GMT Quote Yes, I'm generally more attracted to stocky men, even slightly chubby ones. And I distinctly prefer bears/cubs to thin guys, coz I'm a thin guy myself. That said, that's just physical. It's like this: Thin < Fat < Slim < Average < Muscular < Stocky
Caslon7000 Posts: 7446	Jul 23, 2008 7:00 PM GMT Quote definitely not into fat...i wouldnt even find myself attractive....I would prolly only settle for someone like me cuz I couldnt get anyone better ....losing that fat in the middle is a fucking bitch...a fucking bitch I say! Aaaaarrrrgggghhhhh! I dont know how guys who lose a lot of weight can do it. I get hungry and then it's fuck this shit, I'm gonna eat ...any other questions?
StripperRocco Posts: 1905	Jul 23, 2008 7:42 PM GMT Quote Nope... The first thing i think of when i see a fat guy is "lazy". I can't deal with lazy, it's the second most unattractive quality a man can have.
ncsucarjock88 Posts: 33	Jul 23, 2008 7:45 PM GMT Quote I have a really hard time with fat people. More than 10# over normal, and I dont' find you attractive. I even have a problem with fat people in public...well, obese is probably a better term. I feel horrible for them, and wonder why in the world they don't change some things... Wonder why I don't like fat people... EDIT: the above was not meant...don't like - as in don't want to talk with...but as in, don't want to date...see my further post later for more explanation
Hidden/Deleted Member	Jul 23, 2008 7:48 PM GMT Quote i'll second stripper being thin/buff/muscular takes self control and dedicaiton. diet control and exercise are also imperative to good health and if a guy doesn't want himself to be healthy, how can i expect our relationship to be?
Jockbod48 Posts: 1334	Jul 23, 2008 7:49 PM GMT Quote I find fat guys pretty disgusting - like drunks. I've heard far too many fat guys waste everyone's time in the office telling us all about it - oh yeah, they know exactly what is what with nutrition and exercise. They are getting a trainer and that 100 pounds will be off in no time! Right. Never happens.....all we have is mere conversation. I think if I had a drinking problem or a fat problem, it didn't happen over night. It would be up to me to get off my ass and clean up my act right now.
Gigadu Posts: 1093	Jul 23, 2008 7:56 PM GMT Quote Meh - I race in duathlons. That answer the question?
zdrew Posts: 1838	Jul 23, 2008 7:57 PM GMT Quote I can find a larger man emotionally attractive, sure. But physically attractive? No. I like my men lean but muscled. Hell, maybe it's the curse and bane of our gay culture, but I barely find myself tolerably lean, and even that changes on a daily basis.
a1972guy Posts: 1748	Jul 23, 2008 7:58 PM GMT Quote NO!
StripperRocco Posts: 1905	Jul 23, 2008 7:58 PM GMT Quote zdrew saidI can find a larger man emotionally attractive, sure. But physically attractive? No. I like my men lean but muscled. Hell, maybe it's the curse and bane of our gay culture, but I barely find myself tolerably lean, and even that changes on a daily basis. A reading from the Book of Gay Reality
sluggo_la Posts: 98	Jul 23, 2008 7:59 PM GMT Quote Ouch! This thread is really getting rough. Has it gotten to the point that since it's not PC to bash gays, races and religions we're aiming for the fat people? To answer your question, paerva, I'm typically not attracted to "fat" guys, but I'm not offended by them either. However, I believe that there's a lid for every pot, and there are thousands of guys that prefer overweight guys.
docmarvy Posts: 96	Jul 23, 2008 7:59 PM GMT Quote Beyond being a taste issue, I think this is also a question of semantics. Like there's a point at which fat is unquestionably hugely fat. But then there's guys like me. No six-pack, but instead sporting a masculine man-paunch/belly. And StripperRocco is a little off-base, because I'm not lean, but I'm FAR from lazy. I bust my ass at the gym at least five days a week. Ride my bike, stairmaster 30-45 minutes at a stretch, lift hard. I get sweaty from exertion, not from wolfing down donuts. That said, I'm still "obese" by BMI standards. I'm endomorphic and while I can trim down, I'll never have a "swimmers build". And Caslon is certainly right, it's a pain in the ass to get weight off the middle (god knows I try), and he managed to do it without posting a pic of a lolcat. (j/k) I think it's better to draw as succinct a line as possible between stocky/beefy (unquestionably hot) and fat (the lazy kind that Stripper was talking about). Of course, for my taste, thick muscular is best. And thankfully my muscular guy likes my masculine paunch, which is officially my new term for my gut, because it sounds so much better.
Luckydog76 Posts: 827	Jul 23, 2008 8:01 PM GMT Quote A little overweight- I can deal with if the guy is truly trying to lose weight ( exercise, diet). Obese and making an afternoon of McDonald's, uh.....no. No respect for that person at all. And please don't give me your lip service as well.
Salubrious Posts: 373	Jul 23, 2008 8:02 PM GMT Quote Staying thin isn't always about dedication, sometimes it's just genetics. As for me, I think anywhere in the healthy weight range is fine. Just because your body fat percentage isn't below 10 doesn't mean that you are unhealthy.
StripperRocco Posts: 1905	Jul 23, 2008 8:03 PM GMT Quote sluggo_la saidOuch! This thread is really getting rough. Has it gotten to the point that since it's not PC to bash gays, races and religions we're aiming for the fat people? To answer your question, paerva, I'm typically not attracted to "fat" guys, but I'm not offended by them either. However, I believe that there's a lid for every pot, and there are thousands of guys that prefer overweight guys. No... because for the most part a fat person can control that, or take steps to change that. We can't change our race, etc.
Salubrious Posts: 373	Jul 23, 2008 8:04 PM GMT Quote StripperRocco said sluggo_la saidOuch! This thread is really getting rough. Has it gotten to the point that since it's not PC to bash gays, races and religions we're aiming for the fat people? To answer your question, paerva, I'm typically not attracted to "fat" guys, but I'm not offended by them either. However, I believe that there's a lid for every pot, and there are thousands of guys that prefer overweight guys. No... because for the most part a fat person can control that, or take steps to change that. We can't change our race, etc. You can change your religion
sluggo_la Posts: 98	Jul 23, 2008 8:05 PM GMT Quote StripperRocco said sluggo_la saidOuch! This thread is really getting rough. Has it gotten to the point that since it's not PC to bash gays, races and religions we're aiming for the fat people? To answer your question, paerva, I'm typically not attracted to "fat" guys, but I'm not offended by them either. However, I believe that there's a lid for every pot, and there are thousands of guys that prefer overweight guys. No... because for the most part a fat person can control that, or take steps to change that. We can't change our race, etc. okay, perhaps not race, but people can change their religion, and a lot of these religious fanatics think we can change being gay. i just have a problem with anyone making sweeping generalizations about an entire group of people. I dated a professional body builder many years ago, and I thought he was the fuckin' laziest guy I'd ever met. Aside from working out, all he did was eat and sit on the couch the rest of the day. So for 4 or 5 hours a day he was actually did something.
gymguy1 Posts: 905	Jul 23, 2008 8:05 PM GMT Quote I like em' beefy. A little stomach is fine but there should be some muscle on other parts of your body.
HighVoltageGu... Posts: 1000	Jul 23, 2008 8:06 PM GMT Quote Generally I like men who are a little bigger than me (I'm a pretty small guy) but not HUGE!
muchmorethanm... Posts: 2408	Jul 23, 2008 8:14 PM GMT Quote As long as a guy doesn't have a lazy wimpy looking build that works. Some guys that are a bit stocky yet firm and solid can be sexy. Some men like to refer to themselves as bears, to me a "bear" is a football player that is big yet in shape and has some muscle. But a lot of gay men that like to refer to themselves as "bear or cub" are so sloppily and hugely obese. It's so gross to me.
StripperRocco Posts: 1905	Jul 23, 2008 8:16 PM GMT Quote sluggo_la said StripperRocco said sluggo_la saidOuch! This thread is really getting rough. Has it gotten to the point that since it's not PC to bash gays, races and religions we're aiming for the fat people? To answer your question, paerva, I'm typically not attracted to "fat" guys, but I'm not offended by them either. However, I believe that there's a lid for every pot, and there are thousands of guys that prefer overweight guys. No... because for the most part a fat person can control that, or take steps to change that. We can't change our race, etc. okay, perhaps not race, but people can change their religion, and a lot of these religious fanatics think we can change being gay. Well then i guess it's all about changing habits and mind sets then isn't it. Sorry but i'm going to be brutally and completely honest on this one. I used to be a fatty, and it wasnt until i changed my life and stepped into a ballet class and started eating right and being mindful of it that that changed. Do i find fat men attractive is the original question. No i dont and i presented my reasoning as to why. Plain and simple, in my mind, i equate fat with lazy. If that offends you or disturbs you, there is nothing i can do about that. I have many a fat friend, indeed my 2 best friends are fat, and i've shared my mind with them regarding their physical state, once, and only once. It is then up to them if they want to make life changes. Are THEY lazy? when it comes to eating and fitness yes, life in general, not really. Furthermore i teach in a gym and my class is filled pretty much with a lot of Sally Soccer-Moms who are... well... fat. Do i think they are lazy when they step into my class. The first week, yep, the second week, not so much, the third week... they are hooked and i look forward to seeing their transformation. Maybe I'm a goosecock for voicing my opinion and NOT caring what people think, but i'd rather be lonely out on this limb, than meekly stand by with my arms crossed looking at the ground while other people lived honestly in their thoughts and convictions.
USMmmm Posts: 198	Jul 23, 2008 8:22 PM GMT Quote Personally, I'm not a chubby chaser, but I have friends who like a "beefier" guy. It's good to know there is someone out there for everyone. I have a lot of chubby friends and they all bitch and moan about their (fat)condition whilst continuing to sit on their asses; eat lots of fries and fast food; drink lots of beer. I figure if I am disciplined enough to get myself into shape, then I deserve someone who has that same discipline and self-control.
sluggo_la Posts: 98	Jul 23, 2008 8:23 PM GMT Quote i'm glad you got that all off your chest, rocco, but to be quite honest, yours isn't the post with which i had the most trouble reading.
StripperRocco Posts: 1905	Jul 23, 2008 8:24 PM GMT Quote sluggo_la saidi'm glad you got that all off your chest, rocco, but to be quite honest, yours isn't the post with which i had the most trouble reading. Eh... i just wanted to make sure i clarified
sdn8 Posts: 362	Jul 23, 2008 8:26 PM GMT Quote come on guys. Great question for this site. When I was fat, I was disgusted with myself. I would have never expected anyone to find me attractive. Except for the weirdo's with some fetish, and rather be miserable by myself than someone's fetish. Simply put MOST people are fat because of lifestyle choices. It's really easy to get fat. It's hard to be in shape and keep that dedication. In regards to the question. I am attracted to what I aspire to become. I could/would never go back to that lifestyle. It's miserable. And this thread needed this:
ursamajor Posts: 1260	Jul 23, 2008 8:27 PM GMT Quote Chucky's back StripperRocco said sluggo_la saidOuch! This thread is really getting rough. Has it gotten to the point that since it's not PC to bash gays, races and religions we're aiming for the fat people? To answer your question, paerva, I'm typically not attracted to "fat" guys, but I'm not offended by them either. However, I believe that there's a lid for every pot, and there are thousands of guys that prefer overweight guys. No... because for the most part a fat person can control that, or take steps to change that. We can't change our race, etc.
MuslDrew Posts: 330	Jul 23, 2008 8:27 PM GMT Quote I like lean & tight. Like to see & feel the abs. And I like it when not much jiggles.
joescorpio197... Posts: 829	Jul 23, 2008 8:28 PM GMT Quote This thread is making me feel fat.
sdn8 Posts: 362	Jul 23, 2008 8:29 PM GMT Quote joescorpio1970 saidThis thread is making me feel fat.
joescorpio197... Posts: 829	Jul 23, 2008 8:39 PM GMT Quote damn bear!
Ghen Posts: 372	Jul 23, 2008 8:52 PM GMT Quote Yay for bashing fat people. I don't have a problem with them, some of my best friends are fat, , but I often get the feeling that being fat is getting more and more acceptable.
ursamajor Posts: 1260	Jul 23, 2008 9:11 PM GMT Quote Not every fat person is lazy and not every perfect body is energetic. That is just a dumb generalization so extended and abstract as to be utterly meaningless. What is breathtaking however, is the level of pettiness and nastiness. Why is that necessary? What does it mean? This all seems to cover some deep psychological wound that a lot of people must have experienced. Oh well, this is truly depressing. Terry
Salubrious Posts: 373	Jul 23, 2008 9:12 PM GMT Quote I think part of the problem with this discussion is that people have different perceptions of "fat". I know plenty of people who think fat is having over 10% body fat. To me, that's ridiculous. I suppose it's hard to talk about these things when people's standards are so different.
Jackal69 Posts: 589	Jul 23, 2008 9:12 PM GMT Quote Isn't it a bit unfair to put all the blame on the fat person's shoulders since from diet to public transportation, it really is a social issue. That said, as a former fatty it is to a large degree about the choices you make and being fat, like being hot, is something you work on. Though I'd like to be P.C. and say I'm an "equal opportunist", in truth I feel a pang of revulsion when I see someone morbidly obese...and while I'm empathetic, I always don't think it's cool, at all. (For the record, I have post-fatty dated one fine-ass big guy.) Seems like big folks are the norms these days, however, so maybe I'm the bizarre one.
sdn8 Posts: 362	Jul 23, 2008 9:14 PM GMT Quote exception to the rules...
jsttennis77 Posts: 722	Jul 23, 2008 10:35 PM GMT Quote physically no. I like lean guys with tone and form. Not so bulky. There are even some guys who might fall into the skinny zone that I find attractive physically. Just a matter of taste. No one told me to feel this way.
tonyp321 Posts: 204	Jul 23, 2008 11:00 PM GMT Quote Define fat and chubby. I count myself as a cub. My definition of fat or chub is 300lb+ or 30%+ and honestly depending on height is a turn off for me. My husband is a bear stocky frame 30lb heavier and 2 waist sizes higher then I am but I have a larger chest. Does he turn me on? absolutely with or without the belly he turns me on. Should he even start to pass the 40"w then its diet/boot camp for him. Bears are a huge turn on for me however if they hit chub status well then we have to talk. My thing is I see someone who is a chub as someone who doesnt care and I cant stand that. I view chubs as if you dont care for your own health or appearance why should I care about becoming your friend?
paradox Posts: 1512	Jul 23, 2008 11:04 PM GMT Quote Caslon5000 saiddefinitely not into fat...i wouldnt even find myself attractive Same here. I'm not all attracted to fat guys. And, at 15% body fat, I'm overly critical of my own body, even though that bit of padding is perfectly normal for a middle-aged man.
ruck_us Posts: 620	Jul 23, 2008 11:07 PM GMT Quote docmarvy saidBeyond being a taste issue, I think this is also a question of semantics. Like there's a point at which fat is unquestionably hugely fat. But then there's guys like me. No six-pack, but instead sporting a masculine man-paunch/belly. And StripperRocco is a little off-base, because I'm not lean, but I'm FAR from lazy. I bust my ass at the gym at least five days a week. Ride my bike, stairmaster 30-45 minutes at a stretch, lift hard. I get sweaty from exertion, not from wolfing down donuts. That said, I'm still "obese" by BMI standards. I'm endomorphic and while I can trim down, I'll never have a "swimmers build". And Caslon is certainly right, it's a pain in the ass to get weight off the middle (god knows I try), and he managed to do it without posting a pic of a lolcat. (j/k) I think it's better to draw as succinct a line as possible between stocky/beefy (unquestionably hot) and fat (the lazy kind that Stripper was talking about). Of course, for my taste, thick muscular is best. And thankfully my muscular guy likes my masculine paunch, which is officially my new term for my gut, because it sounds so much better. A-men, doc! I'm either thin and twinky or thick and muscular. I've yet to find that delicate balance where I'm both lean AND muscular. I'm a combination body type, but my mid-section is definitely endomorphic. I get tons of attention, especially in public, so I guess I can say that a bit of a paunch isn't a deal breaker for a lot of guys.
zdrew Posts: 1838	Jul 23, 2008 11:12 PM GMT Quote jsttennis77 saidphysically no. I like lean guys with tone and form. Not so bulky. There are even some guys who might fall into the skinny zone that I find attractive physically. Just a matter of taste. No one told me to feel this way. I'm so in agreement here. I'm actually a lot less picky about a little extra/less meat on another guy. If a guy I care about gains a bit of weight or loses some definition, it won't bug me. On the other hand, if I start to gain weight or lose definition, I'm all over myself with fiery condemnation and a renewed effort at the gym. I'm curious about how many other guys do the same thing. Are you more flexible in your preferences when it comes to other men than you are in yourself?
LittleDudeWit... Posts: 568	Jul 23, 2008 11:19 PM GMT Quote I agree with Z and jstennis. I like lean, toned and muscular. In fact, just lean and toned is perfectly fine. And yes, I'm more flexible in my estimation of other guys than of myself. . . that is, I go out of my way to maintain definition and keep from slipping, but I'm way less critical when I look at other guys. Like I never, ever think my ceps are big enough. . . but if I see a guy with decent arms, even if they look a couple inches smaller than mine, I think, 'Wow, he's got good ceps!'
CuriousJockAZ Posts: 1976	Jul 23, 2008 11:52 PM GMT Quote sluggo_la said However, I believe that there's a lid for every pot Excuse me, has anyone seen my lid???? I can't find my freakin' lid - anywhere!
sdn8 Posts: 362	Jul 23, 2008 11:58 PM GMT Quote In a pinch you can always use a plate
COJock1974 Posts: 231	Jul 24, 2008 12:08 AM GMT Quote tonyp321 saidDefine fat and chubby. A definition is as subjective as that of "lean." One man's fat is another's "stocky." One man's lean is another's "manorexic." Also gotta consider medical conditions, y'all. Good friend of mine, ate right, worked out like mad, got chubby. Very frustrating for the kid. Turns out he'd developed a thyroid problem. To each their own! If ya like a big guy, go for it. Ya like a skinny one, have at it. The world isn't the 8-crayon Crayola box ... we have the super-huge 128 (with the sharpener in the back) to choose from!
joarky123 Posts: 44	Jul 24, 2008 12:13 AM GMT Quote COJock1974 said tonyp321 saidDefine fat and chubby. To each their own! If ya like a big guy, go for it. Ya like a skinny one, have at it. The world isn't the 8-crayon Crayola box ... we have the super-huge 128 (with the sharpener in the back) to choose from! Could not have said it better myself. Well said.
RBY71 Posts: 2035	Jul 24, 2008 12:13 AM GMT Quote A bit chubby is okay. Heck, I fall into that category myself. When they are so big that you could slap their ass and ride the waves in, that is where I have to draw the line.
MunchingZombi... Posts: 1745	Jul 24, 2008 1:19 AM GMT Quote ncsucarjock88 saidI have a really hard time with fat people. More than 10# over normal, and I dont' find you attractive. With 30% of the population obese and 60% overweight normal is a whole lot larger than it used to be. I find I am attracted to a bewildering array of people. I dated a chub, I dated guys with 0.001% body fat, and I have dated everyone in between. Attraction is strange and it doesn't stay the same for long.
DCEric Posts: 243	Jul 24, 2008 1:29 AM GMT Quote For some reason I now have Queen's Flat Bottom Girls now going in my head. Thank you. ".. you make the rocking world go round..."
ActiveAndFit Posts: 2452	Jul 24, 2008 1:53 AM GMT Quote DCEric saidFor some reason I now have Queen's Flat Bottom Girls now going in my head. I love that song!
ActiveAndFit Posts: 2452	Jul 24, 2008 2:00 AM GMT Quote paerva saidDo you find attractive a fat man? or almost a boy with a little belly? like a bear, cub or chubby? Or are you looking for a slim/athlethic/muscular man? Fat is relative. I will say that at least one of my boyfriends was "Husky". Sweetest boyfriend I ever had. I think I would only be concerned if he was so overweight to be a big health risk or not able to be as active as I am. A nice face, and a good heart will get to me more than anything else. So I would say slim/athlethic/muscular man vs bear, cub or chubby have not been the determining factor with the the guys I date.
Barricade Posts: 240	Jul 24, 2008 2:17 AM GMT Quote You say "fat" on here and some guys basically equate that with "worthless". I do find some chubby/stocky guys attractive. For example Kevin James or Seth Rogen I find cute. There's a difference in a little belly and having to ride the power-carts at the grocery stores.
KentuckyTuss Posts: 141	Jul 24, 2008 2:30 AM GMT Quote I like guys of all shapes and sizes. I preffer someone who's thin.. but actually NOT made of muscle. And guys who have a little extra cushion are very cute in my book. Dating a guy who's HUGE is out of the question. I'm not only turned off physically, but their habits make me angry, a lot of the times. Even having friends who are morbidly obese is pretty much out of the question. Then again.. most guys who are totally ripped, don't get my seal of hawtness either. I'm not totally sure why.. but it probably has something to do with an inferiority complex.
bgcat57 Posts: 864	Jul 24, 2008 2:33 AM GMT Quote I think that since I've been attracted to muscle on a man long before I was aware of fat. I know that one of my goals in working out is to look like the kind of guy I'd like to be with (genetics notwithstanding). Contrary to what most of the comments have been like, most of the people who I've known that are overweight (not including the morbidly obese) have often accomplished just as much as the thin. I didn't find them lazier, only that they ate more. The thing I like about this site is that a lot of the guys here are active outside the gym. I've known a few guys exert themselves almost exclusively at the gym. I want to be able to do more and my workout helps me accomplish that but it is not the end in itself. I have enormous respect for those men who have transformed themselves whether through weightloss or muscular weightgain (which in my experience is more difficult).
Aquanerd Posts: 200	Jul 24, 2008 3:35 AM GMT Quote Maybe I'm a goosecock for voicing my opinion and NOT caring what people think, but i'd rather be lonely out on this limb, than meekly stand by with my arms crossed looking at the ground while other people lived honestly in their thoughts and convictions.[/quote] Hey Rocco, two questions. Is there room on that limb? What's a "goosecock?" You, my fiend have every right to answer the original question to this thread, and more important you have the balls to stand up to the various challenges to your honest. Bravo! I agree with Rocco, maybe a bit more delicately put though. I think that guys that are fat are, in some ways, "self-hater" just like smokers. And that's not attractive. [Start new thread here!] Having been a 6' 350 lbs. fat slob, I know of what I speak. Much emotional baggage started my weight gain. A year ago I decided to lose the weight and get health before I got any older. A few weeks ago I became "overweight" on the BMI scale, dropping below 220 lbs. It takes work and the hardest part was getting started, so if your reading this and are overweight or worse "obese" sorry for being blunt but "put the cheeseburger down, and go for a walk." If I can do it, anyone can. And to complete my answer after that aside... I do not in general find fat or overweight guys attractive. (i.e., I don't get a chubby for chubby guys.) But, my man has put on about 30 pounds of emotional baggage over the past year and a half, and I still find him completely hot, because he is who he is.
TD22 Posts: 862	Jul 24, 2008 4:13 AM GMT Quote Stocky and Hunky I can deal with and a little belly is ok! But fat obese "No way Jose" as most of them are Lazy as was commented and smell also! Gland problems is sad but most of them the parents are to blame in the beginning for there Hamburger Chip and cola diets! But they can do something about it like we all can and have done? I see so many tourist;s now here walking around shirtless which I have never done and Huge stomach's Tattoos and not old either? Fecking disgusting!!!
RyanReBoRn Posts: 533	Jul 24, 2008 4:38 AM GMT Quote When I find a guy attractive, no amount of "huskiness" is going to make me feel otherwise. I like to think I'd only be attracted to guys as muscular as myself but, in reality, most of the guys I find way attractive fall into the husky and muscular category... So, I guess I would, if by "a little belly" you also mean husky. >_
redheadguy Posts: 2065	Jul 24, 2008 4:51 AM GMT Quote I wonder how many of you are permanently single?
badmikeyt Posts: 36	Jul 24, 2008 5:25 AM GMT Quote [quote]And to complete my answer after that aside... I do not in general find fat or overweight guys attractive. (i.e., I don't get a chubby for chubby guys.) But, my man has put on about 30 pounds of emotional baggage over the past year and a half, and I still find him completely hot, because he is who he is.[/quote] There main issue here is that it's easy to disparage or 'hate' people we don't know. You still find him attractive because you know who he is on the inside, and care less about what he is on the outside. Look, this topic is rather pointless to discuss on a gay fitness site unless you want to see people pour out a whole bunch of ugliness. To say that all fat people are lazy is as overly general as it is to say that all muscle boys are paralyzingly narcissistic and stupid. In reality, some fat people are lazy and some muscle boys are naricisstic and stupid. Not all in either camp. The troubling thing here is that we justify our ridicule of fat people with the lame-ass argument that many straight people have long used about gays - that because we feel (not know) that their weight is totally within their control, as many straight people STILL believe our sexuality is, that they are therefore to blame and demean. Reading this board is like watching Crash - you don't want to believe that anyone would be that hateful or superficial but then they prove it at the first opportunity. Glass half full, it shows that we (as gay men) really AREN'T that different from straight people - we make just as many stupid and meaningless judgments about entire groups of people based on ignorance or hate of what we fear or loathe within ourselves.
redheadguy Posts: 2065	Jul 24, 2008 5:27 AM GMT Quote Hate is hate whatever pretty package it comes in.
COJock1974 Posts: 231	Jul 24, 2008 5:40 AM GMT Quote redheadguy saidHate is hate whatever pretty package it comes in. *CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP Awesome! Well said.
Hidden/Deleted Member	Jul 24, 2008 8:43 AM GMT Quote As a former super fatty (at my worst I was over 330 pounds) I still managed to find guys for a casual fling. I'd say my standards were as low as my self esteem back then - more often than not i just felt like a piece of meat. But I just needed someone to want me. I'd say I'm more attracted to guys about my size... bit of belly fat. I've found guys with a super cut physique, while extremely nice to look at have often had the worst attitudes. Personality and smile will get me every time
Hidden/Deleted Member	Jul 24, 2008 8:56 AM GMT Quote In my case, I believe that beggars cannot be choosy. So any bloke who can tie and wrap me up to carry with him home and fuck me all night long is fine with me. Other than my eccentricities in my sex environment, I'm not that complicated. At all.
Hidden/Deleted Member	Jul 24, 2008 9:37 AM GMT Quote I think the reason a lot of gay guys are so body conscious is because of insecurity and acceptance. they put so much of their self worth into how other people perceive their physical appearance that the rest seems to suffer. They become obsessive about their food and they HAVE to be in the gym 5-7 days a week or they start the whole, "Damn, i'm getting fat!" routine. It gets old...QUICK. One guy I went out with wouldn't eat sushi because of the white rice, or FRUIT because of the fructose! It became a chore to figure out where we could eat. Pretty soon, even an eight pack didn't make a difference. Here's the catch: Yeah, you'll look great early on, but we can't fight time or gravity and pretty soon, you won't be the hot young thing anymore. A few guys I know can't seem to manage growing older and have a hard time dealing with the fact that they aren't getting all the attention they once did. All of them are on anti depressants! Exercise, eat healthy, be proud of being in good shape, but for god's sake, don't let a couple pounds put you on prozak! Now, obesity is a completely different topic...
StripperRocco Posts: 1905	Jul 24, 2008 5:17 PM GMT Quote Aquanerd saidMaybe I'm a goosecock for voicing my opinion and NOT caring what people think, but i'd rather be lonely out on this limb, than meekly stand by with my arms crossed looking at the ground while other people lived honestly in their thoughts and convictions. Hey Rocco, two questions. Is there room on that limb? What's a "goosecock?" You, my fiend have every right to answer the original question to this thread, and more important you have the balls to stand up to the various challenges to your honest. Bravo! I agree with Rocco, maybe a bit more delicately put though. I think that guys that are fat are, in some ways, "self-hater" just like smokers. And that's not attractive. [Start new thread here!] Having been a 6' 350 lbs. fat slob, I know of what I speak. Much emotional baggage started my weight gain. A year ago I decided to lose the weight and get health before I got any older. A few weeks ago I became "overweight" on the BMI scale, dropping below 220 lbs. It takes work and the hardest part was getting started, so if your reading this and are overweight or worse "obese" sorry for being blunt but "put the cheeseburger down, and go for a walk." If I can do it, anyone can. And to complete my answer after that aside... I do not in general find fat or overweight guys attractive. (i.e., I don't get a chubby for chubby guys.) But, my man has put on about 30 pounds of emotional baggage over the past year and a half, and I still find him completely hot, because he is who he is.[/quote] 1. Yes 2. It's a term i picked up because i got sick of saying douche all the time.
KentuckyTuss Posts: 141	Jul 25, 2008 1:23 AM GMT Quote There's a photo on my Profile of me, and another guy on the beach. It's not the most flattering photo of him.. but we dated for two years. He was overweight, and I still found him very attractive. And that had at least something to do with the fact that he's got handsdown one of the best personalities I've ever seen. idk.. I think it's about more than just what they weigh.. but I can understand why an EXTREMELY FAT dude wouldn't be given a chance. Being fat -can- get to a point where it starts to be gross..
Timberoo Posts: 2497	Jul 25, 2008 1:33 AM GMT Quote Fat people are lazy, just like alcoholics and addicts.
John43620 Posts: 1813	Jul 25, 2008 3:17 AM GMT Quote I didn't date fat guys, until I met my current BF and with him the fat doesn't matter. His personality set off my love chemicals. He's very well endowed too and that's a plus. I guess I'm not as shallow as I thought. Or used to be.
ActiveAndFit Posts: 2452	Jul 25, 2008 3:19 AM GMT Quote John43620 said He's very well endowed too and that's a plus. I guess I'm not as shallow as I thought. lol, you know john, some might see that as a contradictory statement
Sean_85 Posts: 694	Jul 25, 2008 3:33 AM GMT Quote Wow.. Some of you guys are fu*ken rude. I understand some people are lazy and have no excuse to be that way. However a lot of people struggle with weight issues. Need to have surgery and take medications to fix the problem even while eating healthy and still sometimes it don't work. Regardless no one really wants to be fat and its not easy for everyone to get to the gym or to afford healthy foods.
looknrnd Posts: 280	Jul 25, 2008 3:47 AM GMT Quote Sean_85 saidWow.. Some of you guys are fu*ken rude. I understand some people are lazy and have no excuse to be that way. However a lot of people struggle with weight issues. Need to have surgery and take medications to fix the problem even while eating healthy and still sometimes it don't work. Regardless no one really wants to be fat and its not easy for everyone to get to the gym or to afford healthy foods. Yes, it's awful some of the things people have posted here. However, as blunt as they are, there is some truth to all of it. People who let their weight get so bad that it affects their health long term tend to be the type of person that just gives up on life. I know I had when I got to my highest weight -290lbs (now 170), and I know a lot of people that are the same way. It is an addiction in that you have to make the choice yourself to do what's best for YOU and to stop feeding the unhealthy habits because of the negative events in your life. Nothing someone says can sway you and it's a personal decision that someone has to commit to for their own wellbeing. With that said, I can assure you that half the things said here would lead a person like I was to go right for the brownie batter. Also...vanity is just as ugly and unhealthy as fat!
ActiveAndFit Posts: 2452	Jul 25, 2008 3:53 AM GMT Quote sundayswim said"Fat people are lazy, just like alcoholics and addicts" said Tiberoo. I cant tell if you're serious or intentionally being offensive to make a point about some of the messages here. I hope its the latter. I think he is being facetious about a similar statement made my former majority leader trent lott who said the same thing about homosexuals
Maverick75 Posts: 207	Jul 25, 2008 5:06 AM GMT Quote StripperRocco said sluggo_la saidOuch! This thread is really getting rough. Has it gotten to the point that since it's not PC to bash gays, races and religions we're aiming for the fat people? To answer your question, paerva, I'm typically not attracted to "fat" guys, but I'm not offended by them either. However, I believe that there's a lid for every pot, and there are thousands of guys that prefer overweight guys. No... because for the most part a fat person can control that, or take steps to change that. We can't change our race, etc. Not everyone is fat because they eat too much, or sit on their ass all day. Some people actually have medical conditions that contribute to their being overweight. And you wouldn't know that just by looking at them. Sometimes the reasons are like race, that you can't change them.
Timberoo Posts: 2497	Jul 25, 2008 11:27 AM GMT Quote sundayswim said"Fat people are lazy, just like alcoholics and addicts" said Tiberoo. I cant tell if you're serious or intentionally being offensive to make a point about some of the messages here. I hope its the latter. The latter. An alcoholic or addict has the option of not using the substance anymore. A person with food issues doesn't. No one, at least where I work, brings in shots in the morning to share with everyone, or puts out a few lines of coke to celebrate a birthday.
Soufian Posts: 260	Jul 25, 2008 11:39 AM GMT Quote I would defenitly not write someone off because they're fat, but there are exceptions...he can't be huge with layers and he has to be working on it ... here comes the cheesy line ; 'it's the inside that matters' if there's any hidden chubby guys here reading this, we love you ! dont be scared, come out of the dark!
Caslon7000 Posts: 7446	Jul 25, 2008 4:22 PM GMT Quote Soufian saidcome out of the dark!
ncsucarjock88 Posts: 33	Jul 25, 2008 5:07 PM GMT Quote this is an interesting read... And I think I want to clarify and modify my original response. I do find guys with a slight belly attractive...always have...dunno why...but no more so attractive than a guy with a 6-pack. Once a person gets solidly into overweight - which in my book - is about 20# over what would be considered normal for his size, I start to reconsider. At 40#, there's no way I'm going to consider dating him. Part of it is like others have stated...I got up in pounds a couple years ago, and it had to leave. It has, and though I don't have a 6 pack, I'm pretty close, and there's no one that's going to complain about me walking around shirtless. They may not stare...but at least I'm not embarrassed. Some of my good friends are overweight. They have some great personalities, and are good people. None of them seem to have any problems getting dates, or having sex (unless they're abstaining by choice). The original question was asked if you were attracted to larger guys. By and large, my answer is no. I'm in shape, I expect you to be. Just as I expect you to be drug free and be able to support yourself - that is - if you're interested in dating me. Being friends with guys who are overweight is fine...but please, don't expect me to lie to you and tell you you're skinny when you ask me "am I fat?". As far as my second comment about fat people...that I feel sorry for those that I see in public - male or female - that are obese, I truly am. My mother is obese, as is my sister. They have been for years, and it's caused - and is causing - issues. I fail to understand why they don't change their ways. I really don't understand people who are more than 50# overweight...yes...there are some medical conditions that can contribute. But people...walk out the door...and just look at how many people are hugely overweight... and look at the overweight kids... It strikes fear in my heart - one - they'll have issues with self-esteem, two - it's horribly unhealthy, and three - it's going to be so much more difficult to retrain those habits. And it's costing America billions. Don't think you're paying for it?? Do you pay taxes? Do you pay health insurance?? My guess is most of you can answer yes to those three questions... And you're paying for it in ER visits due to cardiac disease, diabetes, hypertension, back backs, knee surgeries, and the list goes on and on... I don't have an answer. I won't pretend that I do. But I'm horribly concerned about the health and well-being of America, and the world, as obesity is on the rise in other first-world countries as well...perhaps due to the influx of McDonalds, which seems to be on every corner across the globe. okay...carry on...
AngloAm Posts: 16	Jul 25, 2008 6:48 PM GMT Quote I am overweight, I am large, some would even call me gross, unpleasant. I don't smell. I do smell roses, lavender, and newly cut grass. I used to be lazy. I used to be clinically depressed. Hard to say which was the bigger factor. I wouldn't find myself attractive at all, and I generally don't find fat guys sexy. I am glad my partner of nine years does find me sexy. I was so scared when I met him at the airport for the first time (he moved here from Australia to be with me). I also have a very low thyroid hormone level. That keeps my metabolism slow. It's being treated now, but I had it for twenty years before I was diagnosed. I weighed over four hundred and fifty pounds. These aren't excuses; nobody had a gun to my head and told me to overeat. But as has been mentioned, I have to battle my addiction every meal time. How much success would an alcoholic have getting sober if he had to have a small drink three or more times a day? About a year ago, I started working with a personal trainer. The first session, I could walk six minutes without getting light headed and having to sit down. I walked with a cane. I'm sure I elicited the reactions I see here - pity and disgust, in equal parts. I know I did, which made it that much harder to go to the gym. (How many people would voluntarily go someplace where they'll be pitied by people who they also disgust?) But I did go once the weather got too cold to walk around my neighborhood. Thank goodness nobody retched, or was rude, or vented the opinions that I've seen here. That would have probably sent me scurrying out again. In fact, everyone there was either as friendly and supportive or indifferent as I could hope. Perhaps it's because it's a military gym where I work; people may have a different outlook. I'll have to hold on to that and try to forget some of the opinions I've seen here when I go work out this afternoon. I'm up to being able to walk sixty minutes on the treadmill, which I do four or five times a week. I still eat badly, though, so I've let it be hard to get my weight off. I know I'm fitter than I was, but I've only lost about seventy pounds. Changing addictive habits is not as easy as some seem to think it. I am getting better. I no longer blow my weight watchers points out of the water most weeks. Being as I'm still fat, I accept that I'm still disgusting and lazy to some people, I'm sure, and they have their right to their opinions. (I wonder if they realize that my walking 60 minutes is real work, especially given my weight, and that I'd do more strength work if only I could fit on the machines, so I do what I can at home on my bench and Swiss ball. I've increased my poundage steadily.) It's a good thing I don't want to date anyone on this site! Perhaps my partner is only with me because he "couldnt get anyone better." (Silly me, I thought every human was as good as every other human.) I don't care, he loves me and I love him and in October we're going to California to get married. If he gains weight, I'd couldn't send him off to a boot camp; I'd miss him too much. I'm glad he hasn't done that to me either. I don't really care if anyone wants to date me or not and I know I don't have the right to be universally loved or lusted for. I don't find everyone attractive either, not fat men, not very skinny ones. I realize obesity is a tremendous societal problem, that costs our country billions of dollars and hundreds of thousands of avoidable deaths a year. But just as weight doesn't go on in a month or even a year, it doesn't come off that fast either. So next time you see somebody huge it's a private matter if your stomach turns, or your lips curl, or your dick shrinks in horror, but don't assume he's a lazy smelly pig, he may be on exactly the same road you are. When you think of it, we're all on the same road in life, aren't we? Love.
coachjw Posts: 70	Jul 25, 2008 7:12 PM GMT Quote If I tried to describe my "type" of man, I highly doubt "fat men" would meet the criteria. That said, I have been with men who are fat and not my type. Part of that is because I used to think my type of man would never be interested in me. The larger men I've been with have all approached me. All of the larger men have been really nice guys. A couple of them, who I met online, did not represent themselves honestly through pictures. When they showed up, I was sure nothing would happen since they weren't honest about themselves, using old pics and want not, but a few times, I've been pleasantly surprised. None of the men were super-large; one was, but we didn't end up doing anything, which was disappointing for him. I was happy to be friends with him and had no intention of leading him to believe there would be more than friendship. When I was 22, I fell for the first heavy guy much harder than I expected I would. He treated me well and seemed to be into me, but couldn't commit to a relationship, which I found odd. Do these experiences make me a chubby chaser??! (I'm thinking not... the point of my sharing this disjointed rant was... heck, I don't even know.) I wouldn't pursue a fat man; I can't say that I've never been with one. I like RJ because I get to window shop for my ideal man!
MikePhil Posts: 2377	Jul 26, 2008 8:57 PM GMT Quote You know that word that I hate "EDUCATED" How many of you would regard yourselves "educated" ?
cockystrut Posts: 8	Jul 26, 2008 9:14 PM GMT Quote Barricade said You say "fat" on here and some guys basically equate that with "worthless". I do find some chubby/stocky guys attractive. For example Kevin James or Seth Rogen I find cute. There's a difference in a little belly and having to ride the power-carts at the grocery stores. DUde! I HEART Kevin James and Seth Rogan. I think those guy are DEFINITELY hot.
BabiGayPimp Posts: 165	Jul 26, 2008 9:16 PM GMT Quote Looking at some of these responses I would just like to point out that fat does not always equal lazy and lean does not always equal industrious. There could be other factors involved. During my leanest periods I've been lazy, greedy and unhealthy as hell. Just had some high octane metabolism going on. Eventually I did put on weight due to overeating and inefficient workouts, and had to rectify that, but you can't judge everyone's character by appearance alone.
SurrealLife Posts: 3700	Jul 26, 2008 9:23 PM GMT Quote No, I have always found slim guys really hot, even more so then the musclebound guys. Swimmers have the ideal build as far as I am concerned.
phill Posts: 92	Jul 27, 2008 6:31 PM GMT Quote i use to be aroun 275lbs and now im 159lbs. So for me it is kind of weird but i find slightly overweight people to be attractive. Perhaps its psychological and i feel a connection with others who have gone through similar things as me. A decent amount of the men i have dated for the long term has had 10-25lbs of extra fat on them.
chief1967 Posts: 12	Jul 27, 2008 6:43 PM GMT Quote good going phil.... anyway it is the person not the body that counts... a body can be changed but a person's soul/mind/outlook/and overall personality cant be. so you must look at the whole package.
jcdutchy Posts: 1	Jul 27, 2008 9:06 PM GMT Quote Most definitly, men are hot. This attitude is what divides us within our community and still faced with discrimination from the one thing we all have in common being "gay." My personal perference is someone who is comfortable with himself, having dated many different size men has been great. I love food from different cultures and am not a picky eater. I wouldn't want food to be an issue between us besides I love to cook and experiment with different recipes from around the world. And don't your small imagination go off, I am ripped and have continued to stay in shape even for my 46 birthday.
Salubrious Posts: 373	Jul 27, 2008 9:09 PM GMT Quote MikePhil saidYou know that word that I hate "EDUCATED" How many of you would regard yourselves "educated" ? What would you prefer? I use educated because there is a big difference of being educated and being smart. One does not necessarily mean the other.
GQjock Posts: 3177	Jul 27, 2008 9:17 PM GMT Quote This isn't the place where someone being fat is going to get a lot of sympathy and/or support I know that fat people get a lot of abuse and there are some men who genuinely like fat men I on the otherhand look at being overweight in the same way I look at someone who does not care or think about his appearance and if I had a BF who gained a significant amount of weight while we were dating I'd take it as an offense
Pattison Posts: 1769	Jul 27, 2008 9:17 PM GMT Quote From being a weed up until Ones early teens, and then one filled out, chest, legs, butt. Always had big calves. So in my teens one became beefy/stocky. It was nice in Ones early 20s to have a chest, 6 pack, and great legs, and never been to a gym. But Know One is a middle aged fag. One still has the chest, tight butt, and great calves. Yet the 6t pack is gone. How One could so easily be fat now days. I am still a beefy kind of guy. Am I sexually attracted to fat guys? No! Don't mind if someone is fat. So long as they don't sit next to me on an aeroplane. I already take enough room, and I'm not fat.
UStriathlete Posts: 206	Jul 27, 2008 9:22 PM GMT Quote NO, i don't find them attractive. Just like I don't find men who are anorexic, smoke or drink heavily or depressive, attractive. there is treatment, just how bad do you want to get better? for those who wrote in about getting help with their obesity etc, GOOD F'ing JOB!!! some where dealt a really bad hand. just play it to the best of your ability. that's all anyone can do. "Any thing is Possible" the WTC Ironman Triathlon qoute
atxclimber Posts: 474	Jul 27, 2008 9:31 PM GMT Quote Where's GuiltyGear weighing (HA GET IT!?!?) in on this one? I know we've got some guys who appreciate a larger frame on here. Myself, I can never predict what I'll find attractive. I don't think fat people are lazy, full of self-hatred, or whatever. I mean, shit, the reason I'm in shape is not because I am full of love and self-respect (although I hope that's true to some extent) but really more because I'm a bit compulsive and a control freak about some things. Plus, being fit lets me do activities I enjoy more effectively. I've definitely seen some really heavy guys that got me super turned on. I've also seen some ultra-lean ripped guys that push my buttons too. The only body type I almost never find physically attractive is the ultra-lean with no muscle mass. I think I find it so viscerally upsetting (it just looks so unhealthy to me, frail and fragile, which I don't equate with eroticism) that it just kills any erotic impulse I have. All that said, I don't know that I'd pursue a long-term relationship with a guy who was substantially overweight if it limited the things we could do together or was impeding him from achieving goals or dreams or whatever. But at the same time, I wouldn't seriously date a really ripped guy if the urge to workout came from some crazy neurosis that made him a high-maintenance mess. So I think it's not really black and white with any generalization anyway.
MikePhil Posts: 2377	Jul 27, 2008 11:28 PM GMT Quote Salubrious said MikePhil saidYou know that word that I hate "EDUCATED" How many of you would regard yourselves "educated" ? What would you prefer? I use educated because there is a big difference of being educated and being smart. One does not necessarily mean the other. You are right, and it is much better to be smart than "educated" My point is, a lot of you say that over weight people are lazy, and while I think myself most probably are lazy in one way or another, as pointed out even if it is just being lazy in not eating properly. But the fact is, not all over weight people are lazy. I was over weight, and I can promise you, I was never lazy. I worked 12/14 hour days, six days a week, and my diet was not that bad either. I read a lot of nutrition stuff, and decided to cut sugar from my diet, and the weight just fell off. Now, I learned something here on RJ, from OW. There was a thread about OCD, and I mentioned that I was on mediation for it. OW told me that anyone he had ever seen on it gained weight. I then started to think, and I think at the same time I cut the sugar, I had stopped the medication. It is very possible the medication was the reason I was over weight, or a combination of the medication and sugar. I know that some medications cause people to gain weight. I know that some medical conditions cause people to gain weight. Intolerances to certain food can cause people to gain weight. BTW, I found out that I have an intolerance to white sugar. I'm surprised by some here that say over weight people are lazy. I thought they were smarter than that Mike
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