I don't know how to ask this guy if he's gay or not..

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 23, 2012 3:38 AM GMT
    So, I just recently started talking to this guy I've known for a long time. We went to grade school together actually, but we were never really friends and never really talked very much until about a week ago. I struck up a conversation with him on facebook and we've been chatting there quite a bit in the last week. Actually, the other day we chatted until the sun came up (literally)..

    I've been subtly flirting with him here and there and he seems receptive. I've had major suspicions about him being gay for a while now, my friends think so too. But he's very secretive about his personal life and is not one that you would generally expect to be gay, based on first impressions.

    So, I'm still not sure how to ask him. We chat like good friends already but still I've only REALLY gotten to know him for about a week now and I kinda feel out of place asking him a personal question like that especially because he seems so guarded about it and we're not THAT close yet...

    I dunno, what do you guys think?
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    May 23, 2012 3:40 AM GMT
    Tell him you're going out to a bar. When he asks which one, name a gay bar.

    Alternatively, just ask him if he's gay.
  • Trauts

    Posts: 1012

    May 23, 2012 3:56 AM GMT
    Repeat after me, just say to him "Are... You... Gay..."

    Does he know you're gay? If he doesn't, maybe you can trying telling him you're gay. Hopefully, this would lower his guard and come out to you if he's gay. Or, you can talk about hot guys and ask him about his opinions. icon_smile.gif
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    May 23, 2012 4:19 AM GMT
    If you feel he's guarded than it's for the best you don't ask him through internet..
    Ask him instead if he'd like to grab a drink or something like that.. After you get to know eachother a little better ask him in person..

    Ofcourse it's a waste of time if he happens to say no.. But who knows you'll add an extra friend in your life..

    It does seem a bit suspicious because I have never chatted untill sunrise with any of my straight (male) friends + what would be the reason he got his gaurd up..

    If you really want to ask this through internet then I suggest start by outing yourself to him.. And most of the time you'll get your answer in his next message icon_smile.gif goodluck, really hope it works out!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 23, 2012 6:52 AM GMT
    Poke him with a needle. If rainbows fly out of the hole, he's gay.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 23, 2012 7:02 AM GMT
    If he doesn't know you're gay, tell him. If he does and he hasn't told you he's gay, then he's probably not or at least he's not comfortable with it. But if you're dying to know just ask him and be unapologetic about it.
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    May 23, 2012 7:37 AM GMT
    Just ask him, "Are you into guys by any chance?"
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    May 23, 2012 7:43 AM GMT
    I kind of like the idea of keeping it off the internet. If he is a private person that may really be a good thing.

    Treat him like a person. Figure the gay thing out as it comes. If things go on for a while, like a few weeks, you could just say, " You know, I have always wondered if you were more into guys. Are you?"
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    May 23, 2012 7:46 AM GMT
    the next time you go to his place, excuse yourself to use the restroom and come out with your dick pulled through your fly. see if he notices. if he does, he's gay.
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    May 23, 2012 7:53 AM GMT
    Just be forward but not too forward with him.
    Something like, "Not to assume anything, but are you gay?" If he's worth a shit he won't get upset for you asking.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 23, 2012 7:56 AM GMT
    Go drinking with him sometime and watch him start to open up. Then flirt with him like crazy and get in there.
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    May 24, 2012 4:26 PM GMT
    Thanks for the tips guys icon_razz.gif

    Would it be so bad if I just asked him online? I see how he'd possibly be more likely to open up in an actual real life conversation but I can also see how it could get awkward, quick..
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    May 24, 2012 4:38 PM GMT
    goldenblue saidThanks for the tips guys icon_razz.gif

    Would it be so bad if I just asked him online? I see how he'd possibly be more likely to open up in an actual real life conversation but I can also see how it could get awkward, quick..


    Does he know you are gay? If not, offer the info. If he is and is comfortable with it, he may tell you. If he doesn't offer anything about his orientation, assume he is straight and leave it at that.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 24, 2012 4:47 PM GMT
    goldenblue saidThanks for the tips guys icon_razz.gif

    Would it be so bad if I just asked him online? I see how he'd possibly be more likely to open up in an actual real life conversation but I can also see how it could get awkward, quick..


    You could find out by asking him icon_smile.gif