The joy of being alone

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    May 24, 2012 12:51 AM GMT
    Does having someone really bring more satisfaction than being alone ?

    Like right now, I'm sitting alone listening to the doors and I'm feeling so many things, and so many thoughts are running through my head. Sometimes I think it would be wonderful to have someone to share these thoughts and feelings with but then , I think, what if you can't ever really express all these things.

    After all, no one understands you better than yourself ( obviously haha ), What if trying to share your emotions only brings about frustration and disappointed hopes ?

    What if we're all just individuals imprisoned in our own ideas and ideals ? It means it wouldn't take long before company, of any sort, becomes obsolete. Even if you build a connection with a person, you evolve in the meantime and you may find yourself looking for yet another change because you have changed.

    Sorry if what I say is a bit confusing , It's not always easy to put your thoughts into words. Anyone to discuss ?icon_smile.gif
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    May 24, 2012 2:28 AM GMT
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    May 24, 2012 2:46 AM GMT
    Trollileo saidMost everything I do is alone. As much as I appreciate the company of others, most others don't appreciate mine.

    There's also something to be said for (oh my god I sound like my roommate...) for having your own room entirely. I'm moving out, because I just need my own space.

    I'm also mortified of being by myself. When it happens my thoughts really start to fuck with me.

    Summer of 2011, I actually spent 14 days without seeing another human being in person since none of my friends were returning my calls. In that time I began to really beat myself up about life in general.

    So yeah, in the past year or so I've been really afraid of loneliness.


    I've had similar situations. I grew up in a family of 6, always shared a room with at least one brother, always had roommates in college, and lived with roommates several years after college. When the time came for me to live by myself (the two roommates I was living with were getting married), I was kind of terrified. Even though I'm introverted, I'd never really lived by myself or alone. The idea frightened me.

    Now, I can't imagine living with a roommate or a group of people again. Hell, I don't even like sharing hotel rooms when I travel for races with my team mates. I enjoy the freedom and flexibility (aka walking around in whatever I want, or lack of). And I have no one to blame but myself if my place gets out of hand. icon_smile.gif

    In general, I do most things alone, but do enjoy the company of others. I do enjoy hanging out with friends, but don't do it as often ever since I started training again. Some may see me as a loner, but I generally like being social with people I'm comfortable with. I enjoy solitude at times, but am usually the first one to RSVP for happy hour or a birthday party.
  • Webster666

    Posts: 9217

    May 24, 2012 2:47 AM GMT
    Oh, the peace of living alone.
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    May 24, 2012 4:32 AM GMT
    Saad22 saidDoes having someone really bring more satisfaction than being alone ?
    No. I'm dating two guys but still identify as single since I live by myself...and prefer to keep it that way.
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    May 24, 2012 4:36 AM GMT
    I'm at the point that I'd rather be one-on-one than with a group of people. Mostly because there's some social pecking order that I'm missing or something. Basically I'm the one who is interrupted most or is ignored.
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    May 24, 2012 4:38 AM GMT
    Moments of solitude are nice, and my partner & I allow for personal times that the other doesn't violate. But to be always alone without him? No, that wouldn't be joy, that would be death.
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    May 24, 2012 4:39 AM GMT
    Trollileo said
    paulflexes said
    Saad22 saidDoes having someone really bring more satisfaction than being alone ?
    No. I'm dating two guys but still identify as single since I live by myself...and prefer to keep it that way.
    You are such a slut.
    But a sexually satisfied slut, which beats being a sexually deprived prude. icon_razz.gif
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    May 24, 2012 4:42 AM GMT
    I grew up an only child, so I'm used to doing a lot of things by myself. I live alone and wouldn't have it any other way right now because I'm a control freak. I've always clashed with past roommates.

    Even then, there are a lot of things I simply prefer to do alone because I enjoy the atmosphere alone or it's more convenient. I don't like having to depend on other people to be happy or entertained. I do a lot of things alone that many people usually don't do alone like go to movies, eat at a restaurant, etc.
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    May 24, 2012 4:44 AM GMT
    i very much enjoy it. :-)

    but i'm biased, aren't i?
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    May 24, 2012 4:51 AM GMT
    dancerjack saidi very much enjoy it. :-)

    but i'm biased, aren't i?
    Everyone is biased. Only the cool kids admit it. icon_wink.gif
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    May 24, 2012 4:52 AM GMT
    daviddoublebay said
    paulflexes said
    Trollileo said
    paulflexes said
    Saad22 saidDoes having someone really bring more satisfaction than being alone ?
    No. I'm dating two guys but still identify as single since I live by myself...and prefer to keep it that way.
    You are such a slut.
    But a sexually satisfied slut, which beats being a sexually deprived prude. icon_razz.gif


    Definitely beats being now a "sexually deprived (former) slut". icon_sad.gif
    Slut at heart?
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    May 24, 2012 4:52 AM GMT
    I actually liked the first post of the youtube video.
    I sometimes don't like being alone. but I? find it very true, that if you are so comfortable being alone, you have found some realm of inner peace with yourself.

    I am soon to be living by myself with only one friend in my life. So be it, she is my world. Everyone keeps telling me that since I'm Sagittarius we seek the company of a companion, but seek the same enjoyment of being single and free. hence there lies little balance between the two.

    Being alone isn't so bad, I grew up my whole life in Maine in a town of 1,000 people. I spend most of my time alone, and found to enjoy my time with myself.
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    May 24, 2012 5:10 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Saad22 saidDoes having someone really bring more satisfaction than being alone ?
    No. I'm dating two guys but still identify as single since I live by myself...and prefer to keep it that way.


    So any couple, gay or straight, not living together isn't really a couple cuz they're not living together? really?
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    May 24, 2012 5:18 AM GMT
    wonofakind said
    paulflexes said
    Saad22 saidDoes having someone really bring more satisfaction than being alone ?
    No. I'm dating two guys but still identify as single since I live by myself...and prefer to keep it that way.


    So any couple, gay or straight, not living together isn't really a couple cuz they're not living together? really?
    Every relationship is unique. Mine works for me.
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    May 24, 2012 5:35 AM GMT
    I think someone just met Mary Jane.
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    May 24, 2012 5:36 AM GMT
    SkittleGangsta saidI think someone just met Mary Jane.
    She's such a sweet and loving lady. icon_biggrin.gif
  • suedeheadscot

    Posts: 1130

    May 24, 2012 7:56 AM GMT
    Meh - grass is always greener. I am curently looking for a fella, though I do need my own space. Its nice to be able to do things myself sometimes (such as fart in bed and not worry about someone else).
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    May 24, 2012 8:17 AM GMT
    daviddoublebay said
    paulflexes said
    Trollileo said
    paulflexes said
    Saad22 saidDoes having someone really bring more satisfaction than being alone ?
    No. I'm dating two guys but still identify as single since I live by myself...and prefer to keep it that way.
    You are such a slut.
    But a sexually satisfied slut, which beats being a sexually deprived prude. icon_razz.gif


    Definitely beats being now a "sexually deprived (former) slut". icon_sad.gif


    well you know where to come for thaticon_lol.gif
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    May 24, 2012 9:07 AM GMT
    When I worked out west (rural Aus) I'd come into Bris every now and again and mates would ask "don't you get bored/lonely out there by yourself?"
    I live by myself yes... But I've got a dog how can you ever feel alone?
    Alone is a state of mind (sometimes)
  • ja89

    Posts: 789

    May 24, 2012 9:14 AM GMT
    I lived alone for a year and loved every single second of it. At first I had nightmares in the apartment but I got over those in a week. (part of them had to do with my a/c not working at the time.) It sucks that i had to move out because of lack of transportation and not enough money since my rent went up by $400 per month. icon_sad.gif now i'm living with 2 guys and a dog. I hate how insecure/closed minded these guys are. They complain when I walk around the house without a t-shirt. So I definitely miss my freedom of being able to walk around my apartment butt ass naked even in the kitchen haha.

    long story short, I LOVE living alone.
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    May 24, 2012 9:21 AM GMT
    Great topic that i discuss alot amongst my closest friends.

    New York Times had an article about the freedoms and perils (indeed) of living alone...

    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/23/garden/the-freedom-and-perils-of-living-alone.html?_r=1&pagewanted=all


    However on being alone.. and decidedly single.. is where i finally found my groove as an adult.. and who i am... to the point i do often think about what if i did have someone else there.. How CRAZY would they think i am? For the last 7 years, i've eaten alone, traveled alone, lived for the most part alone.. and alone I at least know who i am enough to know how to avoid, now, involving someone else in matters which totally are about me.. or know when it's there problem. Living alone allows to know yourself.. however the pitfalls are that you allow yourself to do whatever you fucking please.

    Like sleep and awake at odd hours.. cook after jacking off... sing to yourself.. use your fucking dryer as an extra dresser... shit like that. I'm so guilty of talking to myself at times. "Thinking aloud" my family would call it, like some soap character.

    If you observed some single living people alone.. you'd completely think they were insane or heathens. I will totally use an dirty knife from 3 days previous to scoop peanut butter out of a jar while nude, watching television while typing with my feet. No one is around... fuck it.

    I loathe that men who are decidedly single are often instantly assumed to be sluts/ possibly promiscuous.
  • DanOmatic

    Posts: 1155

    May 24, 2012 11:04 AM GMT
    I've lived alone now for several years and am definitely comfortable in my "alone time". Even though I've got tons of great friends and am perceived as an extroverted, social person, I still very much enjoy my time with myself and my own thoughts.

    Lately, though, I've been feeling uncharacteristically restless when I'm by myself, and some of those things that I enjoyed doing by myself are no longer as satisfying for some reason. Maybe it's just a phase, or maybe a signal that I'm ready to have a significant other in my life.
  • rnch

    Posts: 11525

    May 24, 2012 1:05 PM GMT
    One of the many personality traits that my current guy and I share is "needing our space" and not being offended by the other's need for solitary time..

    We can come together for an extended evening or even an occassional weekend.....but have NO problem not seeing the other for 2, 3, 4 days at a time.

    Moving in together/sharing a house is NOT an option for the future for us.
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    May 24, 2012 1:25 PM GMT
    I am used to being alone. So - now on days when I'm not - I sort of enjoy the company, but then I also look forward to getting back to my house and my solitude. I'm weird like that.