FORUMS > Mental Health Forum Rules

Social Anxiety or Introverted or both?

• Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
  QUOTE May 24, 2012 6:11 AM GMT

  I hate posting this knowing you can see my face (but there's something bout this forum in particular), I avoid viewing profiles because they can see that I viewed them, I don't respond to almost everybody who ever messages me, and I have a grindr notto talk to anyone but to just see who's interested...Moving on to real life situations, I was a loser in HS and had very few friends and barely spoke to anyone in any of my classes. Skipped class all the time, smoked weed all the time, and almost failed out of HS if it wasn't for some special program. Middle shool was just as bad.
  Im 20 and don't have a plan in life nor do I go to school. I work part-time at dead end job as a dietary aide in the hood. I don't talk much to anyone in there unless they decide to talk to me. I have moved around the east coast 11 times with a single mother and 2 siblings, I have a horrible excuse of a father (haven't seen him in over 5 years) and I honestly can't think of one achievement a parent would be proud of. (sports, school, arts, etc related). I also have a short fuse if that's somehow related to anything specific, But I've shouted down and cursed out random people over petty things most people would ignore - despite that bizarre tendency, I'm told that I'm very charming and lovable.
  
  All in all I don't have any friends where I currently live, and I don't know what I'd have to do to make some. I just never felt comfortable anywhere and have always rebelled in big ways. I'm scared for my future, I hate the thought of school but I want to be able get out I my mothers house and live on my own. (it's expensive around here and I don't want a roommate for obvious reasons) and I want to have a significant other but no one has the patience for me to open up.
  What is wrong with me? Am I just an introvert, or have I developed a social anxiety because of my unstable upbringing?
  Sorry for the wallotext

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• Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
  QUOTE May 24, 2012 6:16 AM GMT

  I'll be the first to admit that making gay friends under 21 is extremely difficult. Gay bars have pretty much been the primary meeting place for gays since gays starting being open enough to go to gay bars. There aren't many places to go for the under 21 crowd unless you wanna go to a boring church function where you have to pretend you're the innocent little angel that you're really not.

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  QUOTE May 24, 2012 6:47 AM GMT

  paulflexes saidI'll be the first to admit that making gay friends under 21 is extremely difficult. Gay bars have pretty much been the primary meeting place for gays since gays starting being open enough to go to gay bars. There aren't many places to go for the under 21 crowd unless you wanna go to a boring church function where you have to pretend you're the innocent little angel that you're really not.

  
  
  I donate monopoly money to the church!
  There's a successful LGBT center here in Jersey City, but I just never really knew how to go about randomly walking in there. That's my whole problem, I wouldn't feel comfortable walking into a bar/club alone either. Things may change but right now I avoid but crave social situations. It's weird.

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  QUOTE May 24, 2012 1:43 PM GMT

  Many people in this forum addressed this by joining a local gym or similar org-n and making connections through that. You just sound a bit depressed and need to push yourself to ge the feel good hormones going. Then build on that.

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• Aristoshark Posts: 23833
  QUOTE May 24, 2012 1:54 PM GMT

  If you really want to do better in life, you're going to have to face some realities.
  
  1. Go back to school. No getting around it, or you will be a dietary aide (or worse) for life.
  
  2. Face your fears and go to the LGBT center. You're afraid, but here's the thing: you hate the way things are going now. So you have to alter something that you're doing. You need friends to hang out with and take you out of yourself. Take a deep breath---take several----and then go to the center and see about joining a group of some kind. Sports group, book group, therapy group, music group, doesn't matter. Join something. Maybe you'll even develop a new interest. You're young, it could happen.
  
  3. You do need to get away from living with your family. But you have to have a plan. Get educated, get a better job, earn some money, establish some credit, get an apartment.
  
  I wish there were an easier path for you, but there isn't. If you want these things, you have to do all this. if you don't really want it, then you were just on here to vent.
  
  That's okay too.

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• Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
  QUOTE May 24, 2012 2:14 PM GMT

  Sounds like you are just cruising thru life doing the bare minimum instead of seizing key opportunities to advance. You have resources available to improve your situation in life but you are not taking advantage of them.
  
  Start with an education. You can never go wrong getting an education.
  
  Step out of the box and visit the LGBT resource center in your neighborhood. They have many programs, resources, and people to network with that can help you improve your situation.
  
  Doesnt sound like personality disorder but more like lack of motivation to progress beyond your current status in life.
  
  Life is hard. But you must take the bull by the horns if you want to thrive. Otherwise u will perpetually just struggle to get by.

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• Posted by a hidden member.Log in to view his profile
  QUOTE May 26, 2012 6:09 PM GMT

  If you feel that you're having social anxiety and it's really impacting your life, I would strongly consider visiting your doctor. There are medications that can help with anxiety that even your family doctor can prescribe (like Zoloft, for instance). I don't know if you have health insurance or not, but if you do, I'd also recommend looking into seeing if it covers counseling, which can really help, too. And if you don't have insurance, the good thing about medications like Zoloft is that many of them come in very cheap generic forms (like 8.99 at Rite-Aid for a month's supply). But only your doctor can evaluate your need for medications, so I'd really suggest making a visit if you're really struggling. Hope things start to get better for you soon, man.

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• bhp91126 Posts: 3836
  QUOTE Jun 01, 2012 2:57 AM GMT

  Maybe you can get in touch with the coordinator and get some info about the program so you don't walk in there unprepared
  http://hudsonpride.org/programs-services/pride-connections/lgbt-youth-young-adults/

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