How did your straight guy friends treat you differently when you came out?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 2:31 AM GMT
    Curious, as it will be happening one day, probably sooner rather than later...granted I'd like a boyfriend when I do but that's not likely.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 2:36 AM GMT
    The girls stopped trying to bed me.
    The guys started trying to bed me.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 2:39 AM GMT
    Most took it fine, which it will most likely be the same for you. You do have to be prepared, however, there is a good chance it will not be 100% acceptance, but at least you will know who your real friends are. With straight friends I also did not come out by just making an "I'm gay" announcement out of the blue. I did it when it was more natural in a conversation like when the subject of dating or settling down with someone came up. With new people that come into my life, that is still how it works.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 3:06 AM GMT
    mizzouguy10 saidEvery straight guy is totally different. That's the truth.

    One took it really weirdly, but he's a virgin and is probably a closet case I think..

    Some douchy guys didn't like it but they weren't my friends.

    Some are cooler than others about it.

    In short: if you have cool friends, they'll be cool. If you have shitty friends, you should try and make new ones.


    Hmm one of my friends knows and we just don't see each other that much anymore, not sure if it's because I'm gay or because our lives are in different places..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 3:08 AM GMT
    mizzouguy10 said
    NewNDiscreet said
    mizzouguy10 saidEvery straight guy is totally different. That's the truth.

    One took it really weirdly, but he's a virgin and is probably a closet case I think..

    Some douchy guys didn't like it but they weren't my friends.

    Some are cooler than others about it.

    In short: if you have cool friends, they'll be cool. If you have shitty friends, you should try and make new ones.


    Hmm one of my friend's knows and we just don't see each other that much anymore, not sure if it's because I'm gay or because our lives are in different places..


    Well it could be totally either. You just have to look at the context of the situation and guess or try to talk to him. I doubt he'll admit anything either way though.


    Yeah that would be a highly awkward conversation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 3:09 AM GMT
    Mine just started to be hostile and dick-wads. They also avoided me :
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 3:10 AM GMT
    Almost all of my close friends are straight males and they all accepted it 100%. I can't imagine a true friend acting any differently, as it doesn't change anything.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 3:12 AM GMT
    Scruffypup saidAlmost all of my close friends are straight males and they all accepted it 100%. I can't imagine a true friend acting any differently, as it doesn't change anything.


    Thats great.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 3:13 AM GMT
    They would all be like "GURL, We always suspected you are a big flaming Queen!" BAHAHAHAHA just kidding. That didn't happen. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 3:16 AM GMT
    globe_trotter saidThey would all be like "GURL, We always suspected you are a big flaming Queen!" BAHAHAHAHA just kidding. That didn't happen. icon_lol.gif


    LOL
  • Will123

    Posts: 99

    May 25, 2012 4:44 AM GMT
    Mine all took it fine. I kinda hinted at it being big news like.. "I hope this doesn't change our friendship or anything... but.... I like dick. haha.

    I was worried because all of my friends back then were straight and I thought I would lose them, but they actually kinda like that I'm gay. Some of them assume I know a lot of hot girls.. but most of them focus on asking me how hot they're looking or should "that" guy attractive enough to be with "that girl."

    Good luck, man.
  • D300

    Posts: 86

    May 25, 2012 4:55 AM GMT
    All my straight guy friends didn't care at all. But I agree, it all depends on the person. A true friend is going to be your friend no matter what.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 4:56 AM GMT
    I came from a pretty conservative environment, and I was a little worried about how they would take it, but it all turned out well. They started joking about it the first few months ( a sign of neing comfortable with it/ me), but now its kind of old news and is only brought up every now and then. I have only had one bad experience with it, which ended with me beating the shit out of a guy, but in all I have received nothing support.

    It's kind of funny how every now and then alleged "straight guys" will grab your ass in a bar or hit on you if they have a little too much to drink.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 5:01 AM GMT
    Mine didn't care at all. Some even gave me shit wanting to know if I was a top or a bottom. I actually found it kinda funny how curious straight guys can be about gay sex without wanting to have it themselves...they want to know shit works haha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 5:05 AM GMT
    ^ haha, truth.

    mine would kind of beat around the bush trying to figure out how things worked. it was funny how interested they were without wanting to actually mess around with dudes, temselves.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 5:07 AM GMT
    im in the process of coming out aswell haha, ive told about 10 friends, 6 of them straight guys and the other 4 were girls. my mates didnt give a f*ck at all haha now theyre just good to have convos with me about who im seeing dis dat. even the guys dont care about how detailed i get when we talk about sex and so forth haha. everyones that comfortable about it to a point where we're all good to pass gay jokes for a good laugh

    the fact that they didnt care even though half of them are muslim and extremely masc makes it even easier to come out to others haha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 5:09 AM GMT
    When I first read this topic, it brought back a little bit of pain/scar in my past when I first came out to some of my closet straight friends. One of my best guy friend (Lets called him T) basically told me that "you're not gay, it's a phase, don't go down that path or you'll end up getting aids and other shit from these other homos". At the time, I was really shocked and so hurt that he said that! We stopped talking for like 4-5 months and most of my other so called straight friends I have, they started to avoid me, too - they stopped returning my calls...etc. This was like back in 2004. Then I stopped talking to them for good a year later. It was an awkward transition. But you know, because of this, I grew stronger, I got out there, made new gay friends, date around and had a couple of serious boyfriends. I have good gay and straight friends now that I wouldn't trade for the world.

    Fast forward many years later, I reconnected with another straight HS friend and found out from him it was *T who spread the Rumors to everyone at my former school after I came out so everyone can hate me. Because I sorta disappeared from that group and had a gay life of my own. They all feel really bad now and they mentioned that it was a shame that I wasn't at T's wedding. I couldn't really care less. My feeling is - just because I am gay you can't assume certain things about me, friends come and go in life for real. And the ironic thing is the people whom I am not close to before I came out became my best friend through the process. I think I learned a valuable lesson, you can not take friendship for granted (male or females, straight or gay). I think it was WORTH it in the end that I risked everything including my friendship on the line to not live a lie. icon_cool.gif So I guess to make my point short, some people are just homophobic and Friends do drift apart.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 5:26 AM GMT
    When I came out most of my straight guy friends were completely fine with it. Actually they would get kind of curious and ask all kinds of questions. They would ask so many questions about gay sec, you would think they wanted to try it themself lol...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 5:47 AM GMT
    The friends I have came out to have been really supportive other than one. He freaked and we really haven't talked since but I think in time he'll come around.

    The first of my "Straight" friends, who is actually my best friend, that I came out to came out to me right after. I was totally shocked. We are even better friends now and no, sadly we haven't hooked up. haha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 5:48 AM GMT
    Hahaha, when I came out to one of them, he said, "Well, I can see how giving a blowjob might be enjoyable, in a mechanical sense..." Still not totally sure what he meant by that.

    Another one said, "You know, after you told me, I checked out some gay porn... not for me. Lot of dick. It featured dick pretty heavily."

    So yeah, they've actually been really cool and curious about it. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 6:29 AM GMT
    I moved a lot and have friends all over the east coast, so most never really found out unless they lurked my FB hard enough. I'd imagine my closest friends would be fine with it tho.
    As for the one's that do know, they're just more distant than ever. I need new ones lol.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 6:32 AM GMT
    I haven't said to my friends due to my confusion whether I'm bi or not, but as many guys in here said, a real good friend would accept you no matter what u are, If they avoid you, then they never were your friends, if I do that maybe they would get confused but I know they would understand, I'd be so sad if they start to avoid me
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 10:08 AM GMT
    No problems and I'd dump anyone who did. Sorry, it's a non-starter.

    When people lose straight friends over it, I wonder if the homophobic friends might be closeted themselves - consciously or not. I think we tend to attract people who are similar to us so it would make sense that closeted guys would attract other closeted guys as friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 4:16 PM GMT
    A little
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    May 25, 2012 4:24 PM GMT
    Str8 male friends had their masculinity threatened. Could out lift, run, play sports better than any of them and the fact i was gay was too much for them.