How come gay guys don't ever check me out?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2012 8:34 PM GMT
    I know that sounds like...a weird topic title, but like..when I go to gay clubs and see a bunch of hot guys, I can't keep my eyes off of everything there is to see around me! It's fun! But I very rarely ever get a guy to even look at me...I'm not claiming to be a model, but I do think I'm relatively good looking, so is it just that maybe other people aren't as obvious when checking people out (I'm very obvious) or what is it? I'm not expecting everyone to look me up and down, but an occasional glance or something would be nice haha. It sometimes even feels like the best looking guys are going out of their way NOT to look at anyone..The only time I get checked out (that I notice) is by older guys...

  • TheBizMan

    Posts: 4091

    May 26, 2012 8:36 PM GMT
    Nope it's not a weird topic, it's actually been done like 5000 times. Usually has to do with you being too shy and not making a move, instead you want all the guys come to you... yadda yaddda. I'll let someone else answer.
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    May 26, 2012 8:38 PM GMT
    I mean I did try dancing behind one guy and that ended up being successful, but I always felt like maybe eye contact was necessary before making a first move..because it shows interest. If nobody's even looking at you, how can you think to make the first movie?
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    May 26, 2012 9:36 PM GMT
    I usually go to clubs and bars with a group of friends that I stick by and when I do notice someone I like, I do the little stares until they notice me then I turn away lol. I guess I'm not the only one afraid to make the first move, you'd think with all these guys, someone would have the balls to do so but nooope lol
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    May 26, 2012 9:40 PM GMT
    Jay1922 saidI usually go to clubs and bars with a group of friends that I stick by and when I do notice someone I like, I do the little stares until they notice me then I turn away lol. I guess I'm not the only one afraid to make the first move, you'd think with all these guys, someone would have the balls to do so but nooope lol

    Well with you having your friends around you, guys would be intimidated to approach you.
    As I've stated before, guys tend to approach other guys that look lonely.
    I dunno the feeling cuz I'm always with my friends and I dance like there's no tomorrow! icon_confused.gif
    Maybe I'll have my chance when the time is right... Blahblahblah. icon_rolleyes.gif
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    May 26, 2012 10:20 PM GMT
    yourname2000 saidSays the guy with "private photos".

    Jesus, ya can't even make this shit up sometimes. icon_sad.gif

    I'll wager you're as inconspicuous in person as you are here. Time to listen to Katy's "Firework" song again....really listen this time. icon_rolleyes.gif


    I mean, I don't recall making this thread to have my looks judged. I gain nothing from lying about thinking I'm considered "good looking" so I really don't understand what your point is.
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    May 26, 2012 10:21 PM GMT
    Jay1922 saidI usually go to clubs and bars with a group of friends that I stick by and when I do notice someone I like, I do the little stares until they notice me then I turn away lol. I guess I'm not the only one afraid to make the first move, you'd think with all these guys, someone would have the balls to do so but nooope lol


    But that's the thing...it seems like ALMOST EVERY GUY THERE is with a clique of like 4-5 guys.
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    May 26, 2012 10:22 PM GMT
    because you are socially retarded.
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    May 26, 2012 10:43 PM GMT
    alright,
    Get a cute hair cut. Something trendy, dont forget to frost the tips.

    Get a brazillian butt lift and get a tan.
    After that, Get abdominal implants or something. Act like a bitch, but dress in cute blouses.

    You'll be popular in no time!

    u just gotta work it, girrrlfrraaaaand
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2012 10:45 PM GMT
    Import saidalright,
    Get a cute hair cut. Something trendy, dont forget to frost the tips.

    Get a brazillian butt lift and get a tan.
    After that, Get abdominal implants or something. Act like a bitch, but dress in cute blouses.

    You'll be popular in no time!

    u just gotta work it, girrrlfrraaaaand


    Lol, how much would that set me back?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2012 12:52 AM GMT
    Find yourself a sugar daddy then.
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    May 27, 2012 12:53 AM GMT
    TheBizMan saidNope it's not a weird topic, it's actually been done like 5000 times. Usually has to do with you being too shy and not making a move, instead you want all the guys come to you... yadda yaddda. I'll let someone else answer.





    More like 500,000 times.
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    May 27, 2012 2:44 AM GMT
    dexter1231 said
    Jay1922 saidI usually go to clubs and bars with a group of friends that I stick by and when I do notice someone I like, I do the little stares until they notice me then I turn away lol. I guess I'm not the only one afraid to make the first move, you'd think with all these guys, someone would have the balls to do so but nooope lol


    But that's the thing...it seems like ALMOST EVERY GUY THERE is with a clique of like 4-5 guys.


    hahaha someone between all those guys someone its noticing you BELIEVE ME!
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    May 27, 2012 3:10 AM GMT
    dexter1231 saidI know that sounds like...a weird topic title, but like..when I go to gay clubs and see a bunch of hot guys, I can't keep my eyes off of everything there is to see around me! It's fun! But I very rarely ever get a guy to even look at me...I'm not claiming to be a model, but I do think I'm relatively good looking, so is it just that maybe other people aren't as obvious when checking people out (I'm very obvious) or what is it? I'm not expecting everyone to look me up and down, but an occasional glance or something would be nice haha. It sometimes even feels like the best looking guys are going out of their way NOT to look at anyone..The only time I get checked out (that I notice) is by older guys...



    Considering your only 20, You dont have much of a choice in a club except by older guys. Unless you mean guys in 30s-50s etc. Yea, im 49.. And i still dont have a problem attracting guys close to your age.. I think your attractive..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2012 3:19 AM GMT
    Most of us are used to checking guys out while remaining inconspicuous.....icon_cool.gif
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    May 27, 2012 3:19 AM GMT
    yourname2000 saidSays the guy with "private photos".

    Jesus, ya can't even make this shit up sometimes. icon_sad.gif

    I'll wager you're as inconspicuous in person as you are here. Time to listen to Katy's "Firework" song again....really listen this time. icon_rolleyes.gif

    i love that song, especially the cover by boyce avenue. lol you sound a lil upset today, or am i just over analyzing your current posts...
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    May 27, 2012 3:24 AM GMT
    yourname2000 said
    dexter1231 said
    yourname2000 saidSays the guy with "private photos".

    Jesus, ya can't even make this shit up sometimes. icon_sad.gif

    I'll wager you're as inconspicuous in person as you are here. Time to listen to Katy's "Firework" song again....really listen this time. icon_rolleyes.gif


    I mean, I don't recall making this thread to have my looks judged. I gain nothing from lying about thinking I'm considered "good looking" so I really don't understand what your point is.

    The point is BE PROUD of who you are.....radiate it. Make people wonder "who's that guy?" Don't skulk behind a pole at the bar or hidden photos and then wonder why people don't look at you. They're not looking at you because when you do that, you're TELLING them: "don't look at me."

    This is marketing. So market yourself. You're not bad looking, and regardless, being interesting and someone people want to talk to/be around has very little to do with looks.

    When I meet someone, I assume they are the ultimate authority on themselves. If they bleed "oh, I'm nothing special"...."I'm not really worth any of your attention" then I believe them 100% --I assume they know what they're talking about and treat them the way their words/deeds/actions say they want to be treated.

    So get out on the dance floor. Smile. Say hello to strangers. Stare at someone and wink when they notice. Let any negative vibe just roll off your back like rain off a duck....those people are obviously retarded for not recognizing the fabulousness of you. Show people you're worth getting to know.....make it so they'd feel like they'd be losing out if they missed the opportunity to talk to you (and reward them with interesting conversation, a warm smile, and your mutual interest in them when they do.)

    It's not rocket science. But NO ONE was born knowing this shit...you'll have to learn it (and practice it) like everyone else.


    Very true and to the OP, I understand exactly how you feel---and how I react to it:

    To many other guys, I'm "too" something. Either too old, too not in shape, too plain looking, too this, too that. Im virtually invisible, so it's a rare (but happy) moment when someone does check me out!

    I am who I am. Can't change my looks, but working on getting in better shape. I smile and wink, flirt a little to see who is paying attention, remain well-read, stay (somewhat) current on popular culture and make every attempt to enjoy my life and (new) career. I say hello to guys all the time and if they don't want to say hello back or chat with me, it's their loss.

    I don't give up and neither should you!
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    May 27, 2012 3:40 AM GMT
    Chances are they are checking you out and being pretty cagey about it. I have never been in a bar without looking everyone over, have you?

    I think the answer might be for you to learn to be more outgoing. If you are the one to nod or say hi, you will get more responses than by being shy. If you see somebody there that you have spoken to before, say hi again. Sooner or later you will be enough of a regular that people are comfortable with you. Once they get to know you, they will make moves.
  • nefficles

    Posts: 511

    May 27, 2012 3:56 AM GMT
    not to be the Debbie downer, but the guys that you are checking out MIGHT be the "hot" ones that you can't take your eyes off, but they are probably the superficial and egotistical bunch too. honest truth, you don't want to meet people at clubs.
  • araphael

    Posts: 1148

    May 27, 2012 5:08 AM GMT
    [quote][cite]dexter1231 said[/cite]I know that sounds like...a weird topic title, but like..when I go to gay clubs and see a bunch of hot guys, I can't keep my eyes off of everything there is to see around me! It's fun! But I very rarely ever get a guy to even look at me...I'm not claiming to be a model, but I do think I'm relatively good looking, so is it just that maybe other people aren't as obvious when checking people out (I'm very obvious) or what is it? I'm not expecting everyone to look me up and down, but an occasional glance or something would be nice haha. It sometimes even feels like the best looking guys are going out of their way NOT to look at anyone..The only time I get checked out (that I notice) is by older guys...

    [/quote

    Gay guys are more complicated, by choice, than girls dude. Just look at some of the responses you've received here in this thread. Instead of straight forward responses like this is what's happening to you or this is what you should do, you get emotional answers like "there's something wrong with you." It's just the nature of a lot of gay guys dude. Remember, gay guys are dealing with a lot of their own stuff and often can't be direct in expressing their thoughts, feelings, and desires. But they can't just be nice and straight forward and say they like you. It's jacked up, I know, but it is what it is dude. But don't get frustrated bro. There are actually some emotionally mature gay guys out there, they are just usually rare or hard to come across is all. That's probably why the older gay guys hit on you because they are emotionally mature and can directly express their feelings if they like you. I would guess. But I could be wrong of course.
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    May 27, 2012 7:24 PM GMT
    Ahh. Thanks for all the good advice guys icon_biggrin.gif
    I'll try making the first move more often now, and not worry too much about possible rejection since that's just something that happens in life lol
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    May 27, 2012 7:29 PM GMT
    Unlike the OP I know exactly why gay men don't check me out.

    It's because I look like a lesbian ! icon_lol.gif

    Oh well what can you do............icon_biggrin.gif
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    May 27, 2012 7:37 PM GMT
    Dexter you're a very good looking guy. I would definitely be checking you out.
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    May 27, 2012 7:40 PM GMT
    jlancaster89 saidDexter you're a very good looking guy. I would definitely be checking you out.

    Aw, thanks icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2012 7:44 PM GMT
    Shut up, you bitch!!!
    icon_mad.gif