Told my grandmother that I'm gay

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    May 26, 2012 8:56 PM GMT
    So my grandmother is from Iran and has been visiting with my sperm donor aka dad for the past three months. I found out today she was leaving tomorrow and despite the fact I told myself I cut my persian side of my family, i felt i owe it to her to suck up my pride and see her. I haven't seen the woman for two years and i don't know if i'll see her again because of her health. The woman pretty much raised me growing up. Huge language barrier between the two of us, but we still could communicate with one another.

    So i visited, gave my dad the cold shoulder and whatever and I just spent time with my grandmother. Towards the end of the visit today, i looked up the word 'homosexual' in persian and showed it to her. I told her this was me. She held her heart and looked at me funny so i was thinking 'great...just as i expected' and right as i was about to leave she hugged me tight and said she loved me. She said she always has and always will love me. I hugged her back, said I loved her back, and we said our goodbyes.

    On the drive back I was smiling and tearing up at the same time. I didn't think in a million years that a woman born and bred in the middle east would ever accept me. It gave me hope that there is still hope for gay people to be accepted everywhere one day. It will take a long time, but i believe it will happen.

    I haven't told my friends yet but I wanted to tell you guys first. I wanted to tell you all first because i met some beautiful people on here and this site has helped me a lot since my time on here.

    Thanks for reading icon_smile.gif

    -Alexander
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    May 26, 2012 9:19 PM GMT
    The first paragraph confuses the hell out of me.
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    May 26, 2012 9:23 PM GMT


    awww, how touching ^o^

  • Import

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    May 26, 2012 10:49 PM GMT
    Caslon19000 saidThe first paragraph confuses the hell out of me.

    It's not that complicated, bro.

    OP is Persian. He does not get a long or really speak with his father. However, the OP's Granbdmother is currently visiting OP's father from Persia, aka Iran.
    Despite OP promising to stop communicating with his father's side of the family, he sucked up his pride and decided to visit his grandmother anyway, because OP did not know if grandmother is going to make it much longer due to her shit health.

    OP comes out to grandmother. Grandmother accepts OP for what he is. OP is pleasantly surprised, because OP assumed Grandmother would treat him just like his father did, due to the fact she was born and bred in typically conservative middle-east. OP is now emotional, yet happy.


    Hope that helps!
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    May 26, 2012 11:43 PM GMT
    I'm very happy for you. That's a wonderful story and memory you will have after she's gone.
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    May 27, 2012 3:10 AM GMT
    I'm so happy for you! Coming out can be a big step. I'm glad it went well and you were able to tell each other how much you care for one another. I've come to realize over the past year how much I owe my own family for being there for me.
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    May 27, 2012 3:13 AM GMT
    excellent. very excellent... carry on. xo
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    May 27, 2012 3:13 AM GMT
    Thanks for sharing this. Being raised by my grandma, this gives me hope when I tell her.
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    May 27, 2012 3:22 AM GMT
    i was raised essentially by my mom and by my gramma. they are more like debbie from queer as folk - they almost overwhelm and embarrass me with their pride. it's really astonishing. i hope all of you can be embarrassed by your family's pride in you. it's one of the most empowering feelings in the world.
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    May 27, 2012 3:50 AM GMT
    Grandmothers kick ass
  • Midas426

    Posts: 965

    May 27, 2012 3:53 AM GMT
    I'm really glad things went well with your grandmother.
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    May 27, 2012 4:02 AM GMT
    i can see how hard it must have been only because middle easterners are very one sided when it comes to topics such as homosexuality, especially someone of her age and being born and raised in Iran (assuming she didnt migrate). Im so glad it turned out the way it did. Im middle eastern and this gives me hope when I do decide to tell my parents. thank you for sharing icon_smile.gif
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    May 27, 2012 4:10 AM GMT
    Good reading your story about how well it went coming out to your grandmother, Alexander. She raised you and loves you - and is obviously pleased with how well you turned out.

    My grandparents raised me too. When I told them my news, they were fine with it. Thankfully they knew some gay people who were bright and full of integrity. That made it easy for them to be cool with my preference for men over women. The grandparents might have been a bit sad that there aren't going to be any little blond grandchildren running around, but they were too nice to say it. As long as I was going to work and study hard, and live a good life - - my grandparents were just fine with my sexuality. They were ultra conservative, formal, serious people...........but were great just the same.
  • offshore

    Posts: 1294

    May 27, 2012 4:15 AM GMT
    OP - MAKE some time and go visit that amazing woman.
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    May 27, 2012 4:28 AM GMT
    ;) great
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    May 27, 2012 4:40 AM GMT
    That's awesome. A year ago, I almost came out to my grandfather while he was comatose on his deathbed, gaunt and thin and unconscious. However, a few moments after my mom and dad and grandmother left the room, I stood debating about it and decided against it because I didn't want to see him flatline with my own eyes, since knowing my luck it would have happened. I wish I did though. So more props to you for being true to yourself and coming out to your grandmother. icon_smile.gif
  • DanielXie

    Posts: 18

    May 27, 2012 4:49 AM GMT
    thanks for share
    diferent culture diferent family ,my family are not that open - minded ,coming out could kill them , i don't know what im supposed to do in future yet.honestly, i am thinking maybe one day there is a girl make feel in love .and it turn out i am a bisexual ,then i can live with her.maybe this is the only chance to keep my family from being hurted........................
  • Pontifex

    Posts: 1882

    May 27, 2012 5:04 AM GMT
    That is a great story Alex. People who love you can surprise you by what they accept. She spent a good part of her life making sure you were happy and taken care of. It sounds like it was a good idea to give her the chance to accept you. I've been guilty of not telling people I was gay because I didn't think they were capable of accepting it and was surprised at the positive reaction. Now I'd rather give someone the chance than make assumptions. You can't really think for someone else.

    DanielXie saidthanks for share
    diferent culture diferent family ,my family are not that open - minded ,coming out could kill them , i don't know what im supposed to do in future yet.honestly, i am thinking maybe one day there is a girl make feel in love .and it turn out i am a bisexual ,then i can live with her.maybe this is the only chance to keep my family from being hurted........................


    I think you need to sort yourself out first. You can't wish your way out of being gay. There are a lot of guys who try to force things, live a miserable life for years and regret a good portion of their lives until they finally accept themselves years later. Don't decide to live your life as something you aren't. You will only end up living a shadow of the life you could.
  • Ironman4U

    Posts: 738

    May 27, 2012 5:10 AM GMT
    Awesome news. Congrats to you for having the courage to share it with your grandmother and kudos to her for being a woman to put love before cultural pressures and prejudices.
  • DanielXie

    Posts: 18

    May 27, 2012 9:12 AM GMT
    Pontifex saidThat is a great story Alex. People who love you can surprise you by what they accept. She spent a good part of her life making sure you were happy and taken care of. It sounds like it was a good idea to give her the chance to accept you. I've been guilty of not telling people I was gay because I didn't think they were capable of accepting it and was surprised at the positive reaction. Now I'd rather give someone the chance than make assumptions. You can't really think for someone else.

    DanielXie saidthanks for share
    diferent culture diferent family ,my family are not that open - minded ,coming out could kill them , i don't know what im supposed to do in future yet.honestly, i am thinking maybe one day there is a girl make feel in love .and it turn out i am a bisexual ,then i can live with her.maybe this is the only chance to keep my family from being hurted........................


    I think you need to sort yourself out first. You can't wish your way out of being gay. There are a lot of guys who try to force things, live a miserable life for years and regret a good portion of their lives until they finally accept themselves years later. Don't decide to live your life as something you aren't. You will only end up living a shadow of the life you could.
    I do want to be myself ,but the reality is front of me and i couldn't ignore that.as the only son of my family ,my parents expect much of me.And life is really very very hard to one gay couple in china, almost all chinese gays marry a girl when they get older under various pressures and i definitely do not live that kind of live.the only way out i think is immigrat to other gay-frendly country,and im work for it
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    May 27, 2012 6:00 PM GMT
    Thanks for the kind responses everyone icon_smile.gif and to those who still haven't come out to friends/family yet i wish you the best of luck.
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    May 27, 2012 6:03 PM GMT

    Your grandmother is a cool chick. icon_wink.gif


    ...and really quite marvelous. She knows what love is, and even better, she knows how.

    Congrats AlexanderB!
  • BeNiHiKoU

    Posts: 250

    May 27, 2012 6:19 PM GMT
    offshore saidOP - MAKE some time and go visit that amazing woman.


    ...Amen...
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    May 27, 2012 6:24 PM GMT
    dancerjack said...i hope all of you can be embarrassed by your family's pride in you. it's one of the most empowering feelings in the world.


    Photobucket
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    May 27, 2012 6:43 PM GMT
    were you trying to give her a heart attack icon_eek.gif