Friend Meddling in New Relationship- What to do?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 26, 2012 9:04 PM GMT
    There's a mutual friend of a guy who I've recently started dating who is meddling in our relationship. First he told us to "hold off on dating each other until he made more friends" when we both asked if each other were single. Now that we're finally dating he's telling us not to kiss or hold hands (basically be affectionate) in his presence. WTF? Then added "this is why I was only friends with straight guys before..."

    I asked him why and he told me he'd feel like the third wheel if we do.... I don't want to seem insensitive to this but when I pressed him about this he told me he wasn't friends with his other friends who dated each other (could be the meddling maybe?) A little worried he being immature about this and think he's crossing a line here; maybe he's even jealous... idk what's with him. After I the news that we're dating when hanging out last night he gave me the silent treatment like a 5 year old. icon_rolleyes.gif ? Real friends don't behave like that.

    How do I handle this? Should we just drop him as a friend?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2012 12:24 AM GMT
    For now yes. Your relationship is about you and your guy. Talk to your guy about this before you talk to that friend.
  • ja89

    Posts: 789

    May 27, 2012 3:08 AM GMT
    meninlove said For now yes. Your relationship is about you and your guy. Talk to your guy about this before you talk to that friend.


    thread over nothing else really matters from this on out.

    I suggest if you have any relationship advice, just message MenInLove. icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2012 4:15 AM GMT
    daviddoublebay saidThose types of guys can become extremely vindictive and are capable of a lot more harm down the road.

    Watch out. Seriously.

    I would get the guy outta' my life immediately.

    Yep, had something like that happened to me. This BF had been an emotional roller coaster for me, breaking up with me in a rage time & again, then wanting us to get back together a week or 2 later. Finally during one of these breakups, I think the 6th, I told him that was enough and I wasn't taking him back again.

    Instead I began a new relationship. And the ex-BF, whom I'd still see around town, would give me all kinds of reasons why this new guy was all wrong for me, though he'd never met him. And when I let it be known that I was bringing this guy to live with me as my partner, the ex told me I was making a terrible mistake.

    So months later my partner & I were living in a new place, and my ex flew into town near midnight. He needed a ride to his own place 70 miles away, his elderly parents having driven him to the airport when he flew out, but he couldn't ask them to come and get him at that late hour. But I didn't want to drive all the way out there and back, either, so I suggested he sleep overnight in our spare bedroom, and we could decide next morning who would drive him.

    My partner was already asleep by the time I brought the ex from the airport, and showed him into the spare bedroom. And you know that bastard tried to seduce me right there, not 15 feet from my own bedroom door, and my sleeping partner! Naturally I refused, and that made him mad at me.

    Thereafter he started nasty rumors about my partner & me at our local gay club, and elsewhere among our friends, trying to ruin our reputations and make us unpopular. Fortunately he failed, and only made himself look foolish, his motive clear to everyone. He's the only ex-BF I have ever deliberately avoided after breaking up, haven't spoken to him in years. And even down here in Florida I still hear reports from friends of how he continues his character assassination of me years later.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2012 7:32 AM GMT
    I have a feeling that he likes you and he's already jealous....it's his responsibility to make new friends for himself not your...Also, he already shows a sign of controling/neediness, I'd say distance and drop him for now to spend time with your guy. If he's still being a big bitch soon in the future and you don't think it's worth it to keep him then completely drop him altogether.



  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2012 8:06 AM GMT
    There is always the possibility that he would just like to have guy friends who happen to be gay and don't need to screw each other. Might be why he said he usually hangs out with str8 people... cause str8 guys can be friends without dating each other :/

    People sometimes say exactly what they mean.