Why can't gay men be less picky.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2012 5:29 AM GMT
    I know plenty of str8 guys that are not that picky about a woman's looks. As long as it's got tits and a pussy that's pretty much what matters.

    Why isn't it the same with gay guys? Why are we so hooked on appearance?

    It sure doesn't make dating any easier.

    Just curious. Not that I'd ever give up my love of hot studs. icon_wink.gif
  • Steven791

    Posts: 95

    May 27, 2012 6:29 AM GMT
    I know a few gay guys that are like 'oh hey, a hole, look, my dick fits!'

    But for the most part i've noticed most gay guys are either shallow or have unrealistically high standards. I think it's because lots of gay men are so concerned about their own appearance. It's a vicious cycle.
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    May 27, 2012 6:36 AM GMT
    i don't think i agree with the presumption here that taking care of oneself and expecting others to do the same is bad/shallow. anything can be taken to extremes, of course, but i don't think wanting to be healthy and attractive is a bad trait.
  • rf_dal

    Posts: 380

    May 27, 2012 6:40 AM GMT
    dancerjack saidi don't think i agree with the presumption here that taking care of oneself and expecting others to do the same is bad/shallow. anything can be taken to extremes, of course, but i don't think wanting to be healthy and attractive is a bad trait.


    There's a big difference between healthy and underwear model. And one is what most guys are looking for. Hint: it's not "healthy."
  • Steven791

    Posts: 95

    May 27, 2012 7:02 AM GMT
    dancerjack saidi don't think i agree with the presumption here that taking care of oneself and expecting others to do the same is bad/shallow. anything can be taken to extremes, of course, but i don't think wanting to be healthy and attractive is a bad trait.


    Taking care of yourself and wanting your potential partner to do the same isn't shallow, thats perfectly normal. It's when you aren't interested in someone because they don't meet up to the expectations of your perfect guy. Having standards is one thing but a lot of people take them to the extreme, especially where I live..
  • JT65

    Posts: 9

    May 27, 2012 8:39 AM GMT
    Because most gays are f'ed up in the head?
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    May 27, 2012 1:43 PM GMT
    Steven791 said
    dancerjack saidi don't think i agree with the presumption here that taking care of oneself and expecting others to do the same is bad/shallow. anything can be taken to extremes, of course, but i don't think wanting to be healthy and attractive is a bad trait.


    Taking care of yourself and wanting your potential partner to do the same isn't shallow, thats perfectly normal. It's when you aren't interested in someone because they don't meet up to the expectations of your perfect guy. Having standards is one thing but a lot of people take them to the extreme, especially where I live..

    So what about a lot of "perfect" looking jocks here. Great body, face, don't have a hair out of place. But they are only interested in other perfect jocks and won't give anyone else the time of day. Does that mean they're just lucky they can get what they want or are they fucked up in the head or superficial?
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    May 27, 2012 1:48 PM GMT
    I think people should bother to get the know the person inside, regardless of the superficial attractive attributes. The ins and outs of a person can appeal, or appall, different people; everyone wants something beautiful, true and worthwhile. As people grow they learn what really matters to them and what will make relationships truly last. If not, there are plenty of bars and clubs out there to drowned their afflictions.

    Personally, I could date the front man from Weezer, a soldier, a vegan hipster, glam thug, muscle daddy bear, and an average guy; as long as we get a long and share interests. icon_biggrin.gificon_cool.gificon_twisted.gif

    Nothing wrong with hot guys either... just don't like the ones who are solely dependent on their looks to get by with guys and life... /scoff* icon_confused.gificon_confused.gificon_confused.gif
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    May 27, 2012 2:21 PM GMT
    There are lots of very good looking guys on this site with amazing bodies but tbh in all my time as a member here I seriously couldn't see myself wanting to date any of them. It's almost too much of a good thing.

    I guess I'm the opposite of a lot of gay men in that I actively discriminate against guys that are too attractive.

    My view is the incredibly hot guys are for fucking not for dating.

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    May 27, 2012 2:24 PM GMT
    Because gays have better taste in looks than straights. icon_cool.gif
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    May 27, 2012 3:02 PM GMT
    whateveryo saidThere are lots of very good looking guys on this site with amazing bodies but tbh in all my time as a member here I seriously couldn't see myself wanting to date any of them. It's almost too much of a good thing.

    I guess I'm the opposite of a lot of gay men in that I actively discriminate against guys that are too attractive.

    My view is the incredibly hot guys are for fucking not for dating.



    Believe me, I've been there and understand the sentiment. There's a guy I know whom most would consider "perfect" that completely upended my worldview and made me reexamine my own reverse shallowness.

    The guy is about my age and has accomplished so much more in our short lives, put in more work for the community at large, has a mind like a steel trap, looks like a Norse demigod, and STILL eats his fair share of humble pie.

    He's made me consider, "How many other gorgeous men have what he has that I've dismissed based on their looks alone?" which brought me uncomfortably closer to the raging monster underneath it all whose existence I'd consciously denied: jealousy.
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    May 27, 2012 3:15 PM GMT
    I'm jealous of the hot guys who have the looks and have guys lined up around the block.
    It' not easy accepting that the reality is quite different for some of us.
    Every aspect is so much more work, and some of it is altogether out of reach.
    For me the worst part is 99% of the time being hit on by guys that don't arouse me on any level. Some exceptions, but not as many as I'd like. Seems I always have to go after what I like. They never come knocking on my door.
    That can do strange things to your ego.

    And yes, like your Norse God, someone who actually cares about others, has given his life purpose and actually has some sense of humility would be so much more attractive than just a pretty face who has none of these qualities.
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    May 27, 2012 3:28 PM GMT
    Helios69 said
    Steven791 said
    dancerjack saidi don't think i agree with the presumption here that taking care of oneself and expecting others to do the same is bad/shallow. anything can be taken to extremes, of course, but i don't think wanting to be healthy and attractive is a bad trait.


    Taking care of yourself and wanting your potential partner to do the same isn't shallow, thats perfectly normal. It's when you aren't interested in someone because they don't meet up to the expectations of your perfect guy. Having standards is one thing but a lot of people take them to the extreme, especially where I live..

    So what about a lot of "perfect" looking jocks here. Great body, face, don't have a hair out of place. But they are only interested in other perfect jocks and won't give anyone else the time of day. Does that mean they're just lucky they can get what they want or are they fucked up in the head or superficial?


    Why does it make them fucked up in the head?

    10's don't end up with 5's.
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    May 27, 2012 3:32 PM GMT
    Your "10's don't end up with 5's" quote makes a lot of sense.
    I was just asking, because some of the other posts implied that only going for hot guys made a person shallow.
    But the really hot guys are usually just working at a higher level than the rest of us. They may go for appearance first, but I'm guessing the other traits are just important, but to them it's apperance first, then they look for the other traits?
    I guess that's the same for just about anybody, it's just that hot jocks get the best selection.
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    May 27, 2012 3:47 PM GMT
    CosmoLogic said
    whateveryo saidThere are lots of very good looking guys on this site with amazing bodies but tbh in all my time as a member here I seriously couldn't see myself wanting to date any of them. It's almost too much of a good thing.

    I guess I'm the opposite of a lot of gay men in that I actively discriminate against guys that are too attractive.

    My view is the incredibly hot guys are for fucking not for dating.



    Believe me, I've been there and understand the sentiment. There's a guy I know whom most would consider "perfect" that completely upended my worldview and made me reexamine my own reverse shallowness.

    The guy is three years younger than me and has accomplished so much more in our short lives, put in more work for the community at large, has a mind like a steel trap, looks like a Norse demigod, and STILL eats his fair share of humble pie.

    He's made me consider, "How many other gorgeous men have what he has that I've dismissed based on their looks alone?" which brought me uncomfortably closer to the raging monster underneath it all whose existence I denied: jealousy.


    My views come from my own insecurities and hatred of men like that so I'm well aware in my case that it's me who has the problem, not them icon_lol.gif

    It is probably jealousy...........how dare they be gorgeous and a decent human being ! icon_biggrin.gif

    Still doesn't change the fact that they make me wanna grab a gun and blow their brains out. icon_twisted.gif

    20120526-pictures-madonna-mdna-tour-rehe
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 27, 2012 4:09 PM GMT

    "Men don't date other men for their looks."

    I read this line years ago and I always thought it was gospel until I signed on to RJ for the first time. What a revelation it's been hangin' with you guys. (And as far as the subject of this particular thread, I'm not really sure I mean that in a totally positive light.)

    To those of you who are always looking/never finding/wondering why, it's because you have turned the laws of probability against you. You want a blond, over 6 ft, between 25 and 27, sharp dresser, non-smoker, successful, muscular, out, versatile, etc., etc. Multiply all those individual probabilities together (which is how the statisticians do it) and your chances of finding that guy are like one in a gazillion. Lighten up and loosen up, people. And now, back to the top of this post for a re-read---->
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    May 27, 2012 4:15 PM GMT
    7Famark saidWhy does it make them fucked up in the head?

    10's don't end up with 5's.


    If this site teaches us anything, it's that 10s apparently end up lonely.
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    May 27, 2012 4:17 PM GMT
    Not as lonley as us 5's or lower.
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    May 27, 2012 4:19 PM GMT
    Helios69 saidNot as lonley as us 5's or lower.


    Looks are so subjective and the 'rating system' is retarded but I don't get how you can rate yourself a 5.

    I think a lot of gay men forget what 'average' looks like.............
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    May 27, 2012 4:19 PM GMT
    Helios69 saidI'm jealous of the hot guys who have the looks and have guys lined up around the block.
    It' not easy accepting that the reality is quite different for some of us.
    Every aspect is so much more work, and some of it is altogether out of reach.
    For me the worst part is 99% of the time being hit on by guys that don't arouse me on any level. Some exceptions, but not as many as I'd like. Seems I always have to go after what I like. They never come knocking on my door.
    That can do strange things to your ego.

    And yes, like your Norse God, someone who actually cares about others, has given his life purpose and actually has some sense of humility would be so much more attractive than just a pretty face who has none of these qualities.


    What were you saying about gay men needing to be less picky?
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    May 27, 2012 4:20 PM GMT
    Helios69 saidYour "10's don't end up with 5's" quote makes a lot of sense.
    I was just asking, because some of the other posts implied that only going for hot guys made a person shallow.
    But the really hot guys are usually just working at a higher level than the rest of us. They may go for appearance first, but I'm guessing the other traits are just important, but to them it's apperance first, then they look for the other traits?
    I guess that's the same for just about anybody, it's just that hot jocks get the best selection.


    Lol, I don't want to be thrown in there "with the rest of us"
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    May 27, 2012 4:22 PM GMT
    7Famark said
    Helios69 saidYour "10's don't end up with 5's" quote makes a lot of sense.
    I was just asking, because some of the other posts implied that only going for hot guys made a person shallow.
    But the really hot guys are usually just working at a higher level than the rest of us. They may go for appearance first, but I'm guessing the other traits are just important, but to them it's apperance first, then they look for the other traits?
    I guess that's the same for just about anybody, it's just that hot jocks get the best selection.


    Lol, I don't want to be thrown in there "with the rest of us"

    Who the fuck does? icon_wink.gif
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    May 27, 2012 4:23 PM GMT
    Stuttershock said
    Helios69 saidI'm jealous of the hot guys who have the looks and have guys lined up around the block.
    It' not easy accepting that the reality is quite different for some of us.
    Every aspect is so much more work, and some of it is altogether out of reach.
    For me the worst part is 99% of the time being hit on by guys that don't arouse me on any level. Some exceptions, but not as many as I'd like. Seems I always have to go after what I like. They never come knocking on my door.
    That can do strange things to your ego.

    And yes, like your Norse God, someone who actually cares about others, has given his life purpose and actually has some sense of humility would be so much more attractive than just a pretty face who has none of these qualities.


    What were you saying about gay men needing to be less picky?

    Trust me, I know. Guilty as charged.
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    May 27, 2012 4:23 PM GMT
    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    May 27, 2012 4:24 PM GMT
    whateveryo said
    CosmoLogic said
    whateveryo saidThere are lots of very good looking guys on this site with amazing bodies but tbh in all my time as a member here I seriously couldn't see myself wanting to date any of them. It's almost too much of a good thing.

    I guess I'm the opposite of a lot of gay men in that I actively discriminate against guys that are too attractive.

    My view is the incredibly hot guys are for fucking not for dating.



    Believe me, I've been there and understand the sentiment. There's a guy I know whom most would consider "perfect" that completely upended my worldview and made me reexamine my own reverse shallowness.

    The guy is three years younger than me and has accomplished so much more in our short lives, put in more work for the community at large, has a mind like a steel trap, looks like a Norse demigod, and STILL eats his fair share of humble pie.

    He's made me consider, "How many other gorgeous men have what he has that I've dismissed based on their looks alone?" which brought me uncomfortably closer to the raging monster underneath it all whose existence I denied: jealousy.


    My views come from my own insecurities and hatred of men like that so I'm well aware in my case that it's me who has the problem, not them icon_lol.gif

    It is probably jealousy...........how dare they be gorgeous and a decent human being ! icon_biggrin.gif

    Still doesn't change the fact that they make me wanna grab a gun and blow their brains out. icon_twisted.gif

    20120526-pictures-madonna-mdna-tour-rehe


    Right?! icon_lol.gif
    Even though I know better, I still have my one-step-back days.