Maybe I Should Try Going Straight

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    Jul 25, 2008 2:44 AM GMT
    The latest wave of anti-fat attacks here has left me wondering if I should continue being a part of the gay community. I mean, the community obviously has an intense dislike for me. Maybe I should just cut myself off from it and try to meet a woman.

    It's very lonely not having any friends and very few links to the outside world. I have tried losing weight but now I am wondering if a community which requires I make high-intensity diet and exercise my lifes work, until it finally approves and lets me in the door of the party, is worth the effort.icon_confused.gif
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Jul 25, 2008 2:47 AM GMT
    Sorry you feel this way Chaserprize, although I really can't blame you. But it's fairly easy to ignore pathetic, unintelligent, ignorant assholes; they're like white noise, and are the ones that actually die sad, bitter and alone.
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    Jul 25, 2008 2:59 AM GMT
    Ya, this site really could use some help with size acceptance. But don't use it as an excuse to give up. The gay universe does not make a demand of you that your body be a particular way. Have you been inside a gay bar? They are not packed with gym bunnies but guys, just guys. Guys who have different priorities in life, guys in different shapes and sizes. Heck, there are even segments of the gay population that are into larger guys; and your name implies you are aware of this.

    And why do you have few links to the outside world? You are a 30 minute drive from Manhattan.
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    Jul 25, 2008 3:39 AM GMT
    Trust me, there are LOTS of guys out there who are into body types other than the "gym bunnies". If you want, I can PM you some of the sites I've come across over the years.

    Not saying you should leave this place in favour of "greener pastures", but you needn't limit yourself if you're feeling upset.
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    Jul 25, 2008 4:38 AM GMT
    blink777 saidTrust me, there are LOTS of guys out there who are into body types other than the "gym bunnies". If you want, I can PM you some of the sites I've come across over the years.

    Not saying you should leave this place in favour of "greener pastures", but you needn't limit yourself if you're feeling upset.


    PM?icon_confused.gif
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    Jul 25, 2008 4:41 AM GMT
    Chasersprize said
    PM?icon_confused.gif

    Sorry, term from most forums I use. PM = Personal Message. The RJ equivalent would be mail.
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    Jul 25, 2008 4:49 AM GMT
    Chasersprize saidThe latest wave of anti-fat attacks here...

    Anti-Fat Attacks? on Real Jock? I thought it was pretty damn supportive around here. That's really out of line... It's one thing to not be attracted to bigger guys, and another to insult bigger guys.
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    Jul 25, 2008 4:52 AM GMT
    blind2limits saidAnti-Fat Attacks? on Real Jock? I thought it was pretty damn supportive around here. That's really out of line... It's one thing to not be attracted to bigger guys, and another to insult bigger guys.

    http://www.realjock.com/gayforums/238579/
    Wouldn't call it an attack thread, but it's not an overly positive thread for some.
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    Jul 25, 2008 5:52 AM GMT
    Chasersprize saidThe latest wave of anti-fat attacks here has left me wondering if I should continue being a part of the gay community. I mean, the community obviously has an intense dislike for me. Maybe I should just cut myself off from it and try to meet a woman.

    It's very lonely not having any friends and very few links to the outside world. I have tried losing weight but now I am wondering if a community which requires I make high-intensity diet and exercise my lifes work, until it finally approves and lets me in the door of the party, is worth the effort.icon_confused.gif


    Maybe you should keep to the cardio or find a chub chaser. Not everyone is going to find you attractive. You think people like me have it easy? Believe me I masturbated FIVE times today. My dating life is shit too. And in fact I thought about going straight too today as I was doing cardio, wedged in between two fine looking ladies that smelled REALLY good.

    As for the gay community accepting you: fuck that. What do you think RJ is reading fuck me rainbow? It's full of bigots, sexually attractive whores, and sexual predators. You need acceptance from that?
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    Jul 25, 2008 5:54 AM GMT
    Before you do -- think: "Dubai: Make want happy!" (",)
    jakebenson saidNot everyone is going to find you attractive. You think people like me have it easy? Believe me I masturbated FIVE times today.

    You little shit! Why didn't you wake me up before you go go!? icon_mad.gif
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    Jul 25, 2008 6:05 AM GMT


    Hey Chasersprize,

    Don't do it! Don't let the anti-fat attackers have any impact on you. They don't deserve the consideration.

    Doug n Bill

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    Jul 25, 2008 6:17 AM GMT
    Honey, when I went on my RJ hiatus recently- this was one of the reasons too that made me do it, as it really felt depressing! I suggest, you go out more because the total number of RJ members is NOT an absolute representation of all gay men in the universe! What you read is only the opinions of the more outspoken ones-- which is insignificant in number as a pebble in the sands of Arabia!!!
    So cheer up, there is more to life than all these things that weight you down... and smile more!!! icon_biggrin.gif


    My one tru lurve Jakebenson won't even respond to my gazillion messages, let alone take a look at my lovely profile. See? icon_lol.gificon_lol.gificon_lol.gif

    Don't woRRy, be haFFy!!!
    fatso.jpg
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    Jul 25, 2008 6:26 AM GMT
    Chasersprize saidThe latest wave of anti-fat attacks here has left me wondering if I should continue being a part of the gay community. I mean, the community obviously has an intense dislike for me. Maybe I should just cut myself off from it and try to meet a woman.

    It's very lonely not having any friends and very few links to the outside world. I have tried losing weight but now I am wondering if a community which requires I make high-intensity diet and exercise my lifes work, until it finally approves and lets me in the door of the party, is worth the effort.icon_confused.gif

    Dude, if you require validation from others, you will live a fucked life. ...If being fat bothers you, that's inside you. ...Answer to yourself. ...If being fat doesnt bother you, then fuck 'em if they cant take a joke.

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    Jul 25, 2008 6:34 AM GMT
    Caslon5000 said
    Chasersprize saidThe latest wave of anti-fat attacks here has left me wondering if I should continue being a part of the gay community. I mean, the community obviously has an intense dislike for me. Maybe I should just cut myself off from it and try to meet a woman.

    It's very lonely not having any friends and very few links to the outside world. I have tried losing weight but now I am wondering if a community which requires I make high-intensity diet and exercise my lifes work, until it finally approves and lets me in the door of the party, is worth the effort.icon_confused.gif

    Dude, if you require validation from others, you will live a fucked life. ...If being fat bothers you, that's inside you. ...Answer to yourself. ...If being fat doesnt bother you, then fuck 'em if they cant take a joke.



    It does bother me. I am also bothered by the fact that I am part of a community that wants no part of me.
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    Jul 25, 2008 6:44 AM GMT
    Chasersprize saidIt does bother me. I am also bothered by the fact that I am part of a community that wants no part of me.

    HA! I am a fine example of that! I will not deny the fact that there is a gay community here in Dubai but they're "too perfect" (typical "Alpha" male complex) for their own kind i.e. --no one from Dubai on RJ even messages me nor reply to my messages! Then why would I push myself to be in the company of someone who does not want a part of you--yes, I am gay and I will remain that way; and there are many more people out there who are worthy of your time, company and love.
    Sadly, my attitude here (as far as "gay life" in Dubai's concerned) has become more like "who needs to be part of a (pretentious) gay community when you have fabulous caring friends around you? Regardless of whether they're gay or not, I will only embrace those who come towards me --and embrace me back.
    Life is too short to require others' validation.
    I hope you have a strong support system offline. That's how you'd get through this. That's how I did.

    Zx
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    Jul 25, 2008 6:53 AM GMT
    Chasersprize saidIt does bother me. I am also bothered by the fact that I am part of a community that wants no part of me.

    Well, if it bothers you, why do you think it shouldnt bother others.

    Now, you can cry about what you cant change or you can change. I have posted articles about guys who have dropped tremendous amounts of weight...and there are dudes on here who have done the same. All I can say is that you need to see if any of them can serve as a model for yourself ...or figure out your own way.

    During my cancer therapy and accompanying depression, I packed on the pounds by eating chocolate eclairs as my great comfort food. Now I am paying the price...but figuratively and literally. I have to try to watch what I eat...Oh god! that is hard!...and exercise. That is where the literal paying for it comes in. I have had to hire a personal trainer to keep me on track. PTs arent cheap.

    I dont know if they have diet trainers or not. ...Hmmmmm, I wonder if that could be a whole new career. ...Coaching others individually on their diets.

    Oh...and I dont even want to try to imagine how much the gay community doesnt want a fat whiner!

    Also, realize you can diet...now let's talk about being bald in the gay community!
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    Jul 25, 2008 6:59 AM GMT

    Hey Chasersprize,

    When I was in my 20s I was 6ft 2 inches and 125 lbs!! I was used to being called, because of my afro(1974) a brown q-tip. It was hopeless, and I felt just as you do. Man, do I sympathize. Years went by and I gradually filled out. I refused to throw my life into someone else's lifestyle of fitness. They could only judge books by their covers! It was my life, dammit. I also refused to be driven away by others' callous attitudes. So I concentrated on my inside muscles, my feelings and my heart, and how to communicate well, and how to love. I had many interests. I wrote, I learned guitar and piano, I did excercise, but things I considered fun, like bike and horseback riding, skating and swimming. Usually by myself. By the time I met Bill I was ready.

    Hang in!
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    Jul 25, 2008 7:22 AM GMT
    Quote: "The latest wave of anti-fat attacks here has left me wondering if I should continue being a part of the gay community."

    Maybe you shouldn't blame the gay community: there are "anti-fat" people in the straight community as well.

    Quote: "I am wondering if a community which requires I make high-intensity diet and exercise my lifes work, until it finally approves and lets me in the door of the party, is worth the effort."

    Speaking of letting people into the "party", what kind of guys have you chosen for your "Hot List"? icon_question.gif

    Since this is a fitness forum, perhaps we should be discussing: How many calories do you consume everyday? Do you drink soft drinks? How many hours do you work-out every week? How many hours do you spend walking every week?
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    Jul 25, 2008 7:29 AM GMT
    Coolrabbit saidSpeaking of letting people into the "party", what kind of guys have you chosen for your "Hot List"? icon_question.gif

    Oh, good catch! ...Hoisted by your own petard, Mr Prize!
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    Jul 25, 2008 7:33 AM GMT

    Cool, there is a separate forum for fitness and this isn't it.

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    Jul 25, 2008 7:40 AM GMT

    For heaven's sakes, a hotlist is just an example of what turns one on.

    This is about acceptance, not dating or tricking.

    geeez....
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    Jul 25, 2008 7:52 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    For heaven's sakes, a hotlist is just an example of what turns one on.

    This is about acceptance, not dating or tricking.

    geeez....

    Yes, but it shows that he is turned on by the same thing as others in the "community." So it shouldnt be so hard for him to understand it.
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    Jul 25, 2008 7:56 AM GMT

    OK,

    but we have lots of friends we're not
    sexually interested in.
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    Jul 25, 2008 7:59 AM GMT
    meninlove said
    OK,

    but we have lots of friends we're not
    sexually interested in.

    He can have friends...esp on here. ...But I dont think that that is what this thread is about.
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    Jul 25, 2008 8:24 AM GMT
    Chasersprize said
    It does bother me. I am also bothered by the fact that I am part of a community that wants no part of me.


    WTF. This isn't a community. The only thing that bonds homosexuals is that they're the only group of people willing to have sex with the same sex so they're stuck rummaging through each other for the right mate. Oh yeah and maybe a handful of people in their 50s who still remember when being gay really sucked and hold on to their economic enclave formed in the 60s and 70s. Aside from that, going onto a jock website and accusing everyone of collectively banning you based on your weight is pretty absurd. That's like me jumping into a figure skating rink, not skating fast enough, and then blaming all the other skaters for not slowing down and helping me skate.

    You live in New York. Can you not just walk out of your apartment and hit on guys left and right? I miss that city. I try the stare thing here in LA and all I get is a bunch of munger betches that pretend to avoid my stare only to glance back at me when they know I've given up and found someone else to look at.