Stereotypes and assumptions

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2012 2:40 PM GMT
    I've just realized that I have a tendency of assuming that every guy who is sensitive, sweet, polite and possesses depth... is gay.

    Of course I always turn out to be right. But the habit that's wrong. It's not cool to stereotype people. icon_neutral.gif

    What are your assumptions? Like maybe you think that every "butch" gay guy is a top, and every "fem" gay guy is a bottom (much to my delight I've seen both stereotypes shattered, by the way icon_biggrin.gif)

    What habits are you trying to break, in terms of pre-judging folks?

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    May 29, 2012 2:50 PM GMT
    I usually assume anyone really tall like 6'3 and over are automatically tops. I also assume if a guy is really fat me must smell bad
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    May 29, 2012 3:01 PM GMT
    I have a habit of thinking all hot guys want to do me. Even if they're straight. icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2012 3:02 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidI have a habit of thinking all hot guys want to do me. Even if they're straight. icon_biggrin.gif
    Experience is a powerful teacher. icon_lol.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2012 3:03 PM GMT
    I always assume I wont get along with twinks icon_neutral.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2012 3:09 PM GMT
    Claystation saidI always assume I wont get along with twinks icon_neutral.gif


    Clearly you've not met the right twinks then! icon_lol.gif
  • HtotheOMO

    Posts: 70

    May 29, 2012 3:13 PM GMT
    Claystation saidI always assume I wont get along with twinks icon_neutral.gif


    i love twinks but i assume there all bitchy
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    May 29, 2012 3:52 PM GMT
    oneofakind326 said

    Clearly you've not met the right twinks then! icon_lol.gif


    Which ones are the right ones?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2012 3:55 PM GMT
    Assumptions are the problem, not the kind of guys you're talking to, or their personalities.
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    May 29, 2012 3:57 PM GMT
    Tenebrism said
    paulflexes saidI have a habit of thinking all hot guys want to do me. Even if they're straight. icon_biggrin.gif
    Experience is a powerful teacher. icon_lol.gif
    I never sexed a teacher named Experience. Is he hot?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2012 4:02 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Tenebrism said
    paulflexes saidI have a habit of thinking all hot guys want to do me. Even if they're straight. icon_biggrin.gif
    Experience is a powerful teacher. icon_lol.gif
    I never sexed a teacher named Experience. Is he hot?


    Hot, but a bit prudish. I, however, am a teacher and easy... icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2012 4:02 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    Tenebrism said
    paulflexes saidI have a habit of thinking all hot guys want to do me. Even if they're straight. icon_biggrin.gif
    Experience is a powerful teacher. icon_lol.gif
    I never sexed a teacher named Experience. Is he hot?
    I'm surprised. Rumor has it he wants to do you. icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2012 4:05 PM GMT
    There are stereotypes for a reason and its because statistically enough of us in a particular society have come across enough of a particular group that exhibit a particular trait.

    Americans are arrogant.
    Englishmen have bad teeth.
    Southerners are Bible thumpers.
    New Yorkers are rude.

    The trouble enters the picture when you say:

    All Americans are arrogant.
    All Englishmen have bad teeth.
    All Southerners are Bible thumpers.
    All New Yorkers are rude.

    And you truly believe it and allow your beliefs to color how you view all Americans, Englishmen, Southerners, New Yorkers and worse yet how you treat them individually.
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    May 29, 2012 4:14 PM GMT
    UndercoverMan saidThere are stereotypes for a reason and its because statistically enough of us in a particular society have come across enough of a particular group that exhibit a particular trait.

    Americans are arrogant.
    Englishmen have bad teeth.
    Southerners are Bible thumpers.
    New Yorkers are rude.

    The trouble enters the picture when you say:

    All Americans are arrogant.
    All Englishmen have bad teeth.
    All Southerners are Bible thumpers.
    All New Yorkers are rude.

    And you truly believe it and allow your beliefs to color how you view all Americans, Englishmen, Southerners, New Yorkers and worse yet how you treat them individually.


    Well said, and you also have to be aware that some stereotypes change or evolve. The one about Englishmen's teeth refers to the generations of the 40s to 60s, anyone my age or younger is likely to have just as good a set of teeth as a North American, since basic dental care is covered by the NHS (they pay less than I do in Ontario for a check up/cleaning).
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    May 29, 2012 4:17 PM GMT
    Other stereotypes I know I fall into...

    - someone who makes a point of insisting on "discretion" in their profile is probably not out or is cheating on a partner who doesn't know.

    - someone who makes a HUGE deal about how masculine they are and how they're only attracted to same, likely has internalised homophobia and prejudices against effeminate men, drag queens, guys who don't like sports...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2012 5:26 PM GMT
    Anyone who makes sweeping generalisations obviously has issues.
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    May 29, 2012 8:36 PM GMT
    Stuttershock saidAnyone who makes sweeping generalisations obviously has issues.


    It's cute, how you make a sweeping generalization about people who make sweeping generalizations. Here's hoping that you're really being facetious and didn't just put this up without realizing the irony
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2012 8:58 PM GMT
    I assume that if you're muscular + tall (combinations thereof) that you have confidence.

    I try not to make"every" statements, but we all do it.

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    May 29, 2012 9:14 PM GMT
    wind it back gurl, wind it back gurl
    duck your head, touch the floor, wind it back

    tumblr_lugm70q4sR1qbchu6o1_500.gif

    drop to your knees arch your back gurl, shake shake it like that alley cat

    drop drop to your knees arch your back gurl, shake shake it like that alley cat
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2012 9:15 PM GMT
    I assume that every guy that sends me a long, but generic email on the day he joins RJ, has sent this email to many others and will not notice if I don't reply.
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    May 29, 2012 9:29 PM GMT
    I always assume younger guys are train wrecks and don't have their shit together...turns out I'm usually right. icon_neutral.gif
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    May 29, 2012 9:47 PM GMT
    The_Watchers said
    Stuttershock saidAnyone who makes sweeping generalisations obviously has issues.


    It's cute, how you make a sweeping generalization about people who make sweeping generalizations. Here's hoping that you're really being facetious and didn't just put this up without realizing the irony


    It was the later, not intended to offend or be a comment on anyone here. icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    May 29, 2012 9:59 PM GMT
    I had a lot of preconceptions just after coming out in '94. I knew no gay people growing up (that I knew of), and I based my idea of gayness on my flame-y, swishy classmates in high school.
    The first guy I fell for was over 6', played basketball, deep gravelly voice and built like a classical greek statue. He was bi, but still...

    I learned that our 'mo brothers come in all shapes and sizes and varying degrees of flame and sensitivity.
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    May 29, 2012 10:04 PM GMT
    If I see fat people in McDonald's I sit far away from them because I believe they try to take your french fries when you aren't looking.
    I believe lesbians in trucks can put a roof on my house.
    I believe Native Americans give the best haircuts.
    Asians are the best poker players because they can count cards.
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    May 29, 2012 10:05 PM GMT
    ChangeofName saidwind it back gurl, wind it back gurl
    duck your head, touch the floor, wind it back

    tumblr_lugm70q4sR1qbchu6o1_500.gif

    drop to your knees arch your back gurl, shake shake it like that alley cat

    drop drop to your knees arch your back gurl, shake shake it like that alley cat



    I always assume the guys who choose to post gifs of women, rather than men, probably identify with being female rather than male. icon_lol.gif